Tumgik
Text
BUZZFEED UNSOLVED: SUPERNATURAL SENTENCE STARTERS ( S2. )
❛ and the worst part is, i don’t even have my holy water! ❜ 
❛ you escaped the clutches of yet another demon. ❜ 
❛ there may very well be a hot dog vendor in chicago who is a bigfoot. ❜     
❛ demons, you cowards! ❜ 
❛ this is like satan’s cement butt hole. ❜ 
❛ i think your douche meter is usually half mast but right now it’s about three quarters full. ❜ 
❛ i think a moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts. ❜ 
❛ well the only way to really provoke them is to provoke them! ❜     
❛ i think the ground is cleaner than this couch. ❜ 
❛ holy shit, it’s a jacuzzi tub! ❜ 
❛ i stole them off a woman who died on the titanic! ❜ 
❛ no, no, no, you’re going to scare the ghosts away. ❜ 
❛ if i see people taller than me, i get concerned about them because i think they’re gonna die. . young. ❜ 
❛ jesus christ, do you always have to insult the ghosts at the place we’re at? ❜ 
❛ if george clooney was on the tonight show and you set him on fire, one of his feet would burn and the other one would probably still be planted there on the floor in a very nice shoe — clooney’s flammable. ❜ 
❛ i’ve always gotta’ think about stuff, y’know? like this mannequin in this tub, what’s he doing here? ❜ 
❛ hey demons, it’s me, ya’ boy. ❜ 
❛ it is a very old piece of footage, but so is die hard — still good. ❜ 
❛ so it was aliens? they showed up, gave ‘em ipads, gave ‘em a zune, built the pyramids, left, and that’s it? ❜ 
❛ stop telling the ghosts to follow me home. ❜ 
❛ oh so you’re going to make me sit in the shitty chair? ❜ 
❛ this guy has been inhaling too many cat shit fumes. ❜     
❛ i took an improv comedy class once, ‘cause i’m a white guy. ❜ 
❛ i just got startled by a disco ball. ❜ 
❛ maybe this ghost just loves to blaze it. ❜ 
❛ just, to be fair, fuck christopher columbus. ❜ 
❛ i’m not doing this because i want to steal, i‘m doing this because i want to give the ghosts significant reason to haunt me. ❜ 
❛ hey ghouls! the boys are here. ❜ 
❛ i think everyone needs a hobby, and if you don’t have one, that’s when you’re probably gonna start killing people. ❜ 
❛ i wasn’t fat-shaming bigfoot! ❜         
❛ this is what happens when people are passive aggressive full-time. ❜ 
❛ ghost 101: one, knock book off shelf. week two, hold a candlestick in the middle of a hallway. three…sheets. ❜ 
❛ it looks like one of the conjuring films. ❜ 
❛ anytime you get uneasy, that’s me! ❜ 
❛ if there were a town full of me in the puritan times, we’d have landed on the moon in 1790. ❜ 
❛ we’re just two guys sitting in a tub. ❜ 
❛ demons! you’re not trying hard enough — plunge us into darkness! ❜     
❛ you gotta’ fuckin’ calm down, man. ❜ 
❛ why is it someone who chokes on a peanut doesn’t get a ghost? ❜ 
❛ i think it’s a little bit more fun to believe that humans are capable of some truly horrific things. ❜ 
❛ i’m exposing my cranium to you. ❜     
❛ there’s a good chance tonight is the night you see me die on camera. ❜ 
❛ shadows do tend to follow you though, that’s how they work. ❜ 
❛ this is gonna get a little morbid, but who’s to say that a burning body doesn’t smell like barbecue? ❜ 
❛ i didn’t even get to do all the things on my bucket list. ❜ 
❛ i don’t wanna be a ghost hunter, this is all bullshit! ❜ 
❛ you keep tricking me into talking to them, you fuckin’ dickhead! ❜ 
❛ spooky, huh? ❜ 
❛ is it very european to — to burst into flames? ❜ 
❛ and i guess this is where we’re fuckin’ sleeping because we’re idiots. ❜ 
❛ ( wheeze ) ❜ 
3K notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
Text
Starters | Heroes & Villains
|HERO|
“You’re not getting away this time!”
“Your tools are impressive, but they can’t beat natural born power.”
“Don’t you ever grow weary of the same routine?”
“You’re a monster.”
“I must say, of all the people I put behind bars, you’ve got to be the worst.”
“I don’t want to play your sick mind games, I’m not one of your victims!”
“You can’t control me like you can your little puppets, can you?”
“Ugh, I feel bad for whoever has to sort all this mess out.”
“I’m just…tired. I’m tired of everyone’s lives lying on my shoulders.”
“Why can’t these people just learn to take care of themselves?”
“I enjoy my work, I’m a savior! I wouldn’t trade that for anything!”
|VILLAIN|
“What’s the matter, are you afraid of me? Good.”
