kingvamps

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call me moses. um. call her. um wait. call me moses the way her bush speaks to me

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The bell

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Kaladin Didn’t Invent Therapy (And Why That’s Actually Great)

“...You need someone to talk to, Noril, when the darkness is strong. Someone to remind you the world hasn’t always been this way; that it won’t always be this way.” “How do you … know this?” Noril asked. “I’ve felt it,” Kaladin said. “Feel it most days.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

I’m writing as someone with a background in psychotherapy and peer support, and I'm bursting with excitement about one of my favourite topics. You can imagine why I love Kaladin’s arc in Rhythm of War so much! I actually yelled out loud when I read some of these parts the first time.

I’ve seen people online saying and making jokes that Kaladin invents therapy, and while that could eventually be true, what Kaladin actually invented in RoW is mental health peer support. Psychotherapy as most people would understand it simply doesn’t exist yet on Roshar. However, peer support is a legitimate modality for healing on its own merits. Even more importantly for the story, peer support is something Kaladin would personally really benefit from, and it fits his narrative arc way better than therapy would.

1. Therapy as we know it won’t exist for a while yet.

“We need to study their responses, use an empirical approach to treatment instead of just assuming someone who has suffered mental trauma is permanently broken.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy “Someone needs to talk to them, try different treatments, see what they think works. What actually helps.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

Obviously, Kaladin has not been educated in battle shock or melancholia or any other diagnosis. In Alethkar there's hardly any knowledge to be had on the subject. Even now in real life, research into effective interventions for various diagnoses is still ongoing, over 100 years after modern therapy was founded.

Building an empirical knowledge base* will take time, not to mention the years it will take to train new therapists across Roshar in how to provide interventions specific to various issues. Therapy as we know it today generally includes time in mentorship with another therapist, so in a way, the first therapist isn't a therapist. 😅 In the meantime, there are people who need help today, including Kaladin.

Peer support can fill that gap because its knowledge base is different. Peers bring their expertise, which is their years of trial and error, successes and failures - their lived experience. Peer facilitators need to know the basics of managing a group, and they have to be willing to share their own experiences and learn from the group. Thus, training peer leaders is relatively quick, and incredibly scalable and adaptable across cultures and many issues/diagnoses.

2. Peer Support is a distinct path to recovery that doesn’t require an expert in therapy.

Kaladin located six men in the sanitarium with similar symptoms. He released them and got them working to support each other. He developed a plan, and showed them how to share in ways that would help...Today they sat in seats on the balcony outside his clinic. Warmed by mugs of tea, they talked. About their lives. The people they’d lost. The darkness. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding “While you can’t force it, having someone to talk to usually helps. You should be letting him meet with others who feel like he does.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25, Devotary of Mercy

Kaladin is already positioning himself to align with the values of peer support. Some of these values overlap with therapy, such as dignity, respect, inclusion, hope, and trust. What makes peer support different is a particular emphasis on equal relationships, self-determination, and personal growth (Peer Support Canada, 2022).

In peer support, the group facilitator is not considered an authority like a therapist would be. A peer leader may be further on the road to recovery, but they may not be. They are expected to listen and grow just like any other group member.

Because the leader of the group is also a learner, peer support groups tend to be more collaborative and open-ended. Everyone in the group has something they can take out of it and something to give. Everyone in the group is responsible for managing their own self care, and everyone in the group is responsible for the direction of their own growth. This is different from most therapy groups, which often have a specific focus or goal that the therapist is responsible for implementing. And speaking of responsibility...

3. Peer Support Fits Kaladin’s Narrative Arc Better than Therapy

At his father’s recommendation—then insistence—Kaladin took it slowly, confining his initial efforts to men who shared similar symptoms. Battle fatigue, nightmares, persistent melancholy, suicidal tendencies. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding …he’d learned—these last few months—that his battle shock could take many forms. He was getting to where he could confront it. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 39 Invasion

I think everyone can agree that Kaladin needs to participate in therapy just as much as the other battle-shocked men he finds in the Devotary of Mercy.

However, in therapy, the focus is solely on the needs of the clients. A therapist should not be distracted by their own issues (when this happens, it’s called countertransference). Further, therapy is generally framed such that the therapist is the only expert in the room, which means therapists have a higher level of responsibility for how the clients are doing (which varies depending on the issue, the therapy modality, and the circumstances).

In his own recovery, Kaladin is working on trying to take less responsibility for others, so setting him up as a therapeutic authority could be harmful for him. In a position of authority, he might be tempted to replicate the hierarchical structure he was in before (which would impede his own growth), or try to save everyone (which could impede everyone's growth). He simply doesn’t have the mentorship or knowledge base he'd need to work through those issues before leading as an expert.

