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loveless-fairy · 3 months
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We moved on way too quickly from this.
I’m still waiting for her apology or the live with her explanation.
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loveless-fairy · 4 months
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The way that I screamed!!!! 👹
I missed his face and his voice!!! Dear god his voice 🩷
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loveless-fairy · 9 months
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Oh shit! Oliver Leon Jones left me on the floor
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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Evan Buckley and why the writing choices for him in the season finale were crap
This is my take on Evan Buckley, and it's a long one.
I have to start to say that yes, I am a Buddie shipper, but also I think it’s fair to say that before that, I am an Evan Buckley truer. So my take comes from my love for the character, rather than my hopes for the ship.
With that out of the way, let’s get into it.
I have a lot to say about the season finale, but I’ll concentrate my thoughts on Evan Buckley and how this show managed to give us development and no growth at all, all at the same time.
It’s really important to remember that last night’s episode was meant to be a series finale. They made this episode with the thought of “this is the last time” on their heads.
This was a send-off, and as such, it was quite awful.
Maddie’s and Chim’s closure was fine, Athena and Bobby's was perfect because they finally get to have their honeymoon, and without telling anyone. Very on brand. Hen and Karen was a happy note, but it left me wondering, why now? I mean, it’s been a while since we saw this storyline and it kinda came out of the blue. A surprise if you will. A good one though. Karen and Hen deserve the world. The thing is that seemed rushed.
The lack of Ravi. I’m gonna just leave it at that.
Eddie. I have to be honest, this felt weird and also out of the blue. Just like people on Twitter were asking. Where did he get her number? That entire scene felt off. But that’s an analysis that I’m whiling to do another day. For now, let’s just say that it was a no for me. That’s how we were supposed to say goodbye to Edmundo Diaz? I’m sorry but no. He deserves better. We deserved better.
Now, let’s talk about Buck. It’s gonna be quite a ride, so bear with me. As I see it Evan Buckley is a very complex character and sometimes I get the feeling that even the writers and showrunner of the show don’t fully understand how deep they can dig, so it’s understandable that fans feel underwhelmed with the decisions regarding Buck. As viewers, we tend to analyze everything. As fans, we like to see different sides of our favorite characters and we pay attention to everything. We keep track and sometimes, and not just with Buck, I feel that we do a better job at knowing the characters than the writers do.
With that said. We had Buck dying at the beginning of the second part of the season. It was quite a shock for the 118 and in my opinion, it was very well done. The emotional aspect of it was painfully good, so I had my hopes up for true growth for Evan Buckley. And we were heading that way until we weren’t.
I feel that after everything he went through, having to say goodbye to Evan Buckley with him getting involved with someone he just met and without really addressing his trauma was lazy writing. Plain and simple.
One of the things that always bothered me about how the show decides to write Buck is that he never truly faced his traumas.
Let’s see. Since he joined the 118 he got a truck landing on his leg, a pulmonary embolism, found himself in the middle of a tsunami with Christopher and he even thought the little guy was dead for several hours. He had to watch his best friend get shot in front of him, and for the second time, he feared for Eddie’s life. Just like Maddie said, just another trauma to add to the pile.
He almost died in a factory fire and was struck by lighting. Not to mention he was in an overpass collapse with his entire team. I know I left a few things out, but you get the idea.
And all of this is just since he joined the 118.
Let’s talk about his life before coming to Los Angeles.
I am a firm believer that Evan Buckley doesn’t really know what love looks like and what to do with it.
True. Growing up he had Maddie, and she did as much as she could with the few emotional tools she had. She was a kid herself. We know she raised him, and she did a fantastic job, but at the end of the day, she was his sister. The sister who had to step up into the mom role, even when their own mother was living under the same roof.
Buck grew up feeling that his parents didn’t really want him. Now we know why but can you imagine how confusing and painful must have been growing up like that?
They were his parents. They were the ones who should have loved him no matter what. They were supposed to be his safety net, the one place where he could feel safe. But they weren’t.
