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leondraisaitlsglove · 2 hours ago
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Yearn
Read it on ao3
It wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before. Fuck Leon couldn’t give you an accurate number of how many times he’d walked on a teammate fooling around with a girl before. But Leon didn’t think he’d have to use the “walk in with your eyes closed first” method when he got to Connor’s house mid-afternoon on a Tuesday.
He wasn’t being too loud, but he also wasn’t trying to be quiet. He had texted Connor that he was going to come over to hang out, they did that on days off. Just watched tv and chilled, talked some hockey but not a lot. Sometimes they played ball in Connor’s gym, sometimes they went for a walk in the river valley. This whole situation wasn’t an uncommon thing.
So taking two steps into the house to walk into Connor’s kitchen. His mouth went dry at the sight before him.
A blonde haired girl arching her back against the counter. A strong hand was up her white shirt, as Connor dipped in to close his mouth against hers. She laughed into the kiss and he grinned, pulling hr closer. She moved her hand, and Connor moaned.
Her hand was down his shorts. Leon dropped his keys.
Connor jumped back from the girl in front of him. Leon didn’t know her but Connor’s Connor and  anyone would be so lucky.
“Hey-hey man-uh,” Connor cleared his throat, face flushed red.
The girl didn’t look too embarrassed, more or less amused as she hid her smile under her slender fingers.
Leon couldn’t speak. All that kept pumping through this brain was Connor’s lips, Connor’s hands, Connor’s moan, connorconnorconnor.
“I’m gonna go,” the blonde said with her overly chipper attitude.
“Yeah yeah.” Connor replied, sounding four times as awkward. She grabbed her bag and coat off the couch before stalking right up to Leon.
“It was nice to meet you” then over her shoulder “Connor text me,” before flashing Leon a smile on her way to the door. None of it seemed genuine. She left with a click of the door, and all Leon could think was ‘ does she realize how fucking lucky she is ’.
He had walked in on so many of his friends it was almost a blessing during his junior days to not have heard how one of his teammates moans sounded.
But— fuck hearing Connor. There was a first for everything and christ was it everything.
Leon’s seen Connor is all sorts of types of undress, they’re hockey players for fucks sake. The locker room isn’t really a place to be a prude but y’know everyone does try to give off the impression of decency.
The first time he’d caught a glance of Connor in full frontal he couldn’t sleep for a week. His dreams haunting him of asking for something he’d never thought about before. He convinced himself he wasn’t like that- that he had a disease or something.
When he finally admitted to himself that okay yeah Connor’s kinda hot, maybe he wants to suck his dick and it’s okay to think that (as long as no one finds out). It got easier to manage and hide. Storing away those tender moments or quick locker room glances for much need alone time.
“Hey Leo sorry about that,” Connor says well scratching the back of his neck.
Leon finally looks at him. Sees how ruffled his hair is, how his neck is all chewed up, how flushed his cheeks are. The counter is hiding his lower half so Leon can’t be sure but he’s probably hard.
A thought flashes through his mind of pushing his captain against the counter and begging Connor to let him get this out of his system once and for all.
His knees shake as the fantasy fades. Connor’s looking at him, waiting for him to say something.
“I think I’m gonna go” Leon coughs. Connor’s face falls. Shit.
“What? I’m really sorry about that it was only bad timing.”
Leon shakes his head, looking down at the tiled flooring. If he looks at Connor he’s gonna do something stupid, “no no I know I- it’s not that I…”
He can’t come up with an excuse, he feels like the wind got knocked out of him. His chest tight, along with his pants. He hopes he never forgets how Connor’s moans sound.
Connor scoffs, “out of everyone I wouldn’t have expected you to be like this.”
Leon freezes. Was that… an insult? “What’s that supposed to mean?!” he barks.
Connor shrugs, “you’re usually pretty chill about… y’know… this kinda stuff.”
Not when I’m in love with you asshole. Leon shutters for the impact, before realizing he actually didn’t say that out loud.
