jxbsbokuto

[jxbsbokuto]

chibi doodle commission for @mystic-lodi!

commission info

[jxbsbokuto]

need you, daddy

pairing: dilf!bokuto x fem!reader

warnings: age gap, mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, breeding, praising, daddy kink, manhandling, rough sex, mentions of pregnancy.

word count: 2.7k

ao3

author's note: this is an old oneshot from my deleted NSFW blog, dirtyjxbs

dilf!bokuto who forgot to date someone because of his focus on his career, especially when he was getting ready to retire.

it’s been so long since he’s been in someone’s bed and it’s killing him. he blames it on his job, and maybe it was, but the main reason is his insecurities.

bokuto doesn’t have the defined abs he had in his early twenties, now the muscles blend with the small fat of his ‘dad body’.

he often finds spots of flaccid skin around his hips and he hates it. his hard chest is now soft and flabby (a perfect pillow ff you ask me), he misses his old athletic body.

even with a special workout program made by his friend iwaizumi, he still cannot go back to the way he was years ago.

and he can’t bring himself to take someone home when he looks like that.

but then, his daughter comes to visit during her college break with a friend she met on campus, who coincidentally lived in the same neighborhood as her yet they’ve never met before. and as you take your first steps into the bokuto household, koutarou is sure he’s fucked.

you’re so sweet and kind, extremely polite as you greet your friend’s father, but he could see there was something else behind your gaze.

after all, how could you not peak your interest in him when he's like that? welcoming you into his house so warmly, big grin on his face as he pulls you to a tight hug. wearing slightly tight briefs that give you a glimpse of how his shaft rests on his thigh, broad back moving under his shirt. it is hard to be satisfied with just watching.

he sees the way you side eye him as he cooks some snacks for y’all, subtly flexing his biceps a little more (cause he’s a show off). and he totally sees the mini skirt you wear when you come visit them the next day.

you bump into him when you go to the kitchen to get some soda, and press your chest on his to get through the space between the counter and the island, even though there’s enough space for both of you.

bokuto gulps as you bend over to take a better look at what’s in the bottom of his fridge, giving him a clear sight of your red lacy panties.

he chokes on his tea and he blushes as you turn around to face him, fake worry on your face and innocent eyes, asking if he was okay, acting as if nothing had happened.

a few days later, his kid goes to her mother’s house and he finds himself alone again. that is, until he hears a few knocks on the door.

you stand by his door frame with a pack of beer cans and a few snacks. he invites you in and you set yourselves in his living room. an unsaid knowledge of just why you're there falls into the air of his house as your eyes meet.

your body language says it all: legs crossed towards him, torso leaned to hear him better, hand brushing on his thigh every now and then.

and he wants to give you what you want, but he can't help but overthink.

you're a young, beautiful, and hot, girl, didn't you deserve a guy who's body could be just as good-looking as yours?

"you know, bokuto-san, it's really hard to find good boys out there." you say, fidgeting with the metal seal of your can. "most of the guys on campus are assholes."

"having boy problems, sweetheart?"

"yeah." you sigh. "i just- i need a mature man." you lock eyes with him, showing him slight puppt eyes under your long lashes. "i need someone who's able to take care of me, bokuto-san. 'm tired of spending so many nights alone, cold." he feels your hand crailing up his knee and suddenly the room starts to get a little hotter. "when akane told me you're alone too, i could barely believe it. how could such a handsome, lovely man not be with someone? i'm sure you also need a someone to take care of you too, bokuto-san."

your hand stops by the top of his thigh, dangerously close to his already half hard length. you lean in slowly, like a snake seducing its prey. bokuto finds himself hypnotized, totally devoted to your charms.

"so i thought, why don't we help each other out?"

you can see his expression of hesitation and somewhat fear, and it's amusing to see that big, strong man submitting to you so easily.

you slip your free hand up his shirt and brush your lips on his ear as you continue.

"tell me, bokuto-san, if i'm a good girl for you, will you be a good man for me too?"

koutarou can only gulp, he can't believe he's crumbling to a girl who's his daughter's age, yet, he can't deny the burning desire in his chest and pants.

"you don't know what you're messing with, sweetheart." he warns.

"i'm willing to find out... daddy."

you start to kiss his neck, climbing on his lap while you do so.

"shit..." you roll your hips back and forth softly, only making his erection harder.

you begin to pull his shirt out of him but he stops you. you look up to him and he avoids your gaze, however, you catch a glimpse of his reddish cheeks.

"no need to get shy on me, handsome." you say, delivering a kiss to his jaw.

he lets go of your hands and you take the cloth off him, displaying his scrumptious upper body. bokuto still keeps looking to the side, fearing you might change your mind now. but he's surprised as you let your hands wander around his body and return your attention to his neck, leaving hickeys and bites all over it.

"you're so sexy, daddy, fuck."

it's overwhelming, the feeling of your hot hands on his skin, the friction between your bodies, your lips on his neck, it's too much, and it's too good.

his hands find your waist and his head spins at how tiny it seems under his big hands. however it is short lasted as you take his wrists and guide him to grab your ass.

you whimper as he grops on it, pressing you harder on him.

"let me take care of you, daddy."

you lower your legs to kneel on the floor before him but he cups your cheeks before you do so. air is stolen from your lungs as he kisses you roughly, tongue deep in your mouth, exploring it. you kiss him back with just as much hunger, and moan against his lips as he completely dominates you.

the kiss that is rough but you can still feel some tenderness in it, like there’s something more to it than just lust.

you laugh under your breath when you pull away, still with a string of saliva connecting both lips. you give him one last peck before kneeling in front of him.

koutarou spreads his legs wider and you put your hands on his knees, then catch the band of his sport shots with your teeth.

"you're quite a tease, aren't you, doll?"

you smirk at the new pet name and pull his shots along with his underwear down. his throbbing dick slaps his abdomen, your eyes going wide and throat gulping as you acknowledge his size.

“oh, c’mon, don’t get shy on me now, sweetheart. wasn’t this what you wanted?” he smirks smugly. “i told you you didn’t know what you were messing with.”

koutarou leans in and catches your lips in another kiss while he guides you to stand on your knees.

“get on the coffee table, all in fours.” he mumbles against you.

you do as you’re told, pushing the snacks and beer cans away to make space. once you’re in position, bokuto folds your dress upwards so it’s sitting on your waist, and pushes your panties to the side. he presses his thumb in your entrance just slightly, then drags your precum along your folds, wetting your puffy cunt.

“what a preyty little pussy,” he hums, delivering little kisses to the swell of your ass. “wonder if daddy’s big cock is gonna fit in here.”

you start whimpering as he teases you, slowly stroking you and lazily rubbing your clit.

“d- daddy…” you whine, begging for more.

he licks a long stripe on your arousal, making you gasp at the sudden feeling. his thumb slips into your fluttering hole as he attacks your labia and clitoris.

koutarou eats you out like a starved man, and well, he is. the former ace’s always been more of a giver than a taker and he can’t remember the last time he had his face buried between someone’s legs, your sweet taste on his tongue only makes him more and more feral as the seconds passes by, he feels himself eager to make you scream just from his tongue.

“fuck, daddy! so good!”

your wetness drips down his chin and a little on his chest. the sounds echoing from his mouth and your stupidly wet cunt are hopelessly sloppy, echoing through the whole room.

he replaces his thrusting thumb with his tongue, fucking you with precision.

with one hand on your hips he keeps you still, and uses the other to stroke his pulsating dick.

“ah! daddy! gonna make me cum!”

he laughs at your whining. minutes ago you were acting tough all over him and now he can see your legs trembling.

bokuto lets go of his cock for a moment and grabs your hips with both hands, pressing you even harder on his mouth so he can taste you roughly.

your orgasm comes hard and without a notice you’re shaking and making a true mess on your friend’s father.

“fuck.” you mumble, struggling to keep yourself standing.

koutarou hugs your waist and pulls you to sit on his lap on the couch again, quickly taking your dress and panties off of you. he keeps a hand stroking your sensitive and swollen clit while the other bumps his length.

“i want you, need you, daddy.” you say, snuggling your face on his neck.

“let me grab a con-”

“no. I want it raw. I want to feel all of you.”

“are you sure, pretty?” you nod. "i need words."

you lower your hand to meet his and grasp his cock, running your hand up and down firmly.

"i am sure, papí. want to feel you inside me, can't you feel how wet i am for you?"

his hand catches your neck harshly, bringing you to a kiss.

"there's no coming back now, sweetheart."

you lift yourself and align his dick on your entrance, then place both hands on his shoulders. he spreads your thighs and slowly thrusts upwards, stretching your walls as your nails dig on his skin.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, daddy! 's so big."

