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justkillthetitan · 17 hours
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I love when fiction makes the audience feel guilty about their role as the audience. When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny. When a character breaks the fourth wall to plead for help, and you can't do anything so you just watch. And you know that the characters pain isn't real, but they're begging for help and you're not helping because their suffering is entertainment for you
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justkillthetitan · 17 hours
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do you ever think about how luo binghe was supposed to spend five years in the abyss but got out early. and how after that, shen qingqiu was dead for five years. do you think it’s some inevitability that no matter what, they have to be apart for that long. and maybe binghe turned what was meant to be five years into eight because he wanted to see shen qingqiu so badly. do you think that his good intentions brought them both more suffering.
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justkillthetitan · 17 hours
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IM BACK WITH MORE WHITE LOTUS BINGHE JAPAN EDITION BC I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 💕🪷💚
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and some other bunhe sketches to warm up and draw some more
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The prettiest boy that ever existed, I want to bite him until he squeaks
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justkillthetitan · 17 hours
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opened a fic.
"just a heads up, i have never read or watched svsss and all my knowledge comes from fanfiction and reaction videos"
?????????
this enlightened me tbh . it must be a way more common occurence in this fandom that you'd think which would explain sooo much ...
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justkillthetitan · 2 days
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Gamer AU
* Shen Qingqiu has logged in *
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justkillthetitan · 5 days
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movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….
girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.
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justkillthetitan · 7 days
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If Luo Binghe had died at the end of PIDW (and Airplane had properly finished the story before his own sudden and unexpected demise), how much do you think that would change Shen Yuan's attitude after losing his shit over it and then transmigrating into Shen Qingqiu?
So much of SV only really happens because Shen Yuan is comfortable in his certainty that the world at least won't let Luo Binghe, even if he suffers. Eventually he realizes that he can't really stand letting Luo Binghe suffering either, but part of how he compartmentalizes his no-win scenarios with the System (like the Abyss) is that, well, Binghe will be fine in the long run. He'll conquer the world, win all the ladies, live in sprawling palaces, ascend to untold heights of power, and reach a point where no one can ever threaten him again because he's just too strong to be threatened.
But if the story ended with Luo Binghe's destruction, all that would go out of the window, wouldn't it?
The idea that the world would ultimately see Luo Binghe safe would vanish. Now, it's just that Luo Binghe gets to live until his death is deemed poignant enough. What if something Shen Qingqiu does makes that point arrive sooner? But also, it's gotta be possible for him to thwart Luo Binghe's canonical death, and he wouldn't accept otherwise.
He'd be so stressed out.
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justkillthetitan · 7 days
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Luo Binghe: You may be in his DMs, but ✨I✨ am in his most gruesome nightmares. 💅
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justkillthetitan · 7 days
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the many ways shen qingqiu loves luo binghe
this was more or less inspired by this post, but because this is gonna be a personal opinion and i don't want to make a thread of it and inadvertently contest with the other two's points, I'm going to make my own post.
so i wanna start saying that "the moment one falls in love" is a trope that's waaaay to overstated. in my opinion. specially because falling in love tends to be something that has to do with romantic love most of the time, and it pretends to establish a sort of timeline, a point of no return, for ships and fictional relationships.
when the stories surrounding the characters are more straightforward, i don't really mind, since it makes sense for there to be an "Oh" moment when the character realizes they are in love. like, we know the moment lbh started to see sqq in a sexual light, and we can roughly add to this that the events of the demon invasion and the nightmare scenario are what sealed the deal for lbh. it helps that he's more honest about his feelings and the sexual awakening had already happened, and we can easily assume that from that point lbh's feelings have a romantic-sexual side.
it still has other sides... because lbh loves sqq as a shizun, as a parent, and this side of their relationship, the master-disciple and parent-child side, is intrinsic to their dynamic; it's in conflicting element during their prolonged conflict for most of the novel, but at the same time, it's their default when they want to approach each other, it's the "safe zone".
but when it comes to sqq I think it's a much more difficult thing to ask: when does sqq falls in love? when is his Oh moment? Is there one, a conscious realization that he's in love? Can his relationship with lbh be described as "being in love"?
he loved Luo Binghe The Character
—the way a reader loves a favorite character, and fanboyed about him plenty before and after transmigrating. the shadow of what the little sheep he was raising would became was ever-present throughout those first 6 years before their meeting in Jinlan City.
but he loved lbh the character in a fanatical way that wasn't actually real... it was meaningful to him because he liked this fictional character a lot, but it's a safe love from the side of a screen.
he was compelled by lbh the character, by his tragic backstory full of angst, and by the ways lbh the character did things: he "rightfully" took his anger out in the people who'd hurt him and paid back for it tenfold. in a way, sy as a reader was also projecting himself in lbh the character.
in short, he loved the Idea of luo binghe, but not luo binghe as a real person.
