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I woke up to this thought? And it made me smile~

Wrong way Au?

It's EASY to fly from point A to point B. Linear. Just on long, no traffic, straight line. And if you get lost? Go higher! There you are! But "normal" reporter families with Totally Human genetics can't exactly DO that.

Plus? It's part of the whole Americana thing!

Childhood.

Gotta do a road trip, see weird road side attractions, camp and hike a bit. Go somewhere other then the farm for once. Soooo~ everyone into the car! Yes, you too, Kon.

And don't look at Lois, kids. She hates this idea as much as you do. But it's for Dad. So we're doing it. Get in the car. Some times loving people means "suuuure, honey! I TOTALLY want to sit in an uncomfortable car for hours for your nostalgic dream trip!", so get comfy.

Problem is? He either can't navigate for SHIT (unlikely) or this patch of nowhere? Possibly haunted? Cursed? Fuckey. Very, very Reality Fuckey. Far more likely, honestly. They THINK that was the a same barn the passed four times now... but it looks... wrong? Off. Worse each time, in ways that are hard to place.

Where the FUCK are they Clark?

According to the GPS?

Here.

(You are Here. You are Here. You are He-)

Oh, THAT'S not cursed! She fucking KNEW they shouldn't have left the city. FUCK the countryside. She likes ONE(1) small town and it's where her in-laws live, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! If they die, she swear to GOD-!!!

Then Jon points to colorful tents up the road. A mix of the kind you buy at big box stores and Ren fairs. Balloons. What the fuuuuuck? "Fenton Family Reunion"?

Was... was that THERE a second ago?

Clark's very deliberate Not Too Tight Grip Of Panic ™ on the steering wheel? Confirms that No Honey, it was not. Kon points out? That eventually they ARE going to run out of gas. They should stop.

Words can not express how little the Kents want to do that. They have KIDS to protect. This feels "magical fuckery" to them. AKA? One of the few things Kryptonians very much CAN NOT handle.

And luck getting ahold of anybody back there kids? No? Emergency lines too?

Fuck ™.

Okay! Guess we're stopping! Stay behind us.

They park.

There are campers and trucks, modified tanks and trackers. A few horses grazing side by side with an honest to God moose and two mules. A Llama. Someone's anchored a dirigible. A boat with spindly chicken footed legs, like it's the house of baba yaga's sea faring love child. The name Fenton is slapped on everything. Peoples faces.

Grinning.

Everything grinning.

As they get closer, the racket gets louder. Crashes and smashes. Roaring laughter. Explosions. The screech of metal failing and the whine of energy overclocked. Fatty meats cooking. Spices from around the globe. Radios and instruments, at least one of which violently cuts off in a smash.

They pass an almost violently balloon choked arch, into chaos.

Grinning giants, everywhere. Every color, every shade, every race imaginable. The spectrum of humanity laid bare. Made large. Grinning, Grinning, Grinning. Crashing into each other, against, through. Smashing and laughing, as everything breaks around them. Titans.

Darting underfoot, children. Fast with wild eyes. Mad grins and fae laughs. Wives and husband's, partners and friends, dancing in and out of the chaos. Just as destructive. Perhaps MORE so. Grabbing meals from grills, laughing and joking, tossing children into the fray, all as they effortless hold conversations of their own.

Like a Dionysian revelry, all madness and joy.

Then they are noticed.

"Cousin!"

One of them booms. Locking eyes on Clark. He doesn't even have time to move, doesn't realize until too late, in all the chaos, that the man meant HIM. A running start is followed by a brutal, full body, flying tackle. Clark is taken skidding to the ground and into a headlock.

"LETS WRASTLE~!!"

He watches in helpless confusion as, with high-pitched war cries, a pair of twins jump Jon. They are wearing war paint. Krypto already taken out by a glowing green dog, now confused and wrestling off to the side. Lois has whipped out her tazer. Kon between her and who ever comes next.

By the time he wrestle his "cousin" off of him, he's lost sight of them both.

Dives into the fray.

Magic be damned, that's his FAMILY!