"shit." bokuto closes his eyes shut as he bottoms out, feeling out of air as you clamp on him so tight he can't move an inch. “so fucking tight.”

his mind gets foggy, it almost hurts how much he wants to ram into you without worrying about anything else but painting your soft insides white. he stays still for a while, allowing you to get used to his size and him to tune down his hunger.

after a few minutes, koutarou starts to pull out and you look down to where your bodies meet. you start to feel empty as his tip is the only thing you left inside you.

he thrusts in roughly and unwarningly and a loud moan escapes your lips. your fingers tangle themselves on his black and white strands, pulling them back as pleasure takes over your core.

bokuto pulls out slowly, but pushes himself in quickly, stealing lewd sounds from you and your sweetly welcoming hole.

“this pussy’s perfect, one of the best i ever had.” he groans and you blush at the praise. “daddy’s cock fits perfectly, doesn’t it?” you hum in affirmation, unable to speak since each thrust of his steals the air from your lungs.

he picks up his pace, turning you into nothing but a moaning mess. his body is hot under yours and the way your tiddies bounce in unison with his movements makes his head spin.

“‘m gonna cum.” he warns.

his hips start to stutter a bit and you move your own body up and down, meeting his thrusts.

“cum inside me, papí. want your load. wanna make you a daddy again.”

“oh, fuck it.”

koutarou throws away anything that was holding him back.

he lifts you out of him and throws you to the side, landing in your elbows and knees in the leather couch.

you turn your head back to question him but you’re roughly pushed back to the couch. his calloused hand is wrapped around your neck, pushing you down as he suddenly starts to fuck you from behind.

“you want me to fill this pretty pussy? want to carry my babies?” the sound of skin clapping must be echoing in the whole house now, along with your screams of pleasure. “i’ll knock you up so good you’ll feel my cum in your tummy for days.”

bokuto hits your soft walls with precision, kissing your cervix and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. you start to clench around him, bringing both of you closer to your climaxes.

“daddy!”

you squirm and shake under him creaming around his dick. he moans at the sensation and he fucks your cum back inside you without direction. all it takes is a few more thrusts and he's cumming deep inside you.

he looks down to see the absolute mess you two made. your juices drip down his balls and thighs, he pulls out slowly to see even more of his white load slipping out of your fluttering cunt.

the sight is mesmerizing, he thinks, but it's still not enough.

he takes the cum with his fingers and push it back into you. you whimper as he does so, only indulging the feeling in his twitching dick.

bokuto turns you to lay on your back and pushes your legs to your chest in a matting press, taking no time to align his hard cock to your entrance again.

he shoves himself inside you in the same crazy pace as before, lips brushing against yours as he mumbles about how good you feel.

after a while, you can't remember how many times you came, all you can feel is his load making your thighs sticky, the sensitivity in your whole body and your lips pulsating.

"just one more, sweetheart, let me fill your needy cunt just once more." this is probably the third time he said it would be the last. you can't even find it in yourself to say something, you definitelydon't want to deny him but a little break would be good. "you're doing so good, little girl. you look the prettiest like this." he says between kisses.

the more he fucked into you, the more sweet and tender he became, not with his dick, of course, but with his words and kisses. he made you feel precious, pretty, special even, and you figure there must be way more to your friend's father than just a big shaft and hot body.

bokuto wipes the tears off your face with small pecks, slightly smiling when he feels your arms and legs wrap around him in a tight hug.

"there, there, sweetie." he coos. "relax, you did so good. c'mon."

he grabs your underwear from the side and slips it in your legs, then gently taps your now covered pussy, as if congratulating it for its hard work.

he picks you up in his arms, takes you upstairs to his room, and lays you gently on the bed. he goes back downstairs to get you some water then joins you in his king side mattress.

koutarou holds you close to his chest, rubbing your back up and down and massaging your sore and bruised skin. he falls asleep a little after you do, satisfied to know that once he wakes up, not only your pussy will still be dripping his seed but he'll be able to fuck it back into you all over again.

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[jxbsbokuto]

Spy x Family X Howl’s Moving Castle

#oh my god i'm in love with this #i love loiyor

[jxbsbokuto]

more 80s au

[jxbsbokuto]

Prince Kuroo here to steal your heart💖💖

Commission for @/tiaroxxz on ig!!

Thank you for everyone's patience so far!! I've recovered now and can finally continue working on them!! I'll try to get them out as soon as I can but in the meantime hope everyone has a warm cozy and wonderful holiday season!! 😊😊

[jxbsbokuto]

୧┈₊˚. WELCOME TO JUBS' STUDIO !!

꒰ ⁰⁰¹ WHAT ABOUT MY STUDIO? ꒱

⨳ MY LABEL ⨳ TERMS OF USE ⨳ PLAYLISTS ⨳ FAN Q&A

꒰ ⁰⁰² WHO'S ON THE LABEL? ꒱

౨ৎ . . . signed artists

꒰ ⁰⁰³ WHAT HAS BEEN POPPING? ꒱

cold lips and warm kisses | hinata shoyo

now and forever | hinata shoyo

hello kitty band-aids | iwaizumi hajime

꒰ ⁰⁰⁴ WHAT’S IN PRODUCTION? ꒱

౨ৎ . . . wips

© @JXBSBOKUTO 2022 -> do not repost, copy or plagiarize my work on tumblr or any other site.

#navigation.

[jxbsbokuto]

[jxbsbokuto]

Attractive things the Haikyu men do - Part 2

Characters: timeskip Atsumu / Kuroo / Daichi / Kageyama / Sakusa / Bokuto x gender neutral reader

Notes: A collection of things they do or habits they have that are sexy/attractive. Pretty self-explanatory lol (and soft!). Part 1 is here. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

Atsumu Miya

Atsumu probably has no idea what he does to you, sitting in front of you like that. His muscular thighs are spread, his large hands casually laying on the rests of the armchair.

You gulp, trying to tear your eyes away from his imposing figure. But you’re unable to. He just looks too good tonight, all dressed up, his black suit clinging perfectly to his body.

His hazel eyes find yours. Your eyes widen in surprise when you realize he caught you staring. His lips curl into a smug smirk. He hums absentmindedly, not even listening as Osamu continues to talk with him.

Atsumu slightly sits up, adjusting his trousers. His gaze doesn’t leave yours in the process.��You feel your cheeks growing hot, your heart beating loudly in your chest. 

You avert your gaze, not being able to maintain the intense eye contact any longer. You don’t even have to look at him to know that a big shit-eating grin is plastered on his face. And you also know that he's going to tease you about this the whole ride back home.

Tetsurou Kuroo

You look up, your bleary eyes fixing on the man working across from you. The office is dimly lit, the light reflecting off of his black and messy hair.

It’s pretty late, but you two know you have to get this work done today. You have no choice. But there could be worse things than being stuck with Kuroo, you muse as you gaze at him. 

He doesn’t notice you staring, so you let yourself have this moment. His hand is buried in his ruffed-up hair, a slight frown on his face as he scans over the documents. You watch his large hands flip through the pages before he leans back. 

He lets out a long, tired sigh, resting his head against the chair. You swallow against the dryness in your mouth as you watch him move. His slender fingers work; loosening his tie, the small motion so effortless. Yet it intrigues you more than you’d ever care to admit.

Daichi Sawamura

The warmth of his large hand seeps through the thin fabric of your dress. You swear, his hand was meant to rest on the small of your back as if it was carved for him. 

You gulp, trying to concentrate on the conversation unfolding in front of you but in all honesty - you can’t. Especially now that his thumb rubs small circles onto you, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. 

Daichi probably thinks this little movement soothes you, although it has the opposite effect. You swallow hard against the dryness forming in your mouth before you turn your head. 

You watch his side profile, noticing the large smile laying on his lips. His deep voice rings in your ears although you can’t catch the meaning of his words. He’s handsome, of course, he is. But with his hand on your back, guiding you through the crowd, his protective, if not possessive, hands on you - you swear you’ve never found him more attractive.

Tobio Kageyama

“I thought that maybe we could…” Your unfinished sentence hangs in the air, as you watch Kageyama’s hands gliding along the steering wheel.

He puts the car in reverse before he turns his head, looking through the rear window. You stay silent as you observe him doing so. Your eyes glide along his features, noticing the concentrated expression on his face and the sharp cut of his jawline. You ogle his arm, noticing his biceps straining against his shirt.

Kageyama places his hand behind your seat. His fingertips slightly brush against the back of your neck, causing you to shudder. You hold your breath, only exhaling when he’s done. His dark blue eyes search for your gaze.

“What were you saying?” He asks, oblivious to the feeling he caused to rise in you. You don’t have an answer to his question. Your thoughts are now circling around, well, other things. 

Kiyoomi Sakusa

Sakusa usually wakes up before you. That’s why you feel incredibly grateful that you get to see him like this, still sleeping soundly next to you. You know it is only a matter of minutes before he will wake up so you cherish that you can quietly observe him now. 

You take in the sight of him, warmth spreading in your chest. His eyes are closed softly, his breath is falling steadily and his curls hang messily into his face.

You stroke the strand of hair out of his face, admiring the two little moles on his forehead. You don’t know how long you watch him before he awakes.  

You look at him as he slowly peels his eyes open, his gaze slowly clearing and fixing on you. He lazily smiles upon meeting your gaze. 

