lyddpoetry

[lyddpoetry]

my relationship with my body changes with the seasons

summer brings obsession my days bleed into one another and my anxieties rise and crash like waves but they all close in around a single thought: “am i getting bad again?” i drink coffee until the afternoon sun burns like the white hot eyes of anyone who glances my way i feed my mother lies when she stops by the house on her lunch break i promise myself i’ll make something to eat after she’s gone i promise myself i won’t go for a run on an empty stomach but then i blink and it’s six pm and i can’t remember if i lied or not i just want to be as beautiful and powerful as the ocean

autumn brings comfort i thrive in skirts and boots and sweaters and i stop looking out of place in my comfort sweatshirts and hoodies i’m back at work so i’m walking again, walking more being on the move helps me feel better about myself until thanksgiving finds me like the ex i should’ve blocked but never did and suddenly i’m wishing i was anyone but me; which is to say i’m wishing i was someone with a normal relationship with food which is to say i wish to be as beautiful and bold as the changing leaves

winter brings apathy the world is as cold as the chill in my bones— too cold to go for long walks around the neighborhood too cold for anything but the pants that are too tight on me now— and i want to hide under piles of blankets i want the world to pass me by until i am ready to thaw into a person again instead of living as a walking greyscale existence instead of longing to be as beautiful and delicate as snow

spring brings hope the days grow longer, the sun brighter and i may not like my body any more than i did last season but at least now it’s warmer outside and i see dogs and flowers blooming on my walks and i can take off my sweatshirt like a snake shedding it’s skin my bare shoulders being kissed by the sun feels like a rebirth i still dream to be as beautiful and lovely as my favorite flowers but these days, sometimes i believe i can be

(cc, 2021)

[lyddpoetry]

A False Promise

dry eyes and hollow words

i utter through my sleepless night

my peace is startled by the drop of a leaf

a twig snapping sends shivers down my spine

as i drag my feet onwards dubiously

ever itching scar marks trailed by chipped nails

the tiredness of a century passing through me

future memories of separation anxiety

sends waves of electricity through my brain

as if the sails had been set to doomed rain and thunder

and the beasts lurked under us, ready to swallow us whole

the idolisation of a shipwreck

as a fly in God's stew

eternally drawn out, i wander in melancholy

of how many ways i can be cast about

all my rests haunted with the dreams of falling off the deck, and torn asunder

by the waves

by the waves that are calling to me

death is good friends with sleep

#poetry #poem #literature #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr

[lyddpoetry]

The Price to Pay

a butterfly with broken wings mirages and hidden scars, the mirror sings a vision, a nightmare, a lie made of all things had me smothered, on the verge of a real beginning

the truth stood dim and silent, as if unaware as if when touched, it would burn me with a flare so there i stood, in an eternal glare at myself, the disfigured figure that stood there right there, chained with fear and despair inside the mirror, a sight to step by, and beware

stuck in this back and forth, hope silently bled pride dropped the last of tears it was meant to shed losses became the gains, with the all the pain, the fire to be fed

a shimmering streak of light struck as hope died, slain as fear, when all is lost, lost it's glorious reign a piece of a soul lost, but it's demise not in vain as rebellion stood now where there was horror, and disdain

#poetry #poets on tumblr #Love Poetry #poem

[lyddpoetry]

An Early Morning Haze

my heart was having a dream where it wakes up falling

my empty mind meets my lifeless stare in the sunrise of a cold winter morning

over opium tea i fell asleep while awake

to the rhythm of raindrops running down my cheeks

trickling down on me like morning dew on blades of grass, inconsistency, the key element in it's nature

and in mine as well

the sunrise was grand in the way that it was eerily mundane

burned holes in my vision

while somewhere a television was left forgotten, telling no one about everything

didn't matter what was or wasn't happening

until the trap snapped shut

the television, buried in silence, in accordance with it's fate

and i fell awake, and left no dream whatsoever in my wake

#poems on tumblr #poem #poets on tumblr #poetry #literature #writing

[lyddpoetry]

Rose

You're but a black rose

buried by luminescence,

sprouting from fragile roots

above the earth's surface;

A seasoned white rose.

Hurting the eyes of a dark sea god,

teasing his fear and worry,

like an incessant itch,

poised and present, you never flinch.

Such strength in your silence -

Daring. Ostentatious.

Disriputing deceptive soot and stones of dust,

undefeated by grovelling tempests.

You are beauty my love,

rebellious frailty, light caregiver...

Everything they couldn't be.

That is why the dark is blind, don't you see?

v.v

[lyddpoetry]

unkept

i’m not really sure who’s been here in my place

  the word unsaid   left an empty bed

but under black light, the semen the saliva

in the closet, tangled hangers on the floor

in a vase on the nightstand, the beauty of 6 dead flowers

  its been many years   and the dream   never changes

the room the promise, unkept

[lyddpoetry]

The Dream

a dream, i wish to be lost inside

when the suffocating fog of reality is lifted with your touch

your claim surrenders my anguish, my pain set aside

overcome by the sparks of magic all through my being

in your presence, my existence comes undone

the forever unsolved puzzle that is my heart comes apart

in your look i find my purpose staring back at me

my yearning, forever begging to start, has met it's maker

now never wants to stop, never wants to cease and desist

you make me grateful for all i had to resist through my tormenting years

for all the times i thought i was lost on the road i walk

all the battles i dragged myself out of was not for naught

such a temptation to believe in fate is unprecedented

for distrust was all i presented to life in your absence

but what greater evidence to divinity is there

than the way your soul completes and exalts mine

my entirety is set alight, bewildered, unbroken and undivided, when i step into my rightful place beside you

oh, what ode could do justice to you

the dream, i wish to be lost inside

#poetry #love poetry #love poem #poems on tumblr #poem #literature

[lyddpoetry]

Steps of Becoming

step on the broken mirror

watch the rage wash over you in the reflection

the ashes of our creation scattered as time shattered within the moment's glory

drag me away, the sun is rising on our chaotic prospects' horizon

watch me carefully, the first step is observatory

as i stride through the symmetry found in reflected light, the storm of our consciousness' rages,

forward like it's meant to swallow the confusion of ages

step towards me , ever so slight,

what was lost and pulled together in the void may never fall apart

leave less and less room for the fright of what's known, this is what the sages did not divine

the predestination that was forever one step too far into the future

a tug of the heartstring that inclines is the second wave,

as my soul wanders through the images of divinity to mumble and rave

it's a ritual of survival, to aimlessly glimpse upon the words that were lost to us

the last step, the secrets of revival revealed as the pretenses melted away

was unity, in all of it's glory, waiting to be found

#poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #love poetry #literature