Leon purses his lips, “sorry that I was expecting to come over here and hang out. That’s all.”
“Yeah well, I-” Connor pauses. The flash of hurt that washes over his face makes Leon realize he wasn’t looking for an argument, “Sometimes we see things we aren’t supposed too.”
Leon stares at him, confusion more or less being the key emotion here. But he’s also still a little pissed off too.
“I told you I was coming over.”
“It’s my fucking kitchen.”
“Yeah and it’s only your Fucking Kitchen cause you don’t know how to cook.”
“Oh grow up Leon.”
Leon rolls his eyes. “Sorry I got uncomfortable. Guess we aren’t those kind of friends.”
Connor stares at him blankly, “I’ve literally heard you talk in detail about you going down on a girl before.”
Leon sighs sharply, “Well that was in the past.”
Leon watches as Connor balls his fists up “God what the fuck is up with you lately!”
“Huh?!”
“You’ve not been yourself and everyone is starting to notice. The guys have been putting it on me to do something about it but that’s not my fucking job is it? And now this— you’re mad at me? It’s me Leon! I would never throw this back in your face for any reason!” He breathes heavily “I literally fucking haven’t just to spare you but god you make it so difficult.”
Leon feels himself shut down inside. And here he thought he was doing such a good job of hiding his feelings, and yet.
“I’m not having this conversation” Leon deadpans.
Connor’s eye narrow, “Fine. Fuck your feelings on this one.”
“What…?”
They’re still standing a whole kitchen apart from each other. Connor pacing in his small circle while Leon shifts his weight from one leg to the other.
“Few weeks ago when we were in St. Louis, I came to your room to borrow some sweats cause I had left my only pair at the rink.”
This isn’t a riveting story, this is fact. This happens all the time, them sharing clothes. Going into the others room without much thought. It’s never been an issue, nor has either of them walked in on something incriminating.
Or so Leon thought.
“You listened to me jerk off? ” Leon shouts.
Connor rolls his eyes, “fuck off you know that’s not all I heard.”
Leon thinks and then the realization hits him. Oh no. oh no oh no oh fuck no.
Connor’s smiling wickedly. What the fuck.
“Con I can explain—” Leon tries before Connor shushes him.
“How can you possibly explain you jerking off to a video of me calling you Leo, in any, way, shape or form hmm?”
So what if he’d given himself permission to act on his desires. Connor was the only person on this planet who could actively call him Leo. Everyone else, he shut that shit down. To Leon, it was a term of endearment and hearing Connor talk about him in an interview. All positives and a slightly dumb smile.
Leon would be lying if it didn’t give him hope that maybe Connor felt the same. He ached so hard for it, he came in the shower to the syllables of his nickname on Connor’s lips.
“I-I’m not gay” Leon says.
Connor huffs, “Bi maybe?”
“Just. Stop.”
Leon can feel his heartbeat in his throat, his palms damp with sweat, possibly some multiple organ failure too.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until it’s too late.
And when the first tear hits his cheek, Connor’s running across the tile to him.
“Jesus Christ Leon,” Connor says hoarsely. Grabbing his face to make Leon look at him.
Leon smiles through watery eyes, “I’m fucked up Connor. I never ever wanted you to know. Especially not like this.”
“Hey hey it’s okay. Fuck. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to make this worse.”
Leon pulls away from Connor’s hold. Connor lets him.
“Fuck” Leon mutters under his breath, breathing into his arm to slow the tears.
There’s silence. It’s awful. Leon fucking hates it. There’s not even a fan or a tv to make it somewhat bearable. Just Connor’s breathing behind him, his knowing eyes, his gorgeous face his boring personality that’s also kind, and endearing and oddly funny at times. Leon’s never loved anyone the way he loves Connor. What a disaster.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you requested a trade” Leon mutters out through a sniffle. Unable to look at the other man.
“A-A trade?” Connor coughs “Leon… Leo… Come on…It’s me.”
Leon turns on his heels and stalks up to Connor’s face, “Don’t Connor I fucking swear to god don’t do that shit to me.”
Connor shakes his head. Anyone would be terrified of Leon right now, breathing hard, staring intensely, hand up in accusement. But not Connor.
“Leon I’m here telling you that I’m not…” He sighs “I’ve had my time to process this. I was willing to ignore it to save you the hurt. But I see you Leon.”
Leon shakes his head, in disbelief? In hurt? In denial? He has no clue.
“I realize how much it’s eating you up and not being able to anything about it. It’s not only affecting you Leon.”
Leon stares dumbly at him “then what?! What am I supposed to do?”
There’s a pause.
Connor licks his lips, “kiss me.”
“What?! No?! Connor- this isn’t-”
“What? A game? Don’t you think I know that” He says gesturing to Leon entirely, “you’re physically upset. You’ve been more of an asshole in the last month than any other time that I’ve known you. This is clearly something you feel deeply and I’m giving you permission to act on it.”
“But-ohmygod what is happening right now-”
“This isn’t a game. This isn’t anything. I’m only trying to help you Leo.”
“This is so messed up.”
“Isn’t it what you want?”
“Want. Fuck yes absolutely, you have no idea” Leon says aspirated, desperate even, “But it’s …dirty- feels wrong. It won’t be genuine.”
“How do you know that?”
“Cause you don’t like me like that.”
Connor pauses, takes a deep breath and takes one final step closer into Leon’s space, “how do you know that?”
“Christ Connor-” Leon bites back.
“Kiss me. See if everything you’ve been wanting is worth it.”
Leon captures Connor’s lips with his own.
And Connor kisses him back.
“Are you gonna text that girl back?”
Connor fucking giggles, “fuck no.”
Leon picks him up and pushes him onto the counter. Connor leans forward ready to pick back up where they left off. Leon looks down, his hands on Connor’s thighs, “I’m sorry for being a bitch lately.”
Connor rubs at Leon’s forearms in comfort “I know what it’s like to feel trapped in your own head. I couldn’t take see it on you anymore.”
“So was this…planned then?” Leon asks.
Connor goes red in the cheeks, which sparks more curiosity.
“I couldn’t get your fucking groans out of my goddamn mind. I hooked up with that girl to hope it would, I don’t know, snap it out of me. But.”
“So today was what?”
“A really bad coincidence. She left her coat here almost 3 weeks ago, showed up on my doorstep right when I was replying to your text.”
Leon kisses him because he can. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
Connor sighs, “The things I felt for you, I chalked them up to just being in awe of you. You’re talent, your friendship, you’re overall everything. Little did I know, I think I’ve been equally yearning for you too.”
“We’re so dumb,” Leon chuckles.
“The worst,” Connor agrees.
They kiss again.
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leondraisaitlsglove · 11 hours ago
Note
Yearn
Read it on ao3
It wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before. Fuck Leon couldn’t give you an accurate number of how many times he’d walked on a teammate fooling around with a girl before. But Leon didn’t think he’d have to use the “walk in with your eyes closed first” method when he got to Connor’s house mid-afternoon on a Tuesday.
He wasn’t being too loud, but he also wasn’t trying to be quiet. He had texted Connor that he was going to come over to hang out, they did that on days off. Just watched tv and chilled, talked some hockey but not a lot. Sometimes they played ball in Connor’s gym, sometimes they went for a walk in the river valley. This whole situation wasn’t an uncommon thing.
So taking two steps into the house to walk into Connor’s kitchen. His mouth went dry at the sight before him.
A blonde haired girl arching her back against the counter. A strong hand was up her white shirt, as Connor dipped in to close his mouth against hers. She laughed into the kiss and he grinned, pulling hr closer. She moved her hand, and Connor moaned.
Her hand was down his shorts. Leon dropped his keys.
