lumaejin

[lumaejin]

bangtan vs. their beloved muscle bunny maknae

source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 

[lumaejin]

precious memories

[lumaejin]

bangtan x daechwita

[lumaejin]

BTS stopping their entire concert to watch a bug cross the stage is just peak energy

[lumaejin]

bts 8th anniversary event: something I learned with bts is →  “i hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage” (trans cr.)

source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

[lumaejin]

Me treating Tumblr like Twitter Pt. 2 (because Twitter is toxic, no offense)

So, just an update of sorts: I was reading one of my AO3 stories the other day, and god... it was T E R R I B L E! I edited it recently with a new technique of sorts, but it turns out, it just made the story worse! I almost had a heart attack 😂. Well, since I’m currently editing that story, I have unfortunately stopped writing my new fic, which I’m really excited for by the way. It’ll probably take a while before it’s uploaded. I’ll add a summary to my masterlist soon though :)

#me treating tumblr like Twitter because I can and Twitter is toxic #happy halloween - sope #ao3 fanfic #update

[lumaejin]

[KOR/ENG LYRICS] Bicycle (2021) by RM

두 발을 구르며 Pedalling with my two feet,

볼 수 없는 그댈 마주해 I face you whom I can’t see

언제나처럼 날 These few centimeters of excitement

맞아주는 몇 센치의 떨림 That you always give me

I wanna keep the bass down low

벌써 내 마음은 주말 mode My heart is already in weekend mode

I don’t see no open cars, no open bars

나쁘지 않아 온전히 혼자인 road It’s not bad, it’s just me on this road

섬처럼 떠있는 사람들의 마음 People’s hearts floating like islands

어쩌면 오지 않을 듯한 밤 The night that seems like perhaps it won’t come

지평선을 걸어가 또 굴러가 Walk along the horizon, and pedal along again

우리가 정한 저 소실점으로 Towards that vanishing point we’ve decided on

슬프면 자전거를 타자 If you’re sad, ride your bike

바람을 두 발 아래 두자 Leave the wind beneath your two feet

오 자전거를 타자 Oh, let’s ride our bikes

두 팔을 자유로이 벌리며 Spread your two arms freely

나 나나나 나나나 Na nanana nanana

나나나나나 Nanananana

나나나 나나나 나나나 Nanana nanana nanana

나나나나나 Nanananana

가끔은 굴러가게 둬 Sometimes I let it roll along

자전거 바퀴처럼 Just like the wheels on a bicycle

찾을 게 있어 There’s something to look for

오후의 간식처럼 Just like an afternoon snack

이 작은 순간을 위해 살아온 것 같아 I think I’ve lived to get to these small moments

두 바퀴 위에선 다 사사로운 한낮의 꿈 Above these two wheels, everything is like my very own midday dream

Feel the roof, smell the truth

멀지 않아 기적은 Miracles aren’t too far away

어떤 얼굴을 해도 지금은 괜찮아 Whatever face you’re making, right now it’s okay

진짜 소중한 건 눈에 보이지 않아 Things that are truly precious can’t be seen by the eye

땅에서 발을 떼 Take your feet off the ground

저 새를 닮은 태 Be like the birds*

섬처럼 떠있기로 해 Float like an island

바람을 따라 춤춰 Dance with the wind

Yeah 울어도 돼 Yeah, it’s okay to cry

원래 행복하면 슬퍼 Happiness usually comes with sadness

슬프면 자전거를 타자 If you’re sad, ride your bike

바람을 두 발 아래 두자 Leave the wind beneath your two feet

오 자전거를 타자 Oh, let’s ride our bikes

두 팔을 자유로이 벌리며 Spread your two arms freely

나 나나나 나나나 Na nanana nanana

나나나나나 Nanananana

나나나 나나나 나나나 Nanana nanana nanana

나나나나나 Nanananana

나나나 나나나 Nanana nanana

라라라라라 Lalalalala

나나나 나나나 Nanana nanana

라라라라라 Lalalalala

(T/N: *A more literal translation of this line would be ‘The posture of the birds’.)