How damaged a kid had to be for him to realize by himself that only when he gets hurt he can get his parent's attention? Let that sink in for a minute.
As Taylor Swift said: “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. The slowest way is never loving them enough”.
And that’s what they did. They never loved him enough.
So, no. Evan Buckley doesn’t really know what healthy and unconditional love looks like. He had Maddie but the ones who were supposed to do the job and show him and teach him about love didn’t.
Not having that growing up leaves you with scars that will haunt you for years and years. And trust me, I know what I’m talking about. On a good note, he’s surrounded by love at the 118. And we’ve seen him learn about love right in front of our eyes. But the trauma doesn’t go away. That’s not how it works.
We’ve seen him being left behind, and jokingly doubting if the members of his chosen family will come for him when needed - which they did. His self-worth was on the freaking ground, but slowly but surely has been getting better.
So, yes. After him realizing why his parents never loved him enough (Love me anyway), and finally letting Taylor go, I thought we were going to see a new side of Evan Buckley. And with the couch analogy coming to life, I really thought we were going to get a growth storyline, especially after they decided to kill him.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Natalia, and I understand why he felt like she ignited a spark in him. I really do. But I also thought he was going to realize it was a temporary thing, because overall having someone fetishizing your death is not really attractive.
As I said before, even after years of being surrounded by love, the trauma and the psychological scars of not being loved enough as a kid will haunt you to adulthood, especially if you don’t go to therapy to deal with it.
And they showed us just that at the beginning of the second half of the season.
As someone who wants love and loves so fully, when the same love is given back, Buck doesn’t know what to do with it.
I see it like this. When someone didn’t have physical affection growing up, as an adult is more likely to have an aversion to touch. But what happens when that person craves a hug, when that person knows it needs a hug but has no idea how to ask? And if it gets one, what happens then? It doesn’t know how to react and what to do.
After being struck by lightning we saw a parade of people worried about him and whiling to be there during his recovery and Buck was done. One would think he will take advantage of the situation and will let them shower him with affection, but it was quite the opposite. The concept of this kind of love made him uncomfortable.
And then he had people reminding him that he actually died –for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, mind you- when he clearly was trying to downplay what happened.
So yeah, Natalia really ignited something new in him, because since the lightning she was the first one who looked at him without worries and fear. Quite the contrary, she was fascinated by the fact that he died. She literally was the getaway car for these traumas, so he saw an opportunity and took it.
I wasn’t really that surprised when he said to Eddie that she really sees him, because from his point of view that may be true. But the thing is that she’s only seeing what he wanted to show, which is this version of him that’s running away from his trauma. Meanwhile, the people in his life who are a constant will see that too but also, eventually, will dig deeper and will force him to see and face what he is purposely avoiding.
At the end of the day, he was looking for validation that what happened wasn’t that bad and that it was not worth the fuss, and he found that with Natalia.
So, sure. Being with her was easy for about 2 seconds. Then she runs away, pretty much in the same way Taylor did. Because people are right, is not hard to see the parallels between how Taylor and Natalia happened. Both after major trauma.
In my head, I could see Natalia coming back so they can give it another shot, but Buck will have realized by then that he reached out in the first place for all the wrong reasons. He would have to face his mortality and grow from it. Maybe he would work on himself and put his energy into growing at the job since he was having doubts before, and rightfully so.
I’m serious when I say that I’m in charge of pushing the Evan Buckley lieutenant-era agenda.
And with the couch metaphor, what can I say? In my perfect fantasy world, Buck would have realized the couch was Eddie and then we would have had Buddie canon. But since that’s virtually impossible as long as Kristen Reidel is the showrunner of 911, I thought the season was gonna end up with Buck buying the damn couch by himself since he realized his own worth, and that he as “just Buck” is enough and him knowing himself and seeing himself for what he is, is the most important relationship he has. An open and hopeful ending. A full circle with the moment back at the beginning of the season when he realized what the couch represented in his life.
What a send-off.
