lauroe1964

[lauroe1964]

ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

[lauroe1964]

how to: turn your shower into a rainforest 🌴🌸

ig: amayajeane🕊

[lauroe1964]

My New HAIR ROUTINE!!!!!

Hey everyone,

It’s been a while since I posted. I’m bringing back Sister Sabbath Sunday for 2020, even though no one reads. I can have a little self-indulgent internet time, as a treat ;)

I’m keeping it light for the first post back (mostly because my life has been AGGRESSIVELY boring) but I will say that Youtube curly girls are LIARS and DESERVE to burn in HELL

Let me explain…

When I was a young lass a few months ago, I went to a curly-girl method “specialist” in hopes of making my hair bouncy and lush, like all the other curly-hair girls on Youtube. I was told if I didn’t wash my hair for weeks and massage thick globes of gel into my ends, my hair would become a wonderland of coils. If, God forbid, I used a hairdryer to blow-out my curls, I would be a trader to my wavy sisterhood.

The result of my allegiance?

CLICK PIC TO REVEAL:

https://youtu.be/otEWzHFMvdk 

I ended up looking like Erlich from Silicon Valley. It was horrific.  

However, I thought that is just the way my hair was supposed to be. I was confined to either ass-dry frizz or Joy Behar curls. There was no other way.

But, in the deep abyss of my heart, I still wanted to look like Lana Del Rey: seductive, sleek, and always accompanied with a sugar daddy and a juul. My desperation lead me to picked up a blowdryer and rounded brush and go to town on my moist ramen roots.

Needless to say, the end result was nothing like the curly purists had told me. I didn’t loose any superpowers. I wasn’t defiled. In fact, I actually liked my hair… better?

My locks were cleaner and more lustrous and full. I felt like I transformed from a sweaty after-school kid to a mod, young and ruthless professional. It was enlightening what a little experimentation can do.

Moral of the story: never trust hot Youtubers. They’ve never experienced the hallowing sentiment of looking like a 4-6.

OK HAVE A GOOD ONE, BYEEEEE!!!!!

-Lauren

#youtuber #youtube #bad haircut #curly girl method #curly girl #curly #blow dryer #straight hair #silicon valley #erlich #hair routine #hair #blonde #NYU #Tisch #film and television major #new look #college student #deva curl

[lauroe1964]

#FuckNateJacobs

EUPHORIA: “And Salt The Earth Behind You”

[lauroe1964]

the women of euphoria ✨

[lauroe1964]

I told Miyazaki I love the “gratuitous motion” in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are.

“We have a word for that in Japanese,” he said. “It’s called ma. Emptiness. It’s there intentionally.”

Is that like the “pillow words” that separate phrases in Japanese poetry?

“I don’t think it’s like the pillow word.” He clapped his hands three or four times. “The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it’s just busyness, But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb.”

Which helps explain why Miyazaki’s films are more absorbing and involving than the frantic cheerful action in a lot of American animation. I asked him to explain that a little more.

“The people who make the movies are scared of silence, so they want to paper and plaster it over,” he said. “They’re worried that the audience will get bored. They might go up and get some popcorn.

But just because it’s 80 percent intense all the time doesn’t mean the kids are going to bless you with their concentration. What really matters is the underlying emotions–that you never let go of those.

— Roger Ebert in conversation with Hayao Miyazaki

[lauroe1964]

[lauroe1964]

The Night shift 

[lauroe1964]

[lauroe1964]

Beef with LACMA

Hi everyone,

So I went to LACMA, the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, today with my Mom and little sister, Izzy, to you know, check out some sICK contemporary/modern art works and such. I have been missing city life/going to art museums a lot since Paris and I wanted to go on my birthday, but; unfortunately, my mom and I got a late start, so we decided to go a week later on a Sunday afternoon instead.

It all started out just great. We went to Alfred’s, got some coffee and a guava croissant (not as good as the croissants from Paris, of course, but you know, LA tries), then went to Mosaic church for some dance-y worship. My mom went from location to location with a concave pink-and-black umbrella, not because it was raining, but because she didn’t want the sun to perturb her lily-white skin, much like a mistress from the Edwardian era. Overall, a fun time.

Then we get to LACMA. As soon as we came to the counter, the man announced that there were several exhibits closed for construction. Was there a discount though? Nope. But you know what, we made it out here, we want to support the arts, so we wanted to make the best of what was to happen.