Trans cr; Faith & Denise @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

[lumaejin]

what people think is hard about writing: describing the joy, love, beauty, grief, loss and hope that form the richness of human experience

what is actually hard about writing: describing basic actions such as turning, leaning over, reclining, gesturing, saying something in a quiet voice, breathing, getting up from chairs, and walking across rooms

#misc

[lumaejin]

If anyone knows the Violet Evergarden OST:

It’s a masterpiece. Fight me.

#misc #me treating tumblr like Twitter because I can and Twitter is toxic #violet evergarden

[lumaejin]

Literally so proud! It’s been a few days but I realise I haven’t actually talked about it.

I wasn’t able to stream a lot this time, but to those who did: you guys r fcking amazing!! Thanks for giving the boys something as great as this!! Purple u 💜

L E G E N D S !

#misc

[lumaejin]

Your Highness | JJK

➳ Ship: Jungkook x Reader

➳ Genre: Fantasy AU. Prince!Jungkook x Warrior!Reader

➳ Word Count: 3.3k

➳ Rating: General Audiences (nothing mature/explicit)

➳ Summary: Your childhood best friend. The prince of your realm. One minute you were causing trouble together, the next he was... gone. But almost 100 years later, you finally see him again.

(banner made by me)

I lunged out with my wooden sword, the tip cutting through the dummy’s throat, sending its head flying. I smiled at my work, thinking about the possible praise I would get from my trainer. Someone started clapping from behind me.

“What are you doing here Jungkook?” I said, walking towards the decapitated head of the dummy and picking it up. With all my strength, I threw it across to the nearest bin.

“Well you know, escaping classes and what not,” he said. I rolled my eyes. Typical.

“You do know these will be important once you’re the emperor, right?”

“I still have ages until I have to worry about that. Besides, don’t you want to… you know, get out of here for a bit?” he asked, looking around at the old training arena, “It smells in here.”

“True that,” I said, contemplating his idea, “You know what… why not? BUT, I get shouted at for ‘being a bad influence to you’, you will not get off easily.”

“Sure,” he said, grinning mischievously.

“Now help me with tidying up.”

“That’s not fair! You made this mess!” he pouted. You stopped for a moment to admire his expression, before looking away.

“But you,” I said, dragging out the u, “want to get out of here quickly.”

He sighed, walking over towards the rest of the equipment, grabbing it, “I could always go without you, or with my hyungs, you know.”

“We both know you would never.”

[…]

As soon as the dummies had been thrown out and the area cleaned, we made our way towards the stables. Technically, Jungkook wasn’t supposed to be here, so we couldn’t just ask Hoseok for the horses like we normally would. Instead, Jungkook was going to saddle them secretly, while I went to distract Hobi.

“HEY! HOBI OPPA!” I yelled out, waving furiously at him. Jungkook had already snuck to the other side, entering the stable from the back door.

“Hey Y/N! What are you doing here?” he asked, smiling at me.

“Well, I was bored so I decided to come here.”

Walking towards a bench, I sat down, patting the spot next to me. Maybe I did feel a bit bad for lying to him, but that could be worried about later.

“Jungkook’s in class, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, his classes are getting longer and longer every day. So, what have you been doing?”

“Oh, not much, just this and that. Oh, we got a new horse, did I tell you?”

“You did? Is it a he or a she?” I asked, genuinely interested. Horses were beautiful creatures, especially the royal steeds.

“A she. Her name is Snowy and she’s beautiful! If you want, I can show you right now?”

Shit, no Hobi. I appreciate it but please don’t.

“Ugh, maybe another day? I’m sure she still has to get used to everything. Wouldn’t want to disturb her now, would we?” I said, mentally slapping myself. Couldn’t I have come up with something better? I glanced around, focusing on my peripheral vision. I couldn’t see Jungkook anywhere, so he was still inside. I sighed internally, couldn’t that boy hurry up?

