How can I be happy when everything is falling apart? When it hurts so much? What am I supposed to do?
i know this response is super late and i'm so sorry you're going through what you're going through, dear one. i hope things have gotten a little better and either way i send you so so much love <3
we place a lot of emphasis on being happy and maybe not enough emphasis on the fact that sometimes we won't be and that's actually ok. sometimes we need to feel the hurt deeply before we can come out on the other side. sometimes we're unbearably sad. sometimes things are falling apart—everything is falling apart—and to put on a smile makes it feel worse. sometimes things fall apart and then we view our inability to be happy in the midst of it all as another personal or moral failing to add to the pile when it's really just—being human. sometimes we’re able to find a moment of peace or beauty in something we see or read or experience. sometimes a day just consists of making it through it and trying again until one day you wake up and things have settled inside of you or you get home at the end of the day and realize that you were able to feel happy about something again. it’ll come. the sadness will transform into something different w time. in the meantime know that i’ve been thinking of you and your message and wishing you the best <3
Hi, I hope you’re not getting tired of questions about running :P and I hope you’re doing well.
I want to get back into running, and was wondering what stretches you do before and after.
Also, what’s your favourite time to run?
Thanks, love your blog :)
ahh i’m not really great at describing stretches but if you look up yoga for runners or running stretches on yt you’ll find a ton of really helpful videos! i generally run outdoors so my favorite time to run is when it is nicest (summer: first thing in the morning when it is coolest / winter: middle of day when it is warmest) <3
Hello!!! I just found your blog and I love it so much!!! I love that you have such a wonderful library of poetry and literature 💕 poetry is the best way to connect our heart into concrete terms and can help us through the worst of it all. I love the whole feel of your blog!! You are a gift 💕 I’ve seen a few people ask for some poems, and if I may, I’d like to request for a few from your vast collection on how love never really dies. I recently went through a really peaceful break up and I’ve been trying to cope with that fact that I’m not angry at him and that I’m never not going to love him. I need some poetry for my aching heart. Thank you if you are able to, love! I hope you have a lovely day 💕
— John Berger, Will it be a Likeness? from The Shape of a Pocket
— John Cage to Merce Cunningham, June 29 1943
— Adonis, Selected Poems; “Beginnings of the Body, Ends of the Sea” (tr. Khaled Mattawa)
“But whatever, whenever, however this ends / I want you to know right now, / I love you forever.”
— Andrea Gibson, from The Madness Vase; “How It Ends”
— Mary Oliver, from “Mysteries, yes”
“someone I love is praying in another language / I don’t know all the words but I know / what it means—”
— Linnette Reeman, from “The New Jersey Devil Considers Parallels,” The New Jersey Devil Washes the Blood Off (and other vignettes) (L'Éphémère Review micro-chapbook, 2018)
— Nikki Giovanni, from an interview with Cynthia Adina Kirkwood for Los Angeles Times, Dec 4, 1985
do u have any tips on thinking of running as more of a fun thing for myself and not a punishment? idk my brain categorizes exercise and workouts as punishments for existing and i hate it i wanna enjoy moving
oof yes i get what you mean. everyone has their own relationship w exercise based on their own experiences so here’s all i can say insofar as developing my own relationship w it:
i struggle w anxiety and i can feel the difference in my mental health when i'm able to set goals and get moving. for me that means framing my running routine as self-care, as something that makes me feel better when i’m consistent w it. and that means recognizing that just bc something is difficult doesn’t make it some sort of punishment. if i'm not feeling motivated for a run but it's a run day, i tell myself i just have to start the run and if i can’t or don't want to finish it, i don't have to. more often than not, i finish that run. if i couldn’t finish the run, i know that i’ll get another chance another day and i’m still happy that i tried. we’re human. not every run or workout is going to feel successful or amazing or like we’re making huge amounts of progress and that doesn’t make those runs pointless or failures. the goal is to work on developing a healthy and consistent routine (the same way i had to develop that relationship w music practice). so i don’t set the expectation that every run or workout is going to feel incredible bc that’s just not realistic! and then i don’t feel discouraged when i have a tough run or a week of tough runs, or several weeks of tough runs.
