kieraelieson

[kieraelieson]

I still occasionally get the sir uh no ma’am no sorry sir comments almost 6 years on T and a lot of people don’t get why that happens to me but what people don’t get is that most people out in the world aren’t like expecting to see trans people so if they catch sight of my bra line under my shirt or hear me talk slightly high pitched something short circuits in their brain as they try to rationalize that with the rest of my appearance.

I mean I pass the vast majority of the time. Even without binding or packing. But sometimes you’re gonna cause a little short circuit. And you know what? Usually the other person is the one embarrassed in that situation. Not you. For the most part with strangers what gender they think you are isn’t your problem. If you act like your gender should be obvious to them then they’re the ones who will be flustered. Not you.

Make a confused and slightly judgmental face at them or correct them like uh, sir like it’s obvious when they misgender you and that’ll take care of a lot of your problems, I’ve found.

[kieraelieson]

Nate undercover: the most obnoxious man you've ever met.

Sofie undercover: gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Hardison: 1 act awkward, 2 pretend to have PTSD, 3 accuse the suspicious of racism.

Eliot: do the cover job really well. really really well. Actually cater the wedding, actually build the shed, actually groom the dog, and do a dang good job of it. You're the best <profession here> in the world!

Parker undercover:

[kieraelieson]

How am I meant to be a productive member of society while disabled?

No seriously, how?

[kieraelieson]

Let's bring artist trading cards back. It's a small, low pressure trade scenario where you could either swap pre-made cards or make custom trade pieces that are approachable because of the small canvas size. Also, collectible, miniature, and could be an affordable way to collect work from favorites, and you could collect the physical cards easily because they'll ship cheaply. I see few drawbacks, and my obsession with mini things makes it that much better. You wanna do a card swap hmu! I'm going to start making some on 2.5x3.5" bristol for the hell of it.

[kieraelieson]

I guess friendly reminder that you can't actually judge someone's socioeconomic status based on what they own and the classic republican "they can't be poor they own a smart phone/computer" argument doesn't suddenly stop being complete out of touch nonsense when a poor person makes it.

Anyway insert "y'all can't be trusted to eat the rich bcs you'll target taco bell shift leaders and people with playstations instead of actual billionaires" post here.

[kieraelieson]

How to do my silly little self online and be paid some pocket money so I can have little treats?

[kieraelieson]

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

[kieraelieson]

I consider this a success! :D

Large slices~ :D

I’m up in the middle of the night with mouth pain, but this time, the pain is only moderate, and I’m making bread~

I tried a weird thing. All the bread I make is too small. The gluten free bread dough I make has to be wetter, and because of that it’s rather limited to the exact size of the pan it’s made in, instead of growing out above it. (I’ve tried, it just kinda flops over the edge)

So I took a round pan, the pan we own with the highest sides, and then I took the outside of a springform pan and set it in the other pan. It happens to sit right near the top of it and extends it by a good two inches upwards!

Now the question is: will the rising dough stay inside, or will it try to seep through the place where the two pan pieces meet?

Hopefully, I’ll end up with a nice big cottage loaf. But we’ll see xD

[kieraelieson]

Trauma didn't make me nice, I consciously made me nice because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did. Trauma didn't make me strong, I made me strong. Don't you dare ever tell me my trauma made me anything but scared, broken, and confused. Don't give credit to the abusers for me being a good person. They didn't make me good, I made myself good.

[kieraelieson]

I’m up in the middle of the night with mouth pain, but this time, the pain is only moderate, and I’m making bread~

I tried a weird thing. All the bread I make is too small. The gluten free bread dough I make has to be wetter, and because of that it’s rather limited to the exact size of the pan it’s made in, instead of growing out above it. (I’ve tried, it just kinda flops over the edge)

So I took a round pan, the pan we own with the highest sides, and then I took the outside of a springform pan and set it in the other pan. It happens to sit right near the top of it and extends it by a good two inches upwards!

Now the question is: will the rising dough stay inside, or will it try to seep through the place where the two pan pieces meet?

Hopefully, I’ll end up with a nice big cottage loaf. But we’ll see xD

#I’ll take a picture when it comes out so you can see what I mean with the pans #my own work #food

[kieraelieson]

everyone should be weirder about their ocs more.

[kieraelieson]

It’s 4 am.

My mouth hurts

Hurry up and Heal, body! I’m so tired of being in pain and not being able to sleep and having such limited food options and 😭😭😭

All my teeth feel slightly wiggly now. And the medicated mouthwash makes them feel weird. Like when you eat a lot of spinach, and they feel weird.