We went into the first exhibit, Korean Writing. Apparently, I get a little too close to reading a sign next to a painting and an attendant comes up within spitting distance to me. “Please step away from the painting and respect the tape, miss.” I look down, and a see light gray tape there. Ok, fair enough, I step away.

Then I start noticing little things. Like whenever there was a child how the museum attendant would follow them; ready on hand and foot to call out whatever rules the child may infringe upon. I hear a museum attendant shhh! a little kid after he gets too excited over a shiny ceramic bowl.

My mom, sister, and I go into another modernist exhibit. There, an attendant calls out my mom. “You have to have your bag on your front body. And also you were supposed to check-in your umbrella at the front.” Keep in mind, no one had ever mentioned these rules to us at the front, otherwise we would have been happy to oblige. “Oh, sorry about that,” my mom said, “I’ll be sure to keep the umbrella close to my body.”

At this point, I’m starting to get slightly white-woman peeved at the museum attendants. Like at every museum in Paris, sure they have their rules, no selfie sticks, no punching paintings, but at the end of the day, the museum attendants don’t really care what you do. They sit at their chair play Angry Birds, or whatever, on their phone. You can actually observe the art and not feel judged. And this is at the Centre Pompidou. At the Louvre. I’m pretty sure if you can feel comfortable holding an umbrella at the museum that holds the Mona Lisa, I think LACMA can probably loosen up a bit.

After having my Mom not being allowed into an exhibit because of her umbrella and my getting yelled at because I took a non-flash, video recording of an installation on my iPhone, we decided to leave.

It made me realize part of the reason why Americans don’t go to museums. They make you feel out of place and uncomfortable, only contributing to the elitism of the art world. If museums, like LACMA, really want to increase the accessibility of the art world beyond just the wealthy, they need to start making their patrons feel accepted the way they are.  Don’t let an umbrella deter your audience from viewing art.

Anyways, sorry this weeks post of kinda complaining and bitchy. I don’t necessarily blame the whole of LACMA for this because i’m sure they do some great things was the community and such. Also, they might not be aware of how their security affects the viewing experience. It just upsets me because I remember hating museums growing up because they were a place of restriction instead of exploration. It made me want to rebel, so not stay with the group, get really close to art pieces, and even refuse to observe what is going on around me. Ironically, my rebellion towards art museums was kind of a performance art piece in itself (that’s pretentious af, i’m sorry). If my leaders growing up would have just let me be how I was, I don’t think I would have spent the first twenty years of my life hating museums and actually absorbed what was going on.

*rant over*

Thanks for listening. Enjoy some cute pictures of my wonderful, sweet, and incredible creative little sister Izzy at the LACMA.

Love,

-L

#lacma #contemporary art #elitism in the art world #modern art #elitism #art world #umbrella #parasol #victoria #edwardian #issue with art #los angeles #california #hollywood #mosiac #mosaic church #mosaic church hollywood #centre pompidou #Louvre #curator #sister sabbath sunday #sisters #museums #art museums #rebellion #paris #france #french #america #education

[lauroe1964]

Running makes me want to dieeeeee

Hey babes,

So the other day, I arose at the a$$-crack of dawn (5:00am. RIP) to go on a 10 mile run.

See, my family (minus my youngest sister, Izzy, and my Mom) are training for a half marathon in August, so use pool in our gumption to do a long run on Saturdays. My sister, Olivia, being the genius that she is, decided to make a 9:20 am appointment for the optometrists. Meaning, that we need to be at the beach by 6:30am and be done by 8:25am so my little sister could have her eye balls poked about. Thanks for that. Also, this was the day after my birthday as well (22 WOO-HOO it’s a slow march to my death from here on out 🤪) so I, being the aThElEtE that I am, decided to eat five slices of bread, a bowl of pasta, and drink two sangrias, and top it off with a crème brûlée and some flourless chocolate cake. Really, just living my best life.

So our shoes hit the pavement near the Ventura Pier and we start jogging along. Olivia and my Dad race ahead of me, per usual. I try turning on my run keeper and it doesn’t work.

Strike one.

I can already tell this is going to be a terrible run. My stomach starts churning from the more-than-necessary amount of carbs in my system. I’m already out of breath at a 13 minute mile. I’m dying.

I start having suicidal thoughts. I’m worthless. I’m fat. I should die. I start fantasizing my death. My audiobook “The Alchemist” helps distract me from my thoughts only a minuscule amount, like trying to remove spray paint on cement with baby shampoo. But I continue.

After four and a half miles, my Dad and I cross paths. He gave me some water to drink and I asked him where the halfway point is, as my running app was not working.