In contrast, the point of peer support is the mutual sharing of lived experience. The group facilitator is expected to share their own struggles (as a model of recovery), and allow others to support them. In the context of a more balanced power dynamic, Kaladin can give the other group members the space they need to grow, and he can pursue his own recovery without feeling like he’s letting others down. Also, he will be able to leave the group during KOWT without worrying that the group won't be able to run without him. Everyone in the group carries some responsibility for each other, so group members can come and go with less stress than a change in therapist would cause in group therapy.

This is the beauty of peer support. It can happen anywhere people with similar experiences get together. No formal education is required. What is required is a willingness to know yourself as well as you can; to share your experiences; to listen to others tell their stories; to question your own assumptions as you learn how others handle things differently; to look out for each other's safety; to care.

Peer support creates a place of belonging and a community repository of shared wisdom. Kaladin almost had it on Bridge Four, but his position of authority wouldn’t allow him to grow the way he needed. Peer support is what Kaladin needs - he needs a place where he can take off his armour among people who get it because they're struggling with similar issues, and without having a position of responsibility over them. When he (eventually**) attends the groups, they help him grow!

Anyway, that's why Kaladin didn’t invent therapy, and why I think that's great.

For the men chatting together softly, the change was in being shown sunlight again. In being reminded that the darkness did pass. But perhaps most important, the change was in not merely knowing that you weren’t alone—but in feeling it. Realizing that no matter how isolated you thought you were, no matter how often your brain told you terrible things, there were others who understood. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding

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*Funny enough, empirical research could lead Rosharan researchers right back to peer support. Empirical research on Earth has shown that modern therapy and peer support have similar levels of effectiveness (for example, for depression and PTSD).

**Look who’s resisting attending the groups he founded…KALADIN!! (shakes fist in the general direction of the sky) (This is the most relatable passage for me in this whole book, by the way, helper types unite lmao):

Kaladin looked down at the table. Had it? Had talking to Noril helped? “He’s been avoiding joining in,” Teft said. “I haven’t,” Kaladin snapped. “I’ve been busy.” Teft gave him a flat stare. Storming sergeants. They always heard the things you weren’t saying. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 38 Rhythm of the Terrors

Peer Support Canada. (2022). Peer Support Core Values. Accessed from https://peersupportcanada.ca/ Jun 27, 2022.

#cosmere #tsa

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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

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as a little boy i could only dream.... now as a young woman i can finally start my new job as an anvil

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my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

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madam director

#taz

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the fact that any video game ever gets made is a fucking miracle, let alone good ones.

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it’s stupid how good of a character luke skywalker is

#star wars

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eroticism of the machine this, eroticism of the machine that. what about the AROMANTICISM of the machine. what about the electric comfort of looking at a beautiful turbine engine and knowing that it is just like you. what about the urge to cut open your chest to prove your heart is made of wires and your ribs are made of steel. what about that

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This wouldn't happen to me if i were a huge dragon

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lady ambassador

#she. #da #dai #undescribed

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Top 5 pathetic Anders moments?

Okay I started compiling my list so I could narrow it down to 5 but I came up with 16 so I’m going to cheat and just post my list as is in no particular order

Earnestly trying to get Fenris to bond with him over suicide ideation

Every time you make the most milquetoast pro mage statement and he looks at you like 🥹 with wonderment and love in his eyes

If you say you don’t want him to move into your house after sleeping together once and he starts acting like an 18th century lady who just had her virtue stolen by a charlatan who had promised to marry her

Asking to move into your house immediately after you sleep together once

Instantly falling for the first person to be nice to him mere hours after being forced to kill his ex boyfriend

Getting mad when Fenris won’t say he could be trusted outside of the circle and vowing to prove it to him

Ok the first time I played DA2 I was being dumb and accidentally chose the options that didn’t save Ella (which high key was so shocking and stakes raising it’s actually my recommendation for your first experience playing DA2) but I went over to Anders after that quest SOOOOO mad at him and he was so incredibly pathetic in the scene where he’s freaking out and trying to leave Kirkwall that I spent the whole time telling him it wasn’t really his fault instead of chewing him out like I intended

That act 3 dialogue where he tries to convince aveline that her husband is scheming against the Templars behind her back. I guess not pathetic if this is actually true but I earnestly believe Anders heard Donnic make one off hand comment once and then convinced himself of a whole story to try to get aveline on his side

Frankly all of Anders’ act 3 dialogue that’s just increasingly stupid and desperate attempts to get people to agree with him

Trying to convince Hawke to leave Fenris or Merrill has to be on this list bc it’s probably him at his most pathetic but they’re too far even for me those scenes are UNBEARABLE to watch