“Ah no, she’s the sweetest. She gets along really well with the others, even with Flare and you know how she is.”

“Yeah. But just to be safe, you know.”

“Sure…” Hoseok narrowed his eyes at you, but you smiled.

“How did your training go?”

“The usual, Taehyung managed to land himself detention once again, and I stayed back a bit to practice after that.”

“What did he do this time?” Hoseok said, shaking his head, a smile on his lips.

I laughed, replaying the scene in my head, “Well, the usual prank. This time, it was on the assistant trainer. It was hilarious, but no one was dumb enough to laugh.”

The image of the assistant, covered from head to toe in paint, flashed in front of my mind and I bit back another laugh.

At that moment, I saw a figure waving out of the corner of my eyes. Jungkook. Mission accomplished.

“Anyway, it was nice chatting and all, but I have to get back to my grandmother now. Thank you! I’ll see whether I can stop by later?”

“Sure,” he said, as I ran off to the back of the stable, waving at him until I wasn’t in sight anymore.

“…TELL JUNGKOOK THAT HE CAN’T SKIP CLASS FOREVER!” I heard Hoseok shout after me. He must have seen me glancing at the stable doors every now and then. I grinned at his words and shook my head, yelling back “I WILL!”

A second later, I reached the edge of the forest, where Jungkook was waiting for me.

“I’m supposed to tell you, from Hobi oppa, that you can’t continue to skip class,” I said, taking the reins, which he held out towards me.

“You have to be more subtle next time. I mean, if Hobi hyung can pick up on it, then anyone could.”

“Stop complaining,” I said, playfully hitting him on the shoulder, “I’ve been doing the same thing for years, and Hobi oppa and the rest of your hyungs are the only ones who ever pick up on it. By the way, why did you take so long? What the hell were you doing in there?”

“It’s not my fault that Fire over here was trying to bite off my finger!”

“You should have let her, you know how much she likes eating human parts. It would have made her happy,” I said, giving him a smile.

“Don’t you worry about my happiness, woman?”

“Nope.”

[...]

A long ride and a few close encounters with castle guards later, the rushing sound of the waterfall could be heard. The forest was teeming with life, like it always was. Birds were chirping happily, the leaves were rustling and every now and then, I could hear the sound of animals rushing around between the bushes.

As we got closer, the water splashing was more and more obvious and the air started to feel more humid.

“Y/N, look!” Jungkook said.

I turned around to look in the direction he was pointing to find the trees clearing up, revealing the waterfall we had been looking for.

“Woah! It’s not changed at all since the last time we were here,” I said, gaping at the beautiful sight. The fog started to get thicker, but still, it was beautiful.

“What did you expect to happen, for it to suddenly turn red?”

“You never know. Maybe someday one of you magicians decide red fits the landscape more?”

We dismounted the horses, tying them to nearby trees. The closer we walked, the louder the sound of the rushing water became. At some point, it started to be close to deafening, but neither of us cared. We walked to the side of the curtain of water and over a bridge.

The water was splattering me everywhere, but I didn’t notice too much. We kept on walking and soon we had reached the opening to a few dark caves. I took a torch from the wall and held it up for Jungkook to light. Immediately, the rush of cold air greeted me, as we walked further in, but I ignored it. A few moments later, we had reached our destination.

With a flick of Jungkook’s wrist, the lights in the small cave turned on. They were glittering in every different colour, creating a rainbow effect on the walls. A heap of blankets and books were piled in the corner, just like we had last left them.

I went over to them, while Jungkook unpacked the food which we had bought in village. The delicious scent of baked goods immediately filled the cave and I sighed in content. Quickly arranging the blankets, I grabbed a croissant from the basket and sat down in the fluffy haven. Jungkook plopped down next to me and I leant my head on his shoulder as we munched the food.

“I read that earthlings do similar things. They sit on a checked blanket and eat food like we are now, but I heard they do it on meadows or in a forest instead,” he said, staring into the distance.

“That’s boring! Why don’t they find more exciting places?”

“Dunno, but I think it’s interesting that they don’t,” he said.