“I have to say, you are giving me quite a bit of trouble.”
“You’re about to piss me off, brat.”
“Come on, you can get out of that, can’t you? At least try.”
“Go on, at least put on a show if you’re going to challenge me.”
“The last guy didn’t end up so well, if you’ve heard. I admire your bravery.”
“As much as I appreciate tenacity, I don’t appreciate annoying flies interrupting my plans.”
“Now that I’ve got you, what should I do first?”
“Relax, kiddo. Not everyone’s out here for mass murder or world domination. Maybe I just wanted to take this car for a joy ride.”
“Why do you always have to ruin my fun?”
“Why did I turn bad? Why do heroes ask such inane questions?”
“You don’t need to understand me, I don’t WANT you to understand me!”
“Not everyone can be pulled into the light, hero.”
7K notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media
So handsome
434 notes · View notes
Text
“Phoney?” Lucifer raised his eyebrow in a surprise and offended manner. “Said someone who’s hiding behind a doll.” He snorted as he turned his body to her and leaned down resting his elbows on his knees so now he could get a closer look. She seemed to be very...mobile for a doll. He couldn’t see any voice  recorder attached to her and her face...Well, Lucifer would say that the look on her face was anything but friendly, definitely not a kids’ number one in the toys contest. He refrained from touching the doll even though she was within his reach. He had a bad feeling about her. “So a walking and talking doll walks into a bar...” He paused and slightly tilted his head. “What’s the punchline?”
Open//all
13 notes · View notes
Text
Jealous Lovers Sentence Starters
as requested by anon. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !
“Who was that?”
“I don’t like the way he/she/they look/s at you.”
“How could I make you jealous? I melt whenever you say my name.”
“Hi! I’m ___’s girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/etc. Ever heard of me?”
“So what if I’m jealous?”
“You are spending WAY too much time with that guy/girl/person.”
“How come you never do that with me?”
“Hey. You’re mine.” / “Don’t worry. I’m yours.”
“I’m going to kick his/her/their ass! No one can touch you like that except for me.”
“I heard you and ___ had lunch.”
“Are you jealous?~”
“Can I just give you another hickey?” / “Did you really have to give me so many hickeys?”
“I can’t have these people all over you.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t worry about him/her/them, we’re just friends.”
“Don’t you trust me?” / “You’re not the one I don’t trust…”
“I know that you love me, but your jealousy is getting out of hand.”
“You don’t own me…except when you make that face.”
“I don’t remember our hello kiss being a hello makeout. Are you threatened by my friend?”
“Who are you texting? I thought I just saw a heart emoji.”
“Why is your ass so amazing? Everyone is staring at it and I hate it.”
“Hey, pal. His/her/their eyes are up there.”
“I don’t know what that was about, but I love seeing you all riled up.”
“This is outrageous. I demand more attention.”
“Oh you and ___ went there? That’s where we went on our first date.”
“You’re with ME now.”
“What is/are he/she/they doing here?”
11K notes · View notes
Text
Lucifer glanced at her, the corner of his mouth raised slightly and he nodded. “Very...wisely said. Too bad not everyone has a choice really...Especially if they have such a powerful, selfish and arrogant father as mine.” He glanced up at the ceiling as if he was also talking to someone up there before his eyes flicked down back on her. “But enough of me. What about you? I guess you’re the good one among the bad guys,right?”
Open//all
Tumblr media
“Such an excellent question!” Lucifer’s eyes flicked across the room to the person he spoke to as his fingers tapped on the piano lid in agitation. “Am I evil because I was born evil or because my Father told me to be?”
13 notes · View notes
Text
Lucifer looked down at the doll leaning slightly back and his eyes narrowed at her as he tried to determine what kind of ridiculous prank someone was trying to pull on him. He cleared his throat and the look of surprise disappeared from his face as quickly as it came. With today’s technology  talking and walking doll wasn’t anything weird, unusual as a form of communication - yes, weird - no. “And you’re one of those irritating pranksters who try to be funny.” He respond with a smirk looking around the room for the person who might control the doll.
Open//all
Tumblr media
“Such an excellent question!” Lucifer’s eyes flicked across the room to the person he spoke to as his fingers tapped on the piano lid in agitation. “Am I evil because I was born evil or because my Father told me to be?”
13 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
lucifer morningstar + ye olde texpost meme - 5/?
3K notes · View notes
Text
Lucifer let himself get lost in the kiss, though he was still full aware of the hand sliding down his chest. The corners of his mouth raised a bit as well as his eyebrow, but he wasn’t going to stop Marcus, he was curious how far he’d dare to go. By the experiences with his previous lovers Lucifer could say that some people were rather surprisingly unpredictable when being free of restrictions to do whatever the hell they wanted.
