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literaxies · 3 years

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Closing the Distance | Lee Juyeon

“If only time would move quicker...”

Category: A short drabble, something a little typical. Idol!Juyeon.

Genre: angst, fluff.

Warning: None

Word count: 1,269

You knew it was going to be difficult. He was an idol and you've known from the second you fell for him that none of this was going to be easy. But Juyeon had always given you more than what you expected him to. When they say it's risky to go out in public, he'd still bring you out to Han River and lay out the checkered carpet. He'd still put his arm on you while the both of you stare at how beautiful the stars were and how they decorated the pitch black sky so wonderfully. When they said not to bring you over to practice during daytime, he'd still snuck you in through the backdoor to grant you the chance to watch them.

He didn't want you to feel any different and he succeeded. Though there's still a couple of sneaking around, it didn't feel like you were dating an idol. And he had always made it a point that your safety is number one, asking you whether or not there was anything bothering you once every month and reminding you to be honest if you feel unsafe. But there was nothing, a year into your relationship and you never once felt like you had to seek for safety. Until he had to go on his tour.

You knew this was bound to happen one day. You were happy for him. You were genuinely delighted to know that the whole world was going to see how talented he is and how capable he is. And he was living his dreams as well. But on the other side, you were a little bumped down by the fact that he would be gone for 8 months. "It's alright," you told yourself at first, "some couples out there had to go through years without each other. It's only 8 months, come on." But after mentally repeating that in your mind, you still found yourself sobbing inside the toilet.

Juyeon had his arms wrapped around you tight inside the bedroom of your apartment that morning before he had to leave. You had your face buried in his sweater, trying to memorize his scent for 8 months worth of time. His large hand was slowly caressing your hair, once in a while he'd kiss the top of your head and say, "we'll be okay," and you could only nod. Because as much as you tried to not be sad for this temporary long distance, you knew you were going to break down once you speak. Scratch that, it didn't take talking for you to start crying and Juyeon could feel his heart squeezing when you started slightly shaking.

You could feel his arms tightening around you but it was only a couple of seconds later when his phone rang, signalling how his ride was down at the lobby. Your tears were becoming uncontrollable and you were starting to think how you were overreacting. But it was then when you knew how much you loved him and how much he had given you the past year. He loosen his arms and made the two of you lock eyes. A small painful smile was painted on his face as he saw your tear-filled face. He gently wiped the stray tears away from your eyes and tuck your hair behind your ears. "I'll be home soon, alright?" to which you nodded before he continued, "I love you, so much."

And with that he left you inside the room with a piece of his sweater placed neatly at the foot of your bed.

8 months felt like years at first. You didn't think it would feel that long but it did. Though he would always call you before bed and on days when he had the time, he'd call you during the day too, you still physically longed for him. He'd send you videos and pictures and made you feel like you were there with him all that while.

It was hard all throughout but there were a couple instances when you feel like it's a lot harder. On your bad days, you'd hope for a miracle to happen. That he'll come punching in the passcode to your door and dash in to wrap his arms around you. You'd wish for it to happen like how it does in some of the movies you watched or the books you read. But nothing like that would happen in real life and you realized that when you choked back your sobs during your calls. Juyeon knew something was wrong but he knew you were holding back for the two of you. That if you spill everything that was on your mind, that would've cost you his guilt and there were chances that it would lead to something else.

"I'll be home soon, yeah?" he always repeated the same exact words, "I love you. I love you more than I do anyone else."

On the night when he was supposed to come back, you didn't think you'd have a terrible 12 hours prior. You tripped on your way up the stairs of your campus and hurt your hip. They had put a little too much sugar on your coffee and you ran late to your part time job, earning yourself a couple of harsh words thrown upon you by your manager.

But when the clock hit 2 AM and you were once again sobbing in the corner of your room, you heard the sound of your passcode ringing. In less than a second, you dashed out and there he was, exhaustion so evident in his eyes yet it still sparkled upon the sight of you. Your chin trembled once you saw him, lips shaking and your emotions were all over the place. Without a delay, you jumped into his arms and you could feel him dropping his bag.