And maybe, in another season that now we know is a sure thing, after the trauma and growth, he can reconnect with Natalia and really see if he wanted to be with her because of how she treated his death or because there was something real there after all.
But no, they decided to go with the safe route and have him ignore his trauma and have him dive into a romantic relationship, which according to 911 is the cure for everything.
I was mad at the beginning of the second half of season 6 because I felt they made him forgive his parents way too easily. I know they went to therapy together, but it felt like all the damage and the hurt were overlooked in favor of giving the Buckleys the redemption arc they didn’t deserve. It was the show invalidating Buck’s trauma and that didn’t sit well with me.
And also, when I saw the promo for the finale I thought they were going to do the full circle thing with Buck taking charge at the scene and proving that he can act as interim captain. The parallel between the first episode of the season and the last would have been beautiful. Him buying the couch by himself and acting in charge at the house meanwhile Bobby is getting better.
That would have been a great way to say goodbye to Evan Buckley. Showing us he is more than his relationships. He, by himself, is more than enough.
What did I say before? Lazy writing.
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that they have him delivering “his baby”, which is not really his, and having him act all professional even when we saw the moment he broke his own heart for a second there right before he passed the baby to Cameron, and they still managed to left us with the feeling that there was no growth for the character.
One step forward and 150 steps back.
Anyway, I really hope next season something change with the showrunner or in the writing room, because we’re going in circles with Buck and people are getting tired.
My takeaway from the season is that Evan Buckley died for 3 minutes and 17 seconds and didn’t learn a damn thing.
Give that man a breakdown and have him go to a therapist. He desperately needs therapy.
Finally, I hate to think they had the opportunity of a lifetime to give closure to a character as complex as Evan Buckley and they decided to reduce him to a romantic interest.
Thank god that wasn’t the last episode of 911.
There’s still room for redemption.
On another note, Eddie realizing that Pepa was wrong and that in order to be happy you don’t need a romantic relationship; that would have been a good ending too. I understand where she’s coming from, but in this day and age, being alone is not a sad and pathetic thing as she made it look.
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash Additional Tags: Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Coma, Episode: s06e11 In Another Life (9-1-1 TV), Major Character Injury, Eddie Goes to Therapy, Protective Bobby Nash, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Bobby Nash, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Whump, No beta we die like the chemistry between Eddie and Anna Summary:
Buck was strike by lightning and left hanging from the ladder, and Eddie has too many feelings about that. He was ready for the sadness and the fear of losing Buck. But he was not ready for the anger and the resentment he felt every time he looked at Buck in that hospital bed.
Read in AO3
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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Summary:
"He is involved because he cares. And he is more than just Evan's boss. He is his friend, someone Evan knows he can go to, no matter what happens". Unlike you, Maddie left unsaid but everybody got the message. "Isn't he the same captain he sued after his accident?” Phillip asked ironically. "Bobby was trying to protect him. He and Evan talked things out and everything is okay now," answered Maddie. "Protecting him, from what? Himself? Because that I can believe," he mocked. -- Buck is struck by lightning, the Buckley parents are awful human beings and Bobby Nash can cure all the daddy issues in the world.
Read in AO3
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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I feel that we’ve seen Buck loosing his shit or being so worry about people in the 118 family. Sure, he wears his heart in his sleeve but I really need to see someone, but not Maddie, loosing his shit over Buck being hurt.
Buck cares so much, I need someone to do that for him, but someone from his chosen family.
Of course, my first option is Eddie, but I wouldn’t mind if we see Bobby really worried about Buck. After all the kid once told him he was one of the most important people in his life, and even told TK that Bobby may as well be his dad.
I know the 118 loves him but I really need to see them give some of the love and care back to Buck. In a more over the top way.
Personally I imagine the Buckley parents absent from the hospital because “they don’t do hospitals” and Bobby ripping them a new one o saying something along the lines “it’s ok. He has me”, since Buck’s dad is nowhere near his son’s bed.
Thoughts?
Obviously all my thoughts are quite biased because my love for Evan Buckley knows no boundaries
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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How is it fair that my creative muse makes itself known the last day of the year?
