liminalperson

[liminalperson]

Update:

So I know I’ve only talked about two SDs on here thus far, but I’ve also been talking to a couple others just in case these two don’t work out, or I don’t want to continue seeing these people (looking at you, SD #2). I started talking to a new potential last night after I got back from my “date” with Andrew (SD#2) and we clicked so well that we immediately set a date to meet when he’s in town two weeks from now. 

He was very humble, mild-mannered and genuinely an entertaining conversation partner. We had a couple things in common, like our ethnicity and love of certain odd foods and we also spoke the same language (apart from English). He’s not in town often but he wanted to pay me around $4-500 per meet. He tried to be very polite when asking about the terms of our arrangement, if I had any likes or dislikes when it came to relationships and what I would like to do when he comes. I’m getting good signals from this guy, Bob(?), especially since he wasn’t shy about sending photos of his face. I hope this one pulls through.. I’ll have to find another one that I can see more often so I can possibly drop SD #2, and I’m not even sure about what’s going to happen with SD #1. It’s not looking pretty guys. I might have to cater to this foot fetish a little more. 

I’ll give Bob a different name if we establish something... For now, he asked me to pick a place we could grab dinner. I know I’ve got like two weeks but I’d prefer to get that over with sooner than later. Fingers crossed!

Ciao for now!

[liminalperson]

3

Aaron is coming back from his business trip this week, but I’ve already lost interest. I texted him once a couple days after our last conversation and the guy couldn’t be bothered to reply. I know, I know. A lot of busy men use arrangements because they don’t want to/can’t fully commit to a relationship when they’re constantly travelling and working odd hours. I get it, but it doesn’t take even 5 minutes to reply. Maybe I’m just being sensitive? Probably, but I also don’t like being kept in the dark. 

For example, Aaron doesn’t reply, but he has the time to be on the SD website (It shows when people are online and the last date of activity). He also specified that he’s looking for monogamy, but I’m not getting those vibes from his recent patterns. Anyways, I’m just not going to read too much into it. I know I can drop him if need be. Why? Well, let me tell you a story of SD #2!

SD #2 is 31 years old, and we’ll call him Andrew! Andrew is... a dude with dad bod and an expensive yet poor sense of fashion. Hermes, Christian Louboutin, and Moschino but all very uncoordinated. He wore expensive sweats and slides, was 20 minutes late, even though I said what time and where a couple days ago. I don’t like tardiness, especially on the first “date”. Also, two strikes against him, he’s already flaked the day of a previous time. At least I hadn’t even gotten ready to go out, otherwise I would’ve dropped him like a hot mess.

Ten minutes before our meet up time, I pulled in to the cafe’s parking lot and just sat in my car. This guy was my least favorite options honestly, because he wasn’t of his looks. Now, before y’all go jumping the gun and saying I’m being shallow, I’m talking about his looks as in self-grooming. He wasn’t growing out a beard, but he hadn’t shaven. He wore slides and sweats, and he wore way too much cologne. 

On a first date no less. And here I am with a full, but light, face of makeup, my hair done, a cute but casual outfit with some pointed flats and this guy shows up like he literally rolled out of bed. That irked me so much. Anyways, he called to let me know he was like 5 minutes away and when he got here, I could literally feel all eyes in the cafe on us (maybe it’s just my imagination) and only heard one thing, “Why is she with him?” Answer: $$$ but to be honest, I don’t know how long I can swallow my disdain for this guy.

This is one of my less fabulous encounters so I honestly wouldn’t read past this.

After we chatted at the coffee shop, we went to his car, his daily commute car which is a Merc-Benz. It had all the bells and whistles but also reeked of cigarette smoke and air freshener. We talked about our arrangement terms and then some. He took me to a motel and we had sex. It was so fucking difficult to get him to go get the condom from his car. I had to tell him to wash his fucking hand as he started to make his way down my pants (he JUST smoked with that hand). 

And to top it off, he had a fucking foot fetish that he failed to mention. I guess it’s fine. I’d rather him focus on my feet than the rest of my body. He kept sucking on my toes and licking the rest of my feet. 

He had a small penis, maybe 4 inches(?) because it fit into my fist and didn’t go past my index finger, when it was erect. I don’t know how many times I had to repeat in my head,  “do it for the money, do it for the money”, but at least he was quick. He asked to come on my feet which was new for me, but I figured was better than it getting anywhere else. Ugh, it was weird, but at least I didn’t have to wash his ejaculation off anywhere else on my body. I should get an Oscar for how convincing I probably sounded during the sex. Pro tip: if the guy’s not attractive, say you like doggy-style so you don’t have to look at him and you can make fake noises without having to commit to it with your facial expressions.

