loganthrives

[loganthrives]

Can confirm, depressed my whole life and now I can't remember if I've followed basic routines in my mid 30s, like if I fed my dog or took my pills today. My brain is full of holes.

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".

#I am at the point where I'm considering a permanent tattoo on my forearm with my daily routine so I can check things off #like 'take meds' #'feed dog' #that sort of shit #my memory is terrible

[loganthrives]

Fandom PSAs

Dont’ Like, Don’t Read

or DL; DR

You are responsible for curating your own online experience.

If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.

Learn to use the Sort and Filter function on AO3, especially the Exclude tools.

On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.

If you hated something, you don’t need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.

The Back button is free. Use it.

Addendum:

Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.

I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.

Ship And Let Ship

or SALS

You are allowed to ship whatever you want.

Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.

You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, don’t use the ship tags for hate posts.

If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you don’t, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Don’t throw your hate in their face.

Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.

All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.

Addendum:

”I agree with this, except when…”

No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.

Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.

You don’t EVER harass real people over pixels.

If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.

Your Kink Is Not My Kink

or YKINMK / YKINMKATO

The longer version is ”Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay”.

People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.

Even if you don’t like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.

You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that it’s ”weird”.

Don’t kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.

This goes both ways: your kink is not someone else’s kink, so don’t push it onto those who are not into it.

Be Kind

or Don’t Be An Asshole

Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.

Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.

Don’t harass real people over fictional things.

Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.

Stop trying to ”win”. Fandom is not a competition.

Remember that your own experiences aren’t universally shared. Your perception of things can differ from someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean either of you is necessarily wrong.

#don't like don't read #fandom #rules to live by

[loganthrives]

just a reminder to COMPLETELY boycott Eurovision this year; Azerbaijan and Israel, despite committing genocide, are STILL allowed to compete & have NOT been banned. by refusing to ban both countries, Eurovision is profiting off of the genocide of Palestinians and Armenians.

do not listen to the artists. do not pirate or stream the artists' music, and this applies to ALL the artists who are competing and performing this year. do not listen to the songs on ANY platform, do not give them ANY attention.

write to your broadcasters and tell them you REFUSE to watch the channels until they recognise the Armenian and Palestinian genocides & that you find it disgusting how they are allowing Eurovision despite Azerbaijan and Israel's entries.

do NOT give eurovision OR the competing artists ANYTHING but silence.

boycott ALL of eurovision.

#fuck eurovision #fuck israel #free palestine

[loganthrives]

its kind of sad that if I, a trans man, decide by my own free will to wear a dress, I have to specifically tell people that I'm not detransitioning. Trans men, boys, mascs, and neutrals can wear feminine shit. Just because we want to be fem doesn't make us suddenly not trans or faking it or whatever the fuck else.

we get to decide how we identify.

not the clothes we wear.

and not you.

#facts #oh to be a soft boy in a pretty dress #transgender #lgbtq+

[loganthrives]

Weird to me that people think rich parents don't abuse their kids. Honestly of any parents they're probably the worst for it.

I know I grew up with privilege but I also grew up being told how expensive I was. Anything I needed I was made to feel guilty for needing it. Like, the privilege is inherent in that I had food on the table every day and new clothes to wear for school once a year, I had a school to go to and an allowance every week, but the cost of that was being screamed at if I ever wanted anything nicer. Being guilted for existing and having normal childhood needs on a daily basis.

And fuck asking my parents for money for anything. I learned early that that was a great way to give them some measure of power over me - either they would demand it back saying I didn't deserve it or expect me to do something for them in exchange for it.

When I was eleven years old I told my spawnpoint that I wanted a job. She laughed in my face because she thought I was being a dumb kid, but I figured out that if I made my own money then they couldn't tell me how I would be allowed to spend it (they were always telling me how I was allowed to spend my allowance). Even when they were giving me money for me to spend on my own recognizance, it was still my dad's money and if I bought myself something frivolous with it I was wasting it.

I essentially moved out at fifteen and claimed my financial independence early. I needed money from them one time since, when I was jobless and the rent was coming due, but I made a point of paying it back and then some the minute I could so that they couldn't attach any strings to me. They actually got angry with me for doing that. They tried to push back or pretend like it was a gift, but I knew their fucking game and I wasn't going to play it.

I never let them cosign for me for my first credit card or first apartment. I didn't even let them pay for my college. I did all of those things by myself. It was harder to do but I was determined.

I feel like all the emphasis on how expensive I was as a kid made me hypervigilant when it came to my finances. They never taught me anything re: money - I had to teach myself. I was made to be afraid of debt and used to severely scold myself for buying anything I considered a luxury, from nice food to some knicknacks from the dollar store. One time in my new apartment I accidentally dropped my dinner on the floor and had a full meltdown over the wasted food and what it cost.

I've had to do a lot of work to undo the abuse. Telling myself its okay to have needs. To give myself permission to have nice things, and to buy the nicer version of something because I like it more. To give myself little treats here and there not as a reward but just because. To be a little in debt so long as I have a plan to pay it off. I still struggle with detaching my self-worth as a person from my financial success or how good of a job I have, but I'm still working on it. Everything in my life has had a dollar value attached to it in some way or another and that's frankly traumatizing.

So like, yes, I have privilege. I grew up in a suburb in the upper-middle class. My dad made six figures in the 90s as a software dev. We had a roof over our heads and food in our mouths and were white. But privilege can mask abuse. Privilege and abuse can overlap - they're not mutually exclusive.

Don't assume that just because someone has privilege that its always been sunshine and roses their whole lives. Everyone's life experiences are different. If the only thing you can see when you look at a person is their privilege or the dollar value in their bank account, then you're not really seeing people are you?