I laughed. This was typical Jungkook. There was a comfortable silence, as we were both lost in our own thoughts.

“Kookie, what do you think will happen in the future?”

He didn’t reply for a while, thinking it through. “I’ll become emperor… probably marry some stupid whore my father wants me to marry, and die at some point I guess and you...”

My heart stung a bit, but I already knew what he said was true. There was no way he would ever fall for me.

“…you’ll become the best Valkyrie in the realm I bet!”

“As if!”

“Well, even if you don’t, as soon as I have the power to, I’ll appoint you head of the royal guard. This way we’ll never be apart.”

My cheeks felt warm and I turned my head to look at him, to find his eyes already on me.

---

TIME SKIP

I watched the scene unfold from afar, standing in the shadows opposite the small café. There he was, wearing normal clothes and working at a normal job, smiling at and interacting with normal people. With earthlings. Yet, as much as it was weird to me, I couldn't help but be happy for him. This was what he had longed for so many years.

Before he was banished, Jungkook had always been curious about the earth. He would read about it, the way things worked or the way people behaved, and then go rant about it to me. He had told me about how he found it fascinating and that one day, he would see it with his own eyes, regardless of whether he had permission or not.

Therefore it hadn't surprised me at all when his hyungs had informed me of his banishment. That couldn't be said about the people of Yinshratha however. It was the only topic talked about for days. No one had believed it at first, because Jungkook's father, the emperor, had always made sure that he was known to be 'an exceptionally well-behaved boy'. Any time we had gotten ourselves in trouble, his involvement was always kept quiet.

As a result, it had been a great shock for most people to find that Jungkook, their prince and the successor to the throne, had been caught returning from the earth. Going there without permission was a major crime, which was punishable by death. Normally, the emperor would have just kept it quiet, resorting to giving his son house arrest instead, but unfortunately, many people had witnessed Jungkook being dragged towards the palace. There wasn't much of a choice for the emperor after that, but to banish him. I hadn't seen my best friend since.

100 years had passed now, and every day, I had missed him. I had thought multiple times of just going to earth to find him, but the last words I had said to him before his banishment prevented me from doing so, along with my responsibilities as a Valkyrie.

A year ago, the emperor had declared war to a neighbouring realm, underestimating their power completely. Half of his troops, including most of my comrades, had been killed in the last battle, leaving the emperor no choice but to look for reinforcements where ever he could find them, which meant looking for banished folk. I had already found nearly all of them, the only one left now was Jungkook.

I had always doubted whether he would return when he was called, but instead of dwelling on it too much, I had pushed it to the back of my mind instead, focusing on tracking and finding the others.

Yet, as I watched him go about his business, serving customers in a small café, these doubts resurfaced. He seemed so happy, making me wonder whether I should really bother him with the news of his old home. As soon as I had registered what I was contemplating though, I shook the thoughts out of my head and moved out of my hiding spot. It was 16:50 now and the shop would be closing soon. I had already wasted enough time.

Silently, I entered the small shop, joining the shrinking line. There were people chatting happily everywhere, most of them were holding a weird rectangular thing in their hands and moving their thumbs over it quickly. In fact, there were multiple tables where all the people who sat there didn't talk to each other at all and just stared at their rectangles instead. How weird.

I looked to the front, where Jungkook was currently serving another customer. He was as handsome as ever, with his forehead showing underneath his hair, and his charming smile. There was that feeling in my stomach again, almost as if it had never disappeared and always been there. I was getting distracted again.

The line moved again and a while later, I was at the front.

"Good afternoon miss. Welcome to our café, what would...?" he trailed off, staring at me with wide eyes, "Y/N? What are you doing here?"

I knelt down in front of the counter, "Your highness."

There was a lot I would have given not to do it, but Vakyries who didn't kneel were often punished and even though I knew that Jungkook would never do anything of the kind, there was no telling who was watching.

