littlebron

[littlebron]

[littlebron]

Just a little reminder of what’s to come this year. ;D

Happy New Year!

[littlebron]

[littlebron]

Insurance

So I found out my insurance will cover 80% of my PHP after I pay my $750 deductible. I'm really hoping the program will work with me on a payment plan. It would cost $500 a day without insurance. Eeeeek! I'm hoping for a direct withdrawal of $100 from my bank account monthly for the plan. Ugh, money really stresses me. I need to go to bed.

#partial hospitalization #stress #in patient #treatment

[littlebron]

a self care project to keep yourself busy - make a care box

I’ve heard many names for these, but the one in going with is “care box”. Basically, it’s box full of things that make you feel comfortable, warm, happy, and calm. The idea is to fill this box/basket/crate/whatever when you’re up, so that when you’re down again, all you have to do is reach for it.

Some things you can add (feel free to add to or alter this list as you see fit):

• a fuzzy blanket • some notes from yourself telling you some good things about yourself • a bag of your favorite tea/coffee/beverage • a CD/cassette/record that makes you smile • art supplies • a book that reminds you of your childhood in the best way, or just one that makes you happy • some calming incense or scented candles - some good scents for mood are lavender, bergamot, orange, clary sage, and geranium • an essential oil or bath bomb to take a relaxing bath • a bottle of water - yes, it really does help • an extra supply of any medication you take

This list will be different for each individual. The important part is adding things that make you feel comforted.

[littlebron]

Dissociation

Dissociating is not just being “zoned out.” Dissociating is reading texts you don’t even remember sending. Dissociating is not knowing the different between 5 minutes and 5 hours because it all feels the same. Dissociating is driving 105mph just to see if you can feel anything at all. Dissociating is not being able to feel anything at all. Dissociating is feeling everything at once. Dissociating is hell.

[littlebron]

Went to my intake interview today and got all signed in. The woman I spoke with is calling my insurance to set that up and I will most likely start on friday. It runs from 9am to 3pm sometimes 3:30 depending the day. I'm really hoping I can keep up my hours at work and still be able to make it to the program 3-4 times a week. I'm going to talk to my boss about it tomorrow and see what he says about scheduling. I'm feeling pretty lonely tonight, I was hoping someone would come over and keep me company but I don't have many friends. That will change, hopefully soon.

[littlebron]

I got a call about the partial program today. I'm going into intake tomorrow so we can talk and figure out what I need. I'm excited but really nervous. I hope it helps. I'm keeping this short and sweet because I'm exhausted. Night all.

[littlebron]

Had a great day with Jason. Went to see some friends and brought them flowers for Valentine's day, then came home to cuddle and watch a movie. He bought me a dwarf hamster last night which I named Morty. Also chocolate covered strawberries. He's amazing.

[littlebron]

Step one of the day was apologizing to those I have hurt. So I did, not expecting friendship in the end. I just wanted to get it off my chest. I feel better, I’m just kind of hoping for a response from some of them. Step two is connecting with old friends or family members, I asked a few to go out for coffee with me so I’m hoping one will respond or we can at least make plans for another day. Step three for the day is to be active, clean my apartment, maybe craft a bit. But we will see how I feel after another round of medication.

[littlebron]

If I change, it's for myself.

[littlebron]

Partial Hospitalization Program

Have any of you guys been in a PHP? If you have, can you please explain to me how it works? I’m scared shitless for next week and I haven’t slept and my anxiety is making me crazy! Please help!

[littlebron]

I start partial tomorrow. Which means I have to wake up at 7am everyday, And since I rarely fall asleep anytime before 4am, I might as well kiss sleep goodbye.

Oh well, at least It gets me out of the house, even if it means spending all day at the hospital.. Since I’m lacking in the friends department I guess this is as good as it gets. Isn’t life grand?

[littlebron]

I'm going in.

I start tomorrow at 8:45am.  I have no idea if this is the right thing to do, and I’m not thrilled at all about having to start right away, but I really, really need to change something so starting now it is.

Keep reading

[littlebron]

My appointment went well today. My therapist always acts so nonchalant and it bothers me. I swear you have to have no soul to do that job... She recommended partial hospitalization, three days a week for about half a day. It will help me to learn ways to cope and give me the intense therapy I need. I will get my acceptance phone call soon and start as soon as possible. I will have to talk to my boss and have him work around that schedule for me. I may be able to work 4pm-12am if he will let me. I feel really achey and sick today, I slept a lot as well. I fell asleep sitting up at my mom's business and passed out as soon as I got home. Now I'm thinking of going back to bed, depression really fucks with you physically. I'll post later, I'm gonna lay down and read scary stories on reddit like I used to do. That always helped relax me.

[littlebron]

[littlebron]