Connor jumped back from the girl in front of him. Leon didn’t know her but Connor’s Connor and  anyone would be so lucky.
“Hey-hey man-uh,” Connor cleared his throat, face flushed red.
The girl didn’t look too embarrassed, more or less amused as she hid her smile under her slender fingers.
Leon couldn’t speak. All that kept pumping through this brain was Connor’s lips, Connor’s hands, Connor’s moan, connorconnorconnor.
“I’m gonna go,” the blonde said with her overly chipper attitude.
“Yeah yeah.” Connor replied, sounding four times as awkward. She grabbed her bag and coat off the couch before stalking right up to Leon.
“It was nice to meet you” then over her shoulder “Connor text me,” before flashing Leon a smile on her way to the door. None of it seemed genuine. She left with a click of the door, and all Leon could think was ‘ does she realize how fucking lucky she is ’.
He had walked in on so many of his friends it was almost a blessing during his junior days to not have heard how one of his teammates moans sounded.
But— fuck hearing Connor. There was a first for everything and christ was it everything.
Leon’s seen Connor is all sorts of types of undress, they’re hockey players for fucks sake. The locker room isn’t really a place to be a prude but y’know everyone does try to give off the impression of decency.
The first time he’d caught a glance of Connor in full frontal he couldn’t sleep for a week. His dreams haunting him of asking for something he’d never thought about before. He convinced himself he wasn’t like that- that he had a disease or something.
When he finally admitted to himself that okay yeah Connor’s kinda hot, maybe he wants to suck his dick and it’s okay to think that (as long as no one finds out). It got easier to manage and hide. Storing away those tender moments or quick locker room glances for much need alone time.
“Hey Leo sorry about that,” Connor says well scratching the back of his neck.
Leon finally looks at him. Sees how ruffled his hair is, how his neck is all chewed up, how flushed his cheeks are. The counter is hiding his lower half so Leon can’t be sure but he’s probably hard.
A thought flashes through his mind of pushing his captain against the counter and begging Connor to let him get this out of his system once and for all.
His knees shake as the fantasy fades. Connor’s looking at him, waiting for him to say something.
“I think I’m gonna go” Leon coughs. Connor’s face falls. Shit.
“What? I’m really sorry about that it was only bad timing.”
Leon shakes his head, looking down at the tiled flooring. If he looks at Connor he’s gonna do something stupid, “no no I know I- it’s not that I…”
He can’t come up with an excuse, he feels like the wind got knocked out of him. His chest tight, along with his pants. He hopes he never forgets how Connor’s moans sound.
Connor scoffs, “out of everyone I wouldn’t have expected you to be like this.”
Leon freezes. Was that… an insult? “What’s that supposed to mean?!” he barks.
Connor shrugs, “you’re usually pretty chill about… y’know… this kinda stuff.”
Not when I’m in love with you asshole. Leon shutters for the impact, before realizing he actually didn’t say that out loud.
Leon purses his lips, “sorry that I was expecting to come over here and hang out. That’s all.”
“Yeah well, I-” Connor pauses. The flash of hurt that washes over his face makes Leon realize he wasn’t looking for an argument, “Sometimes we see things we aren’t supposed too.”
Leon stares at him, confusion more or less being the key emotion here. But he’s also still a little pissed off too.
“I told you I was coming over.”
“It’s my fucking kitchen.”
“Yeah and it’s only your Fucking Kitchen cause you don’t know how to cook.”
“Oh grow up Leon.”
Leon rolls his eyes. “Sorry I got uncomfortable. Guess we aren’t those kind of friends.”
Connor stares at him blankly, “I’ve literally heard you talk in detail about you going down on a girl before.”
Leon sighs sharply, “Well that was in the past.”
Leon watches as Connor balls his fists up “God what the fuck is up with you lately!”
“Huh?!”