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

#rant #vent #I know this might ruffle some feathers but its my honest experiences #for the record I'm very okay with killing capitalism off #I don't love that this was how I was raised and wouldn't wish it on anyone #we are humans and we should be allowed to be human without having a dollar value attached to the experience of it or onto each of our needs #we should instead be enjoying life and making art and seeing our friends #we each only get so much life to live #we should be spending it in joy and celebration not rotting away in this capitalist hellscape

[loganthrives]

i can never write a soulmates au cause i very quickly stop thinking about romance and start thinking about the sociological implications of a world where soulmates are a confirmed verifiable thing

#lmao the one soulmate fic I tried writing basically turned into this

[loganthrives]

I don't have the energy for a whole thought out post but Biden signed a thing to ban TikTok and the language in the bill says that the president gets to determine what's a foreign app and whether or not it'll be banned.

It's incredibly fucking vague language which is awesome. I love when censorship bills could be applied to anything and everything and I especially love when those bills are passed when everyone's mind is on fascism and fears of a fascist dictator getting the presidency.

I love that the president has the power to censor apps and such within that context.

.....I truly do not know how many more times I can say "Biden is a fascist" without strangling every liberal who argues with me about it. Like how many steps to fascism does it take for y'all to realize he's one of them???

Non-fascists don't take steps towards fascism!! Hello!! like genuinely what the fuck are y'all thinking

#fuck biden #genocide joe #fascism #american politics #tiktok ban

[loganthrives]

New chapter of Not Your Doll: Underfell Edition just went up :)

#not your doll #underfell #writing #fanfic #sans x reader #uf!sans #undertale #tw: car crash

[loganthrives]

Any time someone uses the word "cringe" to describe anything to do with fandom I just kind of want to block them on sight. Is that anyone else or just me?

Like, people are having fun making things about a world they love and you want to come into their spaces and crap on them for it?? Lmao bye.

#vent #maybe I'm just getting old #but that kind of behaviour just feels really juvenile and uncalled for #don't yuck someone else's yum

[loganthrives]

if you're transgender you have to live.

#lgbtq+ #Important

[loganthrives]

#direct action #solidarity

[loganthrives]

#yep

[loganthrives]

PSA

[loganthrives]

lmao this is bonkers to me. Sorry but you don't own the character just because you developed feelings for them and you don't get to determine their fate in a story. That's up to the writers. If the direction of a story is not to your liking, stop reading/watching it?

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

[loganthrives]

The one subject I would strongly recommend that you be very careful with writing and that you should look for media and writing safety guidelines on is suicide, because you don't want to cause something called suicide contagion.

The way suicide is depicted in media is something you have to be very careful of, because depending on the language you use and how you talk about it, it can cause people who are already depressed & experiencing suicidal ideation to die to suicide. If someone they're affected by (such as a friend, family member, classmate or member of their community), or that they've grown to care about (even fictional characters - our brains can't tell the difference!) dies by suicide, it can cause more deaths by suicide in a community.

You don't want your fic to end up like 13 Reasons Why (and why I'll never watch that show and recommend against it).

Here's a decent article with some writing do's and don'ts.

Please also include relevant suicide hotlines and resources that you are aware of whenever talking about suicide in any context. Here's Wikipedia's page with a few of them by country.

💜

🔹 Saying that it's okay to write or read about dark and taboo topics but only when they're portrayed in a certain way is still censorship.

🔹 Wanting to ban or forbid media that you believe portrays a negative topic in a positive light, by glorifying, romanticizing, or fetishizing it is still censorship.

🔹 There is no objective metric to decide if a story is portraying a negative topic the 'right' way.

🔹 Just because a piece of fiction doesn't explicitly condemn or portray an evil action in a bad light in the text doesn't mean the author thinks its good or is trying to persuade the audience that it is good.

🔹 Survivors of trauma will not always write fiction about their trauma in a way that seems 'right' or 'normal' to you.

🔹 Banning fiction because it portrays dark, taboo topics in a way you consider gross or disgusting is still censorship.

#tw: suicide mention #writing guidelines for suicide #suicide contagion #I'm pretty sure there are standards for this but I couldn't find anything internationally recognized? #feel free to tag on if you have better info though!

[loganthrives]

Oh thank gods 🙃 I was very worried for a second! I was really hoping casting my words into the void would somehow help, but right after sending them I was so worried it might've been the wrong thing to say or not really relevant and they might ring hollow, etc, etc.

I just kind of threw a paper airplane with some words of wisdom into the void and hoped it landed okay 😅

For the writing thing - look, I super get it. Sometimes the words just don't come no matter how bad you want them to. Sometimes you leave entire worlds hanging out just waiting for the words to grow them, and they just don't come. It can take months, years... Its not a linear process from start to finish, I feel. Especially not if you have a ton of other life stuff going on and getting in the way.

But its not hopeless, and its not forever that you'll feel this way. It sounds like you're struggling with some stuff right now and that's okay. You're human, and the animal of your body needs time to rest and recover. And that's perfectly okay and the healthiest thing you can do. You are worthy of rest and care.

dude youre awesome thank you

but to assuage concerns, this is about writing not like. well look yes im depressed but im meditated most of the time now

so

writing

im giving up

beating my head against a metaphorical wall is not what i signed up for

Ill try again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow until i figure out how to bleed words again

or regain my ability to make myself laugh with tone

but for now it is impossible and i shant think about it anymore

thank you

#💜💜💜

[loganthrives]

Hey btw this is a pro mary sue/"cringy" oc blog. You're creating! You're having fun! That's all that matters and I'm proud of you.