littlemisspascal

[littlemisspascal]

the Chinese gp is on fire (literally)

#f1 #chinese gp 2024 #oh good lord

[littlemisspascal]

...

#nothing like being screamed at by your father for something beyond your control #then having an anxiety breakdown at your aunt's house and she tells you be nice to him cuz he's not here forever #like...thanks #i'm done with today

[littlemisspascal]

APRIL FIC RECS

Hello! Below is a list of the fics I have read so far this month! Will do a part 2 for what I read after today. (Can someone tell me, if I update this post will it re-notify everyone tagged? I don't want to bother y'all) But you're all amazing and your fics truly make my days. If anyway is tagged and doesn't want to be / wants me to take your fics off this list, please let me know.

THIS BLOG AND THESE FICS ARE 18+, MINORS DNI. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS BEFORE READING.

Pero Tovar

A Baker’s Dozen** by @avastrasposts - Pero Tovar x reader

Tim Rockford

steep is the mountain by @sin-djarin - Tim Rockford x f!reader  

Dave York

no one has to know what we do by @janaispunk - Dave York x f!reader

Stranger: Climax (part 4 of Strangers) by @wildemaven - Dave York x f!reader

Marcus Pike

The Secret Lake by @sirowsky - Marcus Pike x female reader 

Hummingbird Has Landed (Ch 9) by @wardenparker co written with @absurdthirst - Marcus Pike x female reader

Juicy Hot Dogs by @frenchiereading - Marcus Pike x f!reader

Frankie Morales

Adrift With You (ch 12) (ch 13) (ch 14) by @morallyinept - Frankie Morales x OFC Jude

Worth It For Once by @burntheedges - Frankie Morales x f!reader

Date Night by @artsy-girl-76 - Frankie Morales x f!reader

New Beginnings (Ch 1) by @endlessthxxghts - teacher!reader x student's dad!Frankie Morales

Lemon Twist (ch 2 of do me yourself) by @undercoverpena - Frankie Morales x f!reader

the devil’s backbone [alpha!frankie] masterlist by @ezrasbirdie - frankie morales x cataline benoit [ofc]

Javier Peña

Learning to Live (Part 31) by @wheresarizona - Javier Peña x f!reader

A stranger in need, a helping hand by @lovesbiggerthanpride - Javier Peña x f!reader

Should we make it official by @wardenparker co-written with @absurdthirst - Javier Peña x f!reader

closer to light  by @sp00kymulderr - Javier Peña x f!reader

Joel Miller

egg hunt by @covetyou Joel Miller x f!reader

Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts - Jackson!Joel x afab!reader 

Passing Notes: NSFW by @burntheedges  - Joel Miller x f!reader

make a move on me by @freelancearsonist - preoutbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Din Djarin

Of Constellations & Creeds (masterlist) by @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa - Din Djarin x F!reader

Quarry Masterilist (Ch 1) (ch 2) (ch 3) (ch 4) (Ch 5) by @ak-vintage - Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x f!reader

Jack Daniels / Agent Whiskey

Cherry Wine | DDDNE by @julesonrecord - Jack “Whiskey” Daniels / wife!reader

Braces by @joels-darlin - Jack Daniels x f!reader

Dieter Bravo

fade into you by @chronically-ghosted - Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Benny Miller

Filled by @dameronscopilot - Benny Miller x f!reader

Duke Leto

duke leto - breeding by @hoedamn-eron - Leto x F!reader

Crossovers

SoCal to NorCal (masterlist) by @lotusbxtch - husband!Joel Miller x afab!Reader x boyfriend!Frankie Morales

Bloody Kisses (Part 1) by @perotovar - Shane Morrissey/Tim Rockford

Unrequited (Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3) by @pimosworld - Santiago Garcia x f!reader x Francisco Morales

Give You What You Want by @lavendertales - Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carillo

Playdate (ch 7) (ch 8) (ch 9) by @daddy-dins-girl - Marcus Pike x f!Reader x Dave York

#fic rec

[littlemisspascal]

I got a prompt for some no smut Joel fluff and I have the cutest idea.

