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"The Stoppables"

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Some of these ghost fics be funny because it’s actually corny as hell to be wearing a Balaclava mask to bed imagine trying to kiss him and this is all you see

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((The ability to appreciate and evaluate human aesthetic is not determined by your sexuality))

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A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

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Last week I received a cease and desist letter, claiming that my F*CK THE LAPD design was in violation of LAPD intellectual property. A few days later my lawyer sent this letter, seen here in its entirety.

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When you’ve been cooking for long enough, you stop making recipes and start making “shit in a skillet” and “whatever soup”

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you know what really gets my goat?

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Once again I’ve become overly conscious over the fact that I’m really just a brain with tendrils controlling a meat mecha😔

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Y/N: *humming Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera while disassembling and cleaning their weapons*

Soap: Do you know what that means?

Y/N: Know what, Soap?

Soap: Volvo crochet a vet mall, or whatever it is they’re saying.

Y/N: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Yeah I know what the phrase means.

Soap: Well then what does it mean?

Y/N: Do you want to sleep with me tonight?

Soap: I’d thought you’d never ask 😘

-_-_-_-_-

Soap absolutely has been subtly playing this song around you waiting for his chance to strike. Man is a master in psychological warfare and only uses it in the dumbest of ways, you can’t change my mind.

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Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

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buck fucking wild to me that folks can readily accept the concept of being into breeding kink without ever actually wanting to be pregnant themselves, but cannot grasp the fact that the mental disconnect of sorts that allows that mindset might also apply to kinks that are significantly 'weirder'/'grosser'/more violent/less palatable