It... It's the most fun he's had in years. That any of them have. He finds Lois in a breathless, screaming, debate/fistfight with her new best friend. Samantha "call me Sam Or ELSE" Manson-Fouley-Fenton. Kon is in the mud pit, wrestling other teenagers in some sort of battle Royale. Jon? Has become king of the ferals. The other parents are impressed.

His years of Damian wrangling finally paying dividends, apparently.

By the time Clark FINALLY tracks down Krypto, there is already crowd and it apparently six heel turns deep into the WWE Grand Saga of the Fenton Pet's League. Krypto, what the hell. No. No you may NOT "form one last alliance against my sworn wrestling enemy, to prove the true meaning of Christmas!" It's the middle of SUMMER!

Clark... Clark is so tired.

He's also a Fenton now. Yes, he KNOWS that's not how anything works. YOU try explaining that! He's on the call list and card list. It's like the Addams family out here! They just... just DECIDED him and his family were related! They've apparently DONE THAT BEFORE!

They leave with directions, fudge, more leftovers then anyone could possibly eat, and a massive new extended family. One that honestly? The Justice League SHOULD have known about. The sheer destructive chaos they get up too? EVERYONE should be aware of them. It seems impossible NOT to be! But? According to THEM, it's a "family thing". Reality tries to ignore them for "it's own sanity"? What???

So yeah.... no more road trips.

How was YOUR weekend?

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

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Okay but I just? Made myself snort?

Imagine~☆ Grandma Fenton. Young, hot, built like a tank.

She meets a SUAVE and well muscled man of mystery. With a CAPE! Fabulous facial hair. There are ninjas. She was hunting the Supernatural. Very, very badly.

But still! That Fenton STRENGTH. That smile! That "just back handed an assassin through a wall"! Mystery man is... intrigued ™.

They do unspeakable things to each other hot young nuible bodies against every surface they can find. There are explosions and sword fights. She has a BLAST! It was a great trip.

Prooooobably should have gotten more then his name though!

Maybe used protection!

WHOOPS ™!

Ah well, she always DID want kids! A jack is a wonderful kiddo! Strong as an ox! Bit obsessive, but what Fenton ISNT?

She goes about her merry way. Things to do! Monsters to HUNT! Crocodiles to WRESTLE! Feeling like... she's... forgetting? Something? But what could it BE?

It's only after YEARS, as she's retired, down a leg (damn Sasquatch) and two fingers, that she squints at some hoity toity shin-dig on the TV... and... huh.....

You know? That lil Wayne kid reminds her of someone. It's... it's on the tip of her to- OH FUCK! *slams down the morning paper* she forgot to tell her sprogs DAD!

Shit! He didn't know he got her preggers!!!

Which? Is how Ra's AL Ghul? Get a VERY sheepish call from that lion of a woman he had... relations *unholy smirk that makes SO MANY people around him uncomfortable* with, informing him? He not ONLY has a son.

But a grandson and granddaughter.

Neither fit to inherent, obviously. But his blood has run true. His son married the most powerful woman he could locate. Because studying the borders between life and death. And can snap lesser men in half like a twig. Grandchildren? Much of the same.

So obviously, he shall become... Supportive. A loving grandfather.

Why? Because he has no standards for them! They are but a pleasant suprise. The bloodline MIGHT be useful. Eventually. But for now? Charm champaign.

EVERYBODY loves Grandpapa Ra's, after all. :)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @lolottes @dcxdpdabbles @the-witchhunter

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DpxDC #14

Idea that Tim is The Reincarnation of Danny but Ras is The Reincarnation of Vlad. I think that Vlad would get his Memories Back when Danny is born. it'd be really funny for him just to devolve into a comically evil supervillain when everyone's like he is a deadly danger and he's just laughing as he realized that his Nemesis has been born.

 I think Danny wouldn't get their memories back until a little bit after they've been Robin. It's their first near death experience and then they're like God damn it, can I never not be a vigilante. 

