kamotoshi

[kamotoshi]

hey y’all! after takin some time to do a long think, I’ve come here to share some news.

since I don’t want you all to have to read alllllll the way to the end of this post  to figure out what this is about(bc me and my 3 second attention span def would NOT), I’ll put the gist above the cut:

I'm taking an actual break from writing and from fanfiction.

idk honestly when or if I’ll return to it, wherever I may choose to post it if I continue, but for right now, I’m done.

the reasons are personal, and I'll get a lil bit into them under the cut but if you’re reading this, it’s not bc of you! all of you, whether you’re new to the page or have followed me since ahkaahshi, have made this a really great and fun experience for me. I will always be grateful for your support, for the safe space you created here that allowed me to share so freely, and for the amazing friends I made here (including those who chose to stay on anon! I’m still so thankful you came to my inbox to send me such wonderful messages). love you all <3

if you’d like to keep reading, please do! but if not, please take care and stay safe :)

for a long time, fanfiction used to be my way of comforting myself. I started sharing it because I wanted other people to feel the way I felt, especially if they didn't want to/didn’t feel comfortable writing the story themselves.

however, the past year or two have been really difficult for me. I’ve suffered a lot of heartache and have had to face a lot of really hard truths. unfortunately, it’s these heartbreaks that I’ve dealt with--from family, significant others, and friends--that have taken away my ability to write at this time simply because I feel so jaded with love. 

I tried to write the other night, just a short and simple piece to get back into the swing of things, and I got so stressed. my characterization felt so off, the emotion felt so lacking, and I truly just didn’t believe in what I was writing. I didn’t believe in the love that the two characters had for one another. I’ve never felt so detached from my own work before, and it made me so sad when I realized that, but I’ve accepted it and that’s why I’m making the decision to leave.

I know it might sound weird and cheesy, especially since heartbreak has fueled my ambition to write before in an attempt to comfort and reassure myself. but after what I’ve been through in terms of broken relationships in just the past year alone, I truly just feel so disconnected from writing.

you don’t need to understand my reasoning--since I just felt like sharing to make things a bit more personal on this face to screen platform--but I hope you can understand my decision. and I’m probably taking this way too seriously, but that’s just who I am lol.

I hope you all take care of yourselves and never forget how much you are loved. I know that sounds SO CHEESY like that shit’s been aging for centuries in france somewhere BUT I just want to leave you on a positive note with an uplifting reminder :)

see ya around!

-fran

#fran's ramblin

[kamotoshi]

kinda upset that chōsō is with tengen and not me rn ngl 😕

#fran's ramblin #I miss my sweet death painting #such is the curse of getting attached to side characters #they have their moments where you fall head over heels for them #and then they disappear for like 70 chaps #it would just do me a lot of good to see his face again #like what are they all doin??? #playin smash bros??? #let me in on the deets

[kamotoshi]

if the subject is not getou suguru, kamo toshi, chōsō, nanamin, or tōji I’m sorry but I cannot pay attention for the time being. I’m in heavy brain rot for these beloved brooders. don’t come into my inbox and say their names unless you want me to yell. do not provoke me. I am in a vulnerable place.

#fran's ramblin #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #I just #love them so gd much y’all #it’s like more love than I could ever feel for a 3d man I’m convinced #they are all so beautiful and so adorable and I wanna play with their hair #I am manifesting them for serotonin to kick miss rona outta here #I just wanna shout my love for them from the rooftops is all #they only mean the whole entire world to me #no biggie #absolutely nothing new here at kamotoshi

[kamotoshi]

a thought: lying to reggie about anything would be impossible bc the mf literally has receipts

#fran's ramblin #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #reggie jjk

[kamotoshi]

Happy pride Franny!!! I hope you're doing okay besides going through it :// it's rough out here and everything sucks but I think we'll be okay at the end. The new chapters for jjk got me fucked up though 😭 like my bb panda really got beat up and Inumaki still hasn't made a comeback 😭😭😭 I hope you come back soon but I want you to take your time and be happy

