Best Friend (BF):"Are you okay?"
Silence
BF: "Cali?"
Me: "I am fine."
Internally: No I am not fucking fine.
Not everyone knows how to just sit with you when you have depression. For me the people who know how are few. I wish I didn't feel like such a burden and was more open to explaining that I just needed her to sit with me and not fix me.
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I can't save you
Still I wish I had a place for you
But we both know I don't yet have one for myself
Our paths have diverged
Though a link still exists
Someone on the outside threatens it
I am closer to accepting that we may become completely separated
Not for lack of fighting it
I thought we'd always be in each others lives
And we very well may be one day again
But it doesn't keep this truth from burning
I will lose you to him
I never made any stipulations
Protested a love he demanded we shared
When no such amorous feelings existed
Held hostage by your own ideas of indebtedness
Shrouded by his insecurity
I wish I could save you
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Moving Esquire cover with Rachel Weisz
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I never thought it would happen
Being pulled apart from you like this
Losing the constant, but of course
Change is all that is
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I have mourned people who are still alive.
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My heart.
Riley + the party
HAPPIEST SEASON
2020 | dir. Clea Duvall
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Lev Tchistovsky (1902-1969) Reclining nude with pink robe 1937.
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Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
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@relmartist on Instagram🌙🌈✨
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