hey guys i just finished a draft for one of the stories in my comic but could really use some critique. basically ive been interviewing multicultural people and then writing short comics based on our conversations. i think ive been staring at it too long and need a fresh pair of eyes. please be harsh idc. are the drawings too stiff or monotonous? do i need to add more background? is it written ok should i rewrite anything?
Was reading in the park (mostly a large field next to the community centre with a pair of baseball diamonds) when an afterschool frisbee club showed up, dumped their bags about ten feet from where I was sitting, and starting throwing frisbees in small groups on literally every side of me. It was a predominantly empty field. They could have gone anywhere, but chose to climb over a fence to reach the spot I was sitting to play their game. There was an adult with them who didn't say a word to me. Not "we have the field booked" or "can you please move". No, he just let this group of a dozen teens throw frisbees in front, behind, and to the right and left of me, a lone person, sitting on a blanket, reading a fucking book, without a single word.
I left the moment a frisbee landed directly in front of me, and, instead of apologizing, the kid who came to grab it laughed back at his friend about how bad a throw it was.
It is a public fucking park. If you booked a space, fine. But use your words. Don't just surround a person without saying anything in the hopes I'll just get up and leave. Believe it or not, I don't want to get hit in the head with a flying piece of plastic while on my day off because you were too cowardly to ask me to move.
Kids are stupid (I work with them, they just don't think sometimes). Adults, on the other hand... Their supervisor/coach is a dick.
me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid