lendingamachete

[lendingamachete]

When you start feeling gassy right before you’re about to be locked into a tiny room with someone for an hour and a half. This is gonna be sooooo greeeeAaaaat

[lendingamachete]

I say “I didn’t KNOW that would happen” instead of “I didn’t THINK that would happen” because I grew up in a “Yeah, you DIDN’T THINK!” Family.

[lendingamachete]

Being the biggest person in the rom and turning down free food and having the next person say “hell yeah I’m a fatty” just. Idk.

[lendingamachete]

I was craving tofu so I made tofu last week and this week for my work lunches (I don’t eat tofu often or large quantities like this past week) and then after some issues googled and found out tofu/soy can cause constipation and that explains my troubles. I still have 2 blocks of tofu in my fridge and now I’m like… eat the tofu or be free of this constipation??

Ugh. Why can’t I just eat tofu and be normal?

[lendingamachete]

I applied for something I have applied for and failed to get before, and I’m waiting for a yes or no. I have a feeling it’s a no cuz every time it’s been yes the yes has come almost instantly. But I haven’t gotten the yes or no and if it’s no I just want it to come already so I can get over it.

[lendingamachete]

I know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people but I still feel silly with the idea that I’m 30 and my parents drove me down to Arizona to go to my Graduation. I also know that there are people Older than me who are here for graduation this week but MOST of the people graduating this week are in their early 20s. I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about running around a campus and getting lost by attending in person but I’m still bummed that I’ve never had that True “move away to college” experience. I wish I knew this campus better. I wish I had gotten to explore it. But now that I’m here I can’t even do that because my family doesn’t want to do that. They want to go all over the state.

[lendingamachete]

One time Bruce Springsteen said:

But it's a sad man my friend who's livin' in his own skin

And can't stand the company

And I said: haha, that’s me.

[lendingamachete]

My mom likes to brag about mine and my siblings accomplishments as if she had anything to do with them, but when bragging about me she doesn’t actually care enough to make sure the details are right

I worked at Walt Disney World

She told everyone I worked in Disneyland

I now work at a local news station

She tells everyone I work for FOX news.

I’m graduating Summa Cum Laude

She’s told everyone I’m graduating Magna Cum Laude.

She doesn’t care to get the details correct, she just wants to brag.

When I corrected her about graduating Summa Cum Laude she corrected her post to say “summa” Cum Laude all lowercase with quotes on the Summa as if it was a disappointment even tho it’s highest honors, it felt very petty.

She didn’t even want to go to my graduation like a week ago and she told me to book a rental car on her card. I was just about to go into the house to book the car when she started yelling at me then was like “you acted like you already booked it” how do I act like I already booked a car? I never told you I did, you never gave me your information. Why is this my fault?

[lendingamachete]

Today my mom told me “I know I don’t have to worry about you. You’re my rock”

And like, I wish you would. I’ve spend the majority of my life feeling invisible in my own family.

As a child I got forgotten about everywhere. At the store, the barn, daycare, school. No one cared when I was doing well, only when I was failing because that was unacceptable.

When I lost my job to a pandemic I was still expected to take care of my own expenses and look for a job.

My siblings can do whatever they want and ask for money whenever they need it but I don’t get that. I don’t get to Quit my job and get handed money whenever I need it. Whenever I even hint at the idea of needing even a little help I get told “it’s not in the budget right now, can it wait” then literally a minute later my mom has gotten a call from one of my siblings and deposited $100 into their account for no reason. And then I get to go even deeper into credit card debt because I keep having car repairs.

I just once don’t want to be expected to take care of myself. I’m tired. I’ve watched my 3 older siblings get spoiled my whole life and I get ignored or forgotten and told to get out of the way.

[lendingamachete]

why do you as a man own a laptop? to check your "e males" ? gay boy

[lendingamachete]

Went from a somewhat decent movement job to a job where I sit at a desk all day and it’s been 1 month and I have already gained back the 3lbs I lost in June.

That may not sound like a lot, but I can really feel the effects of sitting on my butt all day and something needs to change..

Hold please, my God Bod Thor redemption era is loading..

[lendingamachete]

Somebody put Eddie Munson quotes with that “cottage core” song on tiktok and the first time I heard it I just imagined him telling his kids a bedtime story and now I’m sad cuz I didn’t have anyone to tell me bedtime stories like that.

[lendingamachete]

Currently struggling with the knowledge that no one is perfect the first time they do something but also IM SO STUPID BECAUSE IM NOT PERFECT THE FIRST TIMENI DO SOMETHING!

[lendingamachete]

I can’t say this in other places cuz some of my best friends do this.. but the posts where people pretend to be their baby or pet talking are some of the most annoying.

[lendingamachete]

Just cuz I need to rant.

I quit my current job because I was supposed to be starting a new job related to what I went to school for. The journey with this country is long and not normal.

I applied to the role back in 2020 or 2021 (I don’t remember applying but I did at some point). Someone from their company reached out to me in November of 2021 asking me if I would be free to interview with them and if so what days/times would work for me. So I sent an email back with the requested information and never heard from them again. I sent 2 follow up emails and never heard anything- guy could have died for all I know.

Fast Forward to May of 2022, this woman emails me and asks if I’m interested in interviewing for this same role and if I could give her days and times that would work for me. So I did. This time I Actually DID get to interview with her and one other person. Then the next week they asked if I wanted to do a secondary interview so I agreed. Then two weeks after the secondary interview they offered me the job and said they just needed to figure out my hourly pay and then they would get back to me and send me the new hire paperwork (should be a red flag probs) Then about a week later I email the guy who should be my manager asking about the paperwork and he said “I was hoping you had already gotten it, let me email HR and ask (the big boss) and I’ll see what’s going on.” (red Flag) A week later I get a call from the big boss with a number for what my hourly pay would be ($.50 raise from my food service job but this is entry level so I’m just trying to use it as “professional experience” so I can move on asap). I agree and then the following Monday (of the week I had originally agreed to start -also the week with the last lay at my current job) I FINALLY got the email with the job offer and background check info. That email says “pending the background check” I would start on or around the 30th. So now the 30th is two days from now and I still have no idea if I’m starting this week or not.

I feel stupid for quitting my other job because these people are so disorganized and they don’t communicate and I just don’t know if it’s even worth it at this point. I canceled two interviews for other companies because I thought this one was going to be worth it but it just is really starting to feel like a mistake at this point..

[lendingamachete]

I just had a thought:

You know how when people find out they’re gonna have a baby they start doing everything they can to make their lives better before the baby comes (or at least that’s how movies and some of my friends have done it). Finding a better paying job, potentially finding better living conditions, and just making their lives better for the baby?

What if I did that for me? What if I took 9 months and made my life better for me? I’m my own baby and I need to improve myself for her.

[lendingamachete]

Feeling like I can’t cancel subscription services while I’m in school because I watch movies for homework and SOMETIMES I can watch them on sites I already have subscriptions for.

Then knowing when I’m NOT in school I watch them more than when I am I school so I might as well just keep them.