justlivings-world

[justlivings-world]

Oldest

It's like being a parent.

I feel half the pressure you do.

I want to be the best,

the best role model,

the best sister,

the best daughter...

But I don't feel like I'm living up to your expectations.

I feel like I'm not doing enough to keep this household running,

or making sure everyone is doing good.

I know what it feels like to be alone, in a room full of people.

I know what it's like to cry in silence.

I don't want you to feel that.

I don't want you to have anything missing.

I want to be there, like how I wish mom was.

I want to support you like your biggest fan, in the whole wide world.

Because I know the difference it can make.

I want to keep you safe, from this world and its hardships.

Because I am too familiar with them.

I want to help you worry less about our futures.

I don't want to be a burden.

Let me take things off your plate, so that way you will have more time to spend with them.

Be there for them, be there for them more than you were for me.

Trust me on that.

Focus less on work and take time to talk to them.

They grow too fast and before you know, they'll be taller than you.

Listen to them when they have something to tell you.

I'd do anything for you,

I'll go anywhere for you,

I will always be here for you,

Because that's my role as the oldest.

#my poem

[justlivings-world]

Tired

I am tired of feeling, 

Of feeling responsible for three others.

Of feeling like I am simply not enough.

Of felling like a helpless person.

Of having meltdowns and the next day starting over, like everything is ok.

Of feeling like a burden to everyone in my life. 

I despise myself for letting myself feel all these emotions. 

I do everything to not feel, and yet I do. 

Nights seem to be my worst enemy, for I have to lay and wait for sleep to take over. 

I wait but I am met with thoughts and feelings. 

There goes my good nights rest.

Why...

Why must I have to feel, 

I don’t hate everything, I want to keep going.

Or maybe I don’t.

To give in or to fight.

That’s the big question. Who known's when I’ll find the answer. 

I am tired of being tired.

[justlivings-world]

Broken Family

A family isn’t supposed to be this broken,

Or is it?

Shouldn’t we have each others backs?

Shouldn’t we help each other,

and not leave each other behind?

I thought that they would work things out.

Siblings are supposed to have each others backs but i guess that's not always the case.

I want us to reunite but not for our sake

But for the sake of the young ones.

I wonder if they will catch on..

Oh if only things were different.

If only adults knew how to act.

But now I must stand here and watch my family fall apart.

I'm in the middle and I see everyone turn their backs on each other.

They may not realize but I see it. 

I see the pieces fall and I see how in the end there will be nothing left. 

We were once happy.

We were once a family but now we are a 

Broken Family...

#family #broken #apart #sad poetry #broken family #help #my poerty #original post #my life #everyhing sucks #love #loved ones #poema #poem #little poem #1 am thoughts #sad gurl

[justlivings-world]

Reality

It’s something that I don’t want to face.

When I am able to escape, I don’t want to go back...

It’s like being able to take a breath, after coming up from the water.

Is that selfish? I mean we have to go back, eventually.. but not so soon

My reality is that I didn’t have a childhood, 

when I could I would help where I could or I would be told to do so

My gift of speaking two languages soon became a burden on my shoulders.

My quite mouth kept me from shouting when I needed to.

I clean and study, it is the same routine.

I complain but yet I continue because that is my reality.

I have my bad days, the days where I just want to scream and cry.

But in my reality I can not do that.

I must keep quite, not show too many emotions and work hard. 

Being the first born had it’s perks but now, it’s up to me to pave the way.

I don’t even know if I am doing a good job....

I don’t want to lead anyone down the same path as me. 

In reality I have no idea what I am doing, and I know I am not the only one.

But it sucks, not knowing where life will take you. 

It’s like being in a dark room. 

In reality I don’t know if I want to be here. 

Reality and Fantasy are two different things. 

But I must come back....

#late night thoughts #sad poetry #12 am thoughts #reality #sad gurl #my life #poetry #original post #lonesome #You got this #keep going #poem #oldest #trending

[justlivings-world]

She

She is as fierce as a lioness.

She’s not one to show her battle scars. 

She is a queen but doesn’t know her worth.

She’s yet to realize that she doesn’t need a man.

For she is powerful on her own.

But yet she stays and slowly loses herself.

It’s not fair that she must lay in bed and wait. 

Where she is left with a mind full like a bee hive. 

No women should be touched by drunken hands.

or be kissed by drunken lips.

They must both want it and say yes.

For she must be treated like a queen and nothing less.

She should never question her worth and compare herself to others.