“Were you staring at me?” He inquires drowsily, his voice barely above a whisper. The sound of his deep, raspy morning voice makes your insides twist. 

“Hm?” You pretend not to have heard him, just to hear his voice once more.

A small smile stretches across his face. You melt at the sight. Oh, how you love him. 

Koutarou Bokuto

Bokuto is, usually, a happy and cheerful person. So it doesn’t surprise you that he loves to hum to himself, to sing loudly in the shower, or quietly to himself when he cooks. 

But what surprises you is how attractive it makes him to you. You’re not sure how to explain it, the effect it has on you, the way it makes your heart flutter and your cheeks flush. Maybe it’s the contrast between his strong, buff figure, and the soft sounds dropping from his lips. 

When you get home from work and he is already at home, you stand there quietly in the frame of the kitchen, just for a minute, to hear him singing absentmindedly, as he chops up some vegetables. 

You’ve never told him how you like it. And you’re not sure if you ever will, considering that telling him that he is a pretty good singer will only go to his head. 

So you just wait until he notices you standing there, watching his expression lighten up upon his eyes meeting you. 

©sweetdreamlandstuff

[jxbsbokuto]

making them dancing axé feat. kuroo, bokuto, daichi, nishinoya, atsumu

tags: latina fem! reader, headcanons

note: woaah this my first hq hcs ;; hope u like it

kuroo

Dancing is not really his thing and presenting him with a rhythm so different from what he is used to only makes his life more difficult.

He tries anyway because you are so happy dancing that you end up spreading his mood.

It doesn't really go well for him but it's impossible not to feel that serotonin pump when the song ends. It was as much fun as a volleyball game.

His heart swells even more with happiness as he watches you dance carefree about life.

"Please give me a break" he says to you exhausted after trying to keep up with you for about five songs.

bokuto

He loved the axé so much when you introduced him to it that it became his morning warm-up routine before he left for training.

He learns pretty quickly and you end up being the one who can't keep up with him, so sometimes you come back to lead the choreography anyway.

Sometimes he gets you up so early to join him to warm up with axé that you tend to think "at what point did I think this was a good idea?", still once you're fully awake you enjoy it and are grateful to have a boyfriend to share your hobby with.

"Please put Tchakabum on again!" he begs you when they stop to rest.

daichi

He really wasn't used to this and was embarrassed to have such clumsy feet to coordinate with the music.

You patiently taught him your favorite choreographies, although sometimes your boyfriend would get very self-conscious about some moves.

He picks up the rhythm little by little, but if he has to be honest, he enjoys watching you dance much more.

As time goes by he manages to overcome the modesty and it becomes his favorite pastime to do at home with you. He learned from you that once in a while dancing carefree really helps him get through a heavy day.

nishinoya

He also got along quite well with the axé, to the point where he unconsciously competed with you to see who could finish the choreography without making a mistake.

The laughs were definitely not lacking.

"Please let's dance!" is a dialogue that became recurrent from him.

You discovered that he had even put together an axé playlist that he listened to constantly.

Your favorite moment is when you watch your boyfriend out of the corner of your eye and catch the moment when he is really happy dancing next to you.

atsumu

At first he was not convinced by the idea of dancing axé and told you that he would think about it before giving you an answer.

The truth is that he did some research on what you were talking about and discovered that it is a very popular genre of music and dance in Latin America.

Of course he agreed if it meant that it elevated his status over other guys in your eyes.

You taught him very excitedly and he took mental notes of every move you made. It was a little slow to acclimate to the rhythm, but he was finally able to get it.

There were some choreographies that were difficult for him purely because he was embarrassed.

He promised you that he would learn everything backwards and forwards, but you had to calm him down and tell him to just do it because he felt like it.

After dancing you made up for it with a couple of kisses, which became his favorite part of your routine.

[jxbsbokuto]

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[jxbsbokuto]

TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE (suna x reader)

cw: implied AFAB reader (baby bump), lots of mentions of pregnancy & parenthood, doctors office talk, i think reader is referred to as mom twice ?? expecting-dad!suna, slightly suggestive bc he’s annoying. you know i’ve officially locked in a character when i start writing parent content for them LMFAO

The plush chair of the doctor’s office is surprisingly comfortable, or maybe it’s the fact that your body aches with a soreness that can’t be relieved for another 6 months.

It’s not your first time making yourself cozy in the chair, nor is it your husband’s first time sitting beside you, palms locked together as he mindlessly rubs circles to your knuckles. 

However, it is your first time being this big at a doctor’s appointment, now approaching your second trimester and growing by (what feels like) the second.

The pressure in your back slightly fades with the support of the pillowy examination chair. Between it’s relieving comfort and Suna’s relaxing touches, you almost find yourself drifting off to sleep while waiting for the obstetrician. 

Lucky you, Suna’s voice lures you back to reality.

“If it’s a girl, you owe me twenty bucks,” he mumbles against your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to the cold back of your palm. As his tongue briefly swipes the skin, he faintly tastes the hand sanitizer you used after entering the room.

He grins when you tsk at his comment before reminding him, “We are not betting money on the sex of our child.”

He sighs in faux disappointment before pretending to mull over your empty scold. “Fine, if it’s a girl…you have to blow me,” he settles on, looking rather pleased with the compromise. 

“That’s what got us pregnant in the first place, Rin.”

“Technically, no. What got us pregnant was when you—”

“And if it’s a boy?” you’re quick to cut off whatever crude memory weighs heavy on his tongue. 

Keep reading

#♪ too good to keep to myself: rintarou

[jxbsbokuto]

i miss my babies

[jxbsbokuto]

Episode 2 let’s gooo

[jxbsbokuto]

staying warm

[jxbsbokuto]

GO READ THIS MASTERPIECE RIGHT NOW!!!

IT HURTS BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD😩😩😩😩

HEAVEN AND EARTH CAN’T SAVE ME NOW (7.4K)

SYNOPSIS: suna cheats on you, or that’s what you think.

CW: major angst, swearing, established relationship, cheating.

MORE: there will be no part two. i really did hurt myself writing this. sometimes i think about a part two and then i can’t think of what it could be.

you were walking across the cold streets laughing on the phone with your mum as you made your way to the jeweller after finishing up work at the office. 

“Mum! don’t say that, i don’t know that he even wants to marry me.” you chuckle out

“haah? of course he wants to marry you, have you seen yourself? not only that, that boy is infatuated with you. I see it in his eyes.” 

“yeah well i wouldn’t know, he brushes the topic off whenever its brought up.” you mutter as your mood turns sour, remembering how distant suna has been these past couple of weeks. 

“he’s probably avoiding the topic so that it’ll be a true surprise when he proposes.” 

“sure mum, we’ll go with that.” as you stand at the crosswalk across the jeweller, momentarily looking up and that’s when you saw him. you weren’t expecting it, to be honest but at the same time maybe deep down you knew that you were never good enough for him. you were standing on the opposite street watching as ur lover, or ex-lover now? you watched as he smiled with her, as he lovingly caressed her cheek, as they sat a little too close to be called just friends. 

“oi? are you even listening to me? did you reach the jeweller? hello? ah the stupid connection i swear! y/n sweetie i can’t hear you.” 

your mother’s voice rang out momentarily breaking your trance as you watched him with the girl sitting at the cafe. 

“ah, I’m here. I’ll call you later, I reached the jeweller.” 

You usually didn’t take this route home, you usually didn’t walk down this path on your way back, but you were heading to a jeweller in this area that coincidentally fell right next to a cafe. It was christmas time and suna had been speaking about wanting a piece of jewellery with the stone, obsidian, to represent his time at inarizaki and you had found a jeweller that was willing to make a custom piece with that specific stone. 

Now here you were picking up the ring, and that cafe next to the jeweller was the same cafe that you were now watching as your boyfriend was on a date? with another woman? you honestly don’t even know if you were processing the information in your head properly. all you knew was that your ears were ringing, and your mind was racing. you felt your heart breaking and beating quicker the more you watched. but there was this sinking feeling within you, something that felt like you were drowning from the inside out. 

What were you even supposed to do? 

you decided against interrupting his date, instead sticking to the plan that was rapidly forming in your head. 

grab the ring. 

head home. 

pack your things. 

wait for taro suna. 

tell him to be happy with her. 

leave. 

move on.

luckily when you walked to the jeweler he hadn’t noticed you. you entered and greeted the man. He brought out the specially carved ring for him. a fox, a tibetan sand fox to be specific. 

“as you recall from our agreement, because this is custom we won’t be offering a refund.” 

“yes, of course” 

“Is this for your boyfriend?

you froze as you pulled out your card to pay. 

“yeah. yeah it’s for him.” you stuttered out.