#no smut = *grabby hands* #gimme it all

[littlemisspascal]

@djarinmuse awww 💗 I can't believe it's been 2 years omggg! Always happy to offer support wherever I can!

I mean this in the nicest most non-confrontational way possible but what is the point of compiling the pedro library on links alone if so many writers have changed url/deleted/moved works? wouldn’t it have made more sense to compile/preserve the fics rather than signpost them?

Hi Anon 👋 You're right links can and do change often. I've lost count of how many times I've gone through and cleaned up the Library of deactivated writers or those who've changed usernames and thus I also had to delete or edit their fic links. And I miss a lot too cuz I'm just one person doing this.

By preserving the fics I assume you mean downloading them or copying and pasting so that even if fic is deleted then it remains able to be read? And I don't feel comfortable doing that. If a writer chooses to delete everything, that's their choice. A link gives me the same access as everyone else, just a little door that the author can keep open as long as they want.

The Library from the get-go was just meant to spread awareness of fic writers. It is impossible to suit the needs and wants of every reader. That's why I'm grateful for @pedrostories and @pascalsanctuary existing cuz they organize things differently but promote the same goal of celebrating writers ❤️

#all the love

[littlemisspascal]

@wildemaven + @frenchiereading thank you sooooo much for y'alls kindness 💗💗 Always beyond super appreciated!!

I mean this in the nicest most non-confrontational way possible but what is the point of compiling the pedro library on links alone if so many writers have changed url/deleted/moved works? wouldn’t it have made more sense to compile/preserve the fics rather than signpost them?

Hi Anon 👋 You're right links can and do change often. I've lost count of how many times I've gone through and cleaned up the Library of deactivated writers or those who've changed usernames and thus I also had to delete or edit their fic links. And I miss a lot too cuz I'm just one person doing this.

By preserving the fics I assume you mean downloading them or copying and pasting so that even if fic is deleted then it remains able to be read? And I don't feel comfortable doing that. If a writer chooses to delete everything, that's their choice. A link gives me the same access as everyone else, just a little door that the author can keep open as long as they want.

The Library from the get-go was just meant to spread awareness of fic writers. It is impossible to suit the needs and wants of every reader. That's why I'm grateful for @pedrostories and @pascalsanctuary existing cuz they organize things differently but promote the same goal of celebrating writers ❤️

#i'm not crying shut up it's just raining indoors

[littlemisspascal]

991 i hav emerjenci

Wow, what an absolute dumpster fire, right? *gestures broadly* ↓Below the cut↓ are some specific things as a reader/mutual/friend/etc you can do that will make things a little better.

You come across someone posting/using someone else's work without express permission to do so:

INFORM THE ORIGINAL CREATOR/POSTER (OP) DIRECTLY ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ Let OP know BEFORE you attempt to engage with the person on their behalf. ✧ OP will probably want to lay eyes on the situation, and, if the person stealing their work is tipped off, they might proactively block OP and/or remove posts before they can be verified as stolen. ✧ Do not harass the person who stole the work. It might be coming from a place of wanting to stick up for OP, but it ultimately doesn't help the situation.

OP is experiencing a hate brigade, nasty anons, or trolling over their fic:

PRIORITIZE ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS THAT KEEP THE FOCUS ON SUPPORT FOR OP ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ Reblog the fic in question with a glowing recommendation or just leave a comment under it expressing your appreciation for it. Both actions will boost the work in question as well as show direct support for OP. ✧ Reach out privately through DMs if you have that sort of relationship, or send a supportive message through asks. Keep it simple and short as they are probably overwhelmed with the shitstorm at certain points. ✧ Speaking up with a supportive comment or post for OP isn't necessarily a bad thing, but arguing back and forth with the trolls/hate brigade/etc. - even if you are doing it with intention to support OP - only fuels the fire, and some of them are doing it for the attention anyway.