For she has her kin to treat her like she deserves to be treated. 

She does have her good days,

where she shows her smile that is so captivating,

and her laugh might come out which is so contagious.

 To see her happy is liking seeing a sunflower on a beautiful day.  

However she is one of many but 

She is not alone. 

#love #self love #mom #heart break #not alone #original post #poetry #late night thoughts #powerful women #strong #daughters #i love you mom #kindness #powerfull #women #poems on tumblr #my poem #queen

[justlivings-world]

Dear Dad

I wish you could have stayed.

To see us grow up, 

to see me walk the stage,

to teach me how to drive a car,

to see me get nervous for my first day of college,

to see them go to school,

to walk them to their bus stop,

to be there when i got my first heart break. 

But most importantly to be there for mom and show her how amazing she is.

I’m not mad any more,

However I don’t know how to feel.

But I wish I could remember how your hugs felt, 

I wish I could know more about you, 

I wish I knew what your favorite cologne is,

I wish I could see you play with them and then maybe we could be a happy family.

I don’t know why you did, what you did.

I always looked up to you because you understood me.

I got my wild side from you.

I wonder if life would be the same if they hadn’t sent you away. 

For the longest I was so mad at you, I cried countless nights.

I avoided your calls and created an even bigger distance between us.

For that I am sorry. 

Now I can only hope that one day we can be reunited.

Unfortunately we are no longer your little girls...

You missed so much that I don’t think, you understand.

I miss you so much and I know I don’t say it enough but 

I love you and I will never stop. 

Dear dad, I hope to see you soon..  

#dad #love #dear dad #original work #my words #sad #poem #poetry #short letter #letter #miss you #see you soon #hopeless #my poem #for you #trending

[justlivings-world]

You and Nature

I want you to feel the morning breeze, 

to hear the birds sing their song.

to see the sun waking up like you, 

to see the sky show you it’s beautiful art. 

I want you to experience this feeling of pure peace and calm. 

Go and lay down on the ground when it is raining, 

just let the rain wash over you and let everything go.

Lay outside and look up at the sky, count the stars 

and say hello to the man on the moon.

Put your head out the car door window and feel the breeze hit your face,

or put you arm out as if was a plane traveling through the sky. 

Jump off a cliff, into the cold river water and feel the rush. 

Lay down on some grass and just look the sky, 

imagine what shapes the clouds are. 

Go to a hill and admire the sunset, 

watch as everything prepares to rest for the night.

watch as the sky shows it’s beautiful art once again. 

You and nature are one to met and hopefully 

You and nature will find peace. 

#my poem #nature #poem #poetry #sky #sunset #calm #take a break #relax #you #original work #for you #peace #emotions #i love you

[justlivings-world]

My work

I want to apologize if any of my poems triggers anyone or if it affects anyone. This is my way to express myself and my outlet. If you or anyone are in need of talking to someone then I’ll be available and there are many other resources. Please stay safe and keep your head up. 

[justlivings-world]

Weight

It fluctuates, 

there are days that I am at a good number 

but then there are days that i just know I lost.

I feel my stomach rumble with hunger but I ignore it because I don’t deserve to eat till I do my chores. 

That’s my excuse, i don’t deserve the very thing that my stomach wants.

cereal has become my go to food, 

at every doctor visit it’s always cereal that I eat. 

They say I am just fine and I believe that.

But I feel how weak I am. 

I see how small my body is,

I feel the bones that poke out 

and yet I believe them.

I could’ve sworn that this headband only went around my wrist two times... not three.

Every comment hurts me but I don’t acknowledge it, well not till i can’t hold it in anymore. 

When the bottle over flows the comments come raining down,

“You are so skinny”

“Oh hold on to me so that you won’t fly away”

“Are you sure that you can finish all of that”

“Do you even eat”

“Get more food”

How I hate how I am.

How I hate that I can’t be better. 

How I hate my weight..

#my feelings #my poem #original poetry #be better #well be okay #poem #self love #your not alone #broken #get better #keep going

[justlivings-world]

Broken Heart

It’s one of the worst things that can happen.

Falling head over heels for someone,

hoping that they stay with you for the rest of your life.

Hoping that your parent shows up this time.

Finding out your best friend isn’t your best friend. 

Yet so many things can lead to a broken heart

and these are just a couple.

So I wonder if it is similar to a heart attack?

Feeling your heart break in places that you didn’t know could be broken. 