The people in the café looked at me weirdly, while Jungkook's eyes widened, quickly telling me that there was no need to bow. I stood up slowly, "I have been sent by his majesty, the emperor-"

"Let's not talk about this here. Come with me," he cut in quickly, before more people could overhear and question my sanity, "Sejin, can you cover for me?"

I walked behind the counter and followed him into a back room. He pressed something rectangular, causing the room to suddenly be lit. A small table, surrounded by a few sofas was placed in the middle of it and there was a fireplace on the wall before the small setup. Additional tables lined the wall. He turned towards me, leaning against one of them, and smiled cheekily, "Since when have you called me 'your highness'?"

"It is required of all Valkyries to call all members of the royal family -"

"I've told you before that even after you finish your training, that you won't have to do that. It already gets annoying enough when everyone else does it, there is no need for you to do it too."

"Yes, your highness, but it's been a while since we've last talked," I replied. My thoughts strayed once again to the day we had last seen each other and I cringed internally. Clearing my throat, I said, "His majesty, the emperor -"

"I hereby command you to drop the 'your highness' bullshit and all that formality," he said, making me sigh with relief, "Now before you go on again about-" he imitated my voice in a ridiculous manner, for which I almost hit him with my bag and stopping myself at the very last second, " 'his majesty, the emperor-' I wanted to catch up. What have you been doing? How are you doing?"

"Jungkook, I- oh shut up," I said at his smirk. Only then realising what had slipped out, I quickly covered my mouth. 'Shut up' was not something I was allowed to say to the prince.

He laughed at my gesture, shaking his head, "Seriously, you've changed. When have you ever cared about this stuff? You used to hit me with a ruler and tell me to shut up for no apparent reason all the time."

"I was a kid back then! And you definitely deserved it. Your status was really getting to you," I said, smiling feebly at the old memories of us running through the beautiful meadows and laughing. Immediately, an image of the battle flashed before me, making me drop it instantly.

"Jungkook, listen. I was sent here to inform you that your banishment has been lifted," I said, " His majesty declared war to Hanashem and unfortunately, their forces are stronger than was anticipated. He sent all of the elites in, but- but most of us didn't make it. He's afraid of losing this war, with the majority of us gone." The images of the battle scene were there again, haunting me as they had done in the past few weeks.

"He...what?" Jungkook said, his voice laced with hatred, "How could he have been so careless to send you in? And what the hell happened to the 'realm of peace'."

"Please Jungkook, I know you hate him, but the realm needs you. Your hyungs need you. I need you," I pleaded, images of my dead comrades were now flashing before my eyes, "Please. Please come back."

The next thing I knew, arms were wrapping themselves around me, enclosing me in a comforting hug. Butterflies were gathering themselves in my stomach again, but I ignored them, subconsciously leaning into the embrace, forgetting the principles which had been drilled into me completely and any will that I had had in the last few years to get over Jungkook.

"Of course I'll come," I heard him whisper as he stroked my hair softly, "It's going to be okay."

We stayed like that for a while until he spoke again, "There's something that I've been meaning to talk to you about."

He pulled away, looking me in the eye. I had an inkling of what he wanted to say. This was something I had been dreading for a while. I had kept the thought at the very back of my mind, but it was always there.

"Did you mean what you said to me in the last few moments before I was banished?"

There it was. The words I had dreaded. If I told him the truth, would it affect his behaviour around me? I knew it would because there was no way he felt the same. I was just his best friend, nothing more.

But I couldn't lie to him: he always knew when I wasn't telling the truth, not to mention, however close we had once been, I would be lying to the prince, a member of the royal family, which was something not to be done.

I hesitated, avoiding his gaze, before bringing the words out, "I did."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"It doesn't matter, I-"

"Do you?" he persisted.

I sighed heavily, "I do, but I can get over it. I -"

But I never got to finish my sentence. I felt his lips moving against mine, carefully but passionately at the same time. My heart pounded loudly in my chest and I felt my knees going weaker and weaker. Heat rose from my stomach upwards and I felt the butterflies fluttering around. Was this a dream? If it was, it was one I didn't want to wake up from.

