the government is trying to kill me and i am failing physics
i am much behind on polish meme culture because i spent my childhood in different parts of internet than the rest of my friend group, but up until now they made sure that if they’re laughing at something and i say i don’t get it they give me context
today they didn’t and it is so fucking annoying i honestly just want to scream into the fucking void
so i went out drinking yesterday, my third time ever, and I got drunk so bad two people had to drag me around for like 3h because i couldn’t stand and i couldn’t walk by myself, i almost threw up, twice, and eventually we got to a random playground and they let me rest on a swing on top of two other people, where i almost threw up again, and it took me an hour to sober the fuck up and boi oh bOI I NEVER WANNA GET THAT DRUNK AGAIN THAT SHIT HORRIBLE WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT IT’S FUN
people when they tell me to fuck off and i actually quit the voice channel:
dear handsome stranger with toby stephens’ eyes i saw on the bus today, i won’t forget you and i hope luck never leaves your side
the drenched punk with taped headphones who couldn’t take his eyes off of you
i am researching some death symbolism for october prompts i chose to draw this year and my mom walked into my room to light a candle and stopped behind me and im just like please ignore the 14 tabs about death in art and literature i currently have opened do what you need and move on :’>
mom asks me to do something around the house while im binging black sails i be like nah mom sorry i have to get back to my homosexual pirates
i spent the entire summer as myself, around people who either stopped themselves from deadnaming me and just called me shit like “elder” “tall one” etc, or just called me by my name. i knew when i go back to school shit is gonna be rough because i didnt and dont intend to come out to my teachers. but i wasnt prepared for my form teacher to deadname me seven times in a single fucking sentence.
“you don’t seem like that kind of guy”
“what type of guy?”
“ACAB, fuck the police, eat the rich kind of guy”
“well you look adorable and speak adorable and. you know. you don’t seem threatening”
bitch can i kindly remind you all of you fuckers gathered here today were scared to speak to me for a long time because you found me intimidating. i am only “adorable” with ya’ll because i feel comfortable with you, normally i sit quietly in the corner and keep getting comments about having eyes of a murderer.
dear catholics, would you maybe stop assaulting and throwing people in jail because they put rainbows on religious symbols. Rainbow mother mary is not for you, she’s for the people you have rejected from your community you fucking bigots
idgaf anymore. im happy. and i need all of you fuckers to know that, because no matter how rough it is everywhere in the world right now, you can be happy too. let yourself enjoy things and let yourself be happy. let yourself get away from the brutal reality for five fucking hours.
my dad loses a little bit of my respect every time the topic of me reading comes up. that’s because every time the conversation goes the same way.
he says i don’t read, i say i do, i spend a lot of my time reading, i can read over 300K words a day if i’m on a hype, and ONCE AGAIN, just because it’s fanfic doesn’t mean i don’t read. to which he replies with “you know how i feel about fanfic”, and i go off about how he can’t keep treating fanfic like a lesser form of writing just because it’s based on other media, because a lot of it is actually much better than some published books. and he just replies with “you can’t tell me some fanfic is better than [name of a polish author i have never ever heard in my whole life]”. and then i go off about how i didn’t say it’s better than this specific book or author, and he cannot be so hostile on this subject just because fanfic writers don’t take money for what they do and they have something to base their works on, because that’s simply not fair.
and he just goes silent, and waits for me to leave the room.
this is to all my dear fanfic writers: your work is not lesser than published books. from what i’ve seen in my 4 years spent wandering from fandom to fandom, a lot of fanworks are actually better written than most of published works i read. do not let people tell you you’re not a real writer just because you write fanfic. you’re still amazing and creative and i admire you, and the fact that you can write a 500K AU slowburn about a fandom rarepair is honestly mind blowing.
to the only guy who didnt shoot my ass on sight on the russian gmod server i joined for shits and giggles, vaped with me, drove me around in a red bmw, stole a tank and waited for me to get in despite being under open fire, gave me RPG ammo and teamed up with me in battle: thanks mate you made my day
randomly remembered that one time i was sitting on a random bench with my homies and some dude was passing us, turned around and said “hey freaks, fuck the police and happy birthday”. shoutout to you mf i hope luck never leaves you
just because im trans doesn’t mean i will cut myself off from everything and everyone from my past. these people are still important to me and things that happened back then have just as much value to me as recent memories. even if i wasnt quite myself yet when i was younger, that time still made me into the person i am today, and i am not ashamed of it
the moment of regret passed when i realized that life is too short to not get yourself a sexy weeb pillow
Dad: why are you leaving the room
Me: you turned the lights on
Me: i am a creature of darkness and i shall live as such
Rewatching HP and honestly the only thing i could think of when i saw Dumbledore dancing with professor McGonagall was “aw poor old man dancing with your best friend where is your boyfriend? Oh that’s right IN AZKABAN”
I thought loading screens in Torchlight II were bad but those in Torchlight give me enough time to refill my water mug, make instant noodles, go to the bathroom, fly to spain, get a liver surgery, recover, finish school, get a job, fly back to the country, retire, and still stare at the loading screen for a few minutes