While Danny's on a mission in his early days as robin. he run into the league of assassins and end up getting kidnapped. I just want Vlad to try and intimidate this new Robin while Danny just locks eyes with him and knows. Danny will be like, you are no longer a threat to me. 

 Danny uses the Lazarus pit to talk to Clockwork to get Bruce back but as far as anyone is concerned he just went to the League of Assassins. It's also really funny if no one notices that they have this rivalry until after Bruce's back. like in Cannon where Ras wants him to be his heir but instead it's just Danny and Vlad who have way too much history not to throw down the second day they see each other. Everyone expects swords and verbal sparring when in reality they see each other and instantly fist fight.

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Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

#Need

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Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

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The Green Lanterns have found an anomaly in space uncomfortably close to Earth. A floating green wormhole, that does not follow the rules that wormholes are supposed to follow.

In fact, it seems to be fine to get close to. It does not distort any time or space near it; it's literally like someone had just poked a hole through the universe, and they can just step into it.

They opt to use an exploratory space shuttle.

Naturally, certain Earth Leaders want to send representatives to go up in that shuttle.

Green Lantern Corp tries to push back, they really do, but humans are stubborn.

They get their exploratory astronauts.

Hal Jordan manages to get chosen for America; his experience in the military and having Batman pull the strings was a huge part of that.

The first hint that something was wrong was when they went through the portal and it was just a sea of green full of doors.

Second was when it looks like they would hit something, they just went through it.

Third was that the portal closed behind them.

Fourth, there's...something circling their craft, tapping on the walls and doors. It talks to them in the voice of a young boy, and keeps asking to be let in.

Or; Danny found a weird ship in the Zone, and he doesn't want to be rude and just barge in since it isn't one of his parents.

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DC X DP PROMPT #11

Under some erroneous conditions, Vlad has become a contractor for the Justice League. It would be fine if Vlad Masters was the JL contact, but no, Plasmius has landed the gig. Somehow the vampire supervillain look didn't throw them off (he swears he never had to overshadow anyone, either)

This is not the main issue as of, though. The main issue is Danny. Not that Danny is ever really an issue, it's more of what happeneds to Danny that's a problem. Well - Dannys.

The three of them were out, minding their own business when some stray defecto GiW agents came out of nowhere. This was no longer supposed to be an issue. With Vlad having connections to the JL the GiW had been officially disbanded and their actions made illegal. This obviously did not stop some of the organization's former members.

Anyway, the Dannys were out bonding, typical sibling activities (no Dan, arson does not count. Yes, we can brawl though) when some rogue GiW agents fresh out of government-backed work caught them in the unawares. This would normally be a nonissue but these particular agents had managed to get their hands on some thought to be destroyed Fenton prototypes.

These agents had managed to capture the trio. Now, they had only held the Danny's for less than a day, but give an inch take a mile. Jack and Maddie had busted into the hodgepodge setup, guns blazing, Vlad not far behind. The damage was already done though. Jordan and Danielle were mostly just banged up, a little worse for wear, but no one was melting. It was Danny that was having issues.

Danny seemed to be the major target of the former agents ire. They had managed to get to his core. This damage wasn't irreversible, from what Frostbite had told them, but it was detrimental to the young ghost. He was still developing, this was simply not good for the Great One's health!

Through careful consideration, it was decided that in order to heal from this, Danny would be better off retreating into his core for this. He had already started the process of doing so in the short time they had been in the Far Frozen. Normally, when one of the Dannys would retreat into their core they would be placed under careful watch by the family, but with Danny's core being damaged the call was made that he would need to be carried.

Nearly everyone had volunteered to do such, all were turned down for various reasons. Jordan and Danielle were still injured (and Dani still had a perpetuity to melt at times). Jack and Maddie were denied on the fact that having a leaking source of ectoplasm would be a detrament to their own health, regardless of how liminal they were from years of constant exposure. In the end, the job fell on Vlad. No one was really thrilled with this (besides the man himself) but Frostbite insisted he would be the best fit for the situation. His human side would nourish Danny's and his ghost half would supply him with ample Ecto for proper healing.

Vlad was ecstatic, especially to tell the League that he would be taking maternity leave.