“What a lovely gift! I did my hardest to create the idea you had in mind and wanted to do your idea justice. You must be truly in love with him. He is very lucky to have you.” you feel another piece of your heart chip off, another brick added to the wall you were slowly building. 

you just nodded before grabbing the box and your card and thanking him on the way out. You thought you were in the clear as you left the store, but it was an accident when you caught suna’s eyes. your eyes widened slightly. shit. he looks slightly perplexed and ready to rush after you but you don’t give him time. In an instant you turn your head and walk at an unnatural pace towards the train station. losing yourself in the crowd as you get on your train to head home. you see a familiar bob of brown as the train disappears through the tunnel. you find a seat and catch a breath as the moments from before replay in your head. 

she laughed at something he said and a small smile played on his face as he silently watched her laugh. 

he poked her in the side causing her to lean forward in an attempt to stop him from tickling. 

He pecked her cheek as she was talking about something.When was the last time you kissed him? When was the last time he kissed you? 

she leaned against his shoulder, slightly caressing his cheek.you thought he hated to be touched, even though he said his love language was touch, even though he was always touchy with everyone else, even though he was touchy at the start of your friendship at the start of your relationship, yet he always shifted away from you when you wanted to cuddle, keeping you at a distance but an arm around your waist nonetheless. 

he tucked her hair behind her ear as she brought the drink to her lips. 

he smiled as he watched her animatedly talk about something. Did he ever smile at you like that? never in public, barely in private, you always just said it was because he had an expressionless face. You were always making excuses.

dark hair. porcelain skin. beautiful eyes. beautiful body. a beautiful laugh. 

Everything you wished you were. Everything that you were always insecure about.  

you felt a couple tears fall into your lap as you notice the card that was attached to the bag 

Merry Christmas baby x can’t wait to spend forever with you &lt;3. 

As soon as they were there, they were gone. The few droplets of tears carried all the emotion you felt in the past 15 minutes. The wall was finished. There was nothing left for you to give anymore. You had given him everything and the saddest part about it is if you were asked “would you do it all over again?” you would give him everything again. You would spend every moment, every memory, every second with him again.

 As you got off the train to make the walk back to your shared house everything in your head was spinning and all you could think of were the softest moments between you two. 

…

you awoke to him kissing all over your face. 

“good morning my love. let’s have a good day today, yeah?” as he continued to kiss you all over your face, your neck, your body. 

… 

“baby it’s raining!” you heard him holler from down stairs. 

“yes! I can see that! what about it?” 

“Come dance with me in the rain sweetheart!” 

…  

“you are more than enough for me darling, don’t let some rando on the internet say anything that makes you believe otherwise” 

he held you softly but tightly as you continued to cry from the hate you were receiving after announcing your r/s to the world.

… 

“ugh taro get off me! you’re heavy” 

“But i’m tired and you’re comfy.” he mumbled into your neck 

“Okay, but you are suffocating me.” 

“play with my hair?”

“tarooooo!!!!!” you groaned

“y/nnnnnnnnn!!!!!” he groaned back

“Fine, but I’ll be pushing you off if I need to pee.” as you card your fingers through his hair 

“hmm” 

… 

“You did this all for me?” 

as you looked at the picnic on the beach, there were petals scattering the surrounding area, the sun barely setting in the back. 

he grabbed your hands pulling you close and tilting your face to face his. 

“Darling, I would move heaven and earth for you.” 

… 

“doll? you awake?” as he played with the small strands of your hair 

“hm,” you mumble into his chest as a response. 

“I wanted to let you know I love you.”

you raise your head, looking at him perplexed. 

“what.” it barely comes out as a whisper 

“I love you. a lot.” 

“Say it again, rin, please. so I know I’m not dreaming.” 

“i love you y/n l/n. you and only you own my heart entirely.” 

… 

as you entered your house— god it wasn’t even an apartment it was a house because you guys wanted a family together— you were immediately intruded with his smell. The usual calming scent that would’ve brought you peace felt absurdly uncomfortable. It was like your mind was already erasing the moments together to numb the pain so that there was hope for you to fall in love again. But your heart had already built its walls. Heartbreak is usually felt in the chest, where a numbing sensation dawns and the entire inside of your body feels convulsing. Your heart is not used to that kind of phantom pain so it tries to release it in physical ways, puking, crying, yelling etc. While your heart was battling the pain that could be felt but could not be remedied with medicine your mind would look them all away, in a fortress surrounded by gates and large guards, keeping them secret for years to come. 

but now as you walked through the house that you built with him, it was your mind begging for release. it was your mind begging for the memories to go away. it was your mind begging for the pain to stop. it was your mind pleading for you to save it. And your heart? Your heart was so shattered that you couldn’t even tell if it was beating or not. The pieces were so small that they were barely noticeable. The tungsten wall that was built around it barely gave it enough room to breathe, it was suffocating but for some reason you didn’t mind the pain. 

you left the gift on the kitchen counter as you made your way up the stairs choosing to not look at the timeline of pictures from the start of your relationship till recently that decorated the walls. four years worth of pictures, they vary from the both of you traveling, to pictures from when the house was first in renovation, to all your firsts. you didn’t dare look because you didn’t want to know if you could see how uninterested he was in you.  you didn’t want to know if you could see the love fade from his eyes throughout the years. Quickly ascending the stairs you enter your shared closet pulling out the two suitcases you had used to pack your stuff from your previous apartment when the two of you had finished building your house and it was finally time to move in. 

every detail reminded you of him, every turn in the hallway, every wood panelling, every counter. you built this house from the ground up, quite literally. from the smallest details such as the door knobs on each door, to the marbled counters, to the balconies and outdoor space it was done together. there was not a place in the house that you could turn that didn’t hold its own memory. each wall art, each decor, each artefact from different places you visited together, everything down to the plates and the bowls and the cutlery that were in the drawers, to the placing of those cutlery in the kitchen you built together.

you quickly folded your clothes and placed them in your suitcase, manoeuvring like a robot. Quick. Calculated. Precise. When you were done with your clothes, you moved to your shoes, dumping those into a duffle bag before moving to the bathroom to grab your makeup and your hair products and dumping those into a big makeup bag and placing that in the same duffle as the shoes and zipping that up. you moved next to the winter clothes that were boxed and kept on the top most shelf in your closet. carefully getting it down, you emptied what was yours into the suitcase and placed the box back. 

you were careful to keep the clothes that were his but that you wore on a daily basis back on his side in the closet. you moved next to jewellery, putting rings in boxes and the same with necklaces before tucking those into the sides of your coat pockets. before zipping up the one suitcase that was filled. you moved to grab all the bags and accessories that you kept on a hanger and dumped that into another duffle and zipped it up. 

what else do you even pack from a house where all items were shared between the two? 

you moved to the office room, and packed up your laptop and notes and other important paperwork that you might need. placing those into your backpack neatly and carefully. moving to the night stand to grab the valuables that you kept with you at all times; letters,  cards, little knick knacks that you collected over the years. placing that into the second suitcase, then moving on to your chargers placing those in your backpack as well. you quickly moved downstairs to the laundry room before taking out the clean and dirty clothes, mixing them and placing them in a bag that would go in your suitcase to be washed wherever you ended up. you placed it in your second suitcase successfully zipping it up and carrying it down the stairs. you went back up and grabbed the other suitcase before bringing that down successfully as well. 

as you move up the stairs for the last time to grab the last two duffles and your backpack you hear the door open and shut. 

“y/n!” 

fuck, his voice was enough for your walls to come crashing down. 

you bounded up the rest of the stairs, grabbing the backpack from the bed and slinging the two duffles over your shoulder just as you were about to leave the room he came into view and the sight of him made your knees buckle and the brief thought of staying, of hearing him out floats through your head. you physically stutter as you take a step backwards as he moves closer to you. 

“baby- i- just wait a second please let me explain.” 

you were frozen in place, you felt him moving closer to you but you couldn’t move, you couldn’t even breathe. you could feel as his hands reached out to touch you and you promised you didn’t mean to flinch but you did and his hand retracted 

“please- please just don’t touch me.” it was barely even a whisper, you couldn’t even recognise your own voice. It was fragile, hoarse. Your throat felt like glass shards, you felt like you were choking. 

you felt like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders as the duffle bag slipped off your shoulder. you feel your knees begin to grow weak and so you reach out to grab the bed frame to steady yourself as you stumble against the bedside table and find yourself sitting against it, when you get a flash of a memory. 

“rin look at these tables, they are completely made out of tile and clay aren’t they sick? I mean look at this all black one?” 

rin looked over your shoulder as he finished building the coffee table that was now resting on a fresh rug in the living room. 

“wait, those are actually sick, we should get them for our bedroom. two so we can match.” he sends you a warm smile before placing a kiss on your cheek. 

your body moved naturally, shooting itself upright as though it had landed on hot metal and it was burning to touch. you moved again to grab the bags that were on the floor now, you needed to get out of here and you needed to get out of here right now. you move to walk past him but he goes to grab your arm but hesitates, instead opting to step in front of you. 

“please” he pleads 

“please just let me explain” 

“explain what? how do you explain this suna?” his heart burns hearing his last name from your lips. 

