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Send 💄 and my muse will write your muse a message in lipstick
Send 💄 + reverse for your muse to leave the message. Be sure to include what they write!
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“Krampus” (2015) Starters
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“Was that the chance and hope that you mentioned, _____?”
“He even told _____ that Santa was just a cheap marketing ploy invented to sell Pepsi.”
“And was drop-kicking _____ into the manger really the best way to handle this?”
“Okay, that was not my fault. I was under the influence. All I had to eat was Christmas fudge and candy canes.”
“I just–I didn’t want it ruined for the little kids.”
“But is this a war on Christmas, a war on over-political correctness or–”
“_____ bought a bunch of cookies at the store.”
“Thought you said you weren’t working over Christmas.”
“Yeah, my _____ is/are crawling out of the shallow end of the gene pool, so everyone’s/_____ a little on edge.”
“Tonight we’re making a Japanese snowflake tree or some crap.”
“I like snowflakes, but I like my plan a lot better.”
“Very enticing.”
“So where’s the ‘nog? I need to get merry.”
“Wow, looks like _____’s really enjoying my gravlax.”
“Hear what happened to Santa? Heard it on the news. His sleigh crashed in the Rockies. Shattered both his legs. Frostbite took care of his pain but not his hunger. So, to survive, he had to slaughter and eat his reindeer. Including Rudolph. ‘Ate’ tiny reindeer. Get it?”
“You know, they’re leaving right after Christmas, so we only have to survive another… three days.“ “ “They can see dust specks on Mars, but no one noticed a giant blizzard hurtling towards us.”
“There’s a snowman in our yard.”
“Roads are a nightmare.”
“_____ says hot chocolate makes everything better.
“Yeah, it’s under the tree next to your ties and underwear.”
“Global warming, my ass. Must be negative 20 out here.”
“What I wouldn’t give for a little Bing Crosby right about now.”
“You packed guns on Christmas.”
“See? A little sugar and a little spice… makes everything nice.”
“It’s damn near frostbite in under four minutes!”
“Sure, _____. Christmas on a pig farm.”
“Jesus was born in a barn!”
“And nothing bad’s gonna happen on Christmas, right?”
“Let’s get cozy on the couch.”
“And the angel said unto them– 'fear not. For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy.’”
“Yeah, well, you know– _____ always gets a little weird around Christmas.”
“_____, get the fire extinguisher!”
“And for the first time, I didn’t wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away.”
“And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard, I got my wish.”
“Krampus came not to reward, but to punish.”
“But what if you’ve been good, like, all year? And you leave out milk and cookies and do everything else right?”
“I just wanna get these rewrapped for _____.”
“The mall doubles as an emergency shelter.”
“Well, a shepherd’s got to protect his/her flock.”
“Come up here and I’ll show you.”
“_____, I just got my ass kicked by a bunch of Christmas cookies, so trust me when I say I can take it!”
“Get your gloves on.”
“I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be.”
“Thanks for making pancakes.”
“Hey, _____. We/I thought the sugarplum fairies may have gotten you.”
“I haven’t felt this hungover since the pope died.”
“Enough with the sappy crap. Let’s open up the presents.”
“_____, that’s/it’s beautiful.”
“It’s nothing, just– Merry Christmas.”
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Send 🎃 and I will sum up our muses’ relationship in a Halloween-themed gif!
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Send 🌽 for our muses to hook up in a corn maze
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Muse A left a dessert cooling on the windowsill
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Muse B follows the trail of beckoning steam to its source and steals the goods! 
Send 🥧 for this scenario to play out. Specify which muse is which.
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heatwave starter sentences
“I can’t bear this heat anymore.” “I’m melting. I’m actually melting.” “What? You said ‘get me something cold’. You never implied I couldn’t throw it over you.” “Don’t be a pussy, it’s just a bit of warm weather.” “We’re going to the beach. Now.” “Yes, I’m naked and no I’m not ashamed.” “Is it socially acceptable to go out in nothing but a wet towel?” “Wow, you look even worse than I feel.” “Just how many popsicles have you had already?” *runs ice cube along the back of your neck* *throws you into the pool, whether you want it or not* “If you’re that hot, then why don’t you take something off?” “No, no, no… not now. It’s way too warm for sex.” “I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know existed.” “I went out for ten minutes. Ten minutes! Look at me, I’m basically fried.” “That looks like a nasty sunburn…” “You’re not going out there before I’m lathered you in sun cream.” “I can’t get up… Can you get up? I can’t… I can’t get up.” “You’re such a stick in the mud! Everyone’s out enjoying the weather and you’re sitting inside complaining about it.” “Another shower?” “Please kill me now. This is unbearable.” “Let’s break into that office block. I’m sure they have air conditioning.” “I know! Let’s have a water balloon fight.” *sprays you with a water pistol* *blows cold air into your neck* “I can think of some more things to do with ice cubes…” “This is the perfect timing for an ice bucket challenge.” “I can’t sleep in this heat.” “I might as well sleep in the bathtub and it would be less wet.” “I need refuge, my airco broke.” “Your neighbours have a swimming pool, right? Let’s sneak in tonight.” “I’m going to book a holiday to Alaska. Now.” “I shouldn’t have stayed out so long… I think I have a heatstroke.” “Is that a rain cloud? Is that a mother fucking rain cloud?!” “Did you feel that? It was a breeze. We are blessed.” “Even my cat wanted to take a shower.” “Don’t smell me. There’s no deodorant that can mask this.” *throws water balloon straight at your face* “I take it back, summer is not my favourite season at all.” “I made an ice water bath, specially for you.” “If only it was always this nice and warm.” “I feel lazy and it’s great.” “Let’s go to the supermarket again and take a very long time staring at the frozen vegetables.”