After I finished washing up, we sat on the bed and he said that he only brought me to this motel because he didn’t want to bring me over to his place the first time we met. I guess that’s fine. I felt more like a hooker to day than anything so,... whatevs. We got back in the car, and he sped away to the cafe parking lot again. When we got there, he asked what brands I liked, when I was free and then he handed me three crisp Benjamins. Easiest, yet easily the grossest $300 I’ve ever made. We made plans to go on a date this Wednesday, but hopefully there won’t be any sex involved. UGH I need to find some other SD’s...

[liminalperson]

Shut the door

My break up was not as bad as... ah who am I kidding? It was miserable. I cried so much, my face was swollen the next day and I took an ice pack to face for an hour or two. As dramatic as it sounds, I wasn’t ready to face the world. So I skipped class, and I skipped work. I know it was the right thing to do. I was placing my happiness in my boyfriend before I could find happiness within myself. 

Before I date anyone, I’m going to ask myself, “Am I happy and content with being alone, first?” 

And that, my dear readers, is the right question.

[liminalperson]

I’m breaking up with my boyfriend

Possibly, today. Time to rip off the bandage, I suppose.

[liminalperson]

2

First off, I’d like to say that Daddy has a sweet as ride. Fuck I can’t believe I’m actually saying Daddy.. I’ll give you a hint: it’s got four rings in the front and a hell of a lot of leather inside. When the valet brought out his ride, I tried so hard not to gawk. This isn’t my first rodeo, I’ve ridden in some nice BMWs, but this Audi was a beaut. I lowered myself into the passenger seat and strapped myself in just as Aaron sped off towards the Japanese restaurant. 

When we arrived, I was impressed at the sheer size of the restaurant. When we stepped in, I could see the gardens and traditional Japanese structures. Since the menu was extensive, I suggested he order. He ordered a sushi platter, two rolls and a carafe of sake. 

Over sushi, our conversation flowed, though to be honest, I don’t recall everything we talked about, but I just remember we kept talking about our interests, our likes, dislikes all while keeping eye contact with him. Our plates were cleared and only our two sake glasses remained. I poured him half of the remaining sake and the rest in mine.

“I really like that. The pouring a drink for someone else.”

I laughed.

“It’s a habit since I learned how to drink from my parents and also socially, from a bunch of Asians that were fresh from the Motherland.”

“That’ll do it! It’s different, since I don’t get this treatment from non-Asian dates.”

Bonus points for being different, but it’s not really a credit to me, but I guess I got lucky that he doesn’t normally date Asians,...even if he’s Asian himself.

Our dinner came to a close, and as we walked out, I slipped my fingers into his and he held it just for a moment and let go to open the door for me. Then, we raced off to midtown condo. 

We arrived to his condo, but it turns out he was actually staying at a buddy of his who also shared it with his sister who happened to be away in Europe. To be honest, this struck me as a little odd because the place seemed so.. lived in for him. It almost seemed like it was his place, but there was also a lot of a woman’s belongings. In the bathroom, the cluttered double vanity, the way he and his dog seemed so settled into the place. There were a lot more men’s shoes than women’s. Something seems off and I really want to ask. 

The next few parts are for NSFW, not suitable for underage, young adults. Move on.

Anyways, back to bedroom. We started off with me giving him a nice back rub with some hot cream, there was also the option of a floral Bath & Body Works lotion, but we decided not to. I asked him if he could just use this supposed roommate’s sister’s stuff without permission and he said it doesn’t matter. Again, highly sus, I know. We continued with the massage. When he started making moves, I told him I was on my period so we couldn’t have sex. This resulted with his dick in my mouth for a whole 5 minutes before he came. We laughed at the fact that his dick and my lips were burning from the hot cream that transferred from my hands. We sipped on some hard seltzer as he ordered me an Uber. He walked me out, kissed me good bye and asked me to text him when I got home. 

When I got home, I let him know I arrived and we texted back and forth for a little bit but he stopped replying. Thinking that he might’ve ghosted me. I don’t know. If anything, I got free drinks, a ride around town in a nice car, bomb-ass sushi for free. If I don’t get a SD from this encounter, I had fun and I’ve still got two more lined up. Here’s to hoping, cause he was better looking than the others.

Ciao for now.

[liminalperson]

1

Buckle your seats everyone cause it’s gonna be a wild one today.

Just kidding, but this is kind of long, so feel free to skip ahead!