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Danny, in his forties, knows he passes for two people; Bruce Wayne and some randomass reporter named Clark Kent. Which is great, because he's about to defend Bruce Wayne's son, and it'd be weird if the press thought he was just some rando.

Danny didn't want to know who the fuck Bruce Wayne was, but Sam's parents would not shut up about the guy as Danny was growing up.

So, yeah; he can recognize Bruce Wayne on site. And his children.

Not because he stalked them! It was all Sam's fault, her and her parents! Her for complaining about the Waynes, and her parents for idolizing them!

Anyways, he's pretty sure he just saw some chick drug Dick Grayson's quadruple sugar caramel frappe, and Dick drank it.

Danny doesn't really think? He kind of just moves.

Dick Grayson barely gets out a "Uh, hey-?" before Danny decks the bitch in the face hard enough to throw the woman back five feet.

She's definitely going to need a hospital.

Danny doesn't give a fuck.

Danny gives so little fucks that he just puts a very carefully gentle hand on Dick Grayson's shoulder and steers him away from the scene.

"She roofied your drink. I'm taking you to the hospital."

Or; Dick was going to allow a Trafficker to drug him, so that he could play bait. The trackers he'd swallowed would absolutely lead Jason to where he was taken, as Jason was working with him on this, but didn't meet the traffickers "type". He didn't tell Bruce he was going to do this. So when the Rohypnol starts to kick in, he's absolutely sure he sees Bruce come in out of nowhere and wreck the Trafficker's shit. The randos filming the incident think they just saw someone's dad almost murder a bitch, and then heard said dad mention roofies. When the videos are posted online, and the dad is "identified" as Bruce Wayne, Bruce has three things happen. First; he's getting a lawsuit from the woman. Second; he's also getting notified through this that he has a doppleganger or clone. He will need to investigate, as he needs to thank the man. Third; his image has become pristine in the eyes of Gotham, and has also become yet another wholesome meme.

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ok y'all hear me out just a second

what if Danny does the gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep thing into getting into the JL.

Like one day he starts going to meeting and adding himself to mission plans, and whenever someone slightly mentions it being weird he just responds something akin to 'Omg just because i'm a ghost doesn't mean you don't see me and forget about me. Honestly Im so hurt. And to think I was planning tour birthday party' and he just up plays up the dramatics putting his hand to his chest to faint hurt.

And it's not until YEARS later when Danny has seamlessly integrated himself into the JL that someone (could be Red Robin ) decides he wants to learn more about him and does a deep dive.

And Danny corners him one day and tells them "I invited myself in, I was never invited into the JL"

And the other person was like "why are you telling me this"

And Danny just says "cause no one will ever believe you" walking backwards and doing the horrible doll eye stare.

Ps: Batman, SM and WW, already knew about it. I mean lets face it Batman would know instantly when someone unauthorized entered their premise. At first they thought it was a villain of some kind trying to infiltrate the JL. but after observation they just realized it was a very overworked teen that just needed help and support. That doesn't mean he wasn't under A LOT of surveillance.

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Dp x DC Jack is single AU

I just want you to imagine a reveal where Jack takes it well and Maddie doesn’t, resulting in a divorce and Jack getting custody

Then the kids grow up. A couple years pass, Jazz visits on holidays, calls once a week to check in, Danny just went off to college

So what we have is Jack Fenton, divorced empty nester now with way to much time on his hands

So he starts going out to meet people

The problem? He ends up in a rogues bar in Gotham and is oblivious to the fact he’s meeting/flirting with supervillains

And Jack is happy as a clam! He’s meeting all these interesting people with PhDs! He has a PhD!

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Omg its a shotgun wedding

#huskerdust #hazbin hotel

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Au where Jason Todd is sacrificed to King of the infinite realms and upon realizing Danny isnt actually interested in human sacrifice nonsense immediately shoots his shot

Like this man has been reading romance novels for as long as he can remember and he absolutely refuses to let this set up go to waste. He has a strange new world, a kind but powerful king, a castle, and big ass fucking library right there.

