leah-mantle

[leah-mantle]

It says a lot about how bad things have gotten that the best I'm hoping for in 2024 is for it to be somewhat less hellish.

But I'm not even confident in that occurring.

[leah-mantle]

[leah-mantle]

Oh is this why?!!

#depression #anxiety #mental health

[leah-mantle]

[leah-mantle]

POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

[leah-mantle]

Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek.

#best case scenario #worst case scenario #mental health #adulting #anxiety

[leah-mantle]

Ron DeSantis just kidnapped a 13-year old boy.

Earlier this evening, at around 7 PM CT U.S., Rebekah Jones (notably one of DeSantis’ biggest political enemies right now) underwent a raid on her home by state police.

Guns were pointed in the face of her 13-year old son, Jack. They arrested him under the charges of digital terrorism and “on state orders.”

They are refusing to let him go home and they are refusing to let Jones see him.

These are her screenshots recounting the incident from earlier tonight. They were taken at 10:23 PM CT U.S.

Reblog. I don’t care who you are, reblog this. We have to make sure that this doesn’t get buried – it’s already happening.

[leah-mantle]

What’s going to make you happy right now? Is it some cake? Is it a nap? Is it calling your mom? Is it going on a drive and blasting music? Is it taking a bath? Is it reading a book?

Check in with yourself because you deserve that happiness, whatever it is.

[leah-mantle]

At this point, no amount of riches in the world matter if I remain unstable for the next 30 years.

#mental health #depression #life is hard #anxiety #I am sick #but they don’t care #they wish me well but don’t take medicine

[leah-mantle]

I am a product of “don’t ask, just do”. I used to be curious and nosy and would ask about food and a thousand questions why, but I was told to be quiet and not to disturb the adults. So I stopped.

Twenty years down the road, they wonder why I don’t know basic stuff. One of the adults assumed the school would teach us everything.

I am a failed adult because adults have failed me.

Do not ignore your kids. You have your reasons for bringing them to this world. Shutting up isn’t one of them.

Quiet kids are not mature kids. They shut down because you told them to.

#adulting #quiet kids are not mature kids #how not to parent #parenting #failure #pretending #don’t ask just do

[leah-mantle]

I don’t like being told I’m lazy, or that I can’t plan ahead, or that I’m slow. I’ve been told that my whole life. And when I do plan ahead, take action, and make sure things go perfectly, it’s usually things that don’t concern you or things you deem unimportant. Like a book trip.

It’s freaking tiring, having to use my mental reserves to heal on the spot and stop myself from talking back, because I really feel like talking back. Your “free speech” is only going to drag my already low self-esteem through the mud, and then you wonder why I don’t do better. Why bother doing better? Nothing’s good enough for you.

I found a name for the “slowness” and the “laziness” by the way. Not that you’d like to know.

#adhd #neurodivergence

[leah-mantle]

So… I'm expected to work as much as I can to earn as much as I can as a one-person team (I don't have a life partner); get enough sleep, a balanced diet, and adequate exercise; do my part with the housework; and still have time for leisure and fun.

I'm expected to function like a married couple who have double the brainpower, energy, and financial capabilities than I do.

Did I mention I'm fighting with my mind every day? It took many years of observation to conclude that enthusiasm about life does not come naturally. I learned what is anxiety, accepted that I have recurring ones ranging from good to bad, and now I'm going through that cycle again with ADHD.

I can't do everything. I can't be perfect. I can't make you happy. Some expectations have to die.

And yet, you chalk it all up to me "being lazy".

Cool. I wonder why I don't talk to you about stuff.

#expectations #mental health #life is hard #struggling #single functioning as double

[leah-mantle]

I just can’t believe that someone I know has the gall to say that the abuser and the abused are equally responsible for the (bad) choices the abused makes after surviving the trauma. 

Like, I’m on a depression-anxiety cycle. Haven’t been exercising in months. And they go on to say it’s just a matter of what you set your mind to do.

I know it makes me look lazy. But it’s not as simple as “Nah, I don’t want to.” It’s more along the lines of “Why bother? I won’t do it well anyway. / Everything’s fine. (denial)”

[leah-mantle]

Get rid of the idea that you’re interrupting someone when you’re looking for a chat.

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t talked to them in weeks or months, you are NOT interrupting their “perfect life” with your “puny presence”.

They won’t (actually they’re not supposed to) get angry because you called, or because you asked a stupid question.

It’s all in your head. Fight it.

You may be surprised. People crave for companionship. Your initiative might be just what they needed.

#anxiety #mental health #fear of judgement #bad thoughts #people hate me #people don’t hate you

[leah-mantle]

I don’t know how maturity is associated with “holding it all in”. I don’t know about you, but I’ll burst eventually if I keep “holding it all on”.

Ranting, to the right audience, should be healthy.

#rant #maturity #adulthood #adulting #mental health

[leah-mantle]

“Why aren’t you positive about life?”

Gee. I wonder. You think a pep talk would snap me out of my senses.

#mental health #positivity #toxic positivity #pep talk #why aren’t you

[leah-mantle]

Anxiety Mode

Been rolling around in bed. Can’t sleep.

Somehow my mind fishes out quotes my parents have (repeatedly) said throughout my growing up. And while little me knew their ideologies are sick and twisted, I didn’t respond (for fear of retribution). Rather, I absorbed.

And that has mentally fucked me up.

There’s one favorite quote of my mom’s: There are no ugly women in the world, only lazy ones. (Loosely translated.) It’s her fav quote from her fav idol, who continues to perpetuate the necessity for women to look beautiful, place emphasis on a woman’s looks over her worth, discriminate non-mainstream appearances, and crushing a little girl’s self-confidence in the years to come.

She would toss them out every once in a while. Usually a few times a week. In the hopes that I’d come to my senses and doll up to their standards. Then, people will like me and maybe a man will fall for me.

They are other ways to crush a kid’s self-confidence, including repeatedly denying them praise in a field they like for the sole purpose of discouraging them from pursuing a hobby so that they can get a head start on serious adult stuff instead.

And now I’m here saying hello to the anxiety monster.

Oh, another one is this conspiracy where ppl of a certain religion are migrating en masse to developed countries so that they can procreate in large numbers, demand equal treatment, and take over democracy. And we should not let it happen. So we should procreate too or we’ll lose out.

Dad, your grandfather was an immigrant. Stop this foolishness.

#anxiety #insomnia #mental health #mentally fucked #racism #classism #sexism #discrimination #marginalization #impossible beauty standards #sick idolizing #toxic messages #crushing confidence #conspiracy #I’m doing this for your own good #for your own good #your own good #own good #good