looking4purpose

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

Why does even the happy hurt?

#suicide tw #suicide #suicidal #depression #depressed #fuck reality #mental health #it's okay #life is hard #stop asking #i dont want to lie #does it get better? #hapiness #i am happy tho #i promise #it still hurts #i want it to stop hurting #im tired #im sorry #im not okay #i wish i could be more #i dont want to dissapoint everyone #dissapointment #fuck #fuck it all #just smile #i need to be incoherent #i cant handle myself #im an asshole #to myself and others

[looking4purpose]

C'mon....make it easy.

#mental health #drugs #late night thoughts #depression #just smile #amazing job #it's hard #life is hard #depressed #anxiety #drug life #drug goals #druggie #junkie for life #mentally drained #mentallyunstable #relationship #relationships #self harm #self mutilator #cutters #hurting #fuck it all #adulting #life #see what i mean #this bitch never shuts up #suicidal #suixide

[looking4purpose]

i don't usually post this kind of stuff at all, this may even be the first, but it was today i learned that other people use shoulder blades as inspiration too. god, they're so fucking beautiful 😭😭😭

Obojczyki sa takie piekne

[looking4purpose]

I’d rather be in your bed

Your arms wrapped tightly around me

Assuring me that I'll be ok

Heavy breathing and silenced sobs

Under cramps I hold my broken pieces

And give into this cry attack

As all those anxious thoughts come creeping back

From the dark corners of my fucked up mind

Darkness hugs me tightly

I can't move, I can't breathe

Depression holds my chest

I miss your loving whispers

Your hands brushing through my long hair

I'd rather be in your bed right now

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

When the best people are far away you often sit back in retrospect and youre like, "what the fuck"?

And they want you to share your feelings with them but really you just want to cherish the time you have talking to them and not ruin it.

The insecurities that they will get tired of you just like you get tired of yourself. Even if they tell you they won't. It makes the feelings worse cause you know they care but you also know that YOU care enough to not want to hurt them, to not put them through that, etc.

When no one cares, you have that option you know, if you go away it hurts no one but yourself.

I'm not sure I've had people care before now... and I know it's really shitty of me but...

I'm not entirely sure I like it.

Why would I hurt people that I love? I finally, as of today, see the predicament it puts people in.

Where do you find that line where it becomes an option again? Where you know that you're hurting them more by being here? Why does my brain have to be so messy? Why can't I be okay all the time? Why does there have to be thoughts and drama?

Someone forget to tell my brain this is a drama free zone.

My head is really messy.

#tw #death tw #suicidal #suicide tw #suicide #just smile #it's okay #mental health #fuck #fuck it all #random shit #random thoughts #spilled thoughts #thoughts #when people care #it changes everything #whats wrong with my brain #depression #depressed #it's hard #sadness #sad #sad thoughts #fatalism #is my theme #drama #not young enough to claim teenage angst #break from life

[looking4purpose]

Um. Really?

When, pray to tell, did I become such a cheapskate? yeah..... that was hypothetical...don't answer that... It does the job though...

Makes me a lot more nauseous than I used to be 🤔 lack of weed perhaps?

Companies going on like, " the rate of drug overdose deaths involving this drug doubled"

"this drug has increased risk of overdose and seizure" and "possible development of serotonin syndrome" and possible coma and death" "faster rates of tolerance and addiction" "increased risk of death and seizure".

Excuse me, but....

Why the fuck am I'm still here?

#mental health #drugs #fuck it all #tramadol #trams #pills #just smile #prescription #narcotics anonymous #narcotic substance #narcotics #not high enough #highsociety #just want to sleep #break from life #drug life #life is hard #fuck #alcohol #not an addict #yet #it's okay #everything is peachy #depression #depressed #suicidal #suicide #suicidal thoughts are welcome #people care now and thats hard #not sure what im doing

[looking4purpose]

_ _ _ _ me

a) kill

b) a

c) b

[looking4purpose]

Fresh flowers in the lobby at work today.

Not to be that girly-girl but... I kinda love flowers 😍🌷🌼🌻🌺🥀🌹🏵💮🌸💐🤷🏻‍♀️😬❤️

#flowers #nature #aesthetics #photography #nature photography #beauty #natural beauty #girly things #hate to love #mood board #pink aesthetic #roses #sunflower #flower #pretty #random stuffs #i kinda love my job #tbh

[looking4purpose]

Hard isn't it?

#depression #depressed #suicide #suicidal #it's okay #mental health #it's hard #bpd stuff #bpd feels #abuse #trauma #hurt #sad as fuck #sad #just smile #late night thoughts #self harm #emotions #emotional #unstable #pain #life #lost #lonely #lonliness

[looking4purpose]

❤ fucking idol ❤

Yes... I love her.

#tracy chapman #where you live #music #sad music #happy music #folk music #indie #rhythm and blues #blues rock #pop rock #mental health #i love her #music idol #female idols #idol #soulmusic #soul music #singer/songwriter #singer #radical feminism #feminist #lgbtqia #depression #suicide #would you change #pain #truth #heartbreak #broken

[looking4purpose]

[looking4purpose]

I don't usually post stuff like this but this one was really accurate and well-illustrated. Sometimes it's hard for people who have been abused, but it's also hard for people who are with/around them to understand. It does take a lot of time and patience on both sides.

#abuse #abusive #mental health #physical abuse #mental abuse #emotional abuse #neglect #sexual abuse #sadness #sad #depression #depressed #it's hard #patience #be patient #struggle #struggles #flashback #grief #trauma #pain #hurt #disconnected #dissasociation #parents #family #relationship #relationships #healing #self help