Too bad his family didn’t get the memo and reverse summoned him back too early.

———

Jason: *finally seduced Danny and is about to initiate the frantic sex after weeks of pining portion of the plot*

Jason: *is summoned back*

Jason: *has hickies all over his neck, claw marks down his back, unzipped pants, and no belt*

Jason: …

Jason: I hate all of you. You cockblocking motherfuckers. I was so close! I had him right there! I could have been his husband. HUSBAND!!!!!

Bruce:

Tim:

Dick: …looks like you’ve been having a better few weeks than we were.

Damian: Father, I believe this is sufficient proof for removing him from the family.

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You think the Chimpanzee from Dark LOVES Amity shops?

Like? Think about it...

How many places do you know, near where YOU LIVE, aren't gonna Be Weird About taking a sentient chimpanzee's legal tender. Selling him goods and services. Without, you know, doing the whole "is this a wild animal or a sentient Chimpanzee Detective person" Every Single Fucking Time, dispite him very CLEARLY wearing a suit.

Not treat him like a side show to be ogled at. Baby talked down too.

Treated as Less Then.

How many shops? Because yeah, he can buy things online. Ship them to drop points. Yes, he has a paying job. Legal rights he fought very, VERY hard for. And yeah, those rights are tenuous. Only as real as the willingness of those humans willing to enforce them. But? Money isn't worth much, with no where to spend it.

He's a grown fucking Chimpanzee for God's sake! It's frustrating and embarrassing having to ask his colleagues, to buy his groceries and other such goods, FOR him.

Then? He finds a preportedly "Meta Friendly" shop in the town he's currently working a case in? That reviews say is VERY good.

He'll be the judge of that.

After all, they all say that. Until a chimpanzee walks into their shop.

Only? Beyond the cashier's confused blinking? Nothing. They make what they CLEARLY think is a "discreet" call, the owner pops their head out from the back, look at him briefly, then merely nods. Says something into the phone that seems to clear everything up.

Not once his he bothered, as he peruses the shelves.

He even finds some tea he'd been having trouble locating and a lovely local bread that looks promising. Bobo? Has a new favorite grocery store. To hell that he must take the zeta tubes to get there. Worth it.

And that's BEFORE he learns, through a bit of artful small talk. That there is both a FULL TOWN like this AND a full network of shops/services he can locate through an app.

When they say Everyone Welcome, they truely do mean it.

He's brought swamp thing, shown up covered in blood, swung by with a literal angel for bandages and some water too make holy. Not so much as a blink. Seen Constantine staring blankly at the vodkas, like they offer salvation. The stockers step gently around. Morningstar? Not sure what he was BUYING, but Bobo watched him pay in a solid gold brick and leave with the basket.

He reported that one.

Still. It's? The most... normal, he's ever felt.

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @hypewinter @hypewinter @dcxdpdabbles

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This may be a crack-y ship but I want your opinions on it-

Cryptid!Batman x John Constantine

Whether or not Bruce is an actual cryptid or just pretending to be one is up to you (tho I’m sure you know my opinion on him being an actual cryptid well enough by now, lmao)

Let me tell you, it really isn't. Despite fandom's jokes that they don't get along, most of the comics where it's just them they're both practically cracking sex jokes and jabs at each other. Like would not be surprised if they had a one-night stand. Or several.

But that wasn't your question, and I had to take a moment because I got this at 4am and couldn't sleep because of all the Ideas lol.

SO. Let's start with the cryptid bit.

You know what I could see? Human Bruce slowly turning into a cryptid, either tulpa-style or via Gotham itself or even both. Actually yeah, probably both.

And look, it was small enough in the beginning that he didn't notice, not really, but the moment it starts to effect his ward? His children? (Even if he's had them for less than a year they're still his kids)

That's when he freaks out and decides they need information, that they need help. (Even if it can't be fixed, he just wants to make sure they're safe, that this won't hurt them more than they have already)

This is how he ends up running into Constantine. An asshole to be sure, with a scathing tongue even with the scent of alcohol practically burning around him, but also canonically has a soft spot for kids.

