lullabiesandgoodbyes

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I'm officially employed again. My regular job, the usual headaches, a different pacing and fully new expectations. I will not go through that shit from before, that's part of the past. Here's to new beginnings and for better things to come. There's always a window somewhere. 🥂🤗

#Personal

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#The way I laughed #🤣🤣🤣 #This is me

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I love the Jersey Devil episode of X-Files because Scully brings Mulder to this Antropology Professor in what is seemingly an attempt to dissuade Mulder of the existence of such a creature, but instead the professor is like "that sounds dope as hell" and joins their hunt.

#The X Files #when I say TXF is iconic is because of things like this ☝

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Fire//1x12

agent dana "i'm not jealous" scully

#Of course not 🤣 #The X Files #XF S1 #The FBI's Most Unwanted #Baby!Scully annoyed about British Lady flirting with her Crazy Alien Boy right under her nose #you'll be okay sweetie ^^

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"i lied to lucy's mother today."

#ER #Barbara Knight #John Carter #I met this woman for 10 minutes and carried her in my heart for two decades #The way she raised alone an only child for 25 years #and in one night she lost everything #💔 #I hope she managed to find some sort of happiness again

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the (approximate) timeline for episodes 06x13 "be still my heart" and 06x14 "all in the family"

#ER #one heartbreaking episode to rule them all #💔 #24 years and still hurts

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"You and I are perfect for each other. Never believe anything else."

Dark in Dusk In Winter Color Palette Meme Request for @demadogs

#GORGEOUS!! 😍💜 #Fave Shows #DARK

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#Art #DARK #😭🤧 #Mikkel Nielsen #Hannah Kahnwald #Michael x Hannah #babies doomed from the start 💔

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commission from kissmesonofg0d (on instagram) of jonas & martha from dark! ⌛️❤️⏳

#Art #DARK #Jonas Kahnwald #Martha Nielsen #ASDFGHJKL the amount of detail in this is CRAZY #!! #😭🤧

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Thank you, all of you! 🤧☝💖 I'm just going to add:

People frequently complain Hannah doesn't love anyone but herself when in fact her dubious life choices arise from the fact she feels people don't reciprocate how much she loves them;

DARK is mostly a story about love and how it ignites both great and terrible things. Tannhaus' love for his son destroyed the world, Claudia's love for her daughter restored it. And Hannah's love for a son she technically never had was what remained in the end, the final hopeful note the show gives us before closing. She's greater than the fandom gives her credit for. 🧡

When I saw Dark, I definitely expected characters like Hannah and Ulrich to be hated. I wasn't surprised when I saw comments disliking them on different websites, but I just didn't expect to see people celebrating that Hannah was murdered by her own child while her younger child was sleeping in the same room.

People can enjoy any moment they want while watching a show or movie, but I just don't get it. Hannah gets an amount of hate that no other character in the show gets, and it feels like a large part of the show's viewers ignore to even trying to understand her.

jonas literally says in the first episode:

“My father said good and evil are a question of perspective.”

I'm not saying her character didn't do bad things, but it's exhausting how that's the only thing people see about her and it's just like they're trying to erase the good she did or all the positive things she meant in certain characters' lives.

I was even more shocked to see how few comments put Hannah on the same level as Helene Albers. I just don't understand how anyone could think that Hannah is somehow comparable to an abusive parent.

Hannah with her kids:

When she saw her boy struggling to cope with his dad's dead, she supported her child and made sure he got the professional help he needed.

And when Jonas came back to town, she made sure he got his medications and therapy sessions with Peter.

Hannah was so worried when Jonas tells her he had a fight at the end of the first season.

In the same scene, he just wanted to comfort his mother by saying, "Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine, Mom." when he actually believed that he could save Mikkel and thus end his own existence.

As the months passed since her son's disappearance, Hannah was so devastated that she almost took her own life.

She didn't, because Stranger Jonas appeared.

Stranger Jonas has returned after years of living in the apocalypse, and he doesn't know what else to do when his plan fails. The only thing he can think of is to go to his mom and tell her the truth.

After the time young Jonas spent traveling with Claudia, the first thing he does when he finally returns home is look for his mom.

It was a long time before Hannah saw her son again.

But she went to see him immediately when a random old woman told her that she knew where her son was and that he needed her.

Hannah was heartbroken when she saw what had happened to her boy. In that moment she apologized, recognized her mistakes, and told him that she was there for him.

Young Adam looked scary, but Hannah loved him anyway, and baby Silja trusted him when he said, "I want to show you a secret. But we'll let your mom rest, okay?"