🌻 anon

🌻 anon!! so happy to see you again my love 🥺 I could be doing better since miss rona came for me and has been drop kicking me since yesterday (but I'm on the mend!!). but yes we'll all be okay and at least we can bond over our mutual suffering ya know? anyway!

jjk spoilers under the cut!!

new chap got me MESSED UP. seeing panda's bro and sis in his body getting taken away from him AGH. GEGE WHY. why are you TOYING with my heart. I'm so glad hakari's here but damn seeing panda's head on a stake and all that stuffing everywhere is so dark 😭 our big baby 🥺🥺🥺 panda's been thru it so badly. and inumaki too. I need him back. I need all my kyoto babies back actually. I miss them all so dearly and am deeply concerned about them. but I'm having serious separation anxiety with toshi 😭

I hope to be back here soon too, or at least writing some of those ideas I've had floating around for a hot minute 🥺 thank you for your kind words as always ❤️ we'll see how this goes!!

#hangouts with fran! #[🌻 anon] #jjk spoilers #gege takes no mf'ing prisoners #gege owns my heart and my soul since I have devoted both to jjk #every damn day I sit on the edge of my seat wondering which of my favs gege will take next #I have NO TRUST anymore #AFTER NANAMI AND KOKICHI I CANNOT TRUST ANYMORE #PETITION TO BRING EVERYONE HOME SAFELY #EXCEPT FOR KENJAKU HE CAN SUCK IT #I do want getou back tho but I know he's not coming I'm crying

[kamotoshi]

I love how I said I was gonna be back in november 2021 and it’s june 2022 HAHAHA. that’s life :) anyway, here’s me realizing I cannot write and indulge in fanfiction/manga as heavily unless I’m goin thru it. and surprise! I’m goin thru it. so who knows I might drop somethin. we’ll see. 

I'm up to date on jjk now. still extremely concerned for toshi kamo. still loving yuuta and wishing him all the love and happiness in the world. and. still extremely confused by these cursed techniques. I don’t even wanna talk about hakari’s. please don’t bring it up lol. and no, I don’t wanna talk about reggie and megumi’s domain showdown bc I'm extremely butthurt by how little that whole thing made sense to me.

anyway hi. love you all. happy pride month. be tender with me. I'm tryna figure out if I still wanna write or exist on tumblr at all lol!!

#fran's ramblin #jjk spoilers

[kamotoshi]

seeing my sweet bbs inumaki n okkotsu in the bonus chapter made my day 🥺 I miss them 🥺

#jjk spoilers #fran's ramblin #the separation anxiety is real af #now I just need toshi n todo back 🥺

[kamotoshi]

“you want our points, so you can’t kill us. but if you don’t fight to kill, you’ll wind up dead.”

reggie [ch. 163]

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk coloring #manga coloring #jjk spoilers #shameless! self! promo! #again! #but I'm just so proud of this after taking a huge ass break from everything #and this is the only contribution to the fandom I have atm lmao #I thought I lost my whole inspiration when I opened photoshop and was like uhm wtf is this #BUT I DID IT #idc what anyone else thinks this is my new pride and joy #and I'll stare at it for a solid month probs... or til I make one that's better >:) #REGGIEEEEEEEE #idk wtf he's supposed to look like but this is how he's gonna be living in my head now #ugh I'm just a sucker for contrast and neons and pastels when I'm coloring #lmk what yall think!

[kamotoshi]

runnin back to post this wip bc I’m excited to actually have a wip!!!!! woooooo!!!!

