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justsomeimagine · 4 years

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Bucky

She was walking down the pavement contemplating what her next step would be, if she’d even dares to really go this far. Her mind races in a pace possible faster than she’d ever imagine to get, like a train, even unbeknownst to her. What does this all mean? Shouldn’t the pain be long forgotten?

The mind of one takes you to places that no one would like to admit sometimes. Events from a lifetime long ago of hers flashing in front of her eyes. Rarely something, such as these moments, catch up again but the emotions that come with it, will always haunt her mind. Too much suffering to remember…

So much is happening at once and the thought of falling back into the old pattern just makes her too anxious. Too long has she fought her demons of the past and in her head to let it all come crashing back down on her. Heart beats fast to provide the panicking brain to function even though every cell in her body want to shut down.

Noises that were shut out come slowly back to her ears, as if her body was telling her to listen to something. Breath in, ring -ring, breath out. In between breaths she realizes something is vibrating and making loud sounds. Hastily she reaches for her phone and answers the call without bothering to look whom it might be. The voice reaches though her speaker on the phone but fights its way to her brain only dull, like she feels at the moment.

Trying to understand what the other person is saying to her makes it all the harder to comprehend what she is felling. ‘… Sorry to just call you but feel like you should know’, too many noises around her that possibly distract her from fully hearing what’s being told through the phone. Abruptly stopping in the middle of the way in hopes to understand better, ‘Bucky is dead.’

Breath tangled up somewhere in between her lungs and throat refusing to get anywhere else. ‘What did you just say?’, she knows the answer to her question but she couldn’t hold back the words slipping past her parted lips. Only a very quiet buzzing is heard on the line which indicates her that no one hung up. ‘I- I’m sorry to just drop that out of the blue... I- ah didn’t know when and how the best time would have been but I figured there is no such thing as getting the right moment.’

Opening the front door of the flat she shares with her family feels awfully heavy around this time, since when is this door so hard to open? One foot after the other, is the only way she keeps herself going but distantly she realizes that she’s arrived at the door to her room. What now, what’s supposed to happen now? Logically seen she knows that she has to open the door to her room but, is she really in the right state of mind. Limbs dangling besides her felling as if they have an own mind and refuse to move an inch.

Is she going to stand there for however long? Maybe. Or maybe not. Mind not made up yet the white wooden door stretches out in front of her as if she’s getting smaller by the second or is the door just getting larger? Ready to face the loneliness that awaits her past this doorframe? Maybe.

In a blur the day passes by and she is faced with the extreme task to break it down to her parents. Phone is on silent for hours now, she knows that people will be worried but she can’t be bothered a bit about it. What does it matter anyway, no one knows what she is going through and even if she tells her friends they will never understand. Slowly she’s getting up from her bed in which, she’s been sitting in for what feels like eternity. Her stiff limbs are waking up again and there is nothing else she more than desperately wants to do then run away.

Build up tension and energy flowing through her and suddenly she can’t stop pacing around. Lungs expands and widen themselves in her ribcage, she can do this, doesn’t know how but she has to.

#death #steve rodgers x reader #bucky barnes #loki of asgard #thor odinson #mcufam #mcu #tvd fandom #supernatural family #henry cavill #the originals #mikaelsonfamily #peter parker #tom hiddleston #tom holland #tom hardy #alfie solomons #bucky barns x reader

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justsomeimagine · 4 years

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Them

A touch lingering longer than needed. As the years passed what had started as simple flirting had become a habit; something both got used to by the time they hit their mid-twenties.

Everyone was sure they knew how much they loved each other but they were to close to the occurrence.

The closer the people the more oblivion they are.

His hand was resting on top of hers, still deep in thoughts she missed his longing look wich was as clear as the deepest ocean. Soft strokes from his thumb are flowing through her body, distracting her from the rushed thoughts she so deeply is in.

‚What are you thinking about, you were out for at least 10 minutes.‘

Eyes travelling up and down his face and memorise all the details of his skin. He looks cleaner than usual but she of curse knows its because of his new job he started a couple of days ago, that is what she believes it is.

It’s been a while since she looked at him properly but the more time passes the more she feels overwhelmed with her feelings for him.

All she wants at this point is to get over him, but the more she denies it the more she falls.

‚Ho-ww is your job going? Do they treat you right?‘

He knows why she is doing this, a question for a question avoiding the topic.

A sigh leaves his lips ‚Can‘t complain, they’re all so nice to me. I think they still treat me like a newbie because some of them feel a little threatened.‘

Hands are turning until they’re intertwined, a light squeeze let‘s him know she is getting what he‘s implying.

The calmness flows freely between them not knowing what they do to each other.

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justsomeimagine · 4 years

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justsomeimagine · 4 years

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Hollow

The sun sets and a bird`s whistle die‘s down. A day comes to an end but nothing ever felt so alive, when the night comes knocking at your door.

When you sit down on your bed and you feel yourself slipping away and the numbness coaxes you in, in a steady rhythm. Everything becomes too much but yet again you hardly feel it.

Doubt‘s and regrets clouding your mind like you have never experienced a stormy night. Cut off from everything you switch to standby mode, till you feel the tears dripping down on your hands.

With shaking hands you try to remove the evidence of your own weakness but you are far beyond the point of caring. The negativity blows though you, like a hollow ruin.

It reaches every corner even when you thought its fairly protected by a thick wall wich was build brick by brick over the years.

It’s the darkest night you can ever imagine even tho, when you look at the clock and realise its twelve in the afternoon it doesn’t matter because your mind is wrapped up underneath the whole mess your mind is in.

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justsomeimagine · 4 years

Text

Them

A touch lingering longer than needed. As the years passed what had started as simple flirting had become a habit; something both got used to by the time they hit their mid-twenties.

Everyone was sure they knew how much they loved each other but they were to close to the occurrence.

The closer the people the more oblivion they are.

‚What are you thinking about, you were out for at least 10 minutes.‘

It’s been a while since she looked at him properly but the more time passes the more she feels overwhelmed with her feelings for him.

All she wants at this point is to get over him, but the more she denies it the more she falls.

‚Ho-ww is your job going? Do they treat you right?‘

He knows why she is doing this, a question for a question avoiding the topic.

A sigh leaves his lips ‚Can‘t complain, they’re all so nice to me. I think they still treat me like a newbie because some of them feel a little threatened.‘

Hands are turning until they’re intertwined, a light squeeze let‘s him know she is getting what he‘s implying.

The calmness flows freely between them not knowing what they do to each other.

17 notes · View notes