“You’ve not been yourself and everyone is starting to notice. The guys have been putting it on me to do something about it but that’s not my fucking job is it? And now this— you’re mad at me? It’s me Leon! I would never throw this back in your face for any reason!” He breathes heavily “I literally fucking haven’t just to spare you but god you make it so difficult.”
Leon feels himself shut down inside. And here he thought he was doing such a good job of hiding his feelings, and yet.
“I’m not having this conversation” Leon deadpans.
Connor’s eye narrow, “Fine. Fuck your feelings on this one.”
“What…?”
They’re still standing a whole kitchen apart from each other. Connor pacing in his small circle while Leon shifts his weight from one leg to the other.
“Few weeks ago when we were in St. Louis, I came to your room to borrow some sweats cause I had left my only pair at the rink.”
This isn’t a riveting story, this is fact. This happens all the time, them sharing clothes. Going into the others room without much thought. It’s never been an issue, nor has either of them walked in on something incriminating.
Or so Leon thought.
“You listened to me jerk off? ” Leon shouts.
Connor rolls his eyes, “fuck off you know that’s not all I heard.”
Leon thinks and then the realization hits him. Oh no. oh no oh no oh fuck no.
Connor’s smiling wickedly. What the fuck.
“Con I can explain—” Leon tries before Connor shushes him.
“How can you possibly explain you jerking off to a video of me calling you Leo, in any, way, shape or form hmm?”
So what if he’d given himself permission to act on his desires. Connor was the only person on this planet who could actively call him Leo. Everyone else, he shut that shit down. To Leon, it was a term of endearment and hearing Connor talk about him in an interview. All positives and a slightly dumb smile.
Leon would be lying if it didn’t give him hope that maybe Connor felt the same. He ached so hard for it, he came in the shower to the syllables of his nickname on Connor’s lips.
“I-I’m not gay” Leon says.
Connor huffs, “Bi maybe?”
“Just. Stop.”
Leon can feel his heartbeat in his throat, his palms damp with sweat, possibly some multiple organ failure too.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until it’s too late.
And when the first tear hits his cheek, Connor’s running across the tile to him.
“Jesus Christ Leon,” Connor says hoarsely. Grabbing his face to make Leon look at him.
Leon smiles through watery eyes, “I’m fucked up Connor. I never ever wanted you to know. Especially not like this.”
“Hey hey it’s okay. Fuck. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to make this worse.”
Leon pulls away from Connor’s hold. Connor lets him.
“Fuck” Leon mutters under his breath, breathing into his arm to slow the tears.
There’s silence. It’s awful. Leon fucking hates it. There’s not even a fan or a tv to make it somewhat bearable. Just Connor’s breathing behind him, his knowing eyes, his gorgeous face his boring personality that’s also kind, and endearing and oddly funny at times. Leon’s never loved anyone the way he loves Connor. What a disaster.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you requested a trade” Leon mutters out through a sniffle. Unable to look at the other man.
“A-A trade?” Connor coughs “Leon… Leo… Come on…It’s me.”
Leon turns on his heels and stalks up to Connor’s face, “Don’t Connor I fucking swear to god don’t do that shit to me.”
Connor shakes his head. Anyone would be terrified of Leon right now, breathing hard, staring intensely, hand up in accusement. But not Connor.
“Leon I’m here telling you that I’m not…” He sighs “I’ve had my time to process this. I was willing to ignore it to save you the hurt. But I see you Leon.”
Leon shakes his head, in disbelief? In hurt? In denial? He has no clue.
“I realize how much it’s eating you up and not being able to anything about it. It’s not only affecting you Leon.”
Leon stares dumbly at him “then what?! What am I supposed to do?”
There’s a pause.
Connor licks his lips, “kiss me.”
“What?! No?! Connor- this isn’t-”
“What? A game? Don’t you think I know that” He says gesturing to Leon entirely, “you’re physically upset. You’ve been more of an asshole in the last month than any other time that I’ve known you. This is clearly something you feel deeply and I’m giving you permission to act on it.”