#LOOK YALL IM DOING WORK I SWEAR #SHAMELESS SELF PROMO #BUT DO I CARE? NO #ALL CAPS BC I’M UP WAY LATER THAN I SHOULD BE #BUT I JUST WANTED TO SHARE BC I’M PROUD OF MYSELF #also um does anyone wanna talk about reggie 👀 #I see a new antagonist and my brain goes !!!!!! #but he fucked with nue and doggie so im a lil mad about that #okay I’m not making sense anymore so 💀 #hopefully I’ll be done with this soon! #jjk spoilers

[kamotoshi]

who else’s spotify wrapped really fucking called them out like damn I know I like that song but you didn’t have to tell me I listened to it like 300x I could’ve done without that information thank you

also I’m nosy so feel free to spill the tea about your music tastes 👀

#fran's ramblin #I love the stats tho I’m such a nerd for that shit #like yes break me down song by song genre by genre #let’s fuckin go #my top 5 songs and artists are some of the loves of my life #please feel free to drop your fav artists/genres in my inbox #I literally love music it’s therapeutic for me 🥺

[kamotoshi]

so. I’m gonna fight the overwhelming urge to redo my whole blog since I know it’ll take me centuries now that I’m out of practice lol. INSTEAD I will slowly but surely make some progress on these mini wips I abandoned and hopefully do the same with a couple demon slayer panels since that’s my literal obsession rn (if y’all wanna talk about it I do too 😂). wish me luck!!!

#fran's ramblin #it’s monday but it’s been a WEEK already #hoping to find more free time to work on this stuff #since I literally need to decompress #hope y’all are doin okay 🥺

[kamotoshi]

no same bc i need to write out a masterlist of maps and rules and cursed techniques bc this arc is so confusing

LITERALLY. I’ve honestly been confused since the rules for the culling game were mentioned 💀 I didn’t understand that shit off the bat so I’m really struggling right now lol. and especially having everyone in different places doing different things I’m like wait where’s gumi??? where’s yuuta???? where are all my sweet bbs we haven’t seen since the cursed shibuya arc??? WHAT IS GOING ON

#hangouts with fran! #jjk spoilers #[chcso] #I feel like no matter how many times I reread nothing makes sense lol #gege laid down so many laws and I have no clue what they mean #I read each chapter hoping to learn more and just getting more lost 😂 #I’m glad I’m not alone lol

[kamotoshi]

okay y’all I gotta know. is anyone else confused as fuck by these cursed techniques that are happening in jjk?? like I get it after reading it like 50 times but I’m sat there wondering a) how tf did you think of that gege and b) what’s goin on with all these rules???? bc I know for a damn fact if I was here with these mfs in the culling game I’d be toast bc I simply did not understand the rules

#fran's ramblin #jjk spoilers #like seriously wtf #the constellation one fried my brain I won’t lie #and then the defense attorney oh god #you want me to go to court??? damn!!! #what happened to the simple getting cursed energy and then punching the shit outta a mf #like I cannot follow all these rules and regulations #I am unhinged

[kamotoshi]

FRANNY!!!! IM SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK 😭😭😭 so many of my fav writers have jumped ship from this hellsite (as they should) and I miss every last one of them!! I've been obsessed with genshin impact and I'm juggling two jobs which make me super tired especially since one is retail. But I'm trying to get back into reading again (and maybe writing 👀) and I recently read Iron Widow which is an interesting YA novel involving giant mechas fighting each other, kickass feminism, and a adorable polyamorous relationship! Next up on my list is These Violent Delights and Six Crimson Cranes ( ◜‿◝ )♡ I've also decided to go back to grad school to get my teaching credential. Tbh... I'm still on the fence about it but I do have experience teaching/tutoring. I wanna find something I'm passionate about but also provides me stability but it's really rough out here girl 😫😫😫

But enough about me!! How have you been??? Have you been eating well??? Drinking water?? Any plans for the upcoming holidays??? I hope everything gets better for you, you deserve it!

