limpylexi

[limpylexi]

THIS SHOW IS SO PURE!

It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).

[limpylexi]

Frankie Cosmos is my favorite new discovery. @frankiecosmos-blog

[limpylexi]

Prompt #2

What is my body asking for? What is my mind asking for?

Everyday is different with what my body is asking for. It truly depends on the day, but with this quarantine, it is rather consistent. Due to my disability, too much activity can leave me feeling very fatigued, while not doing enough can make me feel like I’m allowing my muscles to get weaker, something I won't gain back. This can be extremely draining on my mental health, especially with the isolation I’m forced to be in with our world’s state. I’m not able to hike, bike, run, or anything of that sort. I can't be on my own outside without feeling in immediate danger. I have the fear of falling and not being able to get back up on my own. My loved ones worry for my safety, so I'm confined in my room or going out with other people. My body really wants something that I won't really ever have, unfortunately. With that being said, the things my mind is asking for really varies. 

Some days I can be really positive, because what other option do I have? There is nothing in my control to fix the state my body is in. My muscles will get weaker to some extend regardless of what I do. Of course some days are bad, but this is when I get in my head and realize that I am not in control. I am a person that really loves spontaneity, but with my body it can be super hard to do that. When you have a disability, in my experience, you need to know plans at every angle to ensure that it is accessible for you. This can be a huge let down when all of your friends want to go somewhere, but not everything is accessible. Many people don't realize how many things people with disabilities have to think about depending on their disability. This can be things like, are there stairs, accessible bathrooms, is the car too high or low to get in and out of, will the wheelchair fit in the car, will the walking be too much, are the floors level, will there be flashing lights, will there be people to help me get up and down from my seat, and so many more. This can really put a damper on wanting to go out because sometimes it just feels like too much to consider all of those things. 

It also draining to find friends who really get it and don't make it feel like you are a burden or avoid bringing you because they recognize all of the things they will have to help you with. I am fortunate enough to have a good circle of friends that make me feel welcome, and I know they value me for what I am and genuinely don't see my disability. I do think every person in your life serves a purpose, but they aren't always pleasant experiences. I am going into my senior year of college, and it has took all years of grade school to find those people. High school I had time to figure out what type of friends I really wanted/needed in my life, and I’m really fortunate for that time and only hope to look back at that time with fondness. This gives me some resolution to my life and allows me to let go of the negative feelings. 

Although I am working on myself and the negative feeling I have for that time and the people I may hold some negative feelings towards, my mind tends to go back to the negativity and it can really struggle with that. I have avoided talking about the friends that were toxic for me at that time because I’m sure I wasn't perfect, so I recognize that people make mistakes and I know that what they did/said doesn't make them bad people. For quite a few years I really let that go, and recognized that they just weren't meant to be in my life. I really made quite a bit of progress, and truly allowed to let things go and discover myself. Over this past year, I heard that one of those people were expressing to others how terrible of a person I was. Initially, I felt quite a bit of anger and negative feelings toward them, but realized I was giving them the power to take back all the progress I have made over the years. I know they served a purpose in my life, and I only wish them the best and hope they find a way to let go of those negative feelings. Some people may believe I am a bad person, and that’s okay. There will always be those people, but the ones who are worth being in your life are the ones that will listen and get to know you as a person. 

Over time I have lost many people whether is was death or the choice of theirs, or mine, to leave. It is really hard to know that there are people out in the world that I put so much effort into, and so many things I revealed to them. I had a hard time realizing why my ex left, and questioned everything in the sun of what I possibly could have done, but there wasn't an answer. I questioned why someone who was so close to me dropped so quickly because of something so little. Did I do something wrong? Was there something physically wrong or not enough for me? I have taken the time to either fix the toxic traits I had, and recognizing the toxic traits they had, and the positives of not having them in my life anymore. This has allowed me to look back at those experiences with fondness, knowing they had a purpose in my development and theirs as well. I only hope that those people also take that strive to improve themselves and allow themselves to drop that weight off of their shoulders. Life is too short. 

My mind is asking for forgiveness of what I have done wrong, and to give myself the time to recognize and evaluate my choices and the people I surround myself with. Although this quarantine is giving me many hardships, it is allowing me the time for healing and forgiveness to myself and others. Allowing myself to change, and better myself. I have been trying to fill my time with productive thinking, and actions that will help better the world. It is truly helping my mental well being and for that I am very proud of myself! :)

Nobody will probably answer, but I’d love to hear what other people are proud of themselves for!

#quarantine #isolation #mental wellbeing #mental health #mental illness #thinking #journaling #coronavirus #purpose #feelings #disability #disabled life #muscular dystrophy #healing #self discovery #daily prompt #development

[limpylexi]

Prompt #1

What do I need right now?

You know I thought about this quite a bit, and I have conflicting feelings. This lockdown has really put a twist on what I am feeling. My “normal” day before the lockdown was going to classes everyday, independence to go around campus alone in my wheelchair, being around my best friend everyday, and seeing my other friends more often than I am now. 

All of this to online classes, living with my parents and brother, only seeing them and never leaving. No wheelchair to feel some sense of independence. I love my family, but I have no way of getting out. I’m high-risk, so just going to the store is something I can't do. That can be something that feels very isolating whether I am surrounded by people or not. 

Almost a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. This was expected, but nonetheless a hard pill to swallow (No pun intended lol). Anyway, I was put on two medications that have really managed my panic attacks and helped calm my nerves. Along with this, I was able to go to therapy at my university for FREE. This was extremely helpful, along with the medication. 