And look, he's an asshole, but he can also sympathize with this being who is like, he wants to say half-human at this point, who probably wasn't aware. And like, this doesn't look like a curse per se, but some sort of twisted blessing. Sort of like fae gifts. Useful? Oh yes. Something you'd really want for a person? Definitely not.

Now I can't exactly say how their relationship goes, how it starts, but they at least stay in contact. Maybe had a one-night stand, maybe even had a softer moment or two, but they're both busy people.

And John might have some worry about the whole curse of anyone he's close to risking dying or something worse happening. Even if they now know Gotham would Not allow that. Oh yeah, he met another City spirit, Joy. This one is way more aggressive than Angela though and is definitely Gotham. Like it's Gotham, that's enough said. But hey, communication established or whatever, he's just gonna... get a drink, take a nap, y'know?

Now they both aren't entirely sure how it happened but somehow John has a standing offer to come by the manor at some point, and somehow the kids like him. No he doesn't know how that happened either.

I wouldn't say their relationship is anything near official, or even properly labeled. They're both not the best at communicating, y'know?

As John would say, he's an asshole who can't go five minutes without some sort of scathing insult. And Bruce very much acknowledges that words? Too hard.

But they both somehow have the same affection style, in the fact that they show their love through actions. Gifts and silent help without any sort of acknowledgement that they were behind said assistance.

Looking in from the outside, their relationship shouldn't work, it shouldn't, but it does. And hey, mostly-immortal partners they don't have to worry about dying? Honestly they can't exactly complain. (Also we all know Constantine has not-so human tastes & Bruce has a habit of partners that either make him better or so so much worse)

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DPxDC Prompt

The Justice League finds themselves summoned to a war torn version of the Earth they know, the people who summoned them scan them with glowing green devices before decided they are trust worthy and begging them to help save their world.

The Earth has been overrun with interdimensional invaders called ghosts and despite their best efforts they cannot fight them off, they are just too many of them. The JL sees the destroyed landscape around them, the glowing green armies waiting beyond the shield around them and agree to help.

They slowly but surely turn the tide, learning how to utilize the tech provided to them in fighting off the invaders and capturing them within containment devices. As time goes on the invading forces change tactics again and again, but without fail the JL adapt as well to prevent the armies from causing anymore damage.

But they start noticing some concerning details…

The invading armies don't seem to have the fire power to cause the damage the JL sees around the country, the invading armies continue to ignore civilians in favor of going after anyone with a glowing green weapon and there is a fear on the faces of the invaders as they beg for mercy before they are captured…

They find out they were on the wrong side from the start when they gain the trust of those in charge of fighting off the invaders.

They are brought in to refuel their weapons after strenuous use when they find out the truth, they witness the human tear what seems to be the aliens version of a heart in the form of a crystal orb to replace the cracked orbs that fueled their weapons. They looks on horrified as they realize the very blood and hearts of these creatures are what these people use as weapons and fuel.

They had already thinned out the aliens forces and handed who knows how many captured entities to their deaths.

It really sets in when as a last resort the aliens king comes to the front lines, desperate yet determined. But that isn't the worst part, the JL have gotten so used to the glowing green faceless skeletons that the kings face chills them to the core.

Because standing among the skeletons is a small injured child with a crown far too big for their own head.

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Ooooh~ Drink mix up? >.>

Because! Wes DID, in fact, get that dream job. HAS learned... after many, many hours of "beat about the head and shoulders with an ethics pamphlet by his great aunt", to keep his mouth shut! Family curse of Sight? WHAT family curse?

He doesn't see shit! Mind your business.

What're you? A cop?

Look, he sent Fenton a gift basket. He was a shitty, shitty "I have to be RIGHT and nothing else matters!" Stubborn lil asshole of a kid. He got better. Grew up. No one is there best Self during puberty. He DOES, in fact, regret it.

Which is WHY, he is deliberately ignoring Kent's terrible, awful, paper-thin, "who meee~?" Aw shucks BULLSHIT excuse of a disguise, like it isn't blatantly obvious he's Superman. Yep. Nothing to see here! Nothing but us chickens! Mmmmm, morning coffee! Delicious.