it’s easy to feel frustrated at the beginning of any new challenge bc it takes time to get proficient at anything. we cannot master every single thing we try. that doesn’t make the pursuit of improvement somehow less worthwhile or some sort of sisyphean punishment. also running is not the be-all end-all of exercise. my brother hates running. no amount of reframing it is going to make him love running. but he does love biking and climbing and hiking, etc. putting on an audiobook or a podcast and going for a walk makes the time pass. listening to dramatic film soundtracks and daydreaming makes the time pass (though v important to maintain some awareness of traffic and people around you!! i never run or walk w both earbuds in and my music is always quiet enough to hear everything around me). doing cool kickboxing or body combat or ballet/dance workouts on yt can break up the boredom and make exercise more accessible when it’s too cold out or hot out or you live in a place where running/walking just isn’t feasible or safe. i’ve said this before, but i think the thing that matters the most is listening to our bodies and developing a healthy and sustainable routine. i think how to do that is something personal to each of us. <3
hemnlooo i am wondering if the plan/guide you posted in the ask abt getting back into running is also applicable for first time runners liek mee aaaa if not, do you have any advice? (i also don't work out regularly, but planning too!) thank you in advance tho, i'll be sure to take your advice cus i really wanna boost my self esteem by taking care of myself hihi,, lovelots mwahHh
definitely applicable to first time runners! tbh i don't really see much of a difference between runners who've taken a fair amount of time off and first time runners insofar as the training goes—i used to run 6-7 miles every morning and then fell off the bandwagon for a time. when i was getting back into it at the beginning of this year, that first mile was just as difficult as it was the first time i got into running. i think the nrc 5k training plan could be great for you! it starts with 5-7 minute runs, intervals, and sets a goal of a mile at the end of the first week and then increases from there w your own endurance <3
remember that consistency is the most important thing and that the mark of a successful run is how easily you can recover from it and get back out there—the worst thing is to push yourself too hard and then 1) develop an unhealthy relationship w running and/or 2) get an injury that keeps you from running. listen to your body. if you need to ease up on the pace or slow to walk, let yourself do it. your pace and endurance will increase naturally over time. happy running! <3
he’s a christian martyr…….he’s a representation of trauma……..he stands for the loss of innocence………he is a forgotten saint……..he is a sacrificial victim……….his wounds parallel the wounds of christ……….he is a tragic hero……….he could kill a man…..….he’s never done anything wrong…………he is a girl……..he is the bestest boy………..he is a malewife………he’s a poor little meow meow…………i didn’t say his name but he popped into your head, didn’t he?
any tips for getting into running? pandemic and all i feel like getting back into the swing of it will be hard after a while without it
whew, sorry, this got a little long but i’ve really been loving my running routine this summer so here we go:
honestly the nike run club guided runs have singlehandedly gotten me back into running. i'm following the half-marathon training plan rn bc i thrive off of structure so i know exactly which five runs i'm doing every week and it's amazing! i don't have to think about it! and someone is coaching and motivating me as i run! they also have 5k and 10k training plans!
example of the first week of a 5k training plan on the nrc app:
my biggest tip after also getting back into running is to run in a way that makes you want to get back on the road/trail/track/treadmill again and not in a way that makes you think oh my god running is hell why would i ever do this again. set achievable goals so you’re not constantly feeling discouraged. run as slow as you need to! don’t let anyone else (not even your past self who maybe used to be able to run faster) dictate the pace you feel comfortable at running! embrace the walk-run! go out for a walk and, hey, if you’re feeling it—jog a little bit, walk a little bit, jog a little bit. another classic walk-run: go for a run and if it doesn’t feel good, let yourself walk it out! if you’re feeling a bit better, cramp is gone, breathing and heart rate are under control, run a little bit again!
basically: be consistent, let yourself run at the pace you need, and try not to judge yourself as you are running. if you get out there even 3-4 times a week, you’ll start building an aerobic base and you’ll start building a relationship with running. let your relationship w it be flexible, achievable, and sustainable. at the beginning of this year, i was legit struggling to get through a mile. then i ran the first run guided run on the nrc app, then the next run, then the third run. i slowly began working my way through the guided runs. i hit a mental block at having to decide which run i was going to do every time so i looked up the nrc 14-week half-marathon plan and started following that. i’m on week five now! some weeks i’ve been able to stick perfectly to the training plan and some weeks life happened and i couldn’t stick perfectly to the training plan. and it’s all ok!
my favorite workout music is julien baker :/. running a full kilometer while she sings ‘i wanna let you break my heart’ is either terribly damaging to my mental health or motivating to push myself more
oh god the line between motivation and self-sabotage is fine
As a chill runner I zone out while running like noting exists anymore yknow so I don't pay attention to it
i aspire to your level of chill! i feel like every once and awhile on a sunrise or sunet run i totally get the meditative running and tbh those runs are always so satisfying!! but most of the time i gotta really hype myself up, especially when i know i’m stepping out the door for a long distance run