kinnxporsche

[kinnxporsche]

Tommy Kinard has GAMEEEE.

#911 #911 fox #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #tommy kinard #tommy x buck #buck x tommy #kinkley #tommybuck #bucktommy

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buddie + secret relationship

(9-1-1 // gif prompts)

#buddie #911edit #911 #911 fox #please I need it #gimme #omw to read fanfics I guess

[kinnxporsche]

so good. love in the air episode 6

#love in the air #payurain #lita #chowp si #love the way he says it

[kinnxporsche]

Noah Schnapp

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

DOB: 3 October 2004  

Ethnicity: Russian Jewish, Moroccan Jewish

Nationality: Canadian

Occupation: Actor, Youtuber

#noah schnapp #lgbtq #he is the moment

[kinnxporsche]

Noah before Vol 2: Will’s sexuality is up to interpretation 🥰 there needs to be no label, and either way Will’s love for Mike is really beautiful

Noah, after Vol 2: Okay we can cut the bullshit, it’s now clear that Will is gay and in love with Mike

Noah, 2023: Btw I’m gay too

#he is an icon #legend #king #best character and best actor #noah schnapp #will byers #stranger things

[kinnxporsche]

Joe reacting on Noah’s video. ♥️ I love them.

#noah schnapp #stranger things #will byers #stranger things will #joe locke #heartstopper #I LOVE THE SUPPORT AND SOLIDARITY

[kinnxporsche]

noah if you want to seek financial compensation for any potential psychological damage caused by playing will byers i will back ur claim in court bc imagine being closeted and having to hear finn wolfhard say “its not my fault you dont like girls” to ur face. i personally would want a payout for that.

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[kinnxporsche]

My relationship with content creation and hobbies, in general, got a lot better when I started learning to reframe it as a simple act of human creation, and not a metric of my own self worth.

We’re taught competition, and perfectionism, and shame. If I say “I cook” I must add “(but not well)”. If I say “I run” I must say “(but I am not good at it).” I say “I code (but I mostly know frontend).” I create and express and my first impulse is to guard against embarrassment. Lest I fall so short of marketable competence. Lest I subject myself to the mockery of being caught creating poorly. I wound myself first so others may not.

Even the advice that fights against this says “your only goal should be to be better than yourself yesterday.” But why must I be in competition with her? What happens, after the initial rapid climb in skill, when I plateau? What of injury, and atrophy, and depression, that flake these skills away? Must I return feeling compelled to over-achieve? To wallow in embarrassment until I can surpass my own previous record? To hate my work until the reception, the notes, the engagement outperform an ever rising bar? I do not want to be paralyzed by the mountains I built behind me. Why should I look behind myself when there’s a wide swath of untilled Earth that stretches far out of sight ahead of me? I want to enjoy my work, and my mediocrity, moving forward with all its ebbs and flows.

At my worst, I was nothing. I was not a writer. Because I had forgone writing for all the fear and stress and damage to my self-worth that it wrought. I was not a coder. Because I was only useful for the niches of my job, and didn’t have the heart to create something badly, on my own, for fun, lest it confirm my suspicions of mediocrity. I was not even a runner - despite the extreme and exhaustive amount of time I sunk into it - because I fell short of my previous self, and I could not hold a candle to the actually-skilled runners, and I was forced to speak of this hobby in all those guarded terms - “but i am not good” - because of how much that ate at me. 

I was no cook, and no homemaker, and no creator, because when I did those things, (I did them poorly.) 

And when all these came together, I wallowed in emptinesses. (I still do, sometimes. It’s hard and complicated). Because emptiness is what was left when I stripped myself of the things and the pursuits whose lack of value could be used to hurt me.

The change for me - the change, I think - came at the time I started to recognize that I do not deserve self-punishment for my mediocrities, for the failings of my current state of being. It was not a revelation all at once. It was a slow and progressive flirting with the idea, found almost by accident on self-help youtube channels of a very particular ilk. It came with the recognition that I had trapped myself, wiling away my time and my energy, in a state of constant apology, and shame, and self-correction for the mediocrities I dare not unleash onto the world. I boxed myself up with the promise “once I am good enough, I will be allowed to come back out”, and that was a lie. I would never have come back out. I was chasing punishing metrics of self-improvement that I did not need, and would never actually catch and maintain, and which would never love me back.

It took a long time to internalize this. It took a long time to get angry on my own behalf. It took a long time to act on it, and write again because fuck you. To run on my own terms, at my own pace, for my own enjoyment because fuck you. To create with my hands again because fuck you. To lean into the happiness of creation that I had not “earned”, because fuck you.

I like creating because it fills an emptiness that used to be there. It’s so simple, and so lovely, that humans are like this. That we want to build with our hands. That we want to assemble and construct. That we derive joy from stacking pieces together, and stringing words together, and assembling colors on a page, and moving, and singing, and baking, and knitting. Humans love to build little worlds around them. 

So why must we so actively try to cut people off from it off from it? Why do we condition ourselves to fear its mediocrity? Why does this still our hands? Why do we suffocate it for ourselves, before others can? I don’t have an answer. I can only recognize the monster. 

I want to make bad art today. I want to make bad art tomorrow. If I am a worse writer tomorrow, I want that to be fine. If I am never more than a mediocre runner, I want to be at complete peace with that. Because if not, then I might box away my hobbies again, and my loves, and my pursuits. I might go back to empty. I might go back to nothing.

I hate that emptiness I lived through. I hate that nothing. I want to make bad art for the rest of my life. 

[kinnxporsche]

Cat witch party

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come get ya juice

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anyone else in desperate need of dinluke interaction

cause sis me too 

[kinnxporsche]

#vegaspete #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series

[kinnxporsche]

The fun thing about having a Tumblr is that I don't have to go through the very taxing exercise of choosing the perfect series to hyperfixate on. Tumblr will just continuously show me gifset of two gays like it's a sign from God saying "here, these are your new support gays, cherish them" and that's that yk. It really saves me a lot of trouble

[kinnxporsche]

"x ship is normalizing incest-"

Buddy

If game of thrones hasn't normalized incest by now (pulling over 10 million views in the 7th season alone) then a small fandom ship most certainly won't

[kinnxporsche]

I made a uquiz that will guess your fandom age based on your answers!

#Unknowable Chaos Gremlin #wow

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vegas looking at pete through the episodes

#kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #vegaspete #op this is everything I ever needed In my life