*hugs* I'm so glad you're back 🥺

-🌻 (maybe I'll get off anon one day hehe)

🌻 ANON!! omg I'm literally soooo happy to see you again what the HECK 🥺 lol I'm still halfway off this ship but shit I just like yall a lil too much 😂 AH retail is exhausting sis I get it but damn idk how you’re out here working all that time so shoot out to you for that but please make sure you take care of yourself okay 🥺 I’m glad you’re trying to find the time to do things that interest you and I hope you can start writing if that’s what you wanna do! and yes I fully support you in your journey to find what you’re passionate about. I wanted to go to grad school overseas next year but didn’t win the scholarship I high key needed so we’re not doing that anymore LMAO (at least not right now bc it’s not a good financial move for me at all) 😅 so believe me I know how rough it is out there. I’m thankful for the job I have but I’m still such a ways away from the career that I’m passionate about. I have faith in us tho for sure and I got your back! 😤

as far as lil old me, nothing much has changed. I’m still me, just with a few more heartbreaks in my repertoire but more bad bitch energy than before 🥺 got a lot going on and things have been literally insane but I'm working on getting my work-life balance down and rediscovering the things that make me happy, which is why I've returned 😂 don’t really have plans for the holidays, just family time!

I'm glad to see you in my inbox again 🥺 I hope that everything works out for you and you know you can talk to me literally whenever, whether you choose to be on or off anon I'm here with hugs ready!! :)

#hangouts with fran! #[🌻 anon] #i missed you bb! #so happy you're still around this hellsite #I wish you nothing but the best ❤️

[kamotoshi]

Welcome back!!

tysm 🥺 I appreciate you!

#hangouts with fran! #[stariwrites] #please feel free to stop by anytime :)

[kamotoshi]

y’all! what is goin on!!!

it’s been a hot ass minute, I LITERALLY just stepped back onto this blog and was like how tf does this website work again after like FOUR MONTHS? anyway, if y’all thought you’d never see kamotoshi pop up on your dash again, here I am :) 

I didn’t expect to be gone for so long but I had (and still have) a lot of things in my personal life to sort thru. I didn’t have time for fandom or fanfiction, I was just on get ‘er done mode with adulting and life, and I just had a moment ya know (ya know) :’) however, now that I’ve had some time to actually like sit the fuck down and think about my life, I realized that I like genuinely missed writing (in general) and coloring (for my sideblog miss sugetou, love her) and interacting with y’all bc it’s no fun when I read all this manga/watch all this anime and am just sitting here silently screaming when I could be rabidly typing on here and having y’all scream back at me lmao.

so this is my tentative return to this hell site. ya heard me. I have wips staring me down like ravenous animals but I’m most likely not gonna be putting out any content soon just so y’all know. I’m really tryna just write when I feel like it and write what I feel like writing since I wanna enjoy it, so I'm not equipped at all to just hop right back in atm 😅 I might change my blog theme, do some cleaning up, who tf knows. idk how I did all that shit before I'm so outta practice HAHA

anyway! come holler at me, I'll be randomly floating around from now on! I'm all caught up on jjk, so come find me if you’d like to discuss whatever tf that shit show is rn. always down to talk about hq too since I miss those mfs. currently tryna knock demon slayer out since I never got around to finishing the manga and just randomly watching bleach in whatever downtime I have when I'm not binging reality tv (oops not sorry). I hope to start talking to y’all again soon and get back into the swing of things in time :)

#fran’s ramblin #when I tell yall I really forgot how Tumblr works it's not a lie #anyway pls my inbox is open! #feel free to come talk to me anytime! #come fill me in on the tea #or talk to me about somethin nice in your life #or just yell about anime or manga #I really dont care I'm just tryna hang tf out yall

[kamotoshi]

hey everyone! I know I said I was gonna have something to post before I left but unfortunately life has been a little too all over the place for me to have the time or energy to write so I’ve gotta just let it go.

I love writing and I love the fandom but I just can’t do any of it right now with what’s happening in my personal life so I have to take a really solid break from it all. I can’t say when I’ll be back bc idk how long it’s gonna take for that motivation and energy to return but I appreciate your understanding!

stay safe out there y’all and I’ll see you around here again sometime ❤️

#fran's ramblin