justmaenow

[justmaenow]

“She is a paradox. She is committed and yet relaxed. She is committed and yet relaxed. She loves everyone, and yet no one. She is sociable and also a loner. She is gentle and yet tough, she is passionate but also platonic. In short she is predictable in her own unpredictability.”

—

[justmaenow]

[justmaenow]

The grass is not greener on any side.

There is no grass.

The ground is scorched because the planet is on fire.

[justmaenow]

The same nigga that got you smiling one day can have you crying so hard that you throw up the next 🥴

[justmaenow]

Having the year I was expecting already and I’m not okay.

[justmaenow]

Hardest time of the year came up quick as fuck.

[justmaenow]

Nightmares come in all shapes and sizes.

[justmaenow]

#Spotify

[justmaenow]

crazy what a calm voice will make her do

[justmaenow]

I cleaned my room and put up a new curtain yet I still feel the burden of existence 🫠

[justmaenow]

In public trying not to dissociate.

[justmaenow]

This shit just so dumb.

[justmaenow]

I’d rather just be completely alone in solitude with no emotional attachments versus feeling so close to somebody just for them to leave out the blue, because that’s an indescribable pain.

Actually, I can describe it.

It feels like my heart is going to implode with every beat from the pain. There’s literally a new and individual ache with every new thump. Like the last heartbeat didn’t hurt me enough. My stomach feels like it’s going to fall out of my ass, because it feels full and empty at the same time. I feel sick, and all my energy goes into keeping myself going. Things that excite me suddenly have no meaning, and a world that was colorful yesterday suddenly becomes black and white and shades of grey….. I hate waking up in the morning.. I hate having to exist in the world pretending that I’m okay with being there because it doesn’t matter if I’m not.. but the worst part is the memories that used to give you butterflies suddenly feeling like attacks, daggers coming from your own brain reminding you of what you lost and leaving you wishing for that feeling again but knowing it’s not coming back……

So yeah, it’s not better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I’ll take no love over temporary love any day.

[justmaenow]

Damn g, every time.

It’s my fault for getting excited when things happen because somewhere in my broken soul remains a slither of hope waiting to be burnt out by hellfire like the rest of it.

[justmaenow]

It’s still not, and it still hurts.

Sometimes I wish I don’t hate to exist.. but nothing ever goes the way I want it to…

[justmaenow]

Sleep is supposed to be my escape but lately that shit been tormenting me just as much…

[justmaenow]

People be worried about the wrong shit like life ain’t short as fuck.