OP seems down / isn't motivated to write / is expressing considerations of leaving fic writing altogether because of the current climate on this hellsite:

GIVE THEM THE SPACE OR TIME THEY NEED, BUT ALSO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE VALUED ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ For the love of god please don't bombard them with asks about when xyz is going to be posted. This is a hobby for them, and they have jobs, families, and other life responsibilities that come first. Many would love nothing more than to sit and write all day, but that just isn't the reality for 99% of fic writers. ✧ Show their older works love, too. Many fic writers take the time to curate an organized masterlist of their works, and many have been writing for a while. There is a trove of wonderful content that can be read or re-read while you patiently wait for your fave to update. ✧ If you're waiting for an update on a specific fic, go back through the older chapters/updates and leave a comment saying you love it so much that you're coming back to visit older chapters while you wait to see what happens next in the story. I guarantee it will give them a boost of motivation for that story in particular. ✧ REBLOG AND COMMENT. Yes, do both of those things. I want you open up a fic you love and scroll down to the bottom where you can see likes, comments, and reblogs. I want you to look at the disparity between likes and comments/reblogs. Clicking a heart button is pretty much zero effort, and it comes across as such to many writers. It's not how Tumblr operates. This is a REBLOG site. That is how things make their way around. That is how posts get engagement. That is how other people can discover the fic writers you enjoy. Look, I even made a meme to show you what it feels like when after hours and hours of writing and editing you finally post a fic and then somebody only hearts it:

Even a simple "I loved this so much and can't wait to read more!" does wonders. A quick reblog that mentions your favorite part in the story is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow for writers.

You come across people trashing a writer you like:

CONSIDER IF IT'S HELPFUL OR NOT TO ADDRESS IT ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ People are allowed to have negative/differing opinions about things. If they are expressing their dislike, even in a nasty way, they are allowed to do so. ✧ If it is a genuinely harmful/disparaging conversation, look to see what sort of traction the conversation has. Sometimes it's better to just let something die down before it can even take off. Examples of genuinely harmful/disparaging conversation include but aren't limited to: accusing OP of something egregious without any evidence to support it, framing rumors/gossip they've seen about OP as factual, deeming them criminally or morally corrupt based off a personal opinion they have of OP/their works. ✧ Remember that while serious concerns (like the above point) might be good to share with OP, not every instance of negativity or hate needs to be brought to their attention. If it's just some random jerk on a different platform talking about how much OP's writing is amateur hour, you should probably just leave it be. OP is a person at the end of the day, and sometimes things can be more hurtful than helpful for them to see.

OP isn't acting / responding in a way that you like:

REMIND YOURSELF THAT THEY ARE JUST ANOTHER PERSON IN THE FANDOM AND ARE NOT AN INFLUENCER ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ OP isn't in this fandom to be put on a pedestal (of course there are always exceptions, but I'm not talking about those people) and treated like an influencer. ✧ OP creates works in the fandom because that is how they choose to engage with the fandom. It is one of many ways that people can come together in a community and celebrate an actor/movie/series/etc. ✧ OP is not a content farm. They are writing and sharing because they genuinely enjoy it. They are not being compensated. They are not being endorsed by anybody or any company. They are a normal person trying to take part in a fandom they enjoy. ✧ OP is not obligated to address or comment on a situation, an interaction, discourse, etc. They are not an influencer and aren't equivalent to the parasocial relationships that influencers (aka people who make a living off the internet) have with their followers. OP is not required to "use their platform" for something. It's not a platform. It is OP's personal account where they engage and post in fandom. That is why it exists. OP is not some mega entity that has to speak on something because you demand or expect it.

OP blocked me:

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE ════════════════════════════════════════ ✧ Listen, I know it can be hurtful/confusing if you are blocked, especially if it is a writer you really like. I guarantee you that it was not done out of spite and for no reason. ✧ Take a look at the circles you run in, the posts you like, the sort of comments you leave, etc. Many writers are quick to block these days because the climate of this hellsite is very charged and exhausting. If OP sees your username cropping up again and again in fandom drama or you liked a discourse post with a shitty take or your chummy mutual is going off the rails with some bullshit, you might just get caught up in the Block Party. ✧ Don't go through another channel/account to ask why you've been blocked. No, you aren't entitled to a reason. OP is allowed to protect their mental health and peace, and they don't owe anyone an explanation of why and how they choose to curate their experience on this hellsite. ✧ If you believe you were blocked by mistake (which, again, is very unlikely), just take the L, homie. I know that's not what you want to hear, but that's just how it is.

