kryptoreads

[kryptoreads]

M.O. Grenby, who has studied children's books from the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, discovered that some children not only wrote their names in their books but also wrote threats to beat up children who might steal them.

The Broadview Introduction to Book History, Michelle Levy & Tom Mole.

#The Broadview Introduction to Book History #Michelle Levy & Tom Mole #now reading #children are wild #but I prolly would've done the same lmao

[kryptoreads]

Winter term is officially over, so that finally gives me more time to start posting here again.

[kryptoreads]

I'm happy for Ezra—at least, I should be. This is his first maybe-boyfriend since Declan, and that was a couple years ago now. But I can't help the twinge of jealousy, either. It seems like everyone around me is always falling in love.     "Don't worry," Ezra says. "You're still my number one."     "Who's worried? I'm not worried."

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

Ezra smirks at me and plops a big hand on top of my curls. "I love you, Felix. Okay?"     I glance up at him, and Ezra's watching me without looking away, just staring at me, waiting for me to say something—for any sort of reaction—but what the hell do I say to that? Ezra's never said I love you like that before. I know it's supposed to be something friends who love one another can say, in theory, but…it makes me feel a little too vulnerable right now.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #felix ever after #now reading #this is making me cry #when is it my turn gdi #will I ever have my own Ezra #or will I be stuck being nobody's Ezra #he's in love with you

[kryptoreads]

"Listen," he says, "I don't mean anything bringing up the gallery. I was just making a point—" "You don't get to use my pain to make your point."

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

Declan Keane wants to be in love—and he may or may not have loved Ezra. It's a strange thing to suddenly know about him. It was easier not knowing. Easier not to see him as a person with feelings, when he's been such a piece of shit…

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

luckyliquid95: I guess I just…haven't experienced enough to make the kind of art I want to make. How am I supposed to make people feel things, if I've never felt anything myself?

A few seconds pass, and then:

thekeanester123: Yeah. I know what you mean.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #man why'd this book gotta attack me so much?

[kryptoreads]

Ezra's a lazy drunk. He shrugs with a slow smile. "I honestly don't care that much about labels. I mean, I know they're important to a lot of people, and I can see why—I'm not knocking them. It's just…I kind of wish we could exist without having to worry about putting ourselves into categories. if there were no straight people, no violence or abuse or homophobia or anything, would we even need labels, or would we just be? Sometimes I wonder if labels can get in the way. Like, if I'm adamant that I'm straight, does that force me into only liking girls? What if that'd stopped me from falling in love with a guy? I don't know," he says again. "I get that labels can be important."

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #labels talk #talking labels

[kryptoreads]

"The shows aren't making people gay," Austin says. "They're just making people realise it's even…I don't know, a possibility. It's like we're all brainwashed from the time we're babies to think that we have to be straight."     "The straights say that we've got an agenda to turn people gay," Marisol says, "but then will try to force toddlers on each other and say its so cute and they're destined to get married. Seriously."

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #queer talk #LGBTQ+ talk #spoilers: the fact that these two had to say was hard to post #I almost skipped out on this part but they do have a point #but for those who've already read the book: y'all should understand why I almost wanted to throw up

[kryptoreads]

What if I'd been one of the folks who knew, without a doubt, that they were trans since the time they were toddlers? How many years have I wasted living this lie, and all because I haven't even known that I could've been living my truth all along? But I'm also grateful. Happy that I'd figured it out at all.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

I don't want anyone to see this picture. It feels too vulnerable. Too lonely.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

Why am I always the person who just sits to the side and watches? What is it about me that no one likes, that no one wants? It's like it's too much for other people—me having brown skin, and being queer, and being trans on top of that … or, maybe that's just what I tell myself because I'm too afraid to put myself out there again, too afraid of being rejected and getting hurt. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #transgender #transboy

[kryptoreads]

…Everyone's shorts and skirts and sneakers and platform heels surround me while I sit on the mattress, back against the wall, watching.     Watching, watching, watching. It feels like that's all I ever do sometimes. Watch other people dance, watch other people kiss.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

I need his validation. His understanding, not just his acceptance, that he has a son. I'm not sure that's something he'll ever give me.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #transgender #transboy

[kryptoreads]

"I'm trying," he says. "I've shown you that. I've proven that. I don't always get it right, but I'm trying to understand."

Sometimes, I don't know if that's enough. I feel like a shitty son, getting angry at my dad when he's the one who paid for my hormones, my doctors' visits, my surgery, everything—but every time I'm around him, I feel like I have to work hard to prove that I am who I say I am. It pisses me off that he doesn't just accept it. That there's soemthing he has to understand in the first place.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #transgender #transboy

[kryptoreads]

The questions make me freeze. I could do anything, but it somehow feels like I don't have any options. I can already feel the years of hard work, resulting in nothing but my average grades and less-than-average test scores, going down the drain. My dad's going to be disappointed. He'll smile and say that he's proud of me, but how could he not be disappointed? He's given up everything for me, for this education, so that I could do something great with my life—and instead, I'm sitting here with nothing but a blank, white canvas.

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading

[kryptoreads]

"I want to be in love. I've never, you know—felt the kind of passion great artists talk about. I want that. I want to feel that level of intensity. Not everyone wants love. I get that, you know? But me—I want to fall in love and be broken up with and get pissed and grieve and fall in love all over again. I've never felt any of that. I've just been doing the same shit. Nothing new. Nothing exciting."

Kacen Callender, Felix Ever After.

#Kacen Callender #Felix Ever After #now reading #falling in love #me too Felix #honestly me too #we're the same #but unfortunately only one of us actually gets to have our wish come true