Hannah died when Silja was very young and she probably didn't remember much about her mom, but she still named her firstborn Hanno after her.

and that's just to mention some of the things I could remember about Hannah's relationship with her kids.

The last dialogue of the whole show:

"I always thought "Jonas" was a good name."

Hannah was a good mom and her kids absolutely loved her. It bothers me that some people want to take that away from her because they don’t like her.

It's really hard for me to understand how some viewers can watch a show like Dark and decide that they can see all the million gray areas that all these characters had, but with one particular character they reduce everything to black and white.

#on this M8 I'm here #DARK talk #Female Characters #Fave Characters #Hannah Kahnwald #I will go to my grave defending her ✊😠

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Adam und Eva 

#DARK #Jonas x Martha #Adam x Eva #The glitch in the matrix

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If I may add:

I totally agree on this, mostly because I think the fandom is overall unfair to Eva and her world. It feels good for once to find someone who actually gives her a chance to do her own terrible things for her own personal reasons.

Still, I'd like to go back to your final paragraphs and enlight something that I find particularly moving about DARK. I don't think we're supposed to choose sides in the end. It's not really about Adam or Eva being wrong or right - they were both desperate creatures trapped inside some never ending, unthinkable pain. In the end, they had to come together so they could break the cycle, fall apart and leave space for hope, which is what's left from their cursed existence. And that is like, so beautiful, it really makes me sad to see some commentaries reducing it to who wins over whom. 🧡

When I go looking for Dark discussions on the internet, I keep seeing people saying that Adam won or that Adam was right, and I really disagree with that.

First of all, Adam wasn't right. His solution to "end suffering" was total annihilation, the destruction of both worlds and all life in it. Adam didn't know about a third world, he didn't know that there was a way to untie the knot and still keep one world alive, but he was willing to destroy both worlds anyway. He was ok with destroying all the worlds that he thought existed. All because he and a few people were caught in the time loop. The thing is: the people who suffered because of the time loop were just a handful when compared to all of the people in the entire world. Yes, the time loop was terrible for them, but there were still plenty of people in the world who lived normal and good lives. Who is Adam to decide if all these people in the world deserve to die or not? Who is he to decide whether they have a right to existence or not?

The thing is, Eva is also a terrible person who did terrible things to perpetuate the loop. But if there was no third world, if the only options they had were either keep the loop or destroy all life and existence, then I'm 100% on Eva's side. Just because there's suffering in the world, doesn't mean that there aren't good things, like happiness and love. Just because people are destined to die at some point, doesn't mean that people can't enjoy the time that they do have alive. Just because there's no real free will, doesn't mean that people can't appreciate their lives. Eva's goal recognized just that: that life is still good, even with all the bad things that happen. Meanwhile, Adam's goal was purely nihilistic.

I also see people saying that "technically", Adam won and Eva lost, because Adam's goal was to destroy the two worlds and Eva's goal was to protect her son. But I don't agree with that either. Because Adam's goal was not just to "destroy both worlds" or "destroy the knot": he explicitly says that his goal is total annihilation, eternal darkness, he believes this is the true paradise, and he doesn't get that in the end. The origin world will still exist, and just because the time loop doesn't exist anymore, doesn't mean that this world won't also be full of suffering just like the other two worlds. Suffering is just part of life. So Adam never really achieved his goal of eternal darkness: he achieved his goal of untying the knot, but he had to accept that he wouldn't eradicate suffering, he wouldn't defeat time, and one world would still exist.

Eva didn't "lose" either. Sure, she had one personal goal of keeping her son alive (just like Adam had his own personal goal of ending his own existence, and Claudia had a personal goal of saving Regina), but she also had a more idealistic goal, which was to preserve life (just like Adam and Claudia also had their own idealistic goals beside just their personal goals). She explicitly says that this is her goal when she gives her speech to Erit Lux when she sends them on their missions: "Every darkness is followed by light. With every death comes a life." She is recognizing that yes, there is darkness and death, but there's also life and that's worth preserving. When she convinces Young Martha to kill Jonas, she says "If you want Jonas to live, if you want all of them to live, then we must do what has always been done". She doesn't appeal to Martha using just her son (that she just met), she appeals to her by saying that for "all of them" to live, this is what must be done. Her goal might include her son, but this isn't just about her son, it's about preserving all life. So yes, in the end, Eva doesn't achieve her own personal goal of preserving her son's life, but she does achieve her goal of preserving life through the continued existence of the origin world (and she and Adam both accept their fate of disappearing and face it peacefully).