If you took the time to read this, share it, or just in general intend to apply it to your interactions, ✨thank you✨!

Here is a Pedro gif tax for your time and attention. 💜

#amen to all of this

[littlemisspascal]

Lenovo gives the laurel wreath tradition a twist with technology

Dreamed up by Lenovo and fashioned by iconic design firm Pininfarina, the trophy’s design was inspired by the laurel wreath and features a proximity sensor that activates the trophy’s light pattern called “Chase a Loop” that symbolizes the speed at which F1 cars race around the track. The sensor can be activated when the winning driver lifts the trophy overhead or when placed around the driver’s neck.

The sleek, circular shape represents the Chinese people’s pursuit of perfection and happiness, much like a driver’s relentless pursuit of perfection on the racetrack. And this year is also the year of the Dragon, so the trophy features a twist in the circle that’s inspired by the movement of a dragon. This trophy will debut at the FORMULA 1 LENOVO CHINESE GRAND PRIX 2024 in Shanghai, China on April 21st.

#f1 #chinese gp 2024

[littlemisspascal]

I mean this in the nicest most non-confrontational way possible but what is the point of compiling the pedro library on links alone if so many writers have changed url/deleted/moved works? wouldn’t it have made more sense to compile/preserve the fics rather than signpost them?

Hi Anon 👋 You're right links can and do change often. I've lost count of how many times I've gone through and cleaned up the Library of deactivated writers or those who've changed usernames and thus I also had to delete or edit their fic links. And I miss a lot too cuz I'm just one person doing this.

By preserving the fics I assume you mean downloading them or copying and pasting so that even if fic is deleted then it remains able to be read? And I don't feel comfortable doing that. If a writer chooses to delete everything, that's their choice. A link gives me the same access as everyone else, just a little door that the author can keep open as long as they want.

The Library from the get-go was just meant to spread awareness of fic writers. It is impossible to suit the needs and wants of every reader. That's why I'm grateful for @pedrostories and @pascalsanctuary existing cuz they organize things differently but promote the same goal of celebrating writers ❤️

#i love getting messages #my library

[littlemisspascal]

David Nakayama’s Hellfire Gala (2022) Magazine Variant Covers

(open images for higher quality)

#marvel comics #hellfire gala

[littlemisspascal]

#never ever until f1 took over my world #now i've been collecting and hoarding mclaren hoodies like they're gold

[littlemisspascal]

Comparing yourself to other writers is the killer of every new story you’d like to write

#big struggle of mine #one day i'll get this tattooed on my brain to make it stick

[littlemisspascal]

There's no quota for you to fulfill on here

No set amount of fics/artworks you have to post per week, no set number of words you need to write per fic, no specific number of interactions you should reach per post. This is a hobby, not a job

#need to remember this more

[littlemisspascal]

#no but very close

[littlemisspascal]

#oh hey it's me

[littlemisspascal]

New Writers added to The Pedro Library 🐼

@hotgirlbedtimescenarios @schnarfer

New Works Added ✨

Many fics aren’t appearing in the tags when searching. If I miss yours, please let me know 💗 Or add me to your taglist cuz I love being tagged 😊

As always, if you would like me to remove your work from the rec list, please let know and I’ll remove them asap 😊

@frenchiereading Dieter Branching Out

@oogaboogasphincter Dieter Stress Relief

@morallyinept Javi G Homage / Dieter I Carry Your Heart With Me

@wardenparker @absurdthirst Javier “Should we make it official?”

