lumierestars

[lumierestars]

i've gotten good at living on someone else's page

~ Metaphor - The Crane Wives

[lumierestars]

the fire didn’t kill him but his heart was clouded by the smoke broken angels of my heart looking for hope in the faintest of lights her perseverance to make it through makes her survive infinite hells his anger flaming in a corner of his chest spreading forest fires for fortnights the shine in his eyes as he looks at her and finds his universe in someone’s life the feelings that we choose to tuck away forming out our stories forever we are here now and we are here together hold my hand and let’s sync our breaths tomorrow my dear the sun shines again until then the only light is moon

~ shreeya.

[lumierestars]

I'm a first year psych major (undergrad). So, in this second semester, we have 7 courses (5 core courses that are of 4 credits, and 2 practicum courses that are of 2 credits).

We have one class lasting for 2 hours, and all core subjects have 2 classes every week (so that's 4 hours a week for every core course).

In one day, we either have 2 or 3 classes.

I think 3-4 hours a class sounds like a lot and 7 courses in itself is a huge number. I hope they reduce some work load for you guys!

Asking all the psychology majors out there. How many classes do you have per week? (Please reblog so as many people as possible can reply) I really need the data. Plz also include if you’re doing one or two degrees!

I need data to help persuade my university. We currently have to enroll in all 7 classes and all the classes are about 3-4 hours long. That’s 28 hours of lectures per week and we’re not talking about group projects and assignments which are assigned weekly.

🙏🙏🙏🙏

Please reblog!

@crying-is-your-latest-fashion @magnus-the-maqnificent @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @khaleesiofalicante @my-archerboy @littlx-songbxrd @fair-but-wilde-messages @a-very-gay-spider @ab-cedario

[lumierestars]

let me weave a story in a poem

a poem of a story of a boy

that I used to be crazy about

a boy who may be oblivious

to the spotlight he held for me

I've weaved little poems for you

time and time again

but this one is of the start

which I never have penned down

I remember the day we met

I remember it all too well

I remember how little we were

and how unknown about life

and all the drama it brings

you set a place in my heart

with your pretty eyes and

your sharp witty mouth

and that place existed for

a surprisingly long time

it was such a long time

that I'm here writing a poem

about all of it, to you

which I know you'll never read

because you don't even know

about the existence of all this

eight years and counting

yes, it was eight years and more

of a million eye contacts

and of booming laughters shared

they say you look at the person

whom you're closest to in the room

while you're laughing

you remember how we looked

at each other

at the very same moment

with eyes full of laughter

and smiles that could

engulf the light of the sun

i used to love laughing with you

i used to love looking at you

i used to love your smirks

and all your many witticisms

but then you changed

something shifted and

you changed

you weren't that soft soul anymore

you became someone else

someone I barely knew

someone who was completely

different from the person

that I had grown up with

all this time, all too well

you changed and I could

still see a little light of you

of the original real you

but that light was a flicker

and rest was darkness

when I last saw you a year ago

you still were that changed person

that flicker was still there though

you still kept giving me glances

though they were hidden this time

but not hidden enough from me

and hey, guess what

I kept glancing too

because it's habit, you're habit

that's the thing, you know?

even if you aren't occupying that

place in my heart out of

adoration anymore

you're occupying it

out of habit

some habits are so hard to break up

and I have known this habit

all too well.

~ shreeya.//all too well//

[lumierestars]

it was a day of goodbyes

everyone wished me so

I wished them a happy life

and the evening went on

you and I saw each other

exchanged knowing looks

but never spoke as usual

when the day ended finally

and everyone was saying

the last final goodbye

you come up to me slowly

and whispered in my ear

but before I could turn around

to look at you, you leave

you leave in the moment

wherein tectonic plates

are shifting inside my heart

why'd you not let me have

the closure I've badly needed

and why is it that my heart

reacts magnificently to you

maybe you'll just be a memory

maybe we meet again in life

but the shiver that ran down

when you said those words

is gonna beguile me forever

as much as it will slay me

~ shreeya.//"hey, I love you"//

[lumierestars]

Orange in the middle of a table:

It isn’t enough to walk around it at a distance, saying it’s an orange: nothing to do with us, nothing else: leave it alone

I want to pick it up in my hand I want to peel the skin off; I want more to be said to me than just Orange: want to be told everything it has to say

And you, sitting across the table, at a distance, with your smile contained, and like the orange in the sun: silent:

Your silence isn’t enough for me now, no matter with what contentment you fold your hands together; I want anything you can say in the sunlight:

stories of your various childhoods, aimless journeyings, your loves; your articulate skeleton; your posturings; your lies.