"I missed you," he whispered against your hair, "I missed you so much, baby." You could only dangle yourself on him, not knowing what else to do. And he was the one who loosen his arms to look at your face. His hand was gently placed against your cheeks, eyes absorbing your features before leaning down to place a kiss on your lips.

Juyeon didn't realize how much he missed having you in his arms and how much he missed having your lips on his until he had it all back. He was savouring his time, his lips moving against yours and your hand circling on his neck. You felt a void when he pulled away but he looked straight into your brown orbs and could only say, "wow..."

"What...?" You asked, The delayed gratification was driving something inside of you insane though it had only been a couple of seconds of him staring down at you. He only leaned in again to place a kiss on the side of your lips before leaving trails of it up to your cheeks and then down your jawline. You could feel his teeth nibbling on your skin and the slight act of tease made the butterflies go crazy in your stomach. Juyeon didn't stop there and went ahead to pepper more down your neck while his hand was one on your hip and the other still placed on your cheeks.

He was kissing you up to your ears before he said, "I missed how beautiful you look."

"Well, now you're going to see it again every single day."

"I love you so much, princess," he said, voice low and your could feel his breath on your skin.

"I love you too."

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literaxies · 6 years

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Ain’t Daisy | Hwang Hyunjin

“Why would I look for a daisy when I go to a field of roses?”

Category : Highschool!au

Genre : Fluff, slight angst.

Warning : Maybe cursing

Word count : 2,341

Life has always been treating you fair. You’d had your ups and downs but they’ll be of the perfect balance, but then day Hwang Hyunjin stepped into your life, your ups overweighed the downs.

It was through sheer force that you were drawned to him, as well as him to you. Any girls would kill to be in your position and soon it became something you were internally proud about. Because not only was he insanely gorgeous, Hwang Hyunjin was beautiful inside as well. Humorous, kind, all the good personality— name it. He would always manage to make you feel the same about yourself as well. What more could there be?

But again, life had always been fair. The ups can never be above the downs for too long. It was when you felt the distance grow, that you knew it would all came to an end. As much as you didn’t want to admit, highschool was going to be over soon and both of you had different paths to go and his, would be miles away. It was sooner or later.

You remember the tears that flowed out of his perfectly shaped eyes that day at the park. The eyes that always curved down to form an inverted smile, now filled wih nothing but sorrow. It tore you apart to see him in that state but you knew it was for the best, or at least you thought it is. You were starting to become a distraction for him and his entrance exam, and he was starting to feel your clingy and neediness, only to snap every once in a while.

“I swear, even though I called you annoying, I still love you as much, so please.” He pleaded, he looked like he was seconds away from going down on his knees. That was how much he loved you.

“I love you too, Hyunjin. I swear. But if it keeps going on like this, what good would it make?” You held out your hands to wipe away his tears as he looked down.

“Hey,” he looked into your eyes, the salty water threatening to fall from it. You smiled and said, “we may be seperated now and it’s all on me. But one day, if we’re meant to be, we’d be together again.” He held onto your hand which was placed on his dampened cheek and brought it closer to his lips, kissing it gently.

“I’d hold onto that,” he smiled, and you felt yourself falling for him all over again. But, it’s over, “I can’t believe I cry as if you’re dead.”

“Well, better make sure you cry harder in about 60 years,” you joked, making him chuckle.

It all came crashing down on you the day after when you found him walking along the hallways with the grade’s highest-ranked beauty. Park Gowon. It has only been a day, you thought. Gowon had always aimed for Hyunjin. Getting close to him at any chances to ever exist. But you just found it unbelievable how he could smile and laugh along with her throughout their journey down the hall.

“Haha ‘i love you so much’ my ass,” you muttered under your breath.

He gave you a smile each time both of you came across each other. You would give it back but anyone could see the insincerity.