But see, here's the THING.

The Itty, bitty, teeny lil PROBLEM...

Wes grew up in Amity "Totally Not Supernatural Hotspot For Centuries" Park. He is... to put it mildly, genetically? A freak. His biology is ALL fucked up. Everyone's is. And it WAS NOT made better by the Fenton's playing fast and loose with their hell basement. The Ectoplasmic NUKE that was that portal.

There is a REASON his morning coffee? Is COVERED. Contained. Fenton brand, LEAD LINED, specialty cups. The sort that can't be EATEN from the inside out. Eroded after a few uses. They're ugly as sin, but they work. He even ordered a few covers from Star's etsy shop. (Apparently he wasn't the only one who hated how ugly they looked. Good for her though, he heard it was doing well.)

He SAYS this? 'Cause his morning brew is less... straight COFFEE... and more... how to put this? A blend? Brew? Potion, really. Like an energy drink. From hell. Or, partially at least, the Zone. It's the combination of roots, seeds, and a few dried berries. Kinda like a tea, actually!

Tasty. Adds this nice fruity, warmth. A zing. Goes GREAT with the coffee. And it really perks you up... if you are Limnal. If you AREN'T? It'll desolve your esophagus like swallowing straight acid. And that's not TOUCHING the... witch-y, more Seer specific bit of the blend.

That stuff is medicinal. You know, "calm the mind" and "mental clarity". That sorta thing. With a good ol helping of "don't blurt out everyone's secrets, you spacey bitch! For the love of God, those are our INSIDE THOUGHTS!". Which? Really helpful! Infinitely less likely to get decked. It's a family staple.

Poisonous, though.

They're fine cause they've basically developed an immunity to that part, but like? Wouldn't recommend. It's why he NEVER shares his drinks. Food? On occasion. If he PLANS it and knows not to add and interesting spices. But DRINKS? Never. Weston family brews are basically NEVER safe.

Which? Begs the Very Important Question ™!

Who's Coffee Is This?

Cause it SURE AS FUCK AINT HIS!

You never realize quite how fast you can go from "completely calm and kinda sleepy" to "bomb strapped to my chest, primal panic AWAKE" until it happens to you. His coffee was ON HIS DESK. People have passed by. He talked to them. Cups put down and picked up. Lazy early morning. He doesn't even register, really, as his chair crashes to the ground.

He's shouting.

People confused. They don't realize yet. His head whips around, looking for that distinct cover. Before it's too late. Before someone takes that fatal sip. He spots it. Bolting from his desk. Crashing through coworkers, over desks. Chaos and outrage. "It's 'just' coffee!" They cry.

Kent turns, confused. Pretending. Raises his (HIS! Oh god!) cup to his lips, unknowing. Wes SCREAMS a warning. But he doesn't listen. "It's 'just' coffee" They never listen. Curse of Cassandra. God's damn it. This is why his family fucking CONVERTED!

He TACKLES the man of steel.

RIPS his cup away from him, knows his eyes are frantic. How much have you had?! Spit it out! Wes voice ECHOES in the sudden silence. I'm a META, Kent! It could KILL YOU!

And oh, Oh NOW they get it. Or perhaps it is the burn in his mouth that finally registers. He rolls, spits oil slick nebulae that eat away the floor. There is blood mixed within it. It took mere moments. Superman stares, transfixed and horrified, as Wes shakes. He... he should probably get off of him.

He'll move in a moment.

When his legs no longer feel weak from terror.

The news room is in chaos. Lane kneeling by her husband, Perry trying to do damage control. He... he's probably gonna lose his job, isn't he? Wes wants to cry. Protection laws only go so far, after all. And warning his boss about his dietary needs means jack shit, after an incident like this. Beloved as Kent is. Not that anyone likely believed him.

They never do.

And now he's nearly killed Superman.

@hypewinter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @lolottes @babbling-babull @mutable-manifestation @dcxdpdabbles