katachell

[katachell]

aperture science vibes

Stairs down to the flooded level deep inside a mine.

#portal 2 #aperture science

[katachell]

Lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

#portal 2

[katachell]

the cake wasn't a lie after all, but it's got a trick candle.

[katachell]

imagine a portal game that’s set in old aperture, but instead of playing as a test subject you play as cave johnson and it’s in the theme of untitled goose game

(cave voice over the loudspeaker)

•today i am going to cause SCIENCE on purpose

•safe science was never an option

•i’m looking for moon rocks and if i cannot buy them, i will still buy them.

•you mess with the honk, you get the bonk chance to participate in the control group for the repulsion gel.

please feel free to add on

#portal #portal 2 #glados #wheatley #chell #cave johnson

[katachell]

glados

This is a callout post

#glados #portal 2 #valve #wheatley #chelldos

[katachell]

"Welcome, gentlemen, to The Aperture's Fortune. Aristocrats, soldiers, bilge rats -- you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to plunder some gold? [laugh] Now, you already met one another on the dinghy ride over, so let me introduce myself. I'm Captain Johnson. I own the ship. That eager voice you hear barking orders is the lovely Caroline, my First Mate. Rest assured, she's stashed your excess gold with the rest of our loot. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

"Yes, sir, Cap'n Johnson!"

"Hardest working deckhand, Caroline. She's the backbone of this ship! Pretty as a postcard too. Sorry scallywags, she's married; to the sea!"

I've been playing a lot of the game Sea of Thieves with a good friend lately (highly recommend it btw) and we got talking about what a Pirate Portal AU would look like. Surprisingly enough, there doesn't seem to be any fanart of Portal characters as pirates at least that I've found.

So, thanks to an art commission done by the amazing @sapient-nes , this new multiverse now has some content! Here's Captain Cave Johnson and his First Mate Caroline sailing the seas on their ship, The Aperture's Fortune, looking for adventure, plunder, and any crew members brave enough to accompany them on their voyages!

I'm very happy with how the artwork came out. The artist did a wonderful job and was great to work with too! Go commission them if you like what you see!

Also, if anybody out there has seen any other Portal-themed Pirate content, send it my way!

[katachell]

opened my laptop and the guy behind me just saw i was watching the annoying orange gangnam style parody, “Orange Nya Nya Style”

#rip me #embarassing

[katachell]

Evil wheat mood

[katachell]

Still thinking about that direct. Do you know what this means?

We're about to revive the Portal fandom. We're about. To make. A full-on comeback.

Prepare for the good, the bad, and everything else that comes with a switch port, ladies and gentlemen, because ohohohoho, this fandom is about to EXPLODE!

[katachell]

Headcannon that the first time Chell takes off her long fall boots and drops from a reasonable height her legs damn near shatter cause she doesn’t bend them to absorb the impact

Cause she’s never needed to learn how to do that, the long fall boots absorb all the energy for her so there’s no strain on her body for her to learn that

[katachell]

GamesRadar called Chell the antidote to the half-naked woman cliché, praising her for not being sexualized and being fully clothed, commenting, “The hero of Portal just happens to be a normal-looking and normal-dressing woman, like 50% of the world’s population.”

[katachell]

i think everyone should be at least a little bit fixated on a niche video game that came out like 10 years ago and has never been relevant enough to discuss with people you know in real life. for your health

#portal2

[katachell]

no: Caroline was an uwu cinnamon roll who didn't know about anything Aperture was doing and had no agency in her situation

better: Caroline was actually really evil and manipulative and was messing with Cave

best: Caroline started out as a naive young woman who genuinely wanted to make the world a better place with science, but realized that as a woman in that field in the 50s she had to make some 'sacrifices.' And so she ended up compromising her moral code to fit in with the environment, becoming complicit in Aperture's abusive system and eventually actively taking part in it. Her mental justifications became increasingly what she actually believed until she was just as bad as Cave, and she only realized once it was too late and couldn't stop because of how much of her life she threw away and how much of her original self she lost. Being forced into GLaDOS was the culmination of her tragedy both in the sense that it shouldn't have happened to her and also that it was thematically (and karmically) appropriate to be the unwilling participant in an experiment against her will, and ironic that now she must spend the rest of her existence suppressing herself to make amoral science. It's no surprise GLaDOS killed the scientists, no longer having faith in her own conscience and fully (and accurately) believing herself to be a monster with an arrogant pride. It happened long before she became a machine - and now, she may as well be a monster on her own terms.

[katachell]

portal and portal 2 are really good examples of the incredibly thin line between horror and comedy

the events of both games are largely played for laughs - dark laughs, but laughs nonetheless. but if you think about the implications of any one worldbuilding element for more than five seconds, it becomes horrifying. this is especially true for cave johnson - a mutated army of mantis men! - and things glados offhandedly mentions, like the room where all the robots scream at you

[katachell]

oh. oh. oh. thinking about the portal games as a retelling of the story of orpheus and euridice.

the way face-to-face meetings between them are always treated as moments of conflict, tragedy, turning points, life-altering events. The themes of the underworld, hell, chell’s eternal sleep, the sunlight and world above treated as safety, freedom,  heaven-like, with chell reaching it briefly in the end of portal 1, thrown up with glados after finally seeing her face, only to be dragged back below…

glados leading chell by voice through the strange mazes of aperture, always watching chell through the cameras, but never letting herself be seen unless chell fights her way through to her. 

glados singing, pining for her, whenever chell is out of reach, either asleep below or free above…

Chell carrying glados back up to her chamber and restoring her to power during the final act of portal 2, followed by glados doing the same for her with a chorus of turrets to sing her off… 

they are just lesbians, journeying over and over through the underworld, finding each other, losing each other, listening and silently watching and singing and proving their love over and over again…

[katachell]

Portal is 2700% funnier when you remember that it canonically takes place in the same universe as Half-Life.

Aperture Science, a company run by a guy with more money than brains, accidentally turned a bunch of test-subjects into mantis-men using only 1950’s technology. 50-odd years later, their chief business competitor, Black Mesa Research Facility, is manipulated into setting off a dimensional catastrophe which ultimately results in the world getting conquered by an interdimensional alien empire called the Combine. The computer in charge of the Aperture Science facility, in the middle of a goofy tirade, claims to be “the only thing standing between us and them.”

[katachell]