lgrim-99

[lgrim-99]

i watched little women and pride and prejudice back to back and now i really want to make a jegulily au set in victorian england... i just think it would be neat

[lgrim-99]

Categorically, I’m one of the lucky ones. Both my parents are employed, and I have an employment opportunity coming up quite soon. We own our house, I’ve never had to go hungry, and we always have heat, electricity, and Wi-Fi.

and yet. AND YET.

We are barely above the poverty line. Some years I had to go without school lunches because we couldn’t afford the fees. We save money wherever and whenever we can. Going out to eat at a burger joint is a special treat for special occasions because we can’t afford it often. Some of my favorite foods and snacks- pomegranates, veggie straws, chips, hell, even lemonade -are luxuries because we just don’t have the money to spare for it. The attitude has rubbed off on me so much that I go out of my way to avoid spending money and I feel guilty when others spend money on me, even for things like gifts or fucking therapy.

If any of our phones were to break, it would probably ruin us. If any of our cars broke down it would be even worse. One of the reasons I got into achievement hunting and building and exploring in video games is because buying new games is almost always a luxury we can’t afford. I use achievement hunting and making complex builds and finding all the Easter eggs as a way to squeeze out every last bit of enjoyment I can from a game so I can last until we can afford to get new ones. All of our clothes are thrifted or second hand. Same for most of our furniture. We stay in our house all day not only because we don’t like going out often and there isn’t a lot to do, but because WE CANT AFFORD TO DO FUN THINGS MORE THAN A FEW TIMES A YEAR.

I worry constantly about how my basic needs affect my family’s wealth. And we’re the lucky ones, because I’ve never had to worry about being homeless. I don’t consider myself very lucky, actually. My family worries constantly about money. They hate their jobs. They can’t afford to get new jobs because going without a paycheck is too risky. And how would they get new jobs? Neither of them went to college, and we don’t have the money for any of us to go. I’m basically unemployable in my current mental state, and that’s not liable to change. We’re lucky. Most of my friends have it way worse than I do. And yet I don’t feel very fucking lucky.

Everyone talks about poverty in the context of not being able to eat or receive reliable healthcare. Obviously those are huge fucking issues that need to be immediately addressed, and I don’t mean to minimize them. But I hardly see anyone talking about the kind of poverty that gives you just enough to get by a little comfortably- but no more than that. You have the money for your home, your food, your car. But you don’t have money for games. You don’t have money to go out and eat something nice. You don’t have money to buy toys for your kids. You don’t have money to see a movie, or buy that new phone that would be such an improvement over the secondhand one you have now. You don’t have money for anything that would put you at ease. And yet, you’re made to feel lucky, that you should be grateful. You’re not poor, poor people can’t put food on the table. Stop complaining. Be grateful. You could have it so much worse.

No one even addresses that yes it could be worse. But it sure as hell could be a lot fucking better, too. And that kills me.

[lgrim-99]

If you take the bus, wave to the driver and thank them as you're getting off the bus.

Being a bus driver is an underappreciated and difficult job but still very vital to society. They still have to do customer service and deal with rude and even aggressive passengers, and on top of that have to deal with traffic and other drivers all day (and let's face it, there's a lot of bad drivers out there who aren't considerate about sharing the road). All while providing an invaluable service of getting us where we need to go. Showing them some appreciation can go a long ways for someone doing such an important job that usually gets little to no recognition or thanks.

[lgrim-99]

[lgrim-99]

i was made to be the sweetest girl ever. it’s on you if i turn evil

[lgrim-99]

Just figured out that I'm very heavily experiencing passive suicidal ideation and I can't talk about it with the ppl i know because it won't change shit.

[lgrim-99]

myths & martyrs, and what they leave behind.

transformers comic (source by @mythgradeconstellation, fellow ORV lover??) // André Malraux quoted by Mary Gordon in Joan of Arc: A Life // Gregory Orr // the tragic hero; michael kinnucan, the gods show up // Loss, H.D. // Margarita Karapanou // Hélène Cixous, The Selected Plays of Hélène Cixous // this post // it's hard to be a saint in the city, Bruce Springsteen //  i know it’s over, the smiths // unknown // on earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong // unknown

[lgrim-99]

[lgrim-99]

“Everything that happens helps you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now.”

— Unknown

[lgrim-99]

telling myself i will be able to visit italy at some point in my life or else

[lgrim-99]

i just wanna be financially stable so i can buy lil fancy groceries sometimes and take a trip and take classes for fun and pay off loans and get more clothes

[lgrim-99]

[lgrim-99]

never disrespect a girl that made sure you were okay when nobody else did

[lgrim-99]

“It’s weird to feel like you miss someone you’re not even sure you know.”

— David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

[lgrim-99]

I hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.

[lgrim-99]

“It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked.”

— Rob Bell

[lgrim-99]

Someone being patient with you is one of the softest forms of love