“how do you explain being with someone else? how can you look at me and expect me to understand? I love you. We built our life together, this house we built together too. I gave you everything that I had left in me, I showed you parts of me I have never shown anyone before, I let you in even when YOU knew about my fears. I was patient with you when you weren’t ready to let me in. Do you even remember that? our first few months together were hell, and I stuck them out FOR YOU, for US. and now you want to explain? explain what? that you love them? that it was an accident. that you didn’t mean for it to happen?that you’re sorry for me having to find out this way?”

you looked at him now and you heard the echo of the wall that you had built crashing. his eyes were red, blood shot even and there were tears, from the boy who was emotionless. Four years and you’d never seen him cry, not to the saddest movie, not when he was frustrated as hell from practise, not from any mental breakdown you’ve witnessed. But today, he stood before you with tears in his eyes. His dark circles prominent, his olive green eyes dark, pleading, empty. He looked like he was in pain, like this was genuinely painful for him to hear. good. you thought. 

“or are you gonna say that it was a mistake? that it was a one time thing? That she was a one time thing? can you honestly even say that? can you honestly look at me and tell me you still love me when I see the way you looked at her? The way you acted with her? can you honestly look at me and tell me she means nothing to you? i’m sorry that i didn’t notice the signs before, i’m sorry if i ever gave you a reason to make you not feel loved. i’m sorry that you thought you couldn’t tell me you had fallen out of love with me. but, please suna, just do us both a favour and not try and explain things. Go and be happy with them, yeah? treat her like she’s the world, go and move heaven and earth for her. sell this house and start over with her, let them love you in the ways i could never. you don’t have to worry anymore about me not knowing that you don’t love me anymore. it’s okay. just don’t for a moment worry about me, because i’ll be okay. i’ll always be okay.”  

You reach out to place a flat palm against his chest, to feel his heartbeat one last time. To feel him one last time, before you let the hand drop and you feel the door shut on love. You move to walk past him as you hear him say. 

“I love you, y/n. I always did.” 

“I’m sure you did.” you mutter before walking out the door, feeling your mind slowly numb to the bruises that were the memories. 

…. 

SUNA’S POV 

That day at the cafe changed everything in suna’s life. 

You will end your relationship with y/n 

Half of him did not know why he went along with r/n. He didn’t understand why he was sitting there flirting with a girl who meant nothing to him. He didn’t know why he indulged her to go to this cafe. He wasn’t processing his actions as he sat at that cafe and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. In all honesty, suna wanted to puke, terribly. His entire body felt disgusting as he flirted with the girl in front of him. All he could think of was how he wanted it to be y/n. 

My father owns the company she works at.  

Every flirtatious giggle, every brief touch between them, every single minute that he spent at that cafe his entire body was shaking with absolute rage for the woman in front of him. He didn’t have a choice though, he was put in a compromising position so he sucked it up and he did what he had to do. He saw y/n walking down the street. He saw their face drop when they saw what unfolded between the two of them. He saw them walk stupidly fast past them, doing their best to avoid eye contact. He felt every moment chip a piece of his heart away. 

If you don’t listen to me, I will end your career as a volleyball player. 

He knew that getting involved with a girl like r/n was trouble. He knew that from the first moment that she started pestering him. He knew that from the first dm he ignored, then from the constant pinging of his phone which was her notifications. Constantly badgering him, constantly wanting him to give her his attention, constantly wanting to be next to him, constantly needing him. Yet something about her piqued his interest. Something about the way she dressed, the way she held herself. The way her mind processed things, the way she held herself. So he indulged in one dm message from her.

From then on, he found himself talking with her daily. But he never wanted to pursue a relationship. He never wanted anything more than a friendship. He never talked flirty or engaged in her flirty techniques. He made it very clear he was in a relationship and he made it very clear he had no intention of cheating on y/n. But she had other plans, other ideas, other motives for them. Them. it was disgusting to even think that, that was even a thing. But here he was, sitting at a cafe pretending he was on a date with a girl that he had no interest in. Could he even fake being in love like that? 

He didn’t mean to make eye contact with them when they left the shop, but thats what he did and in that moment he thought fuck r/n and her threats. He knew where his happiness lied and he knew where he needed to be so he sprinted after her. Curse y/n and her fast walking pace. He felt his heart beating in his ears as he chased after her. He felt his heart chip as he saw the train doors shut. 

The world was spinning when he made it back to their house. His eyes were burning as he saw the packed bags, as he saw her sprint up the stairs. His chest tightened as she flinched at his touch. His legs felt weak as he watched her slowly break in front of him. He wanted to reach out and wrap them in his arms. Let them know that none of it was real. That there were no feelings for her, that it was all just a great elaborate plan. 

But he couldn’t, it was like he tried to voice his words all he could think of was how much he didn’t want to ruin your life even more than he already did. He felt like there was no way to forgive such actions. There was no way to explain what he had done. There was no way they would stand there and listen to what he had been asked to do, what he had been forced to do. No forgiveness would be shared, no happiness would be felt. All he could do was hear the pain in their voice and see them walk out of his life without a second glance. 

When they finally walked out the door, he felt himself collapse into shambles on top of their bed. He felt frozen in time for god knows how long till he feels his phone buzz rapidly in his pocket. He shifts slightly, pulling the phone out of his pocket to see r/n flashing on his screen. Begrudgingly, he picks up the phone, not a word spoken between them for the first few minutes before he hears her laugh and the rage that fills suna was unspeakable. 

“You think this is funny?” 

“I told you rin~ I always get what I want.” 

“Don’t call me that, you don’t have a right.”

She laughs again, “don’t worry you’ll end up falling in love with me eventually.” 

She laughs once more before she ends the call and suna is left in the quiet glass room with the remnants of a life he took for granted. He looks around the now empty room, every single thing they had built and decorated was a mix of their personalities. They had intertwined their lives and their wants, and their desires and the outcome was their house and now he is left with pieces, a fragmented glass fractured by his own doing. He sucked at emotions and he never thought he could love, but he found out he could with y/n because of y/n. 

Turns out now he could fake being in love as well. 

…

4 years later. 

you slipped your shoes off before placing them on the shoe rack in your new apartment. it wasn’t anything special and you knew you could afford way better, as in way better than this hole in the wall. but you just didn’t feel the need to buy a new one or even the desire to be in a better apartment. the apartment served you well and it did the necessary things to keep you safe and alive. 

you grabbed the stack of mail that you had brought up from the mailbox and dumped it on the counter to open after dinner and before bed. quickly hopping in the shower, you rinsed off and washed your hair before moving to your skin routine. you finished up and placed food in milo’s (your cat) food bowl, waiting for him to come out of his little den to eat. you made yourself some food as well before heading to the couch to watch some netflix. as you were finishing up milo came up and curled up on your lap, purring as you petted him. 

Once you were done, you turned the tv off and cleaned the dishes before heading over to the mail. junking most of the ads and free magazines. you were about to call it a night when you noticed a dark red envelope, calligraphy was daintily painted over the front. the quality too high to be mistook as a regular envelope, the regal feeling it sent to foreign for you to ignore. it was addressed to you and so you tore it open revealing a glass invitation. in calligraphy, it was written. 

you are invited to the wedding of Suna Rintarou and r/n l/n. 

for a moment you were at a loss of words, a loss of feelings. Your entire body freezes at the thought of seeing Suna, happy at the altar, being married off. inside the envelope was a RSVP card and in scratched handwriting was a note “you may bring a guest.“ The wedding was in two weeks, somewhere in the mountains of Osaka.

after the breakup you didn’t really find the need to be following suna on his socials so you unfollowed him and kept on moving. but you knew he still followed you when he liked your occasional posts. but the only reason the invitation wasn’t a complete and utter surprise to you was the fact that your mum had already told you about it. apparently she found it in her need to keep following his socials and staying updated with his life, you on the other hand didn’t really care. The only real question was why would he want you there? 

Deciding that this could be the final goodbye, the answer that would cease your endless what if’s and scenarios that plagued your head on occasion. 

…. 

two weeks later aka the day of the wedding 

you were in a black cowl neck dress that was backless but the straps of the dress were evident. your hair was pulled back into a claw clip, but it was curled and done neatly so it would be acceptable to wear at a wedding. you had on gold hoops and a gold flat chain around your neck and your makeup was once again simple. your dress was definitely not something people would stop and stare at and think you were dressed inappropriately. you were aiming for simple, but you wanted to look good. 

you were hoping to slip in and slip out. maybe a couple of words to the groom, a congrats, maybe before you were out of there. The thought process behind attending simply wasn’t there. all you knew is that you wanted to see him one last time, maybe it was torture or maybe it was for closure. Who knew? Because you certainly didn’t. 

as you pulled up to the venue you already noticed how nice it looked. you also noticed the small details that shouted suna! 

“i want our theme to be red and black” 

as you walked into the venue you noticed it was all made of glass and the walkway was adorned with deep maroon and white petals, littered in a zig-zag pattern to identify the aisle. the chairs that lined the edge were also marked with white bouquets. the guests were quietly filling in and you noticed many of his teammates and people you used to be friends with and you moved quickly to avoid catching their eye. you found a seat in the corner of the glass room all the way in the back. where you could see the altar but hopefully they wouldn’t be able to see you. 