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Yet Another Bob’s Burgers Sentence Starter Meme
“You people don’t deserve to eat Lance. Lance is my friend, okay? Ow, Lance, you’re burning my arm.”
“We’re not kissing _____.”
“I may or may not have tried crack.”
“And _____, you actually banged us to freedom.”
“If I were a hamburger, you’d come watch me fight.”
“Mmm, manimal.”
“Be my all-American fix-it man/woman, _____.”
“I’m working on my mating list for when we have to repopulate the world.”
“But it’s good. Because you see your whole life pass before you as you’re burning. And every pair of pants you’ve ever worn. And you’ll see the love of your life, dancing salsa in Jamaica by him/herself.”
“I’ve been talking to a turkey for a long time now. But I drank a lot of absinthe, just to be fair.”
“I want to be edgy like them. Pill-popping sex freaks!”
“Oh, I still haven’t finished my Sex on the Beach from that foot clinic doctor.”
“I’m sick of acting like a dumb, helpless girl/boy just so a hot girl/boy who *insert tendencies or hobby here* will notice me. That’s not who I am. I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman/man.”
“It’s really none of our business. …I’m telling everybody when we get home.”
“They’re down in the basement grinding the meat right now.”
“Somebody threw a snow cone at my windshield today. I thought I hit a rainbow. It was terrifying.”
“No one wants to ride Extra Wood Mountain.”
“See, that’s how you put on handcuffs.”
“Has he/she been nude with you, _____?”
“Oh. Hey, Marshmallow.”
“I told _____ I had incriminating pictures of him/her. Because I drew some incriminating pictures of him/her.”
“Man, you’re ripped. Your abs look like challah bread.”
“What the hell else does he/she like? I want to give him/her things.”
“That pain doesn’t go away; it only gets worse. Don’t get older.”
“I saw a kid lick another kid’s eyeball.”
“Crash-landing really is an aphrodisiac.”
“Cut me open and crawl inside me. One of us should live.”
“He/she has a live animal trap from the time he/she thought a squirrel was stealing his/her mail.”
“Uh, be cool out there. Don’t Bogart the snacks– and if the po-po rolls up, your first call’s to your lawyer, not your mom.”
“You’re in trouble! Non-canonical! Non-canonical!”
“You’ve been saying crepe under your breath for ten minutes.”
“This is the biggest man-cave ever, and _____’s going spelunking.”
“Hello, Glamsterdam.”
“Also, if boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses.”
“Make up a story about how you single-handedly murdered a wild animal.
“Your story is going to release a hormone, deep inside her body, called Insatia.”
"Yeah! Anuses!“
”You didn’t just want to kiss me just now?“
"Oh, my God, _____’s boobs just popped out of his/her wet suit.”
“Well, I’m still gluing a knife to my foot.”
“My porcelain horse, Horselain!”
"I think my subconscious fears and my budding sexuality are getting all mixed up. So I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming ‘Do you wanna make out?’ … And I make out with it.“
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Send ⛱️ + a word of your choice
for a response where our muses to engage in some summer themed smut related to your prompt! ⛱️   
Remember: check your partner’s triggers and rules before sending this meme!
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Your muse has a single token to they keep to remind them of my muse. What is it?
A locket? A ticket stub? Something more sinister? The more backstory behind the object, the better!
Send “Token + reverse” to find out what memento my muse keeps to remind them of your muse. 
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“Robin Hood: Men in Tights” Starters
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Change pronouns, etc. as needed.
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“Hey nonny nonny and a ho ho ho!” “I’m so sorry, but we cannot seat you without the proper attire. See?” “That’s much better. Now, I leave you in the capable hands of ____.”
