Today it is graduation day. His dad asked me to go to his school this morning, because his professer called them last night and they decided to give him degree. He was worry about his master degree, and now, he must be very happy.
Diego was supposed to be an environmental art designer. He always complain how much he does not like this job, but the salary and bonus are very very good, he might make his first one million very soon, so he can move to europe and start a new life there, which is his dream. But he can not go anywhere now.
He asked me to type this letter down for him and post it on his blog after he pass away. Because he could not write to everyone, his arms even could not move. He smiled and teared when we wrote this letter, I can tell how much he liked you and how sad he was.
That day was his birthday. We spent the whole afternoon to write this letter. He was so weakness and fell asleep very soon after we done. His body got worse on sunday, they sent him into ICU again. The last time I saw him was the day before he died. He woke up once for about one minute, the nurse said he opened his eyes and stared at her. But I didn't see that. That was the last minute he saw this world.
I didn't go to his funeral, it is so hard, I am still feeling sad when I think anything of him. And I should log in his blog and post this letter a month ago, but there was a time I even don't want to hear his name. It is sad. He was and will always be my best friend.
Today it is a big day for him, I think it is the right time to do what I promised to him. Here is what he left to you.
It’s been long time no see you, I miss you super much. I wish I can still be there to talk with you guys, but my head and body are fucking me, I can’t control them. This is the last message I leave to you guys. I already died when you read it. I love you guys, and I am so glad and grateful to know you in my life.
Mel, my best sister, how are you. I am so sorry I didn't come back that saturday night, I shouldn't go out, it was about noon and bloody cold outside, why the fuck I decided to go out, I am so stupid. I remembered that you said you want to tell me something that night, and I am super wondering what it is, that bitch make trouble to you again? or you really punched her and grabbed her ugly dress down like what I told you to do? I wish they fired her already, she is super annoying, a real slut. But like I always say, just ignore her and tell your boss what she did if she still makes trouble to you. She is stupid, all the people like you, but her, she gets mental issue. The jealousy makes her foolish, she must be very painful whenever she meets you haha, like咬牙切齿(Yao Ya Qie Chi). She is actually a poor thing, we should sorry for her, don't let her make you down ok?…Oh, you know what, I was thinking about to take a picture for you. Trust me, you won’t recognize me at all if we meet on street. because of the medicines and hormone, I am bloody fat now. Actaully Chen took one, but I asked him to delete it very soon. Hahaha. I can’t let anyone to see this fat me, you know me haha. I wish I could die beautiful, but now, damn! look at me. Can I ask them to send me to south korea first :p Now you are going to say Choy Choy Choy to me right? Haha, that doctor said I am dying, so it doesn't matter now. oh oh, forget to tell you, I dreamed Ben Allen again, twice, Yay! and Alex Dunstan, Tom Webb and my Matthew, they were all my classmates in my dreams, gosh, I want a boyfriend, stop being my classmates ok? and we didn't do anything. Ewwwww. Tom Nicon, remember him? remember I told you once I dreamed Martin Conte, it was the graduation day, he saw me and ran to me, but a car crushed him down? That dream was the same story, but I saw Tom first and I called his name very loudly, he turned around, smiled to me, he looks like an angle, I ran to him, but the damn car crushed me down, duh, then I woke up. That dream was so real. I think Tom is an real angle now, and he is coming for me. if I can see him again in heaven, then it is not too bad to die, haha…now your little bro want to tell you a secret, I planned to go to singapore at your wedding day, I’ve been thinking about it for almost one year, that would be a big surprise, won’t it? But I can’t make it come true now, I wish you will meet that right man soon, and marry to him, and then move to north europe. Haha. I will pray for you every second in heaven.You must be happy all the time,sister. I love you ❤
Alex and Andrey, my bros, I miss you guys. There must be many interesting things happened in the past 2 months. I am super bored, they don't allow me to use internet, I can’t read news, check out my blogs, and read your email anymore, but E~~~~mail me please, tell me all the things, so we can still have connections after I die :p I am so selfish, haha, don't send to my yahoo mail, they will delete my account in few months if I don't log in.J
Alex, you are the most nicest guy I’ve ever meet. You are smart and goodlooking, but you really wanna be a picky man forever, don't you? You are 24 years old already, 30 is waving hands to you, wake up, wake up! just go to find a real boyfriend in real life, ok? Matthew Bell, Benjamin Ediem, Arthur Gosse has girlfriends, even our queen B is straight (WTF, can you believe it, he is straight.), they won’t fuck you, it is unreal to find a hot gay super model boyfriend, you will die alone for sure if you still have this silly dream, like me. Look at you bae, you are pretty and hot, Andrey told me there are tons of hot guys are fucking you with their eyes when they see you on street, move your ass out of your room and hang out with him or other friends ok? you are wasting your life. Haha, don’t call me mom, bitch, I know you are yelling ”Are you my mom?” when you read this.