These orange silences (sunlight and hidden smile) make me want to wrench you into saying; now I’d crack your skull like a walnut, split it like a pumpkin to make you talk, or get a look inside

But quietly: if I take the orange with care enough and hold it gently

I may find an egg a sun an orange moon perhaps a skull; centre of all energy resting in my hand

can change it to whatever I desire it to be

and you, man, orange afternoon lover, wherever you sit across from me (tables, trains, buses)

if I watch quietly enough and long enough

at last, you will say (maybe without speaking)

(there are mountains inside your skull garden and chaos, ocean and hurricane; certain corners of rooms, portraits of great-grandmothers, curtains of a particular shade; your deserts; your private dinosaurs; the first woman)

all I need to know: tell me everything just as it was from the beginning

Margaret Atwood, “Against Still Life.” Circle Game

[lumierestars]

heres something i wrote while i was on a lot of medication

[lumierestars]

Persephone is Buried in a Field by Joan Tierney

[lumierestars]

“I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.”

— Lora Mathis, If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It (via thequotejournals)

[lumierestars]

Excerpt from The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton

[lumierestars]

Bhanu Kapil, from The Vertical Interrogation of Strangers

[lumierestars]

“Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn new things. Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal. Be frustrated, it’s where you start to make more authentic decisions. Be sad, because if we are brave enough we can hear our heart’s wisdom through it. Be whatever you are right now. No more hiding. You are worthy, always.”

— S.C. Lourie

[lumierestars]

HAMMOND B3 ORGAN CISTERN by GABRIELLE CALVOCORESSI

[lumierestars]

If I could see each path before me

I’d take the quickest route to you.

It’s selfish of me really,

to want to hoard as much

of your time on this earth as I can.

Either way I’ll crave more time.

I just wish ours had already started.

[lumierestars]

i don’t think you understand emptiness. 

a cup on the table is empty but it was still made. hands held it, molded it, carefully  shaped it together, webbed design that looks like that stray curl they brush from your cheek.  it is empty now but — tomorrow, when you  are shoulderslumped and heavy, your hand  laid on the back of your neck like some errant  passing of apology, it will be full. & you will be glad. and you will be loved.  now imagine the cup, gone. imagine the table.  imagine the tired rug on the kitchen floor. imagine them so completely and then erase them. paint them in the vivid red of last night’s sunset & then vanish  them, light into dark. imagine you never held the cup.  imagine your curls are never brushed away by  a hand that made something for you. imagine you &  know that the only word that fits is nothing. 

you imagine. you believe. you think you know as  you sit on the bathroom floor, staring at the yellowed light and faucet that needs to be cleaned. you think  you know. you have no cup. you have no curls. you think you know. 

i don’t think you do. because i can tell you all of  this & you can put an image to each word and  define it as emotion.                 & i can’t. 

[lumierestars]

this was so cute and fun, thanks for tagging me @writethatdown you're so so awesomeee!! ❤️❤️

here's what I made:

I love it! tagging @chirpyblues @dragonsblowingoutbirthdaycandles @aureatemoonshine and anyone else who would like to try it out! :)

starting a new tag game using this adorable picrew by @cherrybeez!

i'm tagging @simon-says-nothing @denuri @usuratonkachi-teme @ronniesssss @iamblothhundr @dickmaster420 @faeinthefog @everendb @lovefests @virtuissimo @sonofabitchinshitassmotherfucker and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!!

#picrew

[lumierestars]

a jolt shivers through me

jolt of fear of what will be

questions start flooding

certainty becomes unsure

adept are the hands

of anxiety that take hold

take hold of my being

suffocating it to airlessness

can we somehow please

not have to go through this

and return back to moments

that our hearts called happy

maybe it won't be as bad

as my mind is assuming now

but happy tomorrow does not

mean a today with no worries

~ shreeya. //it's like the walls are caving in//