I’m gonna welcome 2023 projecting my mental health on Buck, writing Buddie and making Bobby the dad that Buck needs.
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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In response to this post, I've literally received so much hate for not overly shipping Buddie, to the point of suicide-bating. I don't hate on those people who do ship them because my point was that I can see them both platonically and romantically so I'm happy if they never get together, but some literally took it as an insult and accused me of being homophobic and made various other comments. I ended up deleting my account and now I have a bare-bones one and just lurk because I still enjoy the fics and the edits.
My point in this case is that yes, people get hate for shipping them, but it's just as bad if you don't. I know of other people who left the fandom for receiving the same stuff I did, and I know of a few who refuse to join the fandom because they've seen the hate and regardless of their shipping preferences (they're big lovers of buddie), they don't want to be involved.
I wanna start by saying that nobody should get hate messages for what they think. I don't care if you ship them or not, people are so mean online, and it saddens me because this kind of behavior can ruin a fandom and the whole experience that comes with it.
I had my fair share of bad experiences in fandoms, and that's why I'm not as active as I would like. The fear and knowing my mental health is not good enough to deal with the fallout.
With that said, I also believe that not everything we think is meant to be said aloud. When it comes to ships, there are a lot of ships that I don't agree on. Some ships are very popular ones, and honestly, I don't see it, but there are people who do. So, even if I don't see it, who am I to tell them they are wrong. Who am I to basically tell them their feelings are not valid. And it goes the other way around. If other people don't see where I'm coming from when it comes to a ship, that's okay. They have their reasons, just like I have my reasons for what those two characters wake up in me. I'm not gonna insult them or make them feel their views are not valid.
The problem, I think, comes when so people are very vocal about what they like and don't like. And in sharing their views they come out judgmental and aggressive. So when someone comes and basically says you are wrong for shipping two characters, or for don't see them together, is kinda normal that you feel attacked, and not everyone reacts calmly to it. And sometimes, after hearing the same thing over and over again, it may be difficult to separate honest comments from the ones that come with ill intentions.
But as much as I can understand some reactions, it pains me to read that they treated you as homophobe. I'm sorry for that.
It amazes me how fast things can get out of control.
But coming back to my original question. I still don't get why people feel the need to not only share everything they think but to insult and make people feel bad because of their views. As long you are not harming anyone, nobody should attack you for your beliefs.
Gosh, I hope this made sense. I'm kind of a mess when I start writing like this.
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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Honest question. Why do people get so upset and so mad at those who ship Buddie??
I've seen several hateful messages against people who ship Buck and Eddie, and besides the obvious, why are people like this??? How can you get so pressed and hate someone just for shipping two fictional characters???
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loveless-fairy · 1 year
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I feel like I’ve read every single fic of Bobby acting like Buck’s dad and I need more.
I love Bobby being a father to Buck
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I just love them
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loveless-fairy · 2 years
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I'm crying! I really wanna watch 911 but my usual spot failed me spectacularly
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loveless-fairy · 2 years
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i’m gonna need more worried eddie and hurt!buck fics pronto !!! step on it friends ! 😭
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loveless-fairy · 3 years
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Mr. “‘He’s not- we’re not’ - subtle is what you are not!“-Diaz in Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by @hmslusitania  
Eddie’s PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch.
Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.
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loveless-fairy · 3 years
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Sir!!!!
Dear god, this man is gonna be the end of me
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loveless-fairy · 3 years
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I love him 😍
Is that a pink face mask? 🥰
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loveless-fairy · 3 years
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Don’t you love when people don’t have any good arguments so they have to insult people, and in this case a whole community, to defend their favorite whatever.
If anything, this reassures everything I think about this whole situation surrounding the casting of Gabrielle Walsh as Ana Flores, an actress who has built her career playing Latina roles, when she is not part of the Latin community. And no, having Latino friends and going to several quinceañeras doesn't make you Latina.
Also, bold of you to assume I’m white 🙄
Anyway, sometimes this fandom is a shitshow.
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