@absurdthirst @storiesofthefandomlovers Javier Rewarded & Rescued / Frankie One Night in St. John’s

@janaispunk Javier Glitch

@milla-frenchy Javier Neat / Joel Owned

@burntheedges Frankie Flat / Marcus P Ask / Joel NSFW + Dance + Glow + Tease + Cake/ Din Vent + Rope/ Whiskey Leap / Dieter Park / Javier New / Dave Too Late

@penvisions Frankie Once More With Feeling / Javi G From Grief to Grace

@flightlessangelwings Veracruz Jealousy Makes You Taste Good

@beskarandblasters Joel Say You Can’t Sleep, Baby, I Know + Dancin’ With The Devil / Din Stonecatcher

@ozarkthedog Joel A Glimpse of Heaven / Javier Within You/Without You

@psychedelic-ink Joel July

@meshlasolus Joel Too Sweet

@5oh5 Joel Soil in the Lines of Their Palm

@aurorawritestoescape Joel Ribbon + Always and Forever

@tightjeansjavi Joel My Dearest

@beefrobeefcal Joel Just Wanted To Hear Your Voice

@thot-of-khonshu Joel Friendship Defined

@mermaidgirl30 Joel Stay in the Light

@quicksilvermad Din Drink Me

@nerdieforpedro Pero Her Smile was Worth It 

#my library #pedro pascal character fanfiction #joel miller #javier peña #dieter bravo #javi gutierrez #frankie morales #din djarin #pero tovar #agent whiskey #marcus pike #comandante veracruz #dave york

[littlemisspascal]

✨Stay in the Light✨

A/N: I’ve been wanting to do a one shot based off the song “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron for a while, and I finally got some inspiration yesterday to write this little piece. Hope you like it 🩵 Thank you to @mountainsandmayhem for being my beta reader before I decided to release this out to the world 💕

Summary: Joel gets injured after a raider attack, and he’s wishing he could’ve told you all the feelings he held back from you for so long

Word Count: 2.2k

Pairing: Joel x fem! reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Tags: Outbreak! Joel, Jackson! Joel, blood, angst, comfort, feelings, regrets, in both reader and Joel’s POV, no deaths, fluff (I am bad at tags, so let me know if I should add anything)

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

“When the night was full of terrors, and your eyes were filled with tears. When you had not touched me yet. Oh, take me back to the night we met”

- “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron

The ground is cold, wet, unwelcoming with a thick puddle of crimson blood pooling beneath his worn green flannel. Large flecks of powdered snow lace through his grey threaded curls that stick to his sweaty forehead. His vision blurs, going in and out in waves as pain takes hold of his insides. He can hear Tommy screaming in the near distance, his deep voice sounding like it’s washed out beneath a wave of deep water. He can barely register it, barely hear anything, but what he does see is a bright light, an angel in disguise. He sees you.

You. The girl he should’ve been more careful with. Your feelings, your heart, your everything. He was such an asshole ever since the first day you came walking through the front gates of Jackson. He should’ve been nicer, shouldn’t have yelled at you over petty things that were his doing and shouldn’t have thrown insults your way when you were just trying to help on every patrol you were assigned to with him.

Maybe if he would’ve been fucking nicer then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. A clean gunshot to the abdomen, now bleeding out on the thick white snow beneath him. Raiders. He wasn’t being careful, wasn’t paying attention. No, he was fucking fixed on arguing with you. Maybe he deserves it, maybe if he wasn’t such a grouch all the time then maybe none of this would’ve fucking happened. He sure as hell doesn’t deserve you. Warm, bright, gentle, kind. He was none of those things, so why the fuck were you still sitting here with him, keeping him from slipping into the thick fog of darkness?

“Joel! Stay with me, okay? Stay with me.” Your voice is so adamant, so terrified, so hurt. And it fucking kills him, destroys him. “Tommy! Help him!”

Joel sees the gathering tears that burn through your beautiful eyes, sees the absolute horror that’s coated through your knit together eyebrows, sees the pain of holding it all together just like you always do. Always so brave. His brave girl…. NO. You’re not his to keep, not his to hold, not his to tell everything’s going to be alright. You weren’t his and never would be. Not after the way he’s treated you.

He wishes you were his, but you’re not, and it’s his own damn fault for being so reckless. He should’ve been softer, more kind, like you. He should’ve done so many things, should’ve told you just how he felt. How much he likes you, how much he…

He winces in pain as Tommy presses down on the open wound, barely holding himself together to even keep his eyes open, but he fights. He fights for you. The girl he so desperately fell in love with over the last year, the girl he wished he treated differently. He should’ve fucking told you, but now it’s too late. It’s all too late.

