klep-the-bard

[klep-the-bard]

If anon is reading this it could also be any of these:

https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Wied%C5%BAmin%20%7C%20The%20Witcher%20-%20All%20Media%20Types/works?commit=Sort+and+Filter&include_work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=1915937&page=1&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=T&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=Alternate+Universe+-+Modern+Setting%2CSinger+Jaskier+%7C+Dandelion&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=hits&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=

Just to cover all bases!

I come to you in a time of desperation. I have been looking for a particular Geraskier fic with no luck so I decided to turn to tumblr, I site I've never used before but know is well versed in fandoms. It's a modern AU with Jaskier as a singer and Geralt as a hitman for a criminal organization, but as he grows to love Jaskier he starts thinking he may want to get out of the business. It's explicit and (from what I recall) decently long. Not a one shot. Could you or someone you know help me?

Ah a fic quest! Tumblr is 99% fandom so you've def come to the right place. I asked around and someone suggested this? https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426978/chapters/53584351

May or may not be what you're looking for but seems to match your description.

#geraskier #fic search #jaskier #geralt #fanfic #asks

[klep-the-bard]

OK but like imagine if Jaskier had no clue what his nickname truly meant

And it was just like an affectionate thing his grandma always called him and she never explained it cos she was from the Old Country and he never asked so it just kinda stuck?

Then years later he plays in a nobleman’s court somewhere and he introduces himself as Jaskier and the Noble is like: ...your name is Dandelion?

And Jaskier pauses confused like: Jaskier, milord, J-A-S-

Noble: Yes, which translates to Dandelion from X dialect? *looks at advisor*

Advisor: Indeed, milord

And Jaskier freezes for a second as everyone is looking at him weirdly and he just goes: ...Exactly milord, Dandelion, for I brighten the room and have a delectable scent!

And he just rolls with it for the rest of the gig, leaves the court, gets outside and leans against a wall midlife crisis style like: Of course she’d name me after a fucking weed

#the witcher #jaskier #dandelion #witcher shitposts #klep's shitposts #witcher

[klep-the-bard]

I come to you in a time of desperation. I have been looking for a particular Geraskier fic with no luck so I decided to turn to tumblr, I site I've never used before but know is well versed in fandoms. It's a modern AU with Jaskier as a singer and Geralt as a hitman for a criminal organization, but as he grows to love Jaskier he starts thinking he may want to get out of the business. It's explicit and (from what I recall) decently long. Not a one shot. Could you or someone you know help me?

Ah a fic quest! Tumblr is 99% fandom so you've def come to the right place. I asked around and someone suggested this? https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426978/chapters/53584351

May or may not be what you're looking for but seems to match your description.

#geraskier #fic search #fanfic #jaskier #geralt #asks

[klep-the-bard]

how often do we think vesemir does the parent thing of mixing up names when calling the wolves? “ger-es-LAMBERT! PUT IT DOWN!”

jaskier knows he’s really been accepted into the pack when a “jas-” gets thrown in there one day.

#vesemir #kaer morons #The witcher #Wolves

[klep-the-bard]

Ready to get bardcore? The Witcher’s Joey Batey, aka Jaskier aka everyone’s favorite bard, will be answering some of your burning questions during his Answer Time on December 17th at 12pm PT / 3pm ET.

Ask Away: netflix.tumblr.com/ask

The Witcher season two premieres December 17th on Netflix.

#the witcher #joey batey #jaskier

[klep-the-bard]

#bahahaha #witcher #the witcher #witcher shitposts

[klep-the-bard]

HAT

#jaskier #joey batey #witcher #witcher season 2 #the witcher #witchercon

[klep-the-bard]

Anya Chalotra for WitcherCon, which you can stream here @ 10am PST/6pm BST

#witchercon #The witcher #anya chalotra

[klep-the-bard]

GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS GIF. GONNA YELL ABOUT THIS GIF. AND ABOUT HOW YALL (you know who you are and so do i) HAVE GENUINELY GOT TO STOP MISREPRESENTING JASKIER. LOOK AT THIS BIG BITCH. LOOK AT HIM. BROAD. TALL. HAIRY. STONG AS HELL. HOT.

JASKIER AND GERALT ARE WALKING SIDE BY SIDE. THEIR ARMS BRUSH. THEY ARE NEXT TO EACH OTHER. THEY ARE THE SAME SIZE. DARE I SAY JASKIER MAY BE EVER SO SLIGHTLY BROADER THAN HIS WITCHER MAYHAPS. LOOK AT HIM. THEY ARE BOTH BIG. BOTH BIG. BARD? BIG. WITCHER? BIG. LARGE. IT IS RIGHT THERE.

