justapeiceofshit

[justapeiceofshit]

*trigger warning*

I think I’m gonna kill myself, like I actually don’t think I can do this anymore

#dead inside #lost #overwhelemed #heartbreak #dead #i lost my mind #get out of my head #all alone #i don’t want to live anymore #deppresing quotes

[justapeiceofshit]

Im so tired of not being enough for people

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]

The View From Halfway Down

The weak breeze whispers nothing

the water screams sublime.

His feet shift, teeter-totter

deep breaths, stand back, it’s time.

Toes untouch the overpass

soon he’s water-bound.

Eyes locked shut but peek to see

the view from halfway down.

A little wind, a summer sun

a river rich and regal.

A flood of fond endorphins

brings a calm that knows no equal.

You’re flying now, you see things

much more clear than from the ground.

It's all okay, or it would be

were you not now halfway down.

Thrash to break from gravity

what now could slow the drop?

All I’d give for toes to touch

the safety back at top.

But this is it, the deed is done

silence drowns the sound.

Before I leaped I should've seen

the view from halfway down.

I really should’ve thought about

the view from halfway down.

I wish I could've known about

the view from halfway down—

-Secretariat

[justapeiceofshit]

What do you do for a living?

Suffer

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]

“It’s not that he couldn’t love me, I don’t think he ever wanted to.”

— I was just his latest plaything

[justapeiceofshit]

I hate when people tell me I need to ‘get out of my comfort zone’ I don’t even have a comfort zone. I am literally always uncomfortable

[justapeiceofshit]

Why am I always so miserable around my birthday?

#dead inside #overwhelemed #heartbreak #lost #dead #i lost my mind #get out of my head #all alone #i don’t want to live anymore #deppresing quotes #birthday #summer nights #sad

[justapeiceofshit]

May 23rd 2021

Bro honestly I don’t see the point in living like, I’m just gonna die eventually anyway and there’s honestly a lot of pain and despair so far and very little of anything else. And I know people say shit like “live for the good days and the happy Moments” but honestly even in my happiness moments recently I feel the same as always, if not worse because it reminds me that the reason for my unhappiness isn’t my environment it’s just me.

In the happiest moments I’ve had since I met them there’s always a feeling of dread and guilt because I know I will never feel as good as I did with them ever again. And probably it’s not even about them specifically it’s just about the fact that I only think my life is worth living if I’m living it for the sake of someone else. I’m alive for my parents and for my friends but I’m not, and have never been, alive for myself. Life’s a bitch and then you die and I really can’t seem to find any kind of argument that truly contradicts that. I’m not ok, I’m never ok and the best I can do is distract myself with sex or work or tv shows but at the end of the day I’m still scared to fall asleep coz the moments before, when I lay alone in the dark, are the moments when the thoughts come and I really don’t have the energy to argue with them anymore.

[justapeiceofshit]

Want that keep a picture of you in my wallet type of love

[justapeiceofshit]

Im so tired of not being enough for people

#dead inside #lost #overwhelemed #heartbreak #dead #i lost my mind #get out of my head #all alone #i don’t want to live anymore #deppresing quotes #i lost you #you left

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]

[justapeiceofshit]