And Andrey, don't cry for me. I know you will cry like a bitch, but don't, have I ever tell you that you are super ugly when you cry, I was laughing out loudly in my mind while you were crying last time we skyped, I should screenshot a picture and send to Pavel, and see if he still love you. hahaha. He is a good guy, I know I said don't go back to him many times, but you know, I didn't mean it, I was just so angry. But you know, the thing is it is not easy to find a good guy who really love you in this circle. He really loves you, and you love him too, you should just forgive him.You always say ‘Men thinks with their pennis?’ come on, He got drunk, you can’t expect a drunk man still can control his drunk pennis. He only did it once in your 3 years relationship, plus he was actually raped by that bitch that night. So please call him right now, ok? and don’t let him get drunk again. Tell him I like him, but he has no opportunity to hit my butt in this life. Haha. And please promise me that you will take care of Alex. Take him to club or party from time to time, or go shopping, just don't let him stay at home alone all the time. He can just stare at those model’s photos for whole day and night in front of his laptop. Those models are hot, but they are unreal, there are many hot boys in Russia, ask Pavel to introduce some good guy to him, ok? You don't want to see he is still a virgin when he gets 30, right? (OMG, he will kill me if he see this, but I am truely worry about him.) Be friends with him forever ok? I love you guys super super super super much. Don't forget me bitches.
Alvaro, buddy, I’m dying, so can you trust me that I don't hate you? haha, I know I stop being friend with you for almost a year, but to me, you are always a friend, a good friend. And I didn't do what that strange girl said, I have to say this, this is only thing make me disappoint between us, you should believe me and I should just let it go. But I’m dying now, so whatever. And buddy, I can’t go to knock at your door anymore. And I am pretty sure you won’t die alone. Just be happy!
Alvin, I am thinking how many times we back to each other, at least 10? That was so stupid and funny. How childish we were. We know each other so long and so much, remember those stupid nonsense conversations we talked from night till the next day’s morning? That was unforgettable. But Alvin, You are a real bitch, which I can’t stop liking, too many bad things happened between us tho, I am not regreting to know you in my life.
Bloody weird, I thought over for mins, I thought I have many things to say to you, maybe we talked too much before? I suddenly don't know what to say now. Except a chinese song which is playing in my mind again and again, it always make me thinking of us whenever I hear it.
“…If there is a next life, I don't wanna be your friend, it is hurt, and if we stop being friend, you may forget me very soon. I rather to be a kitty or puppy, just stay with you without thinking anything till die. Or I will be your enemy, you will remember all the things I did to you, no matter you like or not, there is always a place for me in your heart...”
My dear Alvin, Is that funny? You lost me again. We can finally say goodbye forever now. And this time I won’t be back.
Andrea, I don't know if you can see this message, you are so busy rencently. Photographer huh, so cool! I am so proud of you. You are the first guy I know on tumblr, I remember all the things between us, that was the best momeries in my life. Thank you. I wish you and mom are ok... and please tell Naide, I don't understand italian, and she only writes in italian, so we only talked few times. She is a nice girl as you always say, I like her. Ohohoh, the last thing, can you do me a faver? Next time if you meet Clement again during Madrid Fashion Week, can you give him a big hug for me and tell grandpa that I like him :p haha..
Igor and Maxximilian, sorry mate, if I know I will die young, I will do what you want me to do for sure. Take care.
Istvan, bro, I should go to GuangZhou to find you right? maybe we can be real friend. I am so regreting now haha, maybe if I go to GuangZhou, I won’t die, haha. I wish you are happy always, and I wish people can see Elsewhere Magazine in bookstore soon. You are amazing. (Guys, Elsewhere is a amazing magazine, please check out my blog, and you will find the link on sidebar. )
Jon, what should I say to you huh? Bitch, you owe me a photo. I still haven’t see it before I die. Can you burn it to me? Hahah, kidding. Wish your dream will come true, German香肠s Yay!!! And 臭老头, like what I said to Alex, you can’t get Janis, he is straight, even your body is amazing, he won’t fuck you. wake up! I really wish you will find a good boy who really likes you. Don’t waste your time on somebody you can’t get when you are still young. 我真的后悔我没能跟你成为非常亲密的朋友，平时也都是聊的乱七八糟的。但是我很高兴有你这个朋友。Those nonsense conversations are actually interesting. I had a lot of fun with it. Remember I always call you 死鬼？ I am a real死鬼 now, haha. Take care, 臭老头。 (And David, we are not friend, so stop sending weird mails to me, ok? I don't trade nuddie, but if you still want to see my naked body, I don't mind to send some to you after I die. Go to find Jon, he is hot. )
Mikey, where are you, I registered a facebook account, I was about to tell you, but you just disappeared. I found out Zach’s fb, but he seems doesn't use it anymore. I miss you buddy.
Radgan and 13, we know each other for months, oh Radgan, we know each other for years, right? we talked a lot recently, gosh, I still don't know your names. But I understand. You guys are really good friends. 13 we should know each other early, right? you are really nice, but please don't drink too much, I don't want to see a drunk Japanese people who falls asleep naked on subway on heaven channel in someday :p By the way, Chen read your twitter message to me weeks ago, yeah, I am very tired, and I am afraid I will have a loooooooooooooooooooooooog vacation soon. haha. Take care, mate.
Samuel, 妞, 我们都认识好多年了，肉麻的话我就不说了，一定要开心幸福哦 J
Sasha, my babe, I will miss you and your flirting, you are one of the most beautiful and nice boy i’ve ever met. Be cool babe,love ya.
And Arthur, Chris, Drew, Fuckyeahbenallen, Henrick,Habere-dicere-amare, James, Justin, Kevin, Misha, Michal, Mitch, Owen, Pohz, Rafsimons-xx(sorry I forget last 2 letters), Richard and other friends who I always to talk with, and all my followers, glad to know you all.
Ok, that is all. Time to say goodbye now. The evil nurse is coming, she doesn't allow me to speak too much. I said I am fucking dying, don't tell me what to do, and she just ignored me as always she does = =!. Somebody kill her for me, please, I hate her.
I love you guys.