As we pulled apart, both gasping for breath, I could only stare at him, wide-eyed.

"Did you expect me not to fall for you when you were, and still are, so perfect all the time?" he whispered.    

A/N: This was written a long time ago on wattpad. I like to think that my writing’s evolved since then, which is why I will make time to edit in sometime in the near future.

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook fanfic #jjk #jeongguk #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #bts j-hope #jung hoseok #childhood best friend #friends to lovers #prince!jungkook #writing

[lumaejin]

I’m back... sort of?

Well, I realise that I went very MIA for the past few months? I don't know, I just went through a phase of sorts. I'm back now though and this post is just an update.

My main story on this account was 'Bad Luck. | KSJ', but I won't be continuing it any time soon. The main reason is that I simply have some things to figure out (plot-wise) and that some things don't seem to make a lot of sense. I did have it planned out, but there are some plot holes which I can't just leave there. I do like the story though, so I'll definitely try and figure something out that makes sense. Maybe I'll even rewrite it.

For now however, I'll be focusing on rewriting some of my AO3 stories, mainly 'Happy Halloween' and 'Memories'. I've also been thinking about starting a new Taekook fic and a Jikook Soulmate fic has been in my drafts for quite some time. Neither are going to be published any time soon though.

So, that's my sort of status update!

#update #is there even a need for tags? #misc

[lumaejin]

So, the next update for Bad Luck. | KSJ won’t be coming anytime soon... I have a lot of school work and a pretty important exam on Monday. Plus, the next update will be actual writing, so that’ll take some time to edit and all. Sorry guys :(

#update #excuses excuses xD #bts fanfiction #misc

[lumaejin]

twelve | zwölf | 十二

Bad Luck. Part 12. New company. New luck. You’re getting a new manager. Finally. Your experiences with your last were... let’s say anything but pleasant, so you’re excited to have a new one. Well... only to find that good luck really doesn’t seem to like you.

➳ pairing: manager!seokjin x singer!reader

➳ genre: idol au, sm au, a tiny bit of angst?

➳ warnings: minor swearing, will be handling mental illnesses and triggering events from now on

➳ Full Story

➳ Continue Reading (Coming Soon)

Tag List: @cheesecakes-randomshitz @thequeen-kat @the-obsessive-fangirl

If you want to be added to my taglist, simply ask in the comments or send me an ask :)

#bangtanarmynet #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts #social media au #bts social media au #jin social media au #jin x reader #kim seokjin #jin smau #ba #writing

[lumaejin]

eleven | elf | 十一

Bad Luck. New company. New luck. You’re getting a new manager. Finally. Your experiences with your last were... let’s say anything but pleasant, so you’re excited to have a new one. Well... only to find that good luck really doesn’t seem to like you.

➳ pairing: manager!seokjin x singer!reader

➳ genre: idol au, sm au, a tiny bit of angst?

➳ warnings: minor swearing, will be handling mental illnesses and triggering events from now on

➳ Full Story

➳ Continue Reading (Coming Soon)

Tag List: @cheesecakes-randomshitz @thequeen-kat @the-obsessive-fangirl

If you want to be added to my taglist, simply ask in the comments or send me an ask :)

#bangtanarmynet #bts fanfic #bts #bts x reader #social media au #bts social media au #jin social media au #jin x reader #kim seokjin #jin smau

[lumaejin]

SAY IT WITH ME: “WHAT SUGA WANTS..

SUGA GETS”

AND HE POSTED ON WEVERSE THAT HE CRIED AFTER HE SAW ‘LIFE GOES ON’ #1 ON HOT 100!!

[lumaejin]

ten | zehn | 十

Bad Luck. New company. New luck. You’re getting a new manager. Finally. Your experiences with your last were... let’s say anything but pleasant, so you’re excited to have a new one. Well... only to find that good luck really doesn’t seem to like you.

➳ pairing: manager!seokjin x singer!reader

➳ genre: idol au, sm au, a tiny bit of angst?