he loved Luo Binghe the White Lotus Disciple
—and he loved him like a parent loves a child. yet, as I mentioned, he always kept in mind that this boy would grew up to be a very attractive and sexual man, and thus sqq expected him to have romantic encounters with girls around his age.
i know some people shy away from talking about this because everyone is paranoid about your favorite character being called a pedophile etc etc, but really, sy could be nothing farther from that, and whoever who says that has a very, hmm, wide definition of the word and it's probably just using the buzzword to hate on the character.
the important thing is that, despite sqq being aware that lbh is a potential sexual being and will become very sexually active in the future, he does not in any way sexualize his and lbh's relationship. Like I said, sqq would never abuse his power in that way, and he'd never get it on with someone he sees as a child, his disciple. that lbh is very much viewing their relationship with romantic and sexual lenses is a complete shock for him because of this, along with other reasons and assumptions (that lbh was straight)
the problem here is, precisely, that he treated lbh like a child once, and would go on treating him as a child later, post-holy mausoleum: disregarding lbh's agency, making decisions for him and without asking what lbh wants, since as the parent he obviously Knows Better, and taking responsibility for lbh's "bad behavior". the endless abyss was a decision he made without consulting lbh. he self-detonated because he thought that would be best for everyone, and he intended for his death to (among other things like saving the city and escaping prison) "make up" for his mistakes. in maigu ridge, he almost kills himself again because he thought that would be better for lbh.
he's self-sacrificing, protective, caring, and overall parental/maternal towards lbh, which has it's good and bad sides. for a long time, he loves lbh like a parent loves a child, and though this side of his love for lbh is not lost in the extras, it's lesser in the sense that the power unbalance is nullified, and the parent-child, shizun-disciple side of their relationship turns more into a comforting, safe roleplay that allows them to access intimacy and express their feelings (that infamous "if i was your mother" speech) than the entirety of their relationship.
and the thing is, he always loved and will always love lbh as a parent loves a child. and i think people uncomfortable with this fact have to get around to accepting that lol
he is subconsciously attracted to luo binghe (bingmei) the Man
we all know this part. sqq's descriptions of lbh's beauty are numerous and far too difficult to quote them all, but one that really stands out to me, because it proves the point, is this one:
[Shen Qingqiu] asked, “The important person you’re talking about, was it…a good-looking young man?” When he thought about it, he decided against suppressing his conscience and clarified. “Not just good-looking, he’s very good-looking, especially good-looking. Fair skin, pretty face, tall. He doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it’s exceptionally dark.” chapter 9: borderlands
if he was unaffected by lbh's attractiveness, he wouldn't need to "suppress his conscience" about it. also this description is just... describing lbh's smile from his own pov? a personal feeling? to a stranger? he has it bad.
he's repressing his own feelings, so it's difficult to point to a specific moment as the moment he realizes he's attracted to lbh... because he never has a conscious realization, and he's in constant denial about it. all the way through to the last bingqiu extra, the wedding extra, he'll continue using the same narrative: the Protagonist is Beautiful and Irresistible, so what can sqq do but surrender to him? It's inevitable, really. (hahahaha he can't help but love and be attracted to lbh. it says more about him that he could ever verbalize)
so yeah, sqq really has the hots for lbh the man. but he'll NEVER admit it, he'll never had an Oh moment. Not even when he unconsciously called lbh "husband".
i want to make a clarification: for a character like sqq, who care about his pride and dignity way too much and has internalized homophobia and sexism to the detriment of his own peace of mind and fulfillment, admitting that he enjoys sex is way too shameful. he's never doing it. he mentions being "drunk with lust" in the showdown extra; in the deep dream extra he gets enthusiastic and proactive, initiating sex with lbh himself very smoothly; in the RoC,SoBQ extra he initially asks to do it doggy style and then changes his tune and wants to see lbh's face, DESPITE being embarrassed about it, and his desire is described as wanting the spot inside him to be rammed. all of this are subtle hints of how he really feels about sex, despite his inner struggles with his pride as a man.
another clarification: the way smut is written in western space is not the same as the way is written in chinese novels. for example, some chinese slang put the the top as the one "attacking", as if sex is a sort of fight. there's always this implication that the shou surrenders to the gong. there's a clear distinction of who tops and who bottoms and the roles of husband and wife made by this distinction; pleasure is described in differently: phrases like "scalp going numb", "getting goosebumps" are not particular to svsss alone; the way the bodies engaged in the sex act are described, etc. (it IS a different language with a different culture) so it's normal that most of us come out of the extras thinking the smut is not enjoyable for readers or the characters themselves. what is the difference between the mdzs extras and the svsss extras? that wwx, being characterized as a "shameless" person, is very vocal about how he feels during sex. he has no shame around sex, unlike sqq, who is in the opposite side of the shame spectrum.
sqq is still struggling with that part of himself, and personally I think it's very understandable that even until the end of volume 4 he still has a difficult time with it; it's not easy shedding the believes one grows up with.
