The purest thing I have ever read
[at Shutoku after practice]
TAKAO: Good work guys!
MIDORIMA: Good work everyone.
OTSUBO: Yeah, good work.
MIYAJI: Hey, Midorima.
MIDORIMA: What is it?
MIYAJI: I’ve been wondering for a while now, what is that pink thing you’re holding, a lion?
MIDORIMA: Yes, this is the lion Hana-chan from the safari zoo.
TAKAO: Oh, really! There’s a tag that says this was a limited edition zoo thing?
MIDORIMA: I bought it the last time I went to the zoo.
KIMURA: Even you go to the zoo, huh?
MIDORIMA: From time to time.
TAKAO: Let me guess. To get lucky items.
MIDORIMA: Is there something wrong with that?
KIMURA: The safari zoo. I’ve never been, actually.
OTSUBO: Same here. Actually, I have no idea how long it’s even been since I went to any type of zoo.
MIYAJI: Yeah, I think the last time I went to one was the field trip in elementary school.
TAKAO: Same goes for me, huh.
OTSUBO: You know what, this is a great opportunity. Let’s all go to the zoo.
TAKAO: Holy shit, for real?
OTSUBO: Yeah, why not do it once in a while?
MIYAJI: Sounds great to me!
OTSUBO: You want to too, Midorima?
MIDORIMA: Yes I do.
TAKAO: Alright! The zoo is gonna be so fun, Shin-chan!
[end of chapter 1]
[and so, that weekend; at the zoo]
TAKAO: Uwah! This park goes on for miles in every direction!
OTSUBO: I don’t know where to look first.
MIDORIMA: There were maps at the entrance. [hands them out]
MIYAJI: Nice, thanks, Midorima! Uhh… [flips pages]
TAKAO: It’s really huge, huh. What do you want to go see first?
[choice: pandas / shoebills / hawks]
OTSUBO: Oh, they have hawks.
TAKAO: Really? I want to see those too.
MIDORIMA: They are your comrades nanodayo.
OTSUBO: Hmmmm, even hawks have several different subtypes. This was good, Takao.
TAKAO: Then let’s go around to the top! We have lots of time, I think we can look at them a lot.
OTSUBO: We sure can.
MIYAJI: Alright! Let’s go!
TAKAO: Hey, Shin-chan. Don’t the others look like they totally shook off all their worries?
MIDORIA: Yes, it is like they are back to their childhood wonder.
TAKAO: This is where they keep the largest animals.
KIMURA: Wow! Giraffes!
MIYAJI: With their long-ass necks.
TAKAO: Hey, are they chewing something?
MIDORIMA: Yes, they seem to be eating something.
OTSUBO: Wow, they have a feed-the-giraffes exhibit!
TAKAO: Oh! People get to feed them?
KIMURA: They seem to be wolfing down those carrots!
MIYAJI: Haha… giraffes’ tongues are long, too.
OTSUBO: It says here that they are over 40 centimeters long.
TAKAO: This is the first time I’ve ever seen a giraffe’s tongue!
MIYAJI: Hm? Oh! Look, in that cage there’s a lion!
TAKAO: A lion!!!
[end of chapter 2]
KIMURA: For real? Cool!
OTSUBO: What a great mane!
TAKAO: Aww, it’s stretching like a cat!
MIDORIMA: Hmm… a cat…
OTSUBO: Guys, you do know that a lion is part of the cat family.
MIYAJI: Oh, they have a plaque with information.
TAKAO: So really! Here we go, “all about the lion”… “The female lion is hana-chan…” So this is the one that Shin-chan’s pink lion is based on! It’s not pink in real life, though.
MIDORIMA: You idiot. A real lion would never be pink.
OTSUBO: So this is the notorious Hana-chan…
TAKAO: “The boy lion is Sora-kun… They are both in good health and enthusiastic eaters. And they love humans.” Uhhhhhhhhh…….
HANA-CHAN AND SORA-KUN: [growling]
MIDORIMA: This is dangerous.
MIDORIMA: What is it?
TAKAO: Over there it says you can go and hold Hana-chan and Sora-kun’s baby!
MIYAJI: Holy shit, I have NEVER seen a baby lion in real life!
OTSUBO: Yeah, this is my first time.
KIMURA: Okay, let’s go pick up baby lions! [running]
OTSUBO AND MIYAJI: Yeah! [running]
TAKAO: Sempais, please wait! Shin-chan, let’s go too!
[end of chapter 3]
TAKAO: This baby lion is so fucking cute!
STAFF: Her name is Midori-chan. She is still small so please hold her gently.
TAKAO: Then… upsidaisy… Her fur is so soft! Cute… Alright, your turn Miyaji-san!
MIYAJI: W-woah. You better pass her over gently! If you surprise her, she’ll make sad kitty eyes.
TAKAO: Alright! Then here.
MIYAJI: Woah! She’s warm… I cannot fucking believe she’ll get so big one day.
OTSUBO: Yes, she is almost like a normal housecat.
TAKAO: Otsubo-san and Miyaji-san make her look even smaller when you hold her, haha.
OTSUBO: We do?
KIMURA: Shit… she’s got little paw padsies… [poking them gently]
TAKAO: Really? I want to touch those too! Woah? They’re soft! [poking gently]
OTSUBO: Apparently the paws are only soft when they are young.
TAKAO: I see, so just now… [still poking] I want it to stay this way but I also want it to get bigger…
KIMURA: I so understand how you feel, man.
MIYAJI: Here, Midorima! It’s your turn!
MIDORIMA: …yes. …
TAKAO: Shin-chan, what’s wrong?
[end of chapter 4]
TAKAO: You keep not moving.
MIDORIMA: That is because I cannot move.
MIYAJI: Are you scared? It’ll be fine, this is just a child.
MIDORIMA: That is not the issue…
OTSUBO: Awww, it fell asleep.
MIDORIMA: Yes. If I move, I shall awaken it
TAKAO: I see~
MIDORIMA: It should wake up soon, so we should watch closely.
TAKAO: Right! Also, its negao is so cute~
MIDORIMA: [smiling] It is.
[outside in the zoo]
TAKAO: That was fun~ Oh, Shin-chan, did you buy a “Midori-chan” toy?
TAKAO: I splurged on one too~ Midori-chan is just so fucking cute.
OTSUBO: That’s right. To tell the truth, I also sprang for a strap.
KIMURA: I went for a Sora-kun clearfile! Miyaji?
MIYAJI: I bought a “Hana-chan, Sora-kun, Midori-chan” family portrait mug.
TAKAO: Wow, we all bought something, huh? The next time we come Midori-chan will probably be way bigger.
MIDORIMA: I would love to come see the adult… Midori-chan.
OTSUBO: Yeah, let’s all come together again when she grows up.
MIDORIMA AND TAKAO: Yes!