➳ warnings: minor swearing, will be handling mental illnesses and triggering events from now on

➳ word count: 1885

The car ride to the restaurant was like always, silent. Over the past two days, you had quickly realised that the only thing you two managed to have a normal conversation about was work. How the hell the two of you had managed to talk for hours non-stop on the plane was lost on you. Even though you had somehow silently come to the conclusion that you could spend time with him without throwing up, you still had no idea how to start conversations. You were officially friends, but it was plainly awkward (though of course, it was better than before). You wanted to be comfortable around him, but memories of the end kept coming up whenever you looked him in the eye. You wanted to let your barriers down, but your mind and brain were warning you to not get too close. It was like your body was fighting an inner battle. A part of you hoped for nothing more than to talk with him like you would have before, another part of you wanted you to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. Currently, the first part was winning… you hadn’t run back to Korea yet. That was something, right?

Staring out of the window at the beautiful cityscape, you tried to keep your mind off of the person sitting in front of you. It was mostly dark, but the yellowish street lights gave the buildings an elegant feel. Stars competed with each other, trying to shine brightly enough to be seen, accompanied by the sound of the low rumbles of the car.

It was so peaceful. No traffic jams, no continuous honking, no hurried people with briefcases trying to make it to work on time. London was sleeping, softly breathing almost like a small baby.

It was beautiful.

You wished that your inner thoughts could be just as placid, but honestly, it was just an empty wish. Wishes were nothing if you didn’t do anything about them and they would never come true if you didn’t work for them. And honestly, something inside you (probably the second party in your emotional battle) was preventing you from pursuing that wish.

“We’re here,” Minju said about 10 minutes later, making you turn to look at the back of Jin’s head. He was texting someone on his phone, probably one of his friends. When he heard the driver’s words, however, he immediately put the phone back into his pocket.

“I’ve already reserved,” he said, getting out of the car and opening the door for you like a true gentleman.

You took his hand as he helped you get out, trying to ignore the warmth of his hand and the tingling feeling which was left in its place. You sculptured your face into one of nonchalance, waiting for Minju to get out too.

“He wanted to go and eat with some of his friends in London and I let him have the rest of the night off. Someone else will be coming to pick us up,” Jin said, tugging your sleeve in the direction of the entrance. You heard the engine of the car rumble and waved to Minju one last time, before the car backed out of the driveway and disappeared.

“He deserves it,” you said, putting on your face mask. It was unlikely that you were going to be recognised, but ‘better safe than sorry’ right?

As both of you entered the restaurant, Jin exchanged a few words with the manager while you looked around silently. The whole place was dimly lit, the lights tinted slightly red. There were multiple wooden tables placed around the room, and a few families were still eating their dinner. Some of them were korean and asian, some english. The smell of the food filled your nose and it immediately reminded you of your hometown. You felt Jin tap your arm as the man bowed and smiled, leading the two of you to a table slightly separated from the others. Another precaution to make sure you were safe from prying eyes.

A waitress came by with your menus moments later and as you opened it, your mouth watered at the sight of the korean dishes. You didn’t think that western food was terrible, but whatever it was that you had ordered yesterday, it had been a nightmare. Stale. Tasteless. Ew.

“Never thought I’d be so happy to see rice again,” Jin said as both of you looked through the list.

“Me too. To think that mum used to have to force me to eat just a tiny bit more of it,” you said.

“I remember,” he said, “You used to complain about it all day.”

Immediately, his eyes widened in surprise, “Oh my god, sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It just came out of my mouth.”

“It’s okay,” you said, just as the waitress came to get your orders.

After she walked back to the kitchen, the two of you were left in silence again. You turned your head to examine the paintings, trying to look anywhere but at Jin. Weren’t you past this whole awkward silence thing? You had gotten used to awkward car rides, but sitting next to each other and being like this was something else. A lot worse.

“Look… I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Jin said, breaking the silence. Suddenly, you were wishing he hadn’t. Here comes the serious talk. “But if we’re gonna be around each other as much as we will be, I think it’s not enough to say that we’re just going to ignore the past.”