He moaned as he felt Marcus’ cock getting harder and thicker in his hand and his own member also began to come alive. He placed his other hand on his lover’s arm, letting his nails gently scrape over defined muscle.
Closed//
77 notes · View notes
Text
Open//all
Tumblr media
“Such an excellent question!” Lucifer’s eyes flicked across the room to the person he spoke to as his fingers tapped on the piano lid in agitation. “Am I evil because I was born evil or because my Father told me to be?”
13 notes · View notes
Text
Off - on Christmas holiday, be back within three weeks.
I may try to post something, but won’t promise anything.
Have a nice holiday everyone!
See ya later. ⃛(❛ั◡˜๑)
0 notes
Text
A small grin making its way across Lucifer’s face. “Good, cause there will be more, I can promise you that...” He tilted his head a bit as he raised a hand to the back of Marcus’ head and gently pressed him closer to him for a long kiss. The warm water cascading over their bodies now, color changed above them from pink to red and Lucifer reached down between Marcus’ legs taking his soft cock into his hand, rubbing it slowly to make it hard again. He moaned between kisses as he pressed his body against the other’s and his free hand wandered up to play with his nipple.
Closed//
77 notes · View notes
Text
fatherxmarcusxkeane
Marcus moved to get up and went to follow Lucifer to the shower. He was sore in places he didn’t even know he could be, but it was the good kind of sore. He footsteps light as he followed
“Most places I go, I am lucky to have a bathroom or even running water” he spoke as he was a sort of nomad, going from place to place and where others needed his services.
“Oh poor man...” Lucifer opened the bathroom door and walked inside. The bathroom was huge with a jacuzzi bathtub big enough for 5 or maybe even 6 people, big mirror above a fancy looking washbasin and the big shower  with built-in bench. Lucifer looked at Marcus smiling as he opened the shower's glass door and stepped in to turn on the water. “I’m gonna spoil you tonight a bit.”
Closed//
77 notes · View notes
Text
“Right...Enjoy.” While you can. Lucifer smiled as he put his feet on the floor and stood up stretching out a little. Usually after sex he just made a simple excuse and made sure his lover just leave as soon as she or he can to avoid further misunderstanding of what-just-happened-here, but Marcus was too cute to make him leave for now. Besides he definitely wanted a round two with him.
“Alright, come then.” He said as he looked back at Marcus. “I hope that a big size shower with color changing showerhead isn’t too fancy for you." He teased before he headed to the bathroom.
Closed//
77 notes · View notes
Text
CHRISTMAS STARTERS
( assorted prompts that are all bedecked with christmas themes. from salty, to ecstatic, to indifferent - feel free to change up the context, pronouns, or words ! )
❛❛ All I want for Christmas is peace & quiet. ❜❜ ❛❛ If mistletoe appears in my one-meter vicinity, I’ll burn it. ❜❜ ❛❛ So - what are you getting me for Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ What do you mean, Santa isn’t real? ❜❜ ❛❛ The only thing I like about Christmas is to get drunk on eggnog & wine, & sulk over my year’s regrets. ❜❜  ❛❛ You always give the best presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me get a picture of this for the memories. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas party at your house! ❜❜ ❛❛ I swear to god, if you give me a ‘dick-in-a-box’ for Christmas again- ❜❜ ❛❛ It’s snowing! ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals fun times. ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals broken bones. ❜❜ ❛❛ Please stop saying ‘Christmas is coming’ in Stark’s voice. ❜❜  ❛❛ Are you really setting traps for Santa — ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Don’t eat the cookies & milk I’m leaving on the table, unless your name is Santa. ❜❜ ❛❛ Ah yes, the age-old tradition of an obese old man dressed in a red suit - breaking into your house. ❜❜ ❛❛ Wanna help with the pudding? ❜❜ ❛❛ Help me decorate the Christmas tree. ❜❜ ❛❛ You’re really - enthusiastic - with the decorations. ❜❜   ❛❛ I knitted a sweater for you. Here, wear it. ❜❜ ❛❛ What did you use to knit the sweater? Two left-hands & parental guidance from a hamster? ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you coming to the Christmas party? ❜❜ ❛❛ How did you get tangled in all these fairy lights – ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me help with the gift-wrapping. ❜❜ ❛❛ Remember when you caught on fire last year? ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh no - no - you stay away from the alcohol. ❜❜ ❛❛ Stop telling me lies about Santa & his tiny elves. ❜❜  ❛❛ Oh shit, I forgot to buy the presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you telling me you don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? ❜❜ ❛❛ Is this what you do every Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ Come on! Live a little - find true love - piss in the snow! It’s Christmas. ❜❜         ❛❛ It may be Christmas, but that’s still illegal. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas is just another day. What’s the big deal? ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas should be six months long - not one. ❜❜     
12K notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media
The Devil’s Bike!
101 notes · View notes