lucky-draws

[lucky-draws]

15.04.24

#journal #YIPPEE! #i did not attend kidz bop never stop tour btw. i just picked up this leaflet a while ago because it was funny and i knew i could use it in a #collage at some point.... #um materials used here are quite varied but to name a few. leaflet advertising shrewsbury festival. comic shop receipt. token card from a #beer festival. packaging from a figure. easter chick from the most essential item an artist can own: crafts beautiful magazine 2003. #the robot doodles are not mine they are from the festival leaflet #im kind of obsessed with qr codes to be honest like they're ugly and vile and too prevalent in our world but also because they're literally #on everything they're a good thing to collect i guess. a reflection of our times

[lucky-draws]

started reading THE SEX MEN recently

#x men #kurt wagner #nightcrawler #uncanny xmen #<- what tags do i even use. i just got here i don't know nothing! #can't believe im reading “marvel comics” but after absorbing it via osmosis from the besties ...well. many such cases

[lucky-draws]

bosselot ranting and raving which genuinely makes no sense and isn't worth reading ↓

something something big boss becoming a lone, paranoid figure who trusts no one because of his series of betrayals i.e. the boss' "defection", les enfants terribles, the boss' (perceived) abandonment of him in her desire for peace, kaz's involvement with cipher etc. something something when you trust no one but yourself maybe you Would have quite a fascination with someone who is your phantom/copy/double/clone/you. unlike les enfants terribles venom is the kind of "clone" that bb can forge a twisted affection for, due to his absolute loyalty and due to his being, well, him. am i about to start "shipping bbvenom" well not really i'm just pondering big boss and also, as usual, pondering my favourite phenomenon of People Who Are Identical But Not Quite. im big boss and so are you. im maria s/ilent hill and so are you. im solid and im liquid we're the stupid brothers. etc

also. sigh. basically im attempting to write a fic (who knows if it will ever see the light of day) where ocelot gives himself big boss' scar. just for fun/because he's insane. 1964: i wanted to eat the same food as him -> 1973ish: i wanted to permanently mark myself with the same scar he gave himself which also happens to be my mother's scar from birthing me etc. #justocelotthings. and big boss goes through 10000 shrimp colour stages of anger/grief/fascination/horny/acceptance in reaction to it.

and i was thinking about post pw incident where bb is beginning his shift into a much darker, closed off figure and he's full of bitterness in the wake of all his chucking-her-bandana-into-the-ocean The Boss Feelings and also his divorce with kaz. and how maybe his feelings towards ocelot (which are as insane as they've ever been due to the recent development of The Scar) are also shifting a little. up until now he's accepted ocelots promises of devotion and loyalty and he's reciprocated ocelot's affection because he does genuinely Like Him Despite Everything and they have had their weird little Thing going on for many years. but now it's like. concepts such as loyalty to the end and unconditional devotion are beginning to lose their credibility; bb questions whether even ocelot might not be his ally forever. and does BB even Want ocelot's loyalty? he's a useful person but BB never ASKED for ocelots loyalty. loyalty, devotion, subservience - these are hollow promises. he likes ocelot when he's a real human and not a soldier. he likes ocelot as his equal. one might even go as far as to say - he likes ocelot best as an extension of himself. he likes ocelot as his mirror. "you're not a snake and im not an ocelot?" wrong. we're both snakes. as you said yourself, ocelot, in a nice little scene in approximately chapter 2 (doesn't exist), now that you've given yourself that scar, "we match". we're nothing but a pair of snakes. we're red string of fate tied to each other more than ever. we're the sons of the boss; we're twin snakes. we're metal gear solid: the twin snakes 2004 developed by konami and silicon knights for the nintendo gamecube. but we're not just two snakes, we're an ourobouros. i don't just want you to pledge your loyalty to "big boss", i want you to be big boss. i want to you to live my dream, not just be an ally to it.

in actual fact maybe he is just in love with ocelot (squee!) but this is big boss we're talking about so. he is literally a weapon he is war itself he's the war machine he's a soulless dead fish of a man. and either destroying or assimilating everything in his path forever is kind of his whole theme. and ocelot as a literal child of the battlefield will never escape it either. so they both just blow up and go to hell forever.

OR DO THEY. maybe bb is actually like wow everyone is betraying me the boss has abandoned me and ive abandoned her except never entirely even if i did throw her bandana into the sea in a moment of rage ive still got this scar on my chest. and so does ocelot because he's insane about me hm to be honest maybe i should just Give Up War and we can both retire and live on a ranch together forever the end.maybe that's actually what happens. life could be dream.

also please god let me find a job soon ive been unemployed for 7 months this is what happens when i don't have a job it gives me the time to think about bosselot until my brain melts and oozes and i start writing very long incomprehensible posts on my art blog at 3pm which does nobody any good. sigh

#ok im going to go do my real life tasks now. phew

[lucky-draws]

hope you enjoy this 5 chapter fic i wrote in my mind whilst rotting in bed at 12pm today. the link is here: www.insideofmyhead.brain. please beam any comments directly to my frontal lobe ^_^

#i hate writing. you have to take the imaginary words from your head and make them be real in some kind of document.sad

[lucky-draws]

the twin snakes

#AUGH!!!! ty for adding this omg;_; #the mgs1 novelisation truly an interesting piece of literature... not good but it gives us gems such as these so ig we salute it

[lucky-draws]

the twin snakes

#metal gear solid #mgs #solid snake #liquid snake #im imagining this as solids pov not long after mgs1 i.e. before all the Liquid Came Back As An Arm happened.. #snavids feelings abt liquid are something ive vaguely wanted to explore properly for a while but seeing the post going around recently #showing snavid having liquids dog tags in mgs2 spurred me to finally do it lol so ty to the op of that post lol

[lucky-draws]

You can donate to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund for as little as $1.00.