Rumor circled around the school ground soon after. How you were abandoned by the prince and how you were replaced at last. Its like all of them expected this to happen. But then, at the end, it went back to the fact that the only one who knew of the dismatch were you, him as well as your best friend, Han Jisung.

“Say you’re dating me now, then.” Jisung surprised you with his sudden remark, making you drop your lunch back onto its plate.

“They’re going to think I’m a bitch, no.” You retorted, making him laugh.

“They think you were merely a toy to Hyunjin.”

“But still, I can’t make it seem like I just jump from one good-looking dude to another good-looking... sort.. of.. dude..,” you hesitated the last few words. Jisung’s face was written with offended and you simply gave him a smile and went back to eating your lunch.

The rest of the school year was a whole drag. You had to keep yourself busy, finding references for the next step, and all that it required to be in a university, you were trying your best to have a perfect record. All these, without Hyunjin; your greatest motivation at all times. You had to admit, you would’ve done better if he was there but this just prove that you were fine even without him. Because not long after was when you heard, he had made Gowon his girlfriend. Everything seemed like nothing but bullshit to you at that point. Maybe, both of you really weren’t meant to be.

By the day of graduation, you were super proud of yourself for the feelings you’ve erased. It was hard to believe he would do such a thing but at the end, you were the one ending it all, you didn’t want to be a crazy bitch.

With the cap placed perfectly on your head and cape draped over your shoulder, you stood up high when the teacher called for you. Along with the certificate, your suffering ended there. Everyone looked happy, you could only assume all the students achieved their target like you. You didn’t look for Hyunjin amidst the sea of heads but little did you know, he was watching you with nothing but satisfaction in his eyes. You got what you wanted, you were accepted with a scholarship, and he couldn’t be more proud.

When the end of the ceremony approached, everyone was busy taking pictures and collecting gifts, including you. Jisung had roamed around the hall to take at least one selca with everyone. You weren’t that crazy about taking pictures but you did take a last look on all the classes and backyards. Absorbing everything into your memories before you had to say goodbye for good. You walk through the long hallway of the sixth story and peeked through each class. It was then when you felt someone tap your shoulder.

Hyunjin.

You looked to your right, to the sight of him walking alongside you. You didn’t feel your heart race like before and you could only be grateful. It was a total opposite for him though. It took him so much to place a gentle tap on your small figure walking.

“Congratulations to us,” he said and you smiled at him.

“Yeah, and congratulations to you and Gowon,” you didn’t want to sound bitter. But it was slightly there. You couldn’t deny the fact that the topic still brought some kind of effect on you but maturity had become your priority.

You felt him stop on his track as you were continuing your walk. You looked back to see him gazing at you. His eyes met yours with sadness evident.

“What’s wrong?” You asked innocently, not wanting to assume anything bad.

“You moved on, didn’t you?” His tone was down. It was barely audible. But you caught onto the first few words before his dynamic fall.

“Hyunjin... I-,” you turned your body completely to face him, even though the distance still seem to exist, “I couldn’t help it, you got together with her.”

“Doesn’t mean I love her,” you were taken aback by his words.

“What?”

“I couldn’t help it too, y/n. You looked like you were fine, I wanted to be too,” his face expression dropped down the cliff, your heart together with it.

“I was no where near fine, but I was the one who let you go,” he couldn’t reply to you, all he did was run his fingers through his strands of hair and held onto it at one point.

You heard someone calling out to him from behind, saving both of you from the moment. Seungmin ran towards Hyunjin, who was trying his best to look fine. When Hyunjin looked towards his friend at the back, you turned around as well. Not wanting to make anything look suspicious, you continued to walk. But before he followed his friend, you heard him shout. To you. In the saddest tone you’ve ever heard from him.

“IF YOU STILL LOVE ME, MEET ME BY THE PARK WHERE WE BROKE UP AT 9 PM,” the confusion got the best of you the moment he walked away and ceased from your vision. You had just convinced yourself that your feelings were no longer there, were you going to take the risk.