“But-ohmygod what is happening right now-”
“This isn’t a game. This isn’t anything. I’m only trying to help you Leo.”
“This is so messed up.”
“Isn’t it what you want?”
“Want. Fuck yes absolutely, you have no idea” Leon says aspirated, desperate even, “But it’s …dirty- feels wrong. It won’t be genuine.”
“How do you know that?”
“Cause you don’t like me like that.”
Connor pauses, takes a deep breath and takes one final step closer into Leon’s space, “how do you know that?”
“Christ Connor-” Leon bites back.
“Kiss me. See if everything you’ve been wanting is worth it.”
Leon captures Connor’s lips with his own.
And Connor kisses him back.
“Are you gonna text that girl back?”
Connor fucking giggles, “fuck no.”
Leon picks him up and pushes him onto the counter. Connor leans forward ready to pick back up where they left off. Leon looks down, his hands on Connor’s thighs, “I’m sorry for being a bitch lately.”
Connor rubs at Leon’s forearms in comfort “I know what it’s like to feel trapped in your own head. I couldn’t take see it on you anymore.”
“So was this…planned then?” Leon asks.
Connor goes red in the cheeks, which sparks more curiosity.
“I couldn’t get your fucking groans out of my goddamn mind. I hooked up with that girl to hope it would, I don’t know, snap it out of me. But.”
“So today was what?”
“A really bad coincidence. She left her coat here almost 3 weeks ago, showed up on my doorstep right when I was replying to your text.”
Leon kisses him because he can. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
Connor sighs, “The things I felt for you, I chalked them up to just being in awe of you. You’re talent, your friendship, you’re overall everything. Little did I know, I think I’ve been equally yearning for you too.”
“We’re so dumb,” Leon chuckles.
“The worst,” Connor agrees.
They kiss again.
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leondraisaitlsglove · 12 hours ago
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sorry ive just been going through your blog (love it btw) and the thing that gets me is theres all these rumours of leon or connor being cheats and flirts but then there's actually video evidence of them in vegas and the only people they are flirting with is each other. makes you think right
I think you’ve connected the dots.
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leondraisaitlsglove · 20 hours ago
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brendan perlini | after hours | 01/22/2022
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leondraisaitlsglove · 20 hours ago
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I’m going to be super annoying during all stars I just wanted to warn you all <3
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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“Leo” — Connor Mcdavid post game raw January 25 2022
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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connor can't seem to stop touching leon and he's so right for this!
RIIGHT UGH and the thing is Leon does it right back in his own way like grabbing Connor’s waist or holding onto his shoulder or slapping Connor’s ass and it’s just 😵‍💫😵‍💫
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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clouder is very excited about the win
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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i love them
same bestie same
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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That mcdrai hug at the end of the game was life affirming but also when Connor wrapped his arm around leon on the bench after the go ahead goal I wanted to scream. Like I'm angry that the broadcast didn't zoom in on it, but at the same time I think a close up of Connor looking proud and happy while clutching Leon would have killed me.
WHOA WHOA okay so I didn't watch the game on tv cause I was at rogers but
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h myo god???
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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like 😭
omg pls i didnt see that :(((( im glad theyve won 2 games now so we havent had to see more of that
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leondraisaitlsglove · a day ago
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└  Oilers vs Canucks /  Jan 25 2022 
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leondraisaitlsglove · 4 days ago
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Here’s a video of Mcdrai’s warm up routine.
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leondraisaitlsglove · 4 days ago
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🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
connor mcdavid | EDM v. CGY | 01/22/2022
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leondraisaitlsglove · 4 days ago
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ryan mcleod & mikko koskinen
cgy @ edm | 01.22.22
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leondraisaitlsglove · 4 days ago
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2022.01.22
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leondraisaitlsglove · 4 days ago
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drai being the supportive dad <3
leon draisaitl | post-raw | 01/22/2022
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