“A half a mile up,” he told me, “but you should probably start heading back up now because we need to be back by 8:25.”

It was 7:30.

That’s when I lost it.

As my Dad started running ahead of me, I began sobbing. I felt like a failure. It wasn’t just that I was unable to complete the 10 miles, it was that everything else in my life had seemed to fall short. I was uglier and fatter than last year. My plan to stay in Paris for the summer had failed. I didn’t have an internship lined up. I still didn’t have a boyfriend. And now, I couldn’t run 10 miles in an appropriate amount of time.

Of course, these statements are only half-true. And as any honest person will tell you, a half-truth is a lie. I might not be as physically beautiful as I was last year, but that is because I took a risk and tried something new with having short hair. I was fatter, but I also didn’t struggle with obsessive dieting/thoughts about food and wanted to take a more holistic approach to health. I wasn’t able to stay in Paris the entire summer, but I had an incredible time drinking wine by the Seine for the month of June. And if I had fifteen minutes more, I would have been able to run 10 without a doubt in my mind.

Sometimes I get into these negative spirals where I need to prove to myself that I am an object of pity by stretching the truth to fit my victim narrative. It’s ok if I feel down or upset, but I shouldn’t need to spread lies about myself. That’s not being honest.

Anyways, after my good cry my endorphins kicked in a little stronger and I felt better. Other than that, my week has been ok. Being in the ‘burbs is a little boring, but you know, the açaí bowls are popping and I don’t have to pay for groceries so 😗✌🏻

Keep on having a hot girl summer,

Laurennn

#ventura #ventura county #california #ca #hot girl summer #Paris #ventura pier #ocean #beach #beach run #run #running #half marathon #ten miles #suicidal thoughts #fat #ugly #ugly sobbing #negative thoughts #sister sabbath sunday #acai bowl #victim mentality #obsessive thoughts #dieting #body posititivity #body positive #crying #sobbing #the alchemist

[lauroe1964]

Just fookin’ around (summer 2k19)

#test shot #test shoot #canon rebel #canon rebel t6i #narcissist

[lauroe1964]

Post I wrote last week but I’m just now posting (i’m chaotic sorry)

Bonjour tout la monde,

C’est moi, Lauren déjà.

This past week la fête de la musique. I almost forgot that it was too, if not for me frantically pushing passed a crowd in the Marais (the gay area of Paris) watching male strippers as I rushed to be on time for my ballet class.

Alas, there was not a ballet class going on at 8:30pm on a Friday night (the website lied) so I traversed the strip tease once more, hopped on the metro to my apartment, changed into a Madewell summer dress, drank a quarter a bottle of wine, and headed back out again.

The scene was fantastic: musicians everywhere, people dancing in the street, drinking, but although the magic of Paris was thick in the air, I still felt a little lonely.

I still have friends here, sure, but not convenient friends that you see every Tuesday and Thursday that you can bitch about your grody co-worker, Brandy, and drink with. It was one of the first times being in Paris that I felt like it was time for me to leave. Everyone has friends and I life here, but my life has remained very stagnant after my school ended in late May. Which is totally fine and what I was expecting, but it was a gentle nod from the Holy Spirit saying “It’s time.”

And in all actuality, it is. This is my last week in Paris. I am sad, but at the same time ready. I want to do everything and jam-pack Paris this week, but I’m also just... tired. I’m happy that I spent an extra month here, but at he same time, all good things must come to an end.

Until next time,

Lauren

#lafetedelamusique #Paris #le marais #ballet #ballet class #madewell #holy spirit #last week #study abroad #chicken stripper

[lauroe1964]

Also here is a cutsy lil’ vloggy video of my sister Olivia and I roadtripping to Portland (part 1) also this happened a year ago plz don’t judge i like to #procrastinate on #editing 

#life of a professional youtuber #san francisco #santa barbara #jeannines #road trip #vlog #sisters #college #college student #fun #coffee #travel #usa #camping

[lauroe1964]

Ok i’m back again lol

Bonjour tout la monde!

You know how I said I wasn’t going to use tumblr ever again? Well I tried that and very well didn’t like it. What can I say? I can’t stay away from you 😘

So my mom and sisters came to visit me in Paris, which was lovely. But i had an interesting conversation with my mother that really lead me to an awakening of some sorts.

“So you know I set up a date for you when you get back,” my mom said out of the blue.

“Oh, ok,” i replied, but exactly knowing how to respond when someone hijacked you on a date.