You had expected it, in all honesty, but had hoped for it to come at a later time or maybe in a place where you could escape. For a moment, you thought about going to the bathroom… that would easily show that you weren’t ready for this conversation. Just as you were about to stand up however, Namjoon’s voice coursed through your head. He was right, the two of you really needed to talk if you were going to work together. He was right…

“I hurt you and I want to apologise for that,” Jin said. He was fidgeting with his hands, something he had always done when he was nervous. Once upon a time, you had found it cute and taken them in yours to try and calm him. Now, you were the reason for his nervousness.

“I’m not gonna lie… at the time, I really did mean what I said to you and I’m sorry for ever thinking about you in the way that I did. I’m sorry for never coming to you earlier to apologise, and I’m sorry that I ever even looked at someone else while I had you. You didn’t deserve what I did to you… you’d always been so good to me and truly, I loved you a lot. The woman… the woman I compared you with was a bitch and I let her words get to my head. I had a hunch that she was playing me, but decided to ignore it and… I’m sorry that I destroyed what we had,” Jin said, his eyes filling with so much regret as he looked at his hands, “I’m sorry for believing her words. I don’t even know why I did it… but I did it. I’m sorry Yn. If I hadn’t been so dumb, maybe… maybe everything would still be okay.”

Was it weird that you were happy that it hadn’t worked out with the woman? Was that being sadistic? You innerly shook your head at the thought. Here he was, apologising, and that was the one thing you decided to focus on.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me after you realised?” You were holding your tears back, using your experience as an idol to sculpture your expression carefully. Your facade was threatening to crack, however, the edges of the mask unstable and frail. You didn’t want to talk about this, but you knew that you needed it. This talk was long overdue, your own fears had prevented you from doing the sensible thing for so long. It was time to listen to Namjoon’s advice.

“I felt… I felt that you’d be better off without me,” Jin answered, his voice dropping to a whisper, “Once I came back to myself, I thought about it for a while and realised how much I hurt you. I just thought that you deserved better than me. I… I was going to apologise and then leave, but when I texted you, you never replied and I- I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, so I decided to at least let you have that. I didn’t know that you had lost your phone… if I’d know I…”

You had always sworn that you wouldn’t let a break up ruin you. It was just a ‘simple’ break up, right? A few days and your heart would be healed. That was what you had thought before getting your heart shattered by the one person you loved most in this world. A break up like that had absolutely destroyed you. No matter how many days you tried to get over him, you were never able to. For many weeks, you watched someone else live your life, a hollowed out version of the real you. You watched as everything fell apart right in front of you. Your debut...pushed back. Your normal life… spent drinking at random bars. Your friends… pushed away whenever they tried to help. If Taehyung hadn’t been so insistent, if Jungkook hadn’t been so kind, if Namjoon had given up on you… you didn’t know what you would have done. They had been your saviours from the catastrophe that was Jin. And they continued to be saviours.

You couldn’t keep the tears back any longer. The thoughts of the times after the end… they hurt as much as thinking about the end itself. It hurt to watch yourself losing to life. It hurt to watch your friends’ desperate attempts to help you. It hurt to see the tears staining your pillows every night. But most of all, it hurt to relive the emotions you had felt during that time.

Before you knew it, he was sitting beside you, putting an arm around you and pulling you into his arms. The scent of his cologne and after-shave filled you and you almost smiled at the fact that he smelled just like he had so many years ago. The warmth of his embrace calmed your racing heart, but the tears continued to fall, wetting the front of his shirt. You could feel how sorry and regretful he was through his hug, how tight he held you, how there was wetness dripping from his eyes too.

And then, something inside of you changed. The barrier which had kept you from him, the barrier telling you that he was an absolute monster and that he was going to hurt you again and again and again if you even got close, disappeared? He had hurt you sure, and maybe you were going to regret this later, but the thing that mattered to you at that moment, was that he had made a mistake. And mistakes are made to be learned from.

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