Feeling as if you got punched in the chest,

your body wanting nothing more than to express every little thing that’s going on in your mind,

wanting to scream at the top of your lungs, till you can’t any more and soon

your eyes start to get filled with tears that your vision becomes blurry, so you have to try and blink them away which only causes more tears to come.

But then your breath becomes hot and soon your heart starts beating ,as if it’s ready to leave. 

And the worst part is that in the end you become completely numb.

But yet again you end up with a,

broken heart... 

#love #broken heart #sad times #love poem #poem #my thoughts #sad gurl #late night thoughts #poetry #random thoughts #sad thoughts #original work #youll be fine #keep your head up #i love you

[justlivings-world]

Reblog this for suicide prevention.

[justlivings-world]

Empty

Tell me what should I feel?

Is it normal to feel empty? 

Like a pitch black room.

Sometimes it goes on for days,

sometimes it happens in short periods of time,

sometimes I don’t even notice it, 

but sometimes I fight it with all my might 

and sometimes I let it consume me like a wild fire.

When I actually feel something it, I treasure it and protect it

because I know it won’t last long. 

I often question myself, 

If it is “normal” to feel this way?  

Or maybe there’s something wrong with me?

But when I am with him or when I am simply thinking about him,

I want nothing more than to feel something,

and I scare myself because I know I love him and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, 

I know I can feel something because I have felt it before and it is the most amazing feeling in the world. 

But the times that I find myself feeling empty I suppress those emotions and focus on the good. 

So each day I question myself on why I feel this way and if there is something better to feel.

And each day I go on with either feeling something or simply nothing, 

It is a bumpy road but I know things will get better.

That is what I tell myself so that I don’t give up and because I have experienced those good days.

So for now tell me what I should feel besides feeling, 

Empty.

#emotions #feelings #poem #poetry #original writing #random thoughts #deep thoughts #love #self-love #my post #writing #empty #deep poem #deep thinking #expresion #expressing my emotions #hello #sad #sadgril

[justlivings-world]

Pick One OR Make One

Life is never just a straight line

It is filed with many roads to pick.

Oh how many paths a single person can make.

But oh how many just stick to two simple ones,

they don’t realize that there can be many more paths.

I am not saying they will be better but 

I am saying that there are many options.  

So take the chance.

Yes, I know it is scary.

I know you rather stick to what you know but 

Before I leave you, let me say this 

Aren’t you scared of not knowing what could’ve happened or what could’ve been changed?

So pick one or make one.

#life #my poem #advice #poetry #original poem #mine #original post #life path #take a chance #change #live #human #adventure #take a leap #poem

[justlivings-world]

Loving you

It is the best thing in the world

Everyday that goes by I fall more in love with you.

I crave you more and more.

I can see my future with you as;

My husband,

My friend,

The father to our children,

The one that will always make me smile, 

The one that will stay up with me even when we can barley keep our eyes open,

The one that I can depend on no matter what 

and the list just goes on, 

I know that you are the one.

I don’t know how but when I think of the future I am just sure that you are the one.

No one in this world can compare to you.

I promise to love you till I give my last breath,

I want to give you the best life. 

Loving you is the best thing in the world.

#loving you #love #love poem #poem #poetry #my love #my poem #i love you #you #marriage #mine #original poem

[justlivings-world]

Missing you..

My heart aches...

Is it from the pain of missing you or being sad?

But in this moment I crave your touch,

I want your lips on mine,

I want to hold you,

I want to be with you.

I wish I could reach my hand through the screen and feel your skin under my finger tips.

Everyday my hunger for you grows.

If only my wish could come true.

I want nothing more than to be in your arms right now.

So tell me when will this pain go away?

For I hate the fact that I can see you but not touch you.

I guess for now my imagination will do.

But I am still missing you..

#love #poetry #my thoughts #my poem #long distant love #hugs #you #be mine #love poem #poem #missing you

[justlivings-world]

Which one?..

Living or Surviving

Are you living or surviving?

Are you living each day as if it was your last?

Or are you going on each day as if it was a chore?

Are you following it like a schedule?

Life is not easy,

It's a roller coaster.

When shits hits the fan,

Are you living or surviving?

Are you trying or just going along?

No one has an upper hand in life,

It may seem like they do but just like you they have their struggles.

People have their ways to live or to survive.

It's not the time to be envious,

It's the time to determine whether your

Living or Surviving.

#life #quote #my poem #my post #living #support #poetry #poem #surviving

[justlivings-world]

Running out of ideas? Here is a list of things you can do.

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