STARTING A WORLD CHANGING REBELLION AND IMMEDIATELY GETTING KICKED OUT BC NOBODY LIKES HIM

If you convince him to side with the Templars in 2 then in DAI Varric says that he got kicked out of kirkwall immediately after for what he did. Imagining that entire series of events makes me want to THROW UP it’s insane

Trying to give Varric a treasured and deeply sentimental possession of his to remember him by only for Varric to give it back bc he thinks he’s being weird

If you kick him out of the party but then side with the mages and he shows up at the gallows asking you to please take him back so he can help

The first time I took Anders on mark of the assassin and the wyvern immediately picked him out as the squishiest member of the party and bolted over to rip him to shreds instantly. I build Anders as mostly support and I wanted his effects on the rest of the party for the fight so I kept reloading my save to try to keep him alive longer than one second but every time the wyvern would go out of its way to brutally kill him at the beginning of every fight until I gave up. Being trapped in a repeating time loop where he is mauled by a wild animal as his friends are helpless to stop it is definitely a top pathetic Anders moment for me

When I was playing a pro templar Hawke and took him, Fenris, and Sebastian with me when we talked to Meredith at the end of that capturing apostates quest and Anders started mouthing off about this all being the Templars’ fault and everyone in the room started bullying the shit out of him

#yeah.. #da #da2

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Hello and happy Friday!! From the 'Kisses' prompt list - cheek kisses. Happy Writing!!

Thank you!! I have Loghain and Anora for @dadrunkwriting this week:

The ceremony is already running late when he steps into Anora’s room, and all the maids shuffle out without a word.

“Hello,” she says, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. 

For a moment he is tempted to soothe her. To tell her she does not have to go through with it. But because he swore never to lie to his daughter, he simply says. “You look beautiful.”

“Do I look like a princess?” They’ve made her up like one, drawn her eyes heavy with liner and rouged her cheeks, but when he looks at her face, all he can see are the traces of that impossibly tiny babe that wouldn’t let go of his thumb even in sleep.

“You have always been fit for this, Anora. More than capable.”

“Thank you, Da,” she grins. It is a habit Celia never could train out of her. Father, Papa, nothing stuck. “Though I am not so worried.” She reaches to adjust the bodice of her gown, smoothing the pleats that dip into the skirt. He should tell her to stop fiddling, but it’s such a motion reminiscent of childish Anora that he’s nothing but charmed. “It will not be any different, will it?” she continues. “Cailan has always been around. Cailan has always listened to me.”

Cailan, Cailan. That boy, to him, though it may be treason. Always trailing after her, hanging on Anora's every word. He steps in front of her to straighten the folds of her dress, and she leans up to sneak a kiss onto his cheek. He wants nothing more than to hug her again. But it would undo all of the work, and image is everything today. 

“Things can change when you marry.”

“Let us hope they do not, then.”

I’ll be here whenever you need me. Another thing he cannot promise. The queen must learn to stand on her own. But the queen is his daughter, after all, and it pains him to let go. 

“Chin up, Da,” she says, relaxing once more into the girl he knows. 

“Is that so?” He can hear the impatient rush of footsteps beyond, the rest of the castle moving on without them. There's not enough time, he thinks. There will never be enough time. Briefly, he thinks that maybe this is all getting away from him; that he should take Anora's small hand in his and they should go back home, where Celia will be waiting and they will all go to bed. An inane thought.

“Are you ready?”

He lifts the veil over her head, letting it fall across her face, cutting her off from his view. 

“Your Majesty,” he whispers, and he can imagine exactly the glint of satisfaction that will embed itself in her eyes then, this little bit of sacrilege for a father and his daughter. As if they are playing pretend again. He imagines it with such clarity that it makes no difference whether it is truly there or not. 

He offers her his hand, and she takes it, her fingers curling around his thumb.

#oh this ones making me crazy #da #dao

[kingvamps]

i dont think fandom people who only think about male characters and only create content for male characters are like horrible misogynists but i do think they often have some shit they need to unpack. like how can you , for example, play life is strange and the only thing you come away with from that is you want nathan and warren to fuck nasty. how can you watch birds of prey, and the only thing you come away with from that is you want roman and victor to fuck nasty......... like idk! idk! i just find it strange especially when people will engage with media Specifically about women and then put no effort in to empathize or care about them, sometimes even going far enough to say they HATE the female characters and that theyre bitches... IDK!!!!

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Discord Server

If you've ever wanted to help with image descriptions, there is now a discord server for exactly that! Whether you're an artist wanting to learn how to do alt text, or a fan wanting to increase accessibility for your fellow fans, you can join us, ask questions, and get support.

DM @cosmereplay to get an invite link to the Cosmere Described discord server!

#cosmere #:D!