“Hey, hey. Joel, look at me. Look at me!” You grab the sides of his face, sink your delicate fingers into the scruff of his greying beard, and cling to him just enough to where maybe he won’t slip through your fingers. You can’t lose him, you can’t.

“Joel, open your eyes. Please, keep them open for me.” You shake his head lightly, kneel over him and let your hair fall in a heap at your side as you pray for one more day with him. “Joel…”

Your voice is so sad, so desperate as you call out for him. He sees your face blur in his spotty vision, sees the glistening tears start to spill down your face. So he reaches up, musters up enough strength to wipe away the falling tears that stain your beautiful face. He thinks you’re so gorgeous, always has. Ever since you walked into his life, he knew. He knew he’d fall, and that’s why he pushed away so strongly. He didn’t want to lose you, he never wanted to. But now you were the one losing him…

He holds the side of your face for just a few more seconds, just enough to finally know he got you, some part of you, if only for a minute. And that was enough for him. At least he knew what it was like to feel your soft skin slipping under the weight of his calloused fingers. That moment alone was all he wanted.

He starts to close his eyes, starts to fade away into the midst of darkness and silence, but he hears you plead to stay in the light. “Stay in the light, Joel. Stay with me. Stay,” you beg. And he carries those words into the darkness with him. And then there’s nothing but the fading words of a promise he never could keep.

Stay in the light.

He awakes slowly, hearing the buzzing sound of some medical machine he doesn’t know the name of. Slowly but surely his eyes open as the harsh light from the blinding window slips against the warm sheets of the sterile bed. It takes him a second to come to himself, to know he’s not dead.

He looks cautiously down at his exposed torso, finding the tight bandage wrapped around his wound. It’s clean, mended to, but the pain burns through his body. Every breath he breathes feels like fire in his lungs, but at least he knows he’s alive.

He feels warmth sliding through his fingertips, feels comfort bubble over his entirety. He wonders what it is, wonders what thing could ever bring him comfort until he slowly turns his head and sees you sitting there on the edge of the bed, fingers laced through his while your thumb gently glides side to side in slow circles on the back of his rough hand.

His eyes go wide, eyebrows knit together as he stares wondrously at the girl he’s been pining over since the day he locked eyes on you. You look so goddamn beautiful there with your fingers threaded through his. He can feel it deep in his gut, that fluttering feeling he’s always tried so hard to push back down, but this time he can’t. He won’t. He can’t ignore the voices anymore that scream your name every single night he’s in between his sheets, wishing he could just have a chance to hold you, to feel you pressed against his firm chest. And maybe he would. One day. Maybe he still had time to make you his.

You hear a faint rustling sound in the sheets and turn your face slightly to the left, expecting it to only be your vivid imagination. Your jaw drops suddenly and your eyes go wide the moment you see Joel awake, breathing, alive.

“Joel!” You turn frantically and crowd his body, locking your arms tight around the back of his neck as you inhale his deep mahogany and pine cone scent.

“Ouch, take it easy!” Joel pants out as you jump back, realizing you might’ve hurt him with your body weight.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” you ask as you assess his wound, running your fingers lightly over the bandaged area. He winces a little as you smooth out the edges, but he just hums in response.

“I’m fine. Jus’ calm down, will ya?”

You gently smile at him and brace your hands on the fitted sheets, just barely grazing your skin over his warm, sweaty body. Your eyes scan over his bare chest as you take in the coarse hair that covers his broad chest, watching the way the cool sweat glazes over tanned skin. You think he looks so beautiful, even after a gunshot wound. You’ve never seen him bare chested, and it surprises you what it makes you feel inside. Warmth.

“You came back to the light,” you whisper out, grazing your fingertips across the back of his hand as he stares wide-eyed at you, honey eyes so intense that you swear they’re about to split you in half. “I was so scared, Joel. You scared me half to death!”

He just watches you, eyes wading into yours like a violent tidepool about to drag you into the crashing waves, but there’s a fondness to them, a slight gleam in his eyes as he assesses you. Slow, curious, eyes that look like they might shed a tear.

“You… you saved my life today.” His tone is somber, his honey eyes wild as you see tears lick the surface, but he won’t dare shed them. Not in front of you. That’d be too vulnerable.