“what do you think about a glass venue? we could do white flowers to off-set the red and black.” 

you watched as the final guests made their way to their seats. you sat quietly and spoke to absolutely no-one. you watched as the groom and his groomsmen walk onto the stage when you feel your shoulder being tapped. you turn to see an old lady, you knew it was sunas grandmother but she made no efforts to show she knew who you were. 

“do you mind giving up your seat dear?” 

“of course it’s no problem.” 

as you stood up, you accidentally caught the eye of suna. dammit. you let the old lady and the old man sit in the chairs that you previously occupied. making yourself move towards the back where the people with cameras were standing so you were unnoticeable. but it was already too late, he had seen you there. but in a flash the music began to play. 

“i seriously don’t want to watch you walk down the aisle to canon.d maybe something romantic like say you won’t let go by james arthur” 

The song that began to play sounded like “can’t help falling in love with you,”, but you were focused as the flower girls, the parents all walked down the aisle and then lastly the bridesmaids. Your gaze finds suna once again watching him carefully, and soon the song shifts and it is time for the bride to walk down. most’s eyes were watching as she walked down the aisle, but your eyes were on him. you watched as he took a breath in, you watched as his muscles went rigid. 

“nah i seriously don’t think i’ll cry when i see you walk down the aisle. i’m not a pussy y/n”

it was only after she had reached the altar had you noticed that osamu (his best man) had his eyebrows furrowed and for a brief moment was watching you. you looked away and the ceremony began. 

“i think the actual ceremony should be short and sweet, just how it should be done.”

that’s what the ceremony was, hearing their vows made you nearly tear up because at one point you imagined it to be yourself up there. you on that altar promising to love him forever, promising yourselves to each other. when the wedding ceremony was over, you waited as the groom and bride walked out first and you slipped out the side doors to go to the reception area. you knew that you shouldn’t stay much longer but you wanted to see the reception hall before you left. 

you walked through the long hallway where you could see the guests congratulating the bride and getting ready for their picture to be taken. you continue walking down the glass hallway before you make it over to the reception hall area. It was packed with tables and there was a wooden floor designated for dancing. There was a bar and multiple tables lined with a cake and food to enjoy. 

The backdrop, where a camera was set up, was a dark green bush with red flowers draped delicately. The final touches of “The Suna’s” written in Calligraphy plastered in Neon Lights. you noticed the table at the entrance, where there was a book for guests to sign, and take a picture with a polaroid and shots that had table numbers in them. 

“my parents, at their wedding, had their guests take a funny picture and sign it in a book, i think we should do that. So we can keep the memories of what is going to be the best night of our lives.”

you walked out of the reception hall, out the doors and further down towards a gazebo that had been decorated. you needed a breath of fresh air. as you stood leaning against the railing in the gazebo hut, preparing yourself to leave. you hear footsteps approach you. expecting it to be suna, you turn only to be met with osamus now darker hair. 

“what are you doing here?” 

hostility, you were not expecting that. 

“um, sorry. i wanted to see the reception area before i left.” 

“i mean what are you doing at the wedding.” he retorted, a brash tone in his voice. 

“i was invited.” you calmly stated back. 

“i don’t care that you were invited, you shouldn’t be here. suna is happy without you.” 

not wanting to bother to fight him or start an argument, you took this as your sign to leave. 

“you’re right, please give my wishes to mr. and mrs.suna.” just as you turned to leave the gazebo you heard another voice. 

“haven’t you learned any manners osamu? that’s not how we treat our guests.” suna. 

you hadn’t heard that voice in so long. 

“They are not welcome here.” he spits back. Why the hell was he so angry at me? i was invited and i didn’t even make a scene, he has no right to be angry. In the end it was you who was hurt, not him so what the fuck. 

“it’s not your wedding, is it?” he retorted. He waits for a response and when he doesn’t respond, he whispers. 

“Give us five minutes will you?” 

osamu just grunts before you hear footsteps fading away.  

“I know you rsvp’d but i didn’t think you’d actually come. Did you bring a guest?” 

you let out a breath before spinning on your heel only to be faced with the man you love. he was breathtakingly beautiful. the red and black suit was tailored to perfection, it fit his body like a glove. he looked good, he looked really good. 

“yeah, i didn’t have anyone to bring.” you muttered out. you walked towards the railing, not only to help lean your weight but also to put distance between you and him. but he immediately followed your step, leaning too against the railing. 

“n/n, you should try to move on.” your eyes involuntarily shut as you heard that name for the first time in four years. no one calls you that anymore, fear that they would trigger too many memories. 

“the ceremony was beautiful, and so was the reception hall. you look really happy suna and i’m happy for you.” 

you whisper out finally and you could honestly say that you meant those words. you were also deflecting his comment. He didn’t look at you when you said that, eyes drifting off towards the view, giving you time to drink in his face. His eyes were still as sharp, his features just the same. His jaw is sharper than ever. His body looked more toned out, but the bags under his eyes gave it all away. He wasn’t sleeping, it was always hard for him to sleep when he overworked himself. But you bite your tongue to not bring it up, not to let him know that you still knew him from the inside out. 

“thank you for coming.” he mutters back. you nod. you notice he tries to say something, but then fails and then tries again. 

“i’m sorry-” 

“Don’t, don’t do that to yourself and don’t apologise for something that is now in the past. it wasn’t your intention to fall out of love with me but it happened. you don’t need to apologise.” 

they fall into a comfortable silence. 

“your mum congratulated me on the wedding. i wasn’t expecting it, thought she would hate me after she found out ….” he trails off. 

she snorted. 

“what?” 

“i never told anyone the truth.” 

“What? What do you mean? ” he asked, a little more perplexed, eyebrows furrowing and his face visibly confused. 

“I just didn’t want to and i also didn’t even understand it myself. my friends and family don’t know you cheated. I just told them that we fell out of love, that we drifted apart and it was unfixable the distance between us.” 

“why?” he whispers out 

“because they love you, my family loves you, my friends love you. i couldn’t change their perspective of you because of something that wasn’t, TO ME at least, didn’t really seem like your fault. i don’t agree with the way you chose to pursue things, but i can’t blame you for it either. you fell out of love suna. you found somebody new. so yeah to them we just never ended up working out. and none of your friends ever reached out afterward so i never told them anything either.” 

suna doesn’t know what to say to that. He had no response because you didn’t know half of it. You didn’t know that he hadn’t found someone new. That he never fell out of love with you. That he was not happy, not for one moment for the past years did he even so much feel a glint of happiness. 

“I’m sorry for the way osamu acted, i honestly don’t know why he’s been so angry recently. i told him the truth, as in all of it. I still don’t know specifically to who, but he’s been taking it out on everyone and i guess he doesn’t really like r/n but i think it’s just his bias that he holds for you and um r/n doesn’t really like you all too much, so i think he gets heated when she talks about you in a bad light. She thinks that you weren’t good for me. something about holding me back, and not pushing me to my fullest potential.” he whispers out, almost like he shouldn’t have told you but he did anyways, like he couldn’t keep anything from you.

the statement left a sour mark on your tongue. not pushing him to his best abilities? what does that even mean? Weren’t they the one who helped him voice his thoughts more? teach him that talking about his feelings and not just pretending he doesn’t care is healthy? Weren’t they the ones who taught him that breaking down was okay? Weren’t they the one to always encourage him to take the opportunities that were offered to him?

“obviously, i don’t agree with her. but she’s my wife.” and there it was, the final kick to her gut. The answer you were waiting for. 

she shouldn’t have come. 

“what the two of you have is beautiful, i can see from the way you look at her that you really love her and i am seriously happy for you suna.” 

“i want that for you. you know?” 

“what? happiness?” 

“that yes, but to find someone who loves you.” 

she lets out a small laugh before finally answering his statement from before. 

“i have moved on rin. before i met you i knew that i wanted to be alone in life, i just knew i was better by myself and that was just that, a fact. then you came into my life and wrecked all those ideas and all those beliefs and i was ready and honestly willing to give my entire future to you, i gave up all my ideas for a life with you. then we ended and i tried to date again after working on myself and i just never felt anything with anyone. so I stopped wasting my time and focused on things i enjoyed doing. i have moved on, I just went back to the plans before you. I would like to say that I am happy as well. as happy as someone can choose to be.” she whispered out. 

Once again suna was left speechless to your thoughts, to the way you held yourself, to the way you spoke. He felt his heart shatter as he realised that after this he would never get to hear you speak again, never get to hear your thoughts again this was it. 

“Do you mind if I hold you one last time? A final hug for goodbye?” He murmurs, his eyes watching yours as your body freezes. 

He waits, praying to all the gods in the world that you would say yes. Praying that he would be able to feel you in his arms again, for the last time. He watches as your body relaxes and you finally meet his eyes, turning to face him before taking a slow step towards him. 