I can fully close my mouth now, but if I do the surgery sites leak blood a lil and it tastes gross. I cannot, however, open my mouth fully yet. It’s still a lil swollen and trying to open it pulls too close to hurt spots.

I very much want bread. Just plain bread. I won’t even chew it, just tear off lil bits and mash them with my tongue.

I also want chicken strips, but those aren’t really tongue mashable.

Somehow, the only way I can sleep right now is in the daytime, with people next to me, and noises. So if my husband is working I play music and lay down near them and then I can sleep. Or I ask if someone will sit in my bed near me and watch a movie while I nap.

The current theory for why is that with all the pain it’s my trauma brain saying ‘can’t sleep unless Familiar and Safe’ and I grew up in a very large family, so it was rarely quiet and I was never alone when I slept. The daytime need doesn’t make as much sense though 🤔

I really thought I would be in less pain by now. I researched the healing process, and most people I saw talking about it were doing way better by day four. I’m feeling better than day one, but I’m still feeling pretty awful. Maybe it’s only the people with easy recoveries that make online recovery posts, or only those posts get popular and thus showed up when I was researching.

I really think I could handle it a lot better if it wasn’t my Mouth. Say I had a broken foot instead? I can separate myself from that pain better. But my mouth is in my head, so it’s Waaaaaay harder to distract or ignore the pain. And then there’s constant bad taste and sensation that leads into nausea, and so much eating restriction.

I feel like gnawing on a teething ring would feel nice. I know it won’t, and it’ll make recovery take longer, but my used-to-be-a-baby brain says ‘chew on some rubber, some cold rubber. That’ll help the teeth break through and stop hurting’.

#vent #I’m a lot calmer and nicer in the daytime when I’ve napped #but middle of the night tired and in pain I get real grumpy and dramatic #teeth

[kieraelieson]

My teeth hurt and my face feels bad.

Specifically, it feels like I need to rub it firmly, to open my mouth as wide as it goes and then chomp down on something. To clench my teeth and wiggle my jaw back and forth. To explore the holes with my tongue.

I know all of those would be harmful to me, so I don’t do them, but it’s Hard.

#I haven’t slept much since getting the teeth out so I’m real grumpy #vent #teeth

[kieraelieson]

I’m well along on the healing process now. I haven’t been sleeping through the night, but I swapped to a different pain med today that I take every 12 hours instead of every 4, and I’m hoping that tonight is different 🤞

The actual wisdom teeth bits aren’t the most sore, surprisingly. My jaw and cheeks muscles are real sore from all the swelling and from holding my mouth in odd positions. And my front teeth are real sore from shifting. It seems the pain meds don’t view shifting teeth as ‘pain’ and so they don’t touch that 😅

I haven’t been eating and drinking enough, especially drinking, my lips were getting all dry and chapped, so my husband made me a gallon of iced tea so I would drink more.

All in all, not fun, but what else did I expect from surgery recovery? This is my first surgery recovery too, I think I’m doing pretty well.

The swelling has gone down a bit, almost by half. I’m hopeful that another day or so and I’ll have my normal face back and be able to close my mouth fully without awkward cheek maneuvering.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, they’re gonna Steal my Teeth!!!! 😭

They will be Torn from my Skull. I will have Holes in me! I will be in pain for dayyyyyyyyyyyysssssssss 😭

I have an appointment to get my wisdom teeth removed and I’m not being at all brave about it! 🥺🥺🥺

They will be gone! Taken! Stolen!

I am scared! And I’m not at all embarrassed about it right now, cause I’m just Ahhhhhhhhhhhh >_<

I know it’s good. I know it’s necessary. I know I need it to happen some time or another regardless of if I do it tomorrow. And that’s why I’m still gonna show up for the appointment and get into the chair.

But at home and on my tumblr I’m gonna complain the whole way until it happens ☹️

#teeth #surgery #blood #I wonder if I Do have to keep tagging every piece of the chain ‘blood’ or if it’s enough that it was tagged earlier 🤔 #tumblr��s tagging system is unpredictable

[kieraelieson]

Dental surgeon: Now don’t do Any suction. No straws, no water bottles, don’t even spit with force, just go mleh and let it fall out of you mouth.

Me, loopy from nitrous: uh huh.. no straws

Me at home recovering, becoming very aware that my default ‘comfy mouth closed’ involves everything suctioned up tight so there’s no air in my mouth.

[kieraelieson]

Sanders sides au were absolutely nothing about them is different except they’re wearing skirts. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I’ll be here all week.

[Consider commissioning me?]

[kieraelieson]

Designing Virgil in the style of nicknames he was given

My Chemically Imbalanced Romance

Scare-amore

Two easy ones. I wonder which one to do next