lufronus

[lufronus]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

[lufronus]

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

[lufronus]

when will i be enough?

[lufronus]

You think YOU’RE tired of my BPD?

Guess what, so am I.

At least you’re not stuck with this shit 24/7

[lufronus]

how could you love me? i don't even know who i am.

[lufronus]

please someone just tell me i will be alright one day. i see no future for myself for now

[lufronus]

bpd&adhd culture is always feeling like you’re either too much or not enough so you do everything to not feel like it and you end up balancing between obsessive and not giving a fuck

[lufronus]

Do you ever feel absent but like from your own life????? Like it feels like every day is here, and you’re fucking missing it.

[lufronus]

can i just be a good person for once? why do i keep messing up?

[lufronus]

I’m sorry for all the times my mental health made me a bad friend

[lufronus]

sorry i overreacted i had no idea everything would be fine

[lufronus]

I feel like a bad partner because of my bpd. My episodes are exhausting. I'm exhausting. I can't help I'm broken, but I can help my behavior. I'm so sorry. I know I apologize too much. I'm sorry you have to walk on eggshells. I feel guilt, knowing that a different partner could be easier for you. I feel guilt knowing practically no one will put up with me. Why do you?

[lufronus]

maybe I simply am cursed. Cursed to always hurt those around me, destined to disappoint them by not being enough, not being what they'd hoped I'd be...

#mental instability #mental illness #night thoughts #random thoughts #sad thoughts #depression #bpd feels #bpd #self hatred #anxiety #disappointment #i dont wanna be me

[lufronus]

I’m just constantly trying to clean up this mess that is my mind and life even though I’m so tired

[lufronus]

i cant stand it anymore i don’t want this brain i dont want this life i want to live but not like this not with those constant feelings and thoughts and self destructive behaviors and all of that i cant do it anymore i cant

[lufronus]

I must ruin myself because I do not deserve to be happy.

I must be destroyed before someone destroys me

[lufronus]

i just wanna walk. and walk and walk and walk until i find somewhere i belong