“One final hug as goodbye.” you repeat. As you bring yourself to your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck, his hands naturally find their way around your waist. The hug held every emotion that the two of you had kept inside for the past four years. 

Yours. Feelings of love, grief and goodbye. 

His. feelings of regret, remorse and reminisce. 

The moment lasted longer than anticipated, complaints came from neither of you as you stayed within each other’s embrace. Before you pull away, stepping back and composing yourself before you say your final wishes. 

“I’ll always be here for you, rin, if you ever need anything. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us. I wish you the best.” 

Before you finally turned and headed back to the entrance of the venue, ready to get back to your mundane life, leaving all the fairytales, what if’s and wishful thinkings at that gazebo in the mountains of osaka. Though you felt light on your toes you couldn’t help but think; 

if you had moved on, why did it hurt so much to say goodbye? 

“This isn’t fair to either of you, you deserve to be together.” suna hears osamu’s voice cut through the silence. 

“Yeah, well life’s not fair sometimes.” suna murmurs out, as he watches you slip into your car and drive off. 

“We have to do something about r/n. She can’t just keep threatening your career. You aren’t happy, rin.” osamu pushes. 

“Drop it samu, they’ve moved on. It’s not fair but that’s how life goes, not all of us get happy endings.” suna says before he walks off. 

two lives, once previously intertwined in perfect harmony and a sudden catastrophe sends them both into cataclysmic destruction. the once previous thought of happily ever after non-existent to the both of them. Neither happy, neither satisfied, yet both living in the shell of their bodies in hopes that one day they can be whole again.  

reblogs and likes are much appreciated!

#♪ too good to keep to myself: rintarou #haikyuu!! x reader #suna x you #suna x reader #suna angst #haikyu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff

[jxbsbokuto]

Hello! If I may, could I please ask for some headcanons of how Chigiri, Nagi, Bachira and Isagi would confess to the reader?

LOVESICK CONFESSIONS — blue lock!

✺ featuring — meguru bachira, hyoma chigiri, yoichi isagi, and seishiro nagi

✺ lumi’s note — this is my first time writing a request and coincidentally, also my first post for the bllk (best) boys! i hope you like it, anon!

MEGURU BACHIRA ༉‧₊˚.

i have a very good reason to believe that meguru bachira just one day wakes up and decides that he loves you and is going to tell you. don’t get me wrong—his epiphany may be sudden, but this has been a long time coming, and it’s high time he tells you.

since this morning, meguru bachira is a man on a mission. he is going to tell you that he has feelings for you, and it has to be today. to be honest, meguru isn’t the type of person to come up with those cheesy and romantic gestures. he finds his own ways to do things, and confessing isn’t any different.

just like clockwork, you approach the school quadrangle with tree boxes where you always sit down on to read books and sometimes watch bachira as he shows you his tricks in football. it has been a routine of some kind to meet there every after class and you both liked it.

as for you, the presence of the boy is comforting after a long day even though you’re both just doing your own thing, but you know that he’s there and it’s enough. of course, who can forget the ice cream he buys you as a thanks for accompanying him while he plays football?

today, meguru is already there when you arrived. as always, his feet are already playing with the ball in some way even if he’s still in his school uniform. he’s cute like this, you think. in his point of view, while you close the distance between the two of you, he gets more and more excited to tell you.

“y/n! think fast!” before you know it, the ball is already flying towards you. although spending a lot of time with him has resulted in you knowing how to at least catch a ball, you opt to dodge it this time.

“what the heck, megs? you trying to kill me?”

he chuckled, “you have to catch it, y/n!”

you looked at him incredulously, “no, thank you. i came here to peacefully read my new copy of pride and prejudice, so if you may—”

“aw, come on! pick it up! pretty please?”

okay, let’s get this out of the way—meguru bachira has irresistible puppy eyes that can get him anything he wants. so, you do it and you picked up the ball.

“tell me what it says, pretty.”

your brows furrowed in confusion, but your instincts guided you to search the ball for whatever he meant. and there, in big, black, bold letters—i love you.

the scoff that comes out of your lips in insincere and the smile that creeps into your face is a telltale sign of how you feel the same way.

he grins, “well?”

“think fast, meguru!”

you aim the ball towards his head and throw it playfully, which he catches without effort. he looks at you expectantly.

“i love you too, idiot.”

he may or may not have kicked the ball so hard it reached the rooftop of the nearest building to the point where it cannot be retrieved, but who knows?

HYOMA CHIGIRI ༉‧₊˚.

HYOMA CHIGIRI ༉‧₊˚.

oh dear, you have to tell him first or else, your happily ever after with him will end before it even started. he is very well aware of how he feels about you, but the 50/50 chance of you liking him back or not doesn’t sit well with him, and it makes him sick to his stomach imagining you rejecting him. he’d rather die than go through that heartbreak slash embarrassment. doesn’t do well with rejections. so, yeah.

it has been a frustrating month, to say the least, because chigiri has been acting weird. you guys went from basically acting like an old couple to casual acquaintances, and you don’t understand. not too long ago, everyone was expecting you to be together by the end of this year and truth to be told, you thought so too.

in chigiri’s defense, he is freaking out. his friends are pressuring him to man up and tell you how strongly he feels about you, but that is the problem. he feels too strongly and he’s afraid how rejection coming from your end will affect everything.

first, he’ll lose you and your friendship. followed by losing months of proper training because he’ll be nursing his heartbreak seriously. the odds aren’t in his favor, and it’s keeping him awake at night.

obviously, he has been thinking too much about this, that he hasn’t noticed how he’s hurting you in the present. he’s not showing up to your little picnics by the soccer field, he’s not responding to the cutesy sticky notes you hand to him in class, and he’s not even looking at you, much less talking to you.

“bro, you trying to become single forever, or what?” his friend, isagi, who absolutely has no game when it comes to girls as well, asks him.

“what do you mean?”

“just look at your pretty lil y/n,” isagi shamelessly points towards your direction in the cafeteria, and chigiri hurriedly puts his friend’s hand down.

but he sees what he means—you are looking at them with that faint melancholy in your eyes that you’re trying to hide. chigiri can only look away alongside the torturous feeling tugging at his heartstrings.

of course, she’s upset. i’m her friend and i haven’t been talking to her. i’ll just apologize once i sort these feelings out, he rationalizes.

that is only until you corner him as soon as he got out of the comfort room. you look confrontational and it has him terrified. he’s actually alone. with you. the person who he is head over heels in love with.

“spit it out, hyoma,” you demand with venom and hurt laced in your voice it almost makes him flinch.

since he’s backed against the wall and you’re standing inches right in front of him, he figures running away isn’t the right thing to do in this situation.

“tell me straight up and end my agony. i’ll try my best to fix whatever problem you have with me, but i can’t do that if you won’t tell me!”

“w-what do you mean?” is all he could muster because his brain can only process the fact that he can smell your perfume and natural scent from here and it is sending him on a frenzy.

god, he is so damn in love with you.

however, he is pulled out of his reverie when he hears your small sniffles and when he catches sight of your tears.

no, no, no.

don’t cry. not for me. not for anyone.

“y/n—”

“is it because you found out that i’m in love with you, hyoma? is… is that why you’ve been avoiding me? you could have just told me and i’d do my best to fall out of love with you if that’s what it takes for you to remain friends with me—”

a string of patience breaks within him, and with that comes a breath of pure relief as he grabs your nape to pull you in on a kiss.

“but i don’t wanna be friends,” he whispers in between kisses. “i love you too. i love you, baby.”

ISAGI YOICHI ༉‧₊˚.

he claims that he has loved you ever since you were both kids to everyone who asks him who you are (yes, everyone knows that this nerd is in love with you except… well, you). it was only when he had to go away to blue lock for some time that he realizes he needs to confess to you before spending time apart, and also because he is scared he’d lose you to your other admirers.

isagi is restless.

it’s valentine’s day and he just witnessed your locker throw up a bunch of love letters from losers who are confessing their undying love for you. idiots. if anyone here has undying love for her, it’s me.

despite knowing that no one will love you more than he does, he is still all fidgety and nervous because unlike those losers, he hasn’t confessed to you.

it’s ridiculous. you have been together basically since kindergarten and has been inseparable since then. both of you have seen each other in their highs and lows. you have laughed and cried together. you have made plans for a future where the other is present.

isn’t it already a given that he loves you? does he really have to say it at this point? you must know, right? you know him. he doesn’t even have to talk and you already know what he’s thinking. there is no way that you don’t know he loves you.

“oh, wow—this is a lot!” you exclaim, mostly thankful for all the love that literally just poured out of your locker for you. “it’s like twice as many as last year.”

you start picking up the letters and chocolates on the ground, which isagi helps you with. he is the designated eater of the chocolates you can’t finish.

“too bad they don’t got a chance—” he starts, and you interrupt him to disagree.

