justornamental

[justornamental]

[justornamental]

Ocean’s 8 (2018) dir. Gary Ross

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[justornamental]

emily prentiss: fully trained fbi agent, formerly of interpol, knows perfectly well how to handle herself

me, watching karl arnold talk to her: i’m going to reach through the screen and strangle you if you even so much as touch her, i swear to god

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okay but why the hell did edward ask emmett and jasper for sex advice in breaking dawn when it seems like clearly the denali sisters would have way more helpful information about human/vampire sex risk management?? au where they make him a powerpoint

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i always assumed she lived in an apartment that was one floor of a brownstone? i don't know if they do that in dc but in other places a lot of expensive apartments are in really nice old houses

Ooh maybe!! This is a good theory!!

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maybe this is just the ‘growing up relatively poor’ speaking but like why do some people like NEED disneyland to be open to simulate an area where they can enjoy themselves. just grab a popsicle from the gas station and go hop around on some abandoned piles of concrete behind the softball pitch smh

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[justornamental]

So since smeyer says the pack aren’t “real” werewolves...

What if the whole “vampire” thing is only half-true? Like, what if they’re actually all dhampirs or something?

Hear me out on this:

The real vampires are very few and far between, like <20 or so in the whole world

Real vampires are so genetically different from humans that it was an absolute fluke of nature that a dhampir was born in the first place

Only dhampir venom can change others; real vampire venom is toxic

Like, chomp-chomp-dead

(maybe a super powerful neurotoxin? blue ringed octopi, anyone?)

All the powers that various vampires (dhampirs and their sired) are just snippets of the power that real vamps have

Being able to be in the sun is a dhampir thing; real vampires burn (maybe crystallize and explode, even?)

As to the whole “super pretty” thing, maybe it’s an echo of real vamps who aren’t even the colors we perceive as human, but are brilliant and attractive shades of vibrant colors?

Or, going off some recent scientific discoveries, maybe they’re all very dark-skinned with UV patterns that are vibrant and elegant and beautiful? So daytime folk won’t see them coming, but nighttime creatures see them and are called/warned?

And real vampires are super powerful–elemental control, telepathy, empathic abilities, future sight, shielding, the list is like a mile long they’re so op’d

They’re so unknown because they can alter your perception of them, change your memories, etc.

Lmao imagine the slap to the face it would’ve been for the Volturi if a real vampire showed up in BD because “you guys are causing a scene. Does the word “satellite” mean nothing to you?” And just absolutely shown the Volturi and the collected witnesses/Cullens all the way up

Like, the clouds suddenly and inexplicably cover the sky so thickly it’s almost dark as nighttime, the wind goes still, the animals fall silent, and this person emerges from the woods looking fucking pissed

“This mess? What you’re all doing here? This is the exact opposite of a low profile. Find a warehouse or something but for fuck’s sake it’s broad daylight you ill-mannered spittoons. If I have to go retcon an entire military board’s memories because you couldn’t settle this civilly I will make you all suffer.”

The absolute terror that that being something easy and mundane enough to be annoying evokes in the Volturi those bitches are shaking

idk feel free to add more but like real vampires

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but can you imagine if bella and edward were like “ok we’re going on an amazonian wilderness retreat we’ll be back in like four years!!” because time doesn’t matter to vampires but they left at the end of 2015 and they’re only JUST getting back i s2g

carlilse and esme are on covid frontlines because it doesn’t affect them

alice won a lot of bets because she saw it coming

jasper and rosalie are helping protect protestors

emmett “it all started when they shot the fucking gorrilla” 

#twilight #twilight renascence #twilight renaisance #edward cullen #bella swan #alice cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #twilight rewrite #twilight imagine #jasper hale #Rosalie Hale

[justornamental]

Bad bitches that got screwed over because people equated their self worth to egocentrism

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yes this is canon

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i’m not your fucking mary sue

[justornamental]

honestly i’ll only ever be a fucking dumb kid to you and that’s why it’s not going to work i’m sick and FUCKING TIRED of being treated like shit by you to have you excuse it by being ‘hurt’ like FUCK OFF THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY ANYTHING I’M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU 

[justornamental]

Ok but when some weird egirl looks up all 'renessmee's and figures out y'all 300 you still gonna think naming her that was smart huh?

#twilight renaissance #twilight rewatch #twilight rant #twilight #bella swann #edward cullen #edward #rosalie hale #emmett #alice cullen #jasper hale #team edward #team jacob #renesmee and jacob #renesmee cullen #renesmee was a stupid name

[justornamental]

getting an idea for a new fic in the middle of a fic is certain death for the current fic and that’s why my ff is a graveyard 

[justornamental]

canon bella in twilight would have not wanted to have a baby or be a mother so young because of her traumatic childhood, sorry smeyer