I was able to get many things off of my chest. After my last breakup, it really left me with feelings of insecurity and blame on myself. Won’t speak much on this, but it really took me for a whirl. Along with this and some of my past toxic friendships, It definitely added to my diagnosis. Therapy really helped me with that. Unfortunately, that was stripped along with everything else. I can't really afford online therapy under these circumstances, so that is adding to the many problems with the lockdown. 

I understand why we have to do this, and it’s frustrating to see people not complying. This doesn't make it any easier. It is even harder to see people refusing to stay inside, and say “Wellll, some people just have to die. That’s life. Those who are high-risk would be dead in the next 12 months anyway.” Yes, this is a real quote from one of my mom’s idiot facebook friends. It hurts to see that my life isn’t valued by so many people in our country. Along with our president, on so many other occasions. 

I am trying to allow myself to see the positives: Nature is clearing up, people are coming together, acts of kindness are filling my community, etc.

With all of this being said, I need a few things right now. As funny as it sounds, I need isolation. I need time to be alone, and truly be alone with out the stress of being around my family constantly. I need an area to let out my feelings (these prompts will certainly help). I need to recognize the things that are going on in the world, and stop taking it out on my boyfriend. And most of all, I need to give myself the space to feel my emotions without being so cynical of myself. I have been so hard on myself on how I have been feeling and invalidating it. Things in the world are shitty right now, and realistically I need to allow myself the time to grieve the independent life I had a month ago. 

If you're reading this, I appreciate you finishing it all. I don't expect anyone to see this, but it definitely gave me the space I needed. ‘Til the next prompt!

#quarantine #isolation #mental illness #depression #anxiety #wheelchair #journaling #daily prompt #self discovery #covid virus #therapy #support #muscular dystrophy #disabled life

[limpylexi]

Henry Hugh Armstead

[limpylexi]

P.S. I got this Idea from @thechartreusedragon They posted some prompts and I am going to challenge myself to answer them!

As I finish up the semester, with bittersweet feelings, I want to take a journey of self discovery. 

I am going to challenge myself to be more open about who I am and some of the things I struggle with as someone with a disability, and the things I struggle with regardless of my disability.

I am going to challenge myself to 23 days (possibly more) of self discovery. I am holding myself accountable through my Tumblr, and I’d love for whoever wants to listen to follow along! First day coming soon!

[limpylexi]

As I finish up the semester, with bittersweet feelings, I want to take a journey of self discovery. 

I am going to challenge myself to be more open about who I am and some of the things I struggle with as someone with a disability, and the things I struggle with regardless of my disability.

I am going to challenge myself to 23 days (possibly more) of self discovery. I am holding myself accountable through my Tumblr, and I’d love for whoever wants to listen to follow along! First day coming soon!

#self discovery #quarantine #covid19 #coronavirus #journaling #new blog #discovery #wheelchair #isolation #mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #tumbl #new

[limpylexi]

Twenty-three Journaling Prompts for Self Discovery

Recently been trying to be a bit more intentional whenever I do morning pages or journal. I love stream-of-consciousness writing, but sometimes I feel aimless going around and around with the same negative thought patterns.

What do I need right now?

What is my body asking for? What is my mind asking for?

What do I need to feel nurtured?

Am I engaging in any self-destructive patterns?

Write a letter to someone you miss.

Write a letter to someone you want to talk to (because of any reason — anger, hurt, love, want, jealousy … )

What is not serving you today?

What do you want to remember about today/yesterday/this week/this month, etc.?

What am I avoiding?

What did I learn today/yesterday…?

What are you looking forward to today?

Why am I feeling ___ right now?

What are my goals for today/this week/this month?

One thing I like about myself today.

How have I exercised compassion today?

Wins! (of the week, of the day, of the month, etc.) What went well today?

What do I want to change, and why? Is it worth the effort?

What am I afraid of?

How am I evaluating myself right now?

What kind of energy am I putting out into the world?

What is something I’ve been wanting to do, but have been putting off? Is it worth pursuing right now (is it a priority), or can it wait?

How can I be with myself right now, in this moment?

What can I do for my body, my mind, my space, and my work?

[limpylexi]

I’ve spent awhile trying to figure out if this is a painting or photograph. 🤯

River Water-crowfoot (Ranunculus fluitans) in River Vramsån Photo Patrik Olofsson

[limpylexi]

If you’re able, use this isolation as a time to embrace our nature! Take a walk and pick up some trash! :) make sure to keep a safe distance from others tho

#isolation #nature #global warming #trash #coronavirus #covid virus #environment #earth #love our world #6 feet away

[limpylexi]

[limpylexi]

[A white fortune cookie paper with black text on the front and an icon of a bee. It reads: You will soon gain something you have always desired.]

[limpylexi]

stay home. stay safe.

[limpylexi]

Avocado Salsa - recipe 

[limpylexi]

American education

[limpylexi]

Still Reblogging after 4 years

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.

[limpylexi]

These times during quarantine can be tough!

It can be especially tough on those with disabilities, so let’s talk about it!

Having a disability comes with many things, and sometimes those things mean dependence on others. Being stuck in the house can be isolating, especially for those with care workers. With this quarantine, many people are losing their PCA’s. This means they become more dependent on their family and friends. This can be challenging for a family that gets along, but can be even worse for those who don’t have supportive family members.

PLEASE reach out to those with disabilities and check in, it means the world. Outside interaction is what is keeping us going right now!

(Just check on anyone who you know and care about, it’s important! You may save someone’s life)

For those with disabilities, such as myself, please reach out! I’d love to hear all about you and become friends! :) I’d love for to add to what your own experiences have been as well!

#quarantine #disability #body dismorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #muscular dystrophy #disabilities #wheelchair #accessibility #support #advocacy #covid virus #isolation #mental health #isolated #depression #anxiety #ableism #positive #acceptance #disabled life #nuerodivergent #autism acceptance