“Mhm. If Tommy wasn’t there, I don’t know how I would’ve ever gotten you up on that saddle alone. But we did it. We made it in time. I was so scared we were too late. You weren’t… you weren’t really breathing. Even the doctor was worried you wouldn’t make it. You’re a… well, a miracle.”

His face turns pale, lips parted solemnly as he breathes and lets oxygen back into his tired lungs. “Why did you save me?”

His words surprise you as you furrow your eyebrows and shift your weight slightly on the bed so you’re facing him. “What do you mean?” Your words come out shaky, appalled. What did he mean why did you save him?

“Why did you save me?” His honey eyes bore into yours, fingers flexing around the white sheets as he just stares with flared nostrils.

You place a hand gently on top of his warm hand as he tries to pull away, but you don’t let him. “Because I think you’re worth saving.”

His plush lips tremble, his eyes blowing wide as he takes in your quiet words. He looks like he wants to say something, looks like he’s fighting with himself in his mind, but he just stares unblinking, taking in the soft way you look at him.

Finally, he clears his deep voice and rasps out a response. “I’m not worth saving.” His eyes look so sad, defeated, and you wish you could take away all his pain. Physical and emotional, you’d take it all on if it meant he could have one single day where he didn’t wear the weight of the entire world on his tired back.

You lean forward as you hear the creak of the old bed and place your hand gently on his bare chest, feeling the bristles of coarse dark hair running down his tanned skin. “I think you are, Joel.”

He gulps, arms fidgeting beneath you as you see him fight with himself, battling the demons of reaching out or letting you slip through his grasp. He finally finds the courage to slowly, steadily crawl his hand up the side of his chest, then ever so softly places it on top of yours.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for bein’ a jerk to you the past year. I was a real asshole, and there’s no excuse for the way I treated you. I think about it every single night, think about how I should’ve done better, how I should’ve tried harder because I… I…” Joel winces in pain as he tries to sit up, but you push him back down easily and try to get him to stay still.

“Hey, careful there. It’s okay, Joel. It’s…”

“No, please let me finish.” You nod your head and he continues with a low grunt through gritted teeth. “I should’ve been nicer to you. And I want to apologize for everything I’ve ever done, every hurtful thing I’ve ever said to you. I didn’t mean it, not really. I’ve jus’… I’ve been goin’ through a lot, but that’s no excuse. Because I should’ve told you how I felt about you, not pushed you away. You see, the thing is… well, thing is I like you, darlin’. A lot. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful and those eyes, that smile. I…”

You cut him off as you lean forward and crash your lips into his, letting his warmth overwhelm you as you slip into him. His tongue tastes like coffee, his skin smells of freshly cut firewood, and he feels so good in the palm of your hand. He surrounds you in something like warmth, ecstasy, something you’ve wanted to feel for so long. He glides his thick fingers through your hair and pulls you closer as he gets lost in you, overwhelming your senses until all you can smell, hear, feel is him. It feels so right, this feels right. You almost forget he’s injured until he grunts and shifts his weight to the right.

You quickly let go of the kiss and lean back, assessing if he’s alright, but he’s smiling. Warm, bright, glowing. You’ve never seen him like this, like he’s the happiest man in the world. It’s that twinkle in his chocolate irises that gets you, and you finally know that this is where you belong. In Jackson, with him.

He guides a strand of hair behind your ear and cups the side of your face as his warm, calloused thumb grazes gently across your cheekbone. “You kept me in the light, sweetheart. You’re exactly what I needed all along, I jus’ wish I didn’t wait so long to find the light.”

You sigh and smile. “It’s okay, Joel. You found it. You found me.”

“You gonna keep the light on for me, sweetheart?”

“Forever, if you want me to.”

He pulls you back in and grazes lightly over your lips as he whispers out, “Forever it is.”

Tagging some friends who might be interested 💛 @sawymredfox @burntheedges @littlevenicebitch69 @keylimebeag @vivian-pascal @rav3n-pascal22 @princesatracionera @bbyanarchist @amyispxnk @pedrostories @syd-djarin @msjarvis

#fic rec