There is a fee you can choose to apply to cover processing.

Which if you choose to do leaves you with a total of ~$1.35 (USD) depending on the type of card you have.

PCRF has a score of 97% on Charity Navigator.

Adults and children alike are currently dying in Palestine due to starvation. (World Health Organization Link)

The Gaza Strip is one of two places in the entire world that is categorized as Phase 5 (the highest phase) on the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification scale.

So even if you think it isn't enough, remember that donating even as little as $1.35 helps! It's $1.35 they wouldn't have had otherwise. So donate if you can. 🇵🇸

[lucky-draws]

the shit twins 👍

#metal gear solid #mgs #solid snake #liquid snake #im kind of in a liquid phase rn.... liquid the character that is. i don't mean i am currently in a liquid form #or do i *trickles and seeps* #tbh im going thru a colours phase and specifically a yellow phase at the moment ...... 👍⭐💛☝️✨

[lucky-draws]

I'M YOUR SHADOW!

#mgs #metal gear solid #liquid snake #mgs1 #he's underrated to be honest. literally did nothing wrong and yes he's blonde but thats not his fault. they gave him the inferior #genes after all. #and he's literally a man with long hair so what else do you want #ik its april fools and in the past ive done some silliness like posting ocelhuey or whatever the hell but im not feeling it this year.. #liquid is a fool though so it's stillappropriate #i can't believe im back to mgs posting every other day. nature is healing etc

[lucky-draws]

some snavids and a kaz

#metal gear solid #mgs #solid snake #<- TAG THAT I DON'T USE NEARLY ENOUGH!!!!!! #kazuhira miller #things i have used my colourful revision cards for: mgs art #things i have not yet used them for: revision #im cooking up a few things rn......i have a liquid n solid Words And Images post brewing as well as my b/osselot fic #which i thought i was almost finished with but then i decided to expand it a bit more ... #so i have to spend a bit more time on it

[lucky-draws]

lots of him

#metal gear solid #mgs #revolver ocelot #a page of ocies is good for the soul. #btw in the little ocie thumbs up ive put the hand the wrong way round IGNORE THAT!

[lucky-draws]

-

#mgs #metal gear solid #revolver ocelot #big boss #bosselot #wooahHOOOHHHHOOOHHHOOHH #this is .fine. and a good exercise in watercolours because i do not use them at all these days.but maybe i will get back into them #ive been listening to sins of the father a lot lately.i kind of slept on it before #ive not done bbs head proportions very well but its an Attempt at a sideish/3/4 angle and well thats more than can usually be said for me. #im the fraudulent fool who can only draw front facing faces.sad #this sketchbook paper is not great for watercolours ..i also need to invest in more brushes mine are all old and poopyyy

[lucky-draws]

how much can one take canonical liberties...... like pretending that big boss' pw scar is permanent is no big deal to me ive fully accepted that into my belief system like a lot of ppl have.....but what if i also changed exactly WHEN he got that scar. im doing a fic sort of based around the scar and i want it to be something that he gave himself sort of pre peace walker. partly because writing fics as taking place during pw events just complicates things but also because i want the scar to be something he's had for a while like its become more of a defining feature of his appearance. so like maybe he gave himself it in 71-72? the initial reason or perhaps excuse for doing it i.e. to conceal a blade/wire for whatever mission can still be there but it would just be a case of like, he made it permanent or whatever.

#SUDDEN THOUGHT ok him giving himself the boss' c section scar takes on an extra level of (!) when you consider les enfants terribles....... #it could sort of reflect the forceful way his own “sons” were born........idk.......idk? #anyway. well i think its probably fine to play around with canon like this i dont think it's too huge a change to say that he got the scar a #couple of years earlier #btw as of today the bosselot fic this relates to has progressed past incoherent notes and into some actual paragraphs. yippee! #will probably take me ages to actually finish it though im kind of rusty when it comes to writing

[lucky-draws]

more dante images

#devil may cry #dmc #dante dmc #dmc1 #the sketches on the first page are all unrelated from each other but it kind of looks like dmc1 dante is remembering all his dmc3 annoyance #(jester and vergil) and sulking and glowering about it #second page well idk...i just wanted to draw cathedral windows to be honest

[lucky-draws]

hamburger dipshit

#metal gear solid #mgs #kazuhira miller #im too tired to say anything intelligent interesting funny or relevant either in regards to this piece or otherwise. its simplykaz image 👍

[lucky-draws]

i thought tumblr was being a massive peepeehead and not showing my post in the tags when in actual fact they were just trying to alert me to the fact that i hadn't fully cropped out my finger holding down the page to take the photo. thank you kind and beautiful website for preventing me from posting such a thing

#i love that this kind of issue happens every now and then for no discernable reason #strange strange website #maybe ill just wait til tomorrow....

[lucky-draws]

1am the night before an early lecture is the perfect time to spontaneously crank out a 900 word draft of a s/olimiller fic.

#i literally have not been thinking about them at all i currently have a b/osselot fic on the go which im proceeding with rather laboriously #but woe s/olimiller be upon me i guess #i spent most of today drawing actually and now because i couldn't sleep i ended up writing.... unprecedented levels of “output” not seen #since many moons ago