“i don’t think so, yoichi. we’re in the right age to be dating people. also, you’ll be leaving me alone once you attend that training, so it wouldn’t hurt to give one of them a chance.”

poor isagi deflates upon hearing that. it never occurred to him that you will be with someone else. to him, it will always be you and him. there could be no extras in your story.

oh, boy. was he wrong to be so complacent. apparently, you have no damn clue that your childhood friend has always loved you. and now, he’s on a dilemma and his other friends have to hear about it.

“it’s your fault, though?” nagi states the obvious. “you never told her, so how’d she know? boring.”

meguru nods eagerly, “but it’s fine, yoichi! there will always be someone out there for you. but of course, you’ll have to suffer watching her with someone else first.”

when he realizes that his friends are no help at all, he takes matters into his own hands and put aside his doubts for a while to muster up the courage to finally confess to you after years of pining.

the day before he goes away for training, he offers to walk you home like he always does. the difference of today from all the other days is that he pulls your wrist just right before you disappear into your door.

“wait a minute,” he says.

you face him again, and without a word, he locks a necklace around your neck with a pendant of a small soccer ball with his initial in the middle. your lips part in awe and in realization of what he is about to say, but you find yourself speechless at how he’s looking at you with the softest eyes he could give only you, with the setting sun behind him.

“i never told you this, but i want you to rememember it starting from now. i love you. i want you to be mine, and mine alone. and this may sound selfish, but will you wait for me until i get back?”

you sigh and caress his cheek on your palm. “honey, i have always loved you too. i am yours already. of course, i will wait for you. so don’t worry about me and do your best over there, alright?”

“you’ll be here when i get back?”

“i’ll be here when you get back.”

SEISHIRO NAGI ༉‧₊˚.

the realization hits him in the middle of a football game. he can’t stop thinking about you and it has been affecting his games. there’s no other explanation for that, right? he likes you. and he has to tell you in front of the ocean of people watching because he just can’t wait but ease the bugging feeling in his stomach.

nagi is not playing like usual, and coach ego has scolded him like five times since the game started.

him being himself, he can’t even bring himself to care because his mind is plagued with thoughts of you. he wants to play and see the field on a levelheaded point of view to match with isagi’s tactics, but boy, are you annoying. you are all he can think about, and it is frustrating him!

“what kinda bullshit was that, nagi?!” reo shouts at him from across the field because the white-haired boy failed to catch the ball meant for him. “focus!”

“i’m really fucking trying, man!” he shouts back painfully and truthfully, because he really is trying but it doesn’t seem to be working.

the game continues on and all nagi can think about are your lips and how they move whenever you smile, your eyes whenever you talk about something you love, your hair when the autumn air makes it dance like leaves on trees, or your small pout when he refuses to give in to your whims!

“goddammit!” he frustratingly utters as he tries to steal the ball from the opponent. he is too close to succeeding until his brain once again flashes a memory of you laughing like the beautiful human being you are.

“you got this, sei!” you cheer from the bleachers, and your voice is much too distinct for his ears not to hear it. almost faster than the speed of light, he looks at you. his breath gets stuck in his throat as soon as he sees you in his jersey, waving up a huge banner with his name on it. in that split second, he got tackled by the players running on the field.

“fucking hell! that’s it!” he grumbles. “oh, y/n. you are damn annoying. making me fall in love with you like a fool. annoying! annoying! annoying!”

ego substitutes him out of the game, and he takes that chance to climb up the bleachers to approach you. the game is yet to restart, so a lot of eyes are on him and his annoyed expression.

you, however, know better. he may be annoyed, but definitely not by you, even though he’s staring straight at you ask he walks. you smile at him.

“you okay, sei?” you ask in concern because he just got tackled to the ground moments before reaching you. “you’ve been out of focus—”

“because you’re here, dammit.”

you laugh through your nose, “what? i thought you wanted me to come watch the game, seishiro..”

“can’t focus now. i don’t know what to do. i can’t stop thinking about you. what’re you doing to me, huh? stop it right now! we need to win!”

“i’m not doing anything, though?”

“that! that pout! stop it!”

seishiro nagi looks incredibly cute like this. he is literally towering over you in his 6’3 prowess and yet, he throws tantrums like a little boy.

“what exactly am i doing to you, sei?”

“you make me want to leave the damn field so i can climb up here to kiss you! because i love you! and i can’t stop thinking about you in that huge jersey!”

your heart overflows with the sudden confession from the boy you have liked for some time now, plus the fact that you have an entire stadium before you, but you are not complaining. not at all.

you take the initiative to tiptoe and kiss seishiro nagi in hopes that it will calm him down to last the game.

“i love you too, sei. no need to be so restless, hm? i’ll be watching from here and i’m not going anywhere, so you better focus!”

like the small peck wasn’t enough, he carries you by your waist to press a deeper kiss on your lips that he has only ever dreamed of kissing.

“okay. i guess that helps. see you after the game.”

he scores the winning goal, and everyone can tell that he is impatient. they are right. as soon as the game ends, he runs to celebrate with you in his arms.

#♪ - too good to keep to myself: blue lock #blue lock headcanons #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #nagi headcanons #nagi x reader #chigiri headcanons #chigiri x reader #bachira headcanons

[jxbsbokuto]

“babe, i swear this isn’t what it looks like.”

tetsurou raises a hand in surrender, shifting his guilt ridden gaze between you, the television illuminating the living room, and the baby girl whom he has resting on his hip.

you went out for a couple hours, a movie and a few drinks with some friends—non alcoholic for you, of course.

the thought of leaving tetsurou to watch your seven month old for the evening, all by himself, is one that would have worried you five years ago—back when responsibilities and parenthood were nothing but words. now, it’s the idea of leaving her with anyone else that bothers you.

he’s done the dinner, bath, and bed routine dozens of times before, more or less without fail. you figured tonight would be no different—feeling nothing but absolute confidence and peace of mind throughout your entire outing.

so, when you return home and see this, you can’t help but wonder what led to it.

“oh, i see,” you mumble as you step forward, easily recognizing the dull tune emanating from the tv as your daughter’s current favourite. “you haven’t kept our daughter up an hour and a half past her bedtime for a…dance party?”

you can hardly call it dancing, his hips are far too stiff for that. still, catching the tail end of his rigid movements, seeing the pure elation on your baby’s face as he bounced her to the music—have you ever had a worry in life? it doesn’t feel like it.

“of course not,” he scoffs, and a look of disgust flashes across his features—as if he’d ever do such a horrible thing. “i put her in her crib, but she wouldn’t stop fussing, figured this would tire her out faster.”

typical tetsurou—just can’t stand when one of his favourite girls is upset.

“and the tiaras? the uh, the tutus?” you wiggle your finger at them, gesturing to the silver crowns on their heads, and the purple tulle sitting atop their pajamas.

your husband’s tutu is clinging to his waist, visibly stretched and causing his black tee to bunch up—and he looks ridiculous, truly, but he also looks exactly how you’d want the father of your child to look on a saturday night.

“well, pardon us for dressing to the occasion,” he grins, smug and sweet all at once as he tilts his head towards the dancing princesses on the tv.

and you get it, you’re not one for leaving her when she cries either—but this tactic is sure to do more harm than good, having her on a schedule is what keeps you sane.

“it’s bedtime,” you order as you reach for your daughter, and she reaches for you too—all smiles and wiggly feet as her tiara and the little plushie she was holding tumble to the floor in unison.

“look at her go,” he chuckles as he bends over to retrieve her belongings, “she wants you to join us, right sweetheart?” he coos at her, and her chubby little arms start to wave up and down.

“tetsurou,” you sigh, and you can see it in his eyes that he knows he shouldn’t push any further—and maybe it’s that precious smile on his little girl’s face, or the tiny tiara cutting off the blood flow to his brain—but he pushes further.

“i know, i know,” he admits, resting his hands on your hips and tugging you a bit closer. “but she’s already up, what’s a few more minutes?”

“you’re a real pain in my ass,” you mutter, leaning into the warmth of his chest as he presses his lips to your forehead, and then your daughter’s.

“but you love me, right?” he stares down at you, with hope and love, and a little apology swirling behind his eyes.

“i do,” you say, “just not in this outfit, princess.”

and your daughter is quiet, eyes fluttering open and closed as she leans against your shoulder, fighting her sleep.

“really? the short skirt isn’t doing it for you?” he asks, holding his hands out and gesturing to himself—short skirt revealing nothing but his plaid pajama pants.

“no, you’re setting a bad example.”

he slaps a hand over his mouth, feigning a look of pure horror before laughing it off and wrapping his arms around you again, careful not to disturb the baby sleeping in your arms.

“well, true love’s kiss will turn me back to normal, won’t it?” he smiles at you, in the dull orange hues of your little living room, and you feel like you’ve never had a worry in your life, ever.

you kiss him. it’s short and sweet, but it’s warm and it feels like home—he feels like home. you flick the flimsy plastic off his head, presumably turning him back to the tetsurou you left your daughter with five hours ago.

“so, i’m the hideous green ogre?” you eye him, curious to see how he’s going to answer such a dangerous question.

“no,” he grins, “just the love of my life.”

#♪ too good to keep to myself: tetsurou