AND I’LL TELL YA WHY I’M YELLING. BECAUSE JASKIER HAS GOT TO STOP BEING SHOWN IN OTHER WORKS (fics, art, etc) AS A DAINTY AND SHORT TWIG BABY. THIS MAN?????? JULIAN ALFRED PANKRATZ??????? DANDELION?????? THAT IS A BIG MAN. STOP BEING FOOLED. STOP PARTICIPATING IN THIS TOMFOOLERY.

DRAW HIM IN CUTE FRILLY CLOTHES AND MAKEUP AND TBH MOSTLY WHATEVER YOU WANT. MAKE HIM PRETTY AS YOU WISH. BUT STOP GETTING HIS PHYSIQUE WRONG. THIS IS NO TWINK. THIS IS A BIG BUFF BARD WHO TAKES ZERO SHIT FROM ANY BITCH INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WITCHERS. TO PORTRAY JASKIER/GERALT AS “ONE BIG HUGE MAN AND ONE TINY UWU TWINK” IS BAD. YOU GET HOW THAT’S BAD, RIGHT????? IT’S BAD AND OFFENSIVE AND STUPID AND INCORRECT.

JASKIER IS A LOVING AND KIND AND SOFT AND SWEET AND CHARMING AND PATIENT MAN BUT HE IS NOT A LITTLE FRAIL FLOWER. HE IS BEAUTIFUL LIKE A FLOWER. BUT HE IS NOT ONE. HE IS NOT A DAMSEL. HE IS NOT A BABY. HE IS LARGE AND BROAD AND MUSCULAR AND STRONG. HE IS A FULL GROWN ADULT MAN BUILT EXTREMELY SIMILARLY LIKE HIS WITCHER COUNTERPART. STOP INFANTALIZING HIM AND MAKING HIM OFFENSIVELY SMALLER AND DAINTIER THAN GERALT. LOOK AT HIM. IS THAT A LITTLE MAN? NO. KNOCK IT OFF. JUST STOP. IT IS SO EASY.

#jaskier #geralt #witcher #the witcher #geraskier

[klep-the-bard]

Geralt breathlessly recounting to his brothers and Vesemir the bards scandalous behavior every winter! Having to confess with burning cheeks that Jaskier has been stealing indirect kisses with alarming repetition in addition to his usual scandalous fashion sense. Perhaps even mentioning that he wore an indecent creation called a bathing suit that left his whole calves and forearms bare to view! Eskel needs witcher smelling salts and Geralt's fainting couch.

Geralt, setting the Kaer Morhen sitting room all aflutter: Can you imagine, we’re in the middle of a tavern, and Jaskier picks up my tankard and drinks from it, with our very lips touching the same wood, I tell you, my heart was quite fit to burst.

Vesemir, clapping his hands over Lambert’s ears: Geralt! There will be no talking such wanton filth in front of your younger brother! He is not yet wise enough in the ways of the world to hear such things.

Lambert: Oh but papa Vesemir, I want a bard too!

Vesemir: We have quite enough to deal with here with one scandalous bard, thank you very much. Now back to your sewing.

#amazing #canon #kaer morhen #the witcher

[klep-the-bard]

5 minutes later:

#witcher crack #witcher #jaskier #geralt #yennefer

[klep-the-bard]

at this point though Jaskier has been so built up as a fanon construct that no matter how he appears, people are doomed to be disappointed.

#jaskier #the witcher

[klep-the-bard]

After a particularly messy monster kill:

Jaskier: *blasts Geralt with a hose*

Geralt: *bites water like a dog*

#the witcher #Geraskier

[klep-the-bard]

You have no idea, Tumbeasts

You ever just... yell about #jaskier??

#Jaskier #the witcher #memories

[klep-the-bard]

Andrey as Geralt KalinkaFox as Ciri

 photo, make-up by me

https://www.instagram.com/milliganvick/

#the witcher #Geralt #ciri #cosplay

[klep-the-bard]

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmn-

“Am I overdressed?” (Jaskier) - 2020

I saw a tweet by tobi_ornot2be saying how Jaskier would look good in this outfit and I totally agree ^^

#jaskier #jaskier art #witcher art

[klep-the-bard]

Pure and Dumb: A Summary

#geralt #jaskier #geraskier #the witcher #witcher gifs #wow #accurate