which bring me to,
he loves luo binghe the Man, "romantically"
—and it's a love that conflates his parental love, his attraction, too, but that starts to develop mostly post-holy mausoleum: it's when the hand-holding starts, somehow, though it develops fulling throughout the extras, when they finally become romantic partners and explore sex together. mxtx traces an arc that starts with the showdown extra, goes through the deep dream extra that has sqq telling lbh that "Tonight I feel like... I live you a great deal" and ends in the wedding extra with sqq calling lbh "husband" unprompted; despite previously agonizing about his loss of face and dignity and the humiliation of it, his actions speak louder than his words and inner thoughts. because of this, functionally, sqq can be read as a tsundere.
but aside from the sex, sqq enjoys domesticity and spending time with lbh; he likes teasing him, conversing with him and going out with him to see the world. post-main novel they're equals in their relationship and treat each other with respect and consideration, even if their shizun-disciple roleplay prevails. by romance definitions, I believe they mostly fit them, even if their relationship is unconventional.
as for when sqq fell in love with lbh? i still don't have a clear answer. he's always loved him; this love evolves through time, bringing him and lbh closer together. personally, i don't think it's not important. sqq loves lbh, and that's what matters.
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justkillthetitan · 10 days
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Not a hell fic but I was a brain cell away from making it a hell fic...
I don't usually post/announce my fics here but the eremin tag is so dry it's giving arrakis from dune and I feel compelled to add a lil something.
So here I present you the modern setting, reincarnation, dubious, dark, grammarly-betaed, eremin fanfic that took me well over three months to plan and write and which has been the bane of my existence, aka:
Penance by justkillthetitan (me)
Summary:
“Do you believe in God?” Eren frowned.
“No.” Skeptically, he raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”
“If gods exist, they only continue to fail us.” Grisha’s eyes were devoid of the devotion he had once held for Ymir. Maybe Zeke had told him about it, or maybe he had come to learn by himself that the woman he’d venerated had not been a god or a blessing, she'd been a heavily traumatized child with no sense of self or an ounce of bravery in her bones. A letdown, a girl who was given a title too big for herself much like the powers she had stumbled upon.
“Whether they exist or not is irrelevant to the world and us,” Grisha continued. “What I believe is what I can see for myself. This is the punishment we are to carry for the rest of our lives. We were not given a second opportunity to right our wrongs or aspect of mercy; we were given retribution.”
Word Count: 17,435
Chapters: 1/1
Please check the tags and warnings!
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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The only one thing that I wish will be in MXTX's upcoming fourth novel that's set to be in the modern world is a reference to PIDW. It doesn't have to be a paragraph or anything grand, I would do anything for there to even be a throw away sentence where the new protagonist walks past a library and sees a gigantic poster for "The hottest bestseller harem webnovel" and it's a big poster of Bingge with his harem. Or maybe he's scrolling throught the Chinese equivalent of eBay and he sees that two individuals are engaging in some serious auction for a life-size Luo Binghe statue (whoever that is) and who's spending close to $15,000 for this shit and- oh, that's the thing that I am looking for that it's actually important for this novel (proceeds to forget about the auction like MXTX forgets about SVSSS).
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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The origin of heavenly demons is so interesting. A god cast down from the heavens marked with a mark of sin on their forehead that follows their bloodline. No matter how diluted their genes are they still have that mark. They're not human, they're not entirely demonic either. Their blood has been cursed, but that curse is also their power. It causes them to have an incredible bloodlust once their lost in their instincts. They can control their blood even outside of their body. They have incredible regeneration, they can regrow limbs if need be. They're feared by both demons and humans.
I wonder what the story of the first heavenly demon is. I personally think that to be cursed to this extent they were probably a very important god. My hc is that it was a Heavenly Emperor gone astray. I also like to think Binghe's his reincarnation
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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The origin of heavenly demons is so interesting. A god cast down from the heavens marked with a mark of sin on their forehead that follows their bloodline. No matter how diluted their genes are they still have that mark. They're not human, they're not entirely demonic either. Their blood has been cursed, but that curse is also their power. It causes them to have an incredible bloodlust once their lost in their instincts. They can control their blood even outside of their body. They have incredible regeneration, they can regrow limbs if need be. They're feared by both demons and humans.
I wonder what the story of the first heavenly demon is. I personally think that to be cursed to this extent they were probably a very important god. My hc is that it was a Heavenly Emperor gone astray. I also like to think Binghe's his reincarnation
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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tiny bingy sketch
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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i love the quanyin/bingqiu parallels, i think they’re funny and pretty accurate
but i also find it funny that like. qyz is absolutely no thoughts head empty. binghe has so many thoughts. too many, actually.
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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shout out to shen qingqiu for being the most controversial mxtx lead despite also being the only one who isn't a serial killer.
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justkillthetitan · 11 days
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What do you do when you spot the most beautiful merman stranded? Well of course, you carry him home and keep him
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