You got home exhausted. Your feet aching from the long strolls and ceremony earlier. It was 6, the long needle pointing at 9. The ticking of the clock got you a lot more frustrated.

6:55

7:30

7:50

8:15

8:45

You aggressively pulled out a grey sweater and placed it over your head before opening your bedroom door and slamming it back close. You groaned at your own decision but your feet wouldn’t stop moving.

The park was 5 minutes away from your house, but why did you run and were in fear of being late? You pulled out your phone once you got towards the bench and saw it was only 8:50.

“You came,” you looked towards the voice direction and saw him standing there. With the same grey sweater that you’re wearing. You totally forgot that it was a piece that both of you got together at the local boutique. The street light illuminate the ground and his face. You could make out the tint of red on his cheeks when he realized what you wore.

“I did. I don’t know why either.” You said, standing up.

“I’d like to believe you still love me,” he couldn’t look at you. Afraid of what your face expression would be.

“I don’t know,” his head snapped towards you, “I... I let go of us. The idea of us, the idea of ever being with you again, I moved on from that.”

“What about me? Did you let go off your feelings for me as well?”

“Perhaps I did,” that was all it took for his whole heart to shatter. “But, you still have an effect on me somehow.”

“How’s that?” His voice cracked, together with his heart. Hyunjin never felt this much pain in his life before.

“You.. make me do things,” you began, “for instance, you make me ran all the way from my house, in fear of being late and making you wait, when I have 15 minutes to spare.”

“What else did I make you do?”

“Well um...,” you fiddled with your sleeves, debating whether or not you should expose yourself to transparency, “you make me turn myself into this hardworking, studious student just so I can distract myself from the fact that you’re with her.”

If a broken piece of glass could be mold back together, Hyunjin could feel his heart slowly mending its pieces back together.

“You make me think about all the things I’ve done wrong, all the things I regret doing, one of them being, breaking up with you,” you looked down, “but then I can’t do anything. We were getting more and more toxic for each other and I didn’t want it to reach the point where it’s irreversible.”

“And you, you look great beside her. Both of you were called the power couple and I thought this was what’s right for you,” Hyunjin stood there silently, watching you fidget your fingers and nervously express your thoughts.

“I’m not special in anyway. In a field of roses, I’m just like any other. But her.. she was like a daisy, she stood out, beautifully.” You scratched your head slightly, you couldn’t believe what you just said.

“Hyunjin, I love you. I know I do, I love you now and I’ll love you for a long time, but can we even work out-,” Hyunjin didn’t let you finish your query. He walked closer to you in a hurried manner and placed his hands on your cheeks before crashing his lips onto yours.

The sudden action made you freeze on your tract, but when he didn’t let go, you started to give in. Your feelings that you tried to move on from— more like the ones that you try to bury deep down, was starting to resurface. In fact, it had always been there.

His kiss lasted for what felt like forever. When he finally pulled away, your cheeks couldn’t stop itself from turning a tint of red.

“That’s all I need, y/n. We’ll work this out together as long as you love me and I love you.” You met his eyes, and once again, that’s all you need to fall hard for him all over. “I broke up with Gowon, because I didn’t go to a field of roses to find a daisy. I was looking for a rose to pick, the prettiest one.”

You brought your hand up to your face, covering the red on your cheek. He chuckled at your action, finding it adorable.

“So.. what do you say?” The lack of clearance had you putting down your hand. “Will you be my girlfriend again?”

You looked down and slightly nodded. Hyunjin could feel his insides cheering for him. But all he could do was embrace you into a tight hug. He kissed your hair a few times as you wrapped your hands around his waist.

“I can’t believe you had to broke my heart first,” he said in a sulky tone, “but I love you so much, y/n.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you this much, I honestly don’t deserve you,” he broke the hug and was finally able to see the eyes he love so much, filled with the love you had for him, “but I love you, so much more than that.”

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