This Sunday, I made plans to meet with Aaron*, one of the Sugar Daddies (SD) I’m talking to. He’s 34 so the gross factor wasn’t an issue for me; I had dated a couple guys around their 30s a while back so the age wasn’t new. The nature of our first date was a different story.

You know those jitters you get when you’re about to meet your first date and your eye keeps wandering towards the entrance? Imagine that plus the feeling of say, a job interview. I was a sweaty, clammy mess but thank the Lord my date was running late. This gave me time to go into the restroom and wipe my sweat, take a nervous pee and reapply my lip tint. I took one last look and nervously teetered out of the bathroom, hoping that my date wasn’t waiting as soon as I stepped out.

When I got back to the velvet armchair, my date still hadn’t arrived yet. So obviously I called my best friend, the only person who knows about this, except you, dear reader, practically begging her to help me calm my nerves. She reminded me that again, he wasn’t so completely out of my usual age range that I’ve met in the past and to remember that it’s a date. And while I was on the phone with her, I spied out of the corner of my eye, a figure making its way towards me. This entire time that I had spent sitting in the lounge, there had been several gentleman that had passed by and my mind had not registered them as significant. But my mind pinned this one figure in the corner of my eye. It was him, and I knew it, mostly cause he actually looked like his profile picture. (HAH! Bitch, this ain’t no love story!)

He greeted me with a side hug, intro and we headed to the bar to grab drinks. The bartender came up and asked me what I’d like evening.

“I’m an Old Fashioned kind of person.”

“Seriously? I was going to order the same.”

This sparked conversations about our old drinking habits, our preferences and the bartender chimed in with some recommendations while we waited. Once we grabbed our drinks, we headed back to the plush armchairs and continued our conversations. Hey, the sparks were there! At least, the “first date” kind. We talked about everything from our Myers-Brigg personality, which we happen to be the same type: go figure, to our dogs. I asked him to show me a picture of his dog (two words: too cute).

“Don’t worry, you’re going to see him later anyways.”

Well, that’s one way to send the blood rushing to my cheeks. Over text messages, Aaron had said that we’d grab drinks and if it worked out, we’d go from there. I guess we really hit it off if we’re only on round one and he’s already wanting to take me back his place. That and he probably liked my ass. 

On his phone he started opening up the Yelp app. I asked if we could look together as an excuse to lean in closer. He obliged and he asked if I was hungry.

“I could go for something light, like sushi. What about you?”

“I was just looking at sushi places around here. Let’s go!”

We swigged our drinks and headed towards the door.

* All names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

[liminalperson]

“Baby”

Q. How did I get to this point?

A. Fuck if I’ll know. Wait, no I know. I signed up on a sugar daddy/sugar baby website, yesterday, and I got some attention. So, I talked to a few guys here and there, all relatively younger. The oldest man I’m talking to is 45 years old, but to be honest, I don’t know if I could stomach even that. The rest are 35, 34 and 31 years old. I haven’t met them yet, I haven’t received any money from them yet but I will document all of that as it comes.

Q. Do I feel guilty? 

A. HELL YES. To my parents, my baby brother, my boyfriend (soon-to-be ex), but I’m struggling even with my part-time job and being a full-time student. I had to find another way, a slightly easier way.

Q. Boyfriend?

A. Yes. I was going to break up with him before the whole sugar baby situation. I felt like our relationship was stagnant and we wanted different things. I don’t want to get married, it’s far from my thoughts, but for him, and his age, he’s ready to settle down. There’s also the fact that he’s not financially prepared to get married and neither am I. I grew up in a home that struggled around money and was stressed about that. I’d rather not pass that onto my future children. I want to wait and meet a man that’s established. In the meantime, I will focus on my education and this is just another means to. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Yes, I’m going to break up with my boyfriend, but not because of the sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangements.

Q. What’s next?

A. I get to meet them all this week. Time to go shopping, I guess, ugh... *think of it as an investment, think of it as an investment*

[liminalperson]

Hello

“A liminal space is the time between the 'what was' and the 'next.' It is a place of transition, waiting, and not knowing. Liminal space is where all transformation takes place, if we learn to wait and let it form us.”

I’ll be honest, since this is what this space is for. I’ve just entered the universe of Sugaring. No, not the personal grooming kind; the sugar baby/sugar daddy kind. And I’m going to be documenting my thoughts here because if I don’t, I’ll probably go insane. I chose liminal as my theme because I’m not sure what’s going to happen, and I’m kind of waiting to see what kind of person I’ll become through all of this. It’s frightening, not knowing what’ll happen but that’s life. We just have to brace ourselves for the next storm to the best of our abilities...