luisjuanmilton

[luisjuanmilton]

Friendship fc did it again

#never in doubt (it was very much in doubt) #<- plssssss yeah #real madrid

[luisjuanmilton]

friday - saturday - sunday🤯

#he’s our son now

[luisjuanmilton]

OLLIE BEARMAN | Post-quali Jeddah GP 2024

#a whole child #he should be at his local high school #ollie bearman

[luisjuanmilton]

f1 + txt posts = true 5.0

[luisjuanmilton]

murder in the first degree LEWIS!!!

#he’ll be in a silly goofy mood all season #lewis hamilton

[luisjuanmilton]

holy.

Photo by Peter Fox

#yes exactly #lewis hamilton

[luisjuanmilton]

manifesting chaos in the 2024 f1 season

nico hulkenberg finally slays his white whale and drags the haas flintstones car onto the podium only for the car to be disqualified for a technical breach

in the spirit of their ancestors alpine attemps crashgate 2.0 only they’re so shit they fail even at that. everyone knows what they tried to do but because they failed the fia turns a blind eye out of pity

jenson button misses a dose of xanax before presenting alongside danica patrick and finally tells her to shut up on live television

lando finally wins a race and is so delighted that he won’t let go of his trophy, even to attend the traditional english stag do of some rich dickhead he went to school with. lando passes out three sambucas into the night at which point his trophy is stolen and all of his facial hair (including eyebrows) is shaved off. the fia charges him for the replacement

king charles dies just before silverstone and george drives his car directly into the barriers out of respect

sharl breaks up with whatever brunette clone he’s dating in order to focus more on racing. two weeks later he releases a classical piano track about heartbreak and longing and confirms that it’s about the sf-24. three days after that he confirms his relationship with a woman who is practically identical to the previous girlfriend (possibly her sister, possibly just a clone)

john elkann goes full fatal attraction on lewis and shows up in his house in a silk robe, with a trail of rose petals that he’s had ethically dyed purple just for lewis

babygate hits f1 again as carlos is rumoured to be expecting another baby. he insists that it is not him as he is still a virgin

fernando alonso announces that he has found religion. three months later he submits planning permission to add a sculpture to the outside of oviedo’s cathedral of the holy saviour which is in turn renamed the cathedral of the holy saviour, san fernando

a williams sponsor pulls out so to make up the shortfall james vowles voices the audiobooks of several erotic novels

#this all seems very plausible to me

[luisjuanmilton]

testing is like the premium exclusive version of friday practice: long hours of vroom vrooming, minimal, practically non-existent stress levels and the not-so-gentle humming of f1 engines providing the most soothing of background noises; occasionally a commentator will say something completely out-of-pocket, a gearbox might fail but it’s ‘still testing’ so of course there’s nothing to worry meanwhile that triple-purple glory lap your fav just did is a perfect indication of the car’s potential

[luisjuanmilton]

sports is really like is this 16 year old we abducted from his schooling the next coming of christ

[luisjuanmilton]

"Hamilton had had a word."

- Rebecca Clancy, motorsport writer

#this is so hot

[luisjuanmilton]

torger publicly going through the five stages of grief while lewis is out there posting himself in lego fortnite on his ig stories and his naked back still i rise tattoo front and centre all peace and love to y’all on main is objectively hilarious

[luisjuanmilton]

thinking about heikki and valtteri and the faith they have in lewis to do anything he puts his mind to

#lewis hamilton and his power to enchant little blonde finnish men

[luisjuanmilton]

hearing from all of my friends that went to the williams launch yesterday that logan began like EVERY interaction with “hi im logan whats your name” and sticking his hand out to shake in addition to telling them “oh my god no it’s okay don’t be nervous” has me DEAD

#okay mr bald eagle #i see you

[luisjuanmilton]

pierre knew lewis was talking to ferrari 😭 charles this is worse than when u openly told him ur strategy for a race

#‘and plays computer games with Hamilton’ 😭😭😭😭 #pierre gasly

[luisjuanmilton]

I love that Pierre never misses a shot to call Lewis the GOAT. Doesn't matter what the question is Lewis is being praised

king of ensuring lewis is given credit even when the question wasn't really about that

#mr pg annoys me sometimes but he’ll always be a real one

[luisjuanmilton]

the head company red bull themselves are the ones who personally started this investigation, the victim has clear evidence, and reporters say horner has already been advised to resign. this is not speculation, and anyone who is making a matter as serious as this into a chance to play which TP is more morally sound needs to reevaluate their own morality. anyone who is remaining quiet about it so as to keep supporting rbr as an f1 team needs to reevaluate their own morality.

[luisjuanmilton]

i hope everything gets easier soon. or at least funnier. amen