“He’s from New Zealand and was voted the smartest man. He is also Asian and goes to church and bible study every week. Tracy [our family friend and hairdresser] knows him.”

“Ok,” I say.

“The only problem is he is 35.”

Great, middle aged. I’ve always wanted to be a sugar baby.

“Is it ok that I did that?” My mom asked.

I thought I moment.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that no, I didn’t want someone who lived across the country that was looking to settle down ASAP. Also from living in my studio apartment half the time without a shirt on, I realized I really, really relished being alone. Just me, calling my own shots, riding my own dick.

But haven’t I always yearned for a boyfriend? Someone to take me on dates and cuddle me and say I’m a babe even after I run when I look like a skin infection?

Yes, absolutely. But I don’t think it would be best for all the sacrifices I would need to make to have a partner. I don’t want to have someone hurt me. I don’t want to make sacrifices about what I should do and where I’m going to live. I want to dance. Learn new languages. I want to be an alpha.

Honestly, i don’t want a boyfriend.

Blessings,

Lauren

P.S. call 911 I’ve gone for days without really human contact and I’m becoming an alien.

#christian #tina belcher #tina belcher dancing #boyfriend #relationships #single #Paris #france #dating #family #mother #alpha #living #languages #french #traveling #church #partner

[lauroe1964]

GN

Hi Y’all,

Hope you all are doing fantastic. Paris is lovely as usual. I’m staying until le premier julliet! Do I know where I am going to live? Nope. Am I worried that I am going to break the bank? Yep. But hey, I feel like God is calling me here. So I stay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t make the rules.

So I wanted to let you know that I am leaving Tumblr. I first came to this site because I a) wanted to document my time in Paris and b) hated the dumpster fire that was Facebook and Instagram (won’t put Snapchat in this group because I can actually talk to my friends?) See kids, when I used tumblr in my youth it had this wild-west energy. Almost like Youtube in its early days. You could post whatever, post your emotions, secrets, or even porn on to this website. However, as I came to use it more and more I realized this ain’t the case no more.

Tumblr has become a SJW censorship trashcan like the rest of the social media groups. When my post “23 Anecdotes for Having a Shit Roommate Got Taken Down” I was appalled. Like what I written wasn’t Shakespeare or anything, so I wasn’t like upset, but what I said I don’t believe was bad or in malice. On the contrary, I wrote it in solidarity for the thousands of people who are living in a horrible place at the moment. But, social media does not care about how my time you put into something or your intent. If it had a bad word or perhaps even showed the demonic energy of a *female* *nipple* then my post will be taken down.

I’m done with this. People should be able to say what they want to say without this silicon valliers being to arbiters of morality (of course, I am barring words with the expression to harm self or others).

So I’m going to start my own blog. My own personal dumpster fire if you will.

And you should too. Have your own little corner of self-expression that actually represents who you are and not a façade of what you want other people to think of you.

I feel like Tumblr will probably (definitely) take down this post anyways, but might as well try to say my peace.

Anyways, let me know how your week has been, I am curious. This past week, I translated for a Irish couple who did not speak a lick of french at a locksmith shop, whereas I could speak like three words. That made me feel smart.

Take care,

Lauren

#bye #goodbye #au revoir #peaceout tumblr #Paris #NYU #nyu paris #irish #social media #instagram #facebook #youtube #trash #dumpster #censorship #freethenipple

[lauroe1964]

Happy Easter

I’m sitting in the palais royale next to a fountain. A man is serving ice cream in cones from a cart. A girl with sparkly gold shoes and a turquoise track suit sits next to me sipping her iced latte and a British couple behind me chatting about nothing in particular.

I’m feeling the same feeling at felt yesterday at the Pompidou when i saw a rainbow exhibition. It was a feeling of i don’t really know what it means or what utilitarian purpose it had but im very glad it exists.

That’s what i feel now. I don’t really know why i am here or what utilitarian purpose it brings but I’m glad i am existing here. In Paris. As i near my 22nd year.

I’m going to stay here for a while. God put on my heart that He wants me here. I don’t know how or specifically why. But if you know anyone who would be willing to house me or help me in paris please let me know.

Take care,

L

P.S. I saw this girl at the Palais Royale. I don’t know who she is, but she is my style icon.

#palais royale #Paris #ice cream #ice cream cart #style icon #heart sunglasses #study abroad #NYU study abroad #nyuparis #nyutisch #easter #centre pompidou #contemporary art #rainbow #rainbow room