“And if there’s anything you require, please don’t hesitate to scream.” “And which king might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Larry King?” “Now that you’re here with me, what we have is great strength of feet!” “Oh, damn my eyes!” “I just told him the good news and… and… and I’m in deep shit.” “I hope someone’s getting the video of this.” “Your back just got punched twice.” “Okay, honkies. Time in!” “But you grew some nice boobs!” “Unfortunately, my *relative/authority figure* couldn’t get me into the National Guard.” “Pissed off? If I was that close to a ____’s wiener, I’d worry about getting pissed on.” “I’ll pay for this!  … You’ll pay for this! Kill them! Wait, I’ve changed my mind!” “Good. Tell them that. And tell them I vow to put an end to the injustice. Right the wrongs. End the tyranny. Restore the throne. Protect the forest. Introduce folk dancing. Demand a four-day workweek and health care for Saxons and Normans.”
“You better get out of that tub before that thing begins to rust.” “I hope against hope, I wish against wish, that the heavens/*whatever* bring me a kind, wonderful, gentle man who possesses the key to my… heart.” “The day began so good. I had a good night’s sleep. I had a good BM. I don’t wanna hear any bad news.“ “Maybe if you tell me the bad news in a good way, it won’t sound so bad.” “Looks like a Seder at Vincent Price’s house.” “It’s very fascinating, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to hurt you.”
“Not the point. It’s the principle of the thing.” “What part of ____ you from? South Central? “Man, white men can’t jump.” “You look ravishing, my dear.” “Rumors of your beauty have traveled far and wide, yet I see they hardly do you justice.” “It’s been a wonderful party, and we’d love to stay and all that, but I’m afraid we really must dash.” “That’s disgusting.” “We didn’t land on Sherwood Forest! Sherwood Forest landed on us!” “Now, ____, the object of this exercise is to hit the target.” “What are you smelling?” “Take a heavy rock. Put it where I’m sitting. Then pull that lever.” “Kiss me! Kiss me! Touch me!” “I was that close. I touched it.” “And who might you be with the long feather in your hat?” “Suck what?” “____ is gonna be D-E-D. Dead.” “But first, I must warn you: it could only be a kiss. For I am a virgin and could never… go all the way. Unless, of course, I were married. Or if a man pledged his endless love to me. Or if I knew that he desperately cared for me. Or if he were really cute.” “____, fix your boobs.” “Schmuck!” “Oh, good. They’ve opened the salad bar.” “You’ll be mine? You’ll give yourself to me every night? And sometimes right after lunch?” “Would you care for a blindfold?” “Consider this foreplay!” “It is the key to the greatest treasure in all the land!” “It’s not the size that counts! It’s how you use it!” “I always wanted to marry a ____.” “Wait. I have an idea. Call a locksmith!”
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Send my muse a word and my muse will tell you the first word that comes to their mind.
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Send three names!
My muse will respond with the role they’d take in a sexual encounter with each: sub, dom, switch. 
Remember: check your partner’s triggers and rules before sending this meme!
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Awkward Romance, Mood-Killers, and Sometimes NSFW Moments Gone Awry Meme
Triggers for cheating, pregnancy, sex, menstruation, injury, parental issues, and possibly a few other things. Prompts can be randomized or specific numbers sent in depending on preference. Please update pronouns and paraphrase as necessary!
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1. “Listen, it really is okay. It happens to lots of guys/girls/people.” 2. Muse A sweeps Muse B off their feet and into the bedroom, only to bash Muse B’s head on the doorframe as they cross the threshold.  3. Muse A or Muse B accidentally calls out someone else’s name during sex. A fight ensues. 4. “I have a headache.” 5. Muse A accidentally throws out their back while having sex.
Keep reading
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Send  👠 to my inbox and my muse will step on your muse while wearing high heels
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Surveillance Meme
Doubles as stalking and voyeurism for scumbag muses. Trigger warnings!
Send a prompt/symbol for:
📷 —     My muse to text your muse a photo of them taken without their knowledge 🔭 —     My muse to watch yours through a scope 🎤 —     My muse to record your muse’s private conversation 🚗 —     My muse to tail yours throughout their day/night 🎉 —     My muse to photograph yours at a fancy party 🕵️ —      My muse to follow yours on a date 💻 —     My muse to read through your muse’s receipts/electronic records 📻 —     My muse to listen to your muse through bugs planted in your muse’s home/workplace, etc. 👀 —     My muse to conduct surveillance on your muse’s friends/loved ones 🍻 —     My muse to go undercover at your muse’s workplace, a favorite spot of theirs, etc. 🎥 —     My muse to observe yours through video surveillance equipment 🗑️ —     My muse to go through your muse’s trash 🚪 —     My muse to be forced to hide in your muse’s closet to avoid being caught 📔 —     My muse to track your muse’s schedule throughout the day 😊 —     My muse to infiltrate your muse’s friend circle + reverse to switch things up!
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send ♒ for a starter where my muse is suffering a high fever but hasn’t told anyone.
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send ⌛ for my muse to hold their weapon to yours’ head or throat.
scenario may vary
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