In the end, neither Eva or Adam win or lose entirely: Adam achieves his personal goal of ending his own existence and his goal of destroying the knot, but not his goal of eternal darkness. Eva achieves her goal of preserving life, but not her goal of protecting her son.

Also, I think it's important to point out that Claudia was more aligned with Eva than with Adam (because I constantly see people saying that Claudia and Adam had "the same goal", which couldn't be further from the truth). Claudia explicitly rejects Adam's point of view when she tells Jonas that Adam "doesn't want to fix things, he wants to destroy them forever". When she first talks to her younger self, the one command she gives to herself is "you must stop Adam". Before she starts to think that there might be a way to untie the knot without destroying life, she was going along with Eva's plans, because she preferred preserving life over Adam's goal of destroying everything.

In the end, neither Adam or Eva truly win. The ones who win are Claudia, young Jonas and young Martha, the ones who hadn't lost hope that they could untie the knot while also saving the world. Claudia wins because she doesn't lose hope, unlike Eva and Adam.

Finally, I guess you could debate on whether the show wants to argue that eternal darkness is a good thing or not. You could argue that the show does want us to see eternal darkness as a good thing, especially considering Hannah's speech about nothingness and darkness in the last scene, and the fact that the show is called Dark. But right after Hannah says that her dream of darkness and nothingness felt like a good thing, the show ends with Hannah musing that she wants to name her son Jonas. The show ends by giving us hope that maybe Jonas will exist somehow, by reminding us of a new life, a new baby about to be born. So I'd argue that the show wants us to consider both sides. And anyway, regardless of the intended message, I still consider that Adam was wrong, regardless of whether he was "partially correct" about erasing the two worlds.

#anyway ranting aside #THIIIIIIIIIIS ☝☝☝ #DARK talk #I'm over the clouds here 🥰

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louis hofmann as jonas kahnwald in dark (2017 -2020)

#HOW DO YOU GIF OP? #IS THIS SOME KIND OF GIF SORCERY OR...?? #😨😨😨 #Louis Hofmann #Jonas Kahnwald #Fave Characters #DARK

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Rollisi Baby's Name is Nicky Rollins-Carisi

#ITABOI 😭😭😭 #LaO:SVU #Spoilers #HE'S ADORABLE!!! 😍😍 #Jesse - Billie - Nicky #I like it 💛 #Except that's most likely short for Dominick Carisi III which I don't like as much #plus - I can't stop thinking about Nick(y) Amaro #oh c'mon... 😅😅

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Berlin ❤️ (la casa de papel)

#YOUR ART IS SO CUTE OMG #😍😍 #Art #La Casa de Papel #well - sorta #I refuse to tag that spin-off

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Cold Case 2.22 | Best Friends

#Cold Case #💔💔

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Some random considerations while rewatching CSI:

My sister and I used to call Grissom Grissoma [with an heavy portuguese accent]. The thought still makes me smile. 😊

Sara might not have the smoothest attitude overall, but she was rude once to both Willows and Ecklie and they were already out for her head - yet, no one except for Grissom and later Greg even dared to ask her why, or at least if there was something going on. Geez...

I mostly remember Ecklie as Morgan's dad in later seasons. Forgot he used to be a major ass.

I really miss wacked kid Greg from early seaons. I'm all for character's growth, don't get me wrong, and he certainly matured along with his age and new responsabilities, but... There was this episode where he was left particularly shaken by the surviving burned woman and Sofia Curtis said something along the lines: "I've heard you used to be pretty funny. Don't lose that." Can't help but to feel the horrors of the job eventually won him over.

Just for once, it would be nice to see a working divorced-later-widowed mother raising a teenage daughter who does not act out because mom doesn't spend enough time at home. Sometimes, teenage girls just understand someone has to keep the family afloat.

I still can't believe we're going to loose Warrick like that. 😟

Nick is there. Nick is always there.

I love Jim Brass, I really do. That's a man who really honors his badge and always stays inside the right lines of his job. Not sure why they always have to be revealed as cheaters, though. Ellie might have had her reasons to accuse him of being a bad father, but he never gave up on her, ever. Knowing how their arc will eventually end actually breaks my heart.

Turns out Hodges has always been a pain in the ass.

I knew about Cam Tucker and Carole Hudson before, but what is Marshall Ericksen doing at the lab??! 🤣🤣

Oh look, it's that cop who will (much) later be revealed to be dirty... 😟 Stokes always tries to learn some more Spanish around him.

Doc Robbins is da bomb. 😎

#Bel talks about TV shows #CSI #Currently on S6 and having lots of feelings (again)