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lynnnessa · 4 years
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Long Lost Love
It’s crazy 4yrs later and I still think about you and wonder what you’re doing. You know what’s even crazier I still remember the first day I met you, getting dropped off by my mom and dad sitting in the middle of the backseat terrified. My hands were so sweaty and my heart was racing. I had butterflies like I was about to perform but it was all because I was meeting you. I was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt with a khaki colored cardigan, I spent all day trying to find the perfect outfit. I just wanted to be perfect for you, I was so scared that if you saw me in person you weren’t going to like me as much and I was so wrong. Idk about you but that day for me was perfect. You held my hand as we were walking and my hands were still sweaty and you didn’t care. From there on out it was not something to be insecure about we made an insider, do you remember? My sweaty Mexican hands. Omg I have flashbacks of so many moments with you and it’s like if I close my eyes and picture them I feel like I’m in that moment. Every time I have a flashback I make sure to close my eyes bc I want to feel everything, it goes by so quick but any chance I get to see you and feel your presence is so much more for me. I remember the day you left I never begged for something so bad in my life. I begged you not to leave, I needed you.. I thought it couldn’t be real, you telling me you were leaving. I felt something die inside me that night when you finally walked off my porch, got in your car paused for a moment and left. I fell to the ground and cried out. I cried out for you as I was breaking, I felt the pain in my chest. I changed that day. I lost something and I didn’t now how to cope. I never went through that in my life and the only person I had was you. But you knew that, you knew I needed you and you put yourself first. I needed help, and you left me at my lowest. I begged and I tried everything to get you back, I made myself look desperate. I stalked you, I came to your job, I asked your friends about you and you just shut me out. The weird thing is I really did change psychically and I became emotionally dead towards anybody but you. I broke out in cystic acne and started losing weight like crazy. After a year I tried to fill a hole that was impossible to fill. I tried to change my life around and be better for you. I forced myself to work full time and go to school full time. I killed myself doing it and I failed. 4 yrs later I’m sitting here wondering how you are, if you ever think of me and I’m balling my eyes out writing a story that will never be fully understand by anyone but us. I realize why you left and I don’t hate you for it, but what we had what I thought we had was special. I still believe you are my soulmate and the worst thing the universe can do is send you your soulmate at the wrong time. I wasn’t who I needed to be and I wasn’t doing what I needed to do, I wasn’t healthy. I see now that I had to change for me. And no I’m not fully there but day by day I continue to grow and yes I continue to keep you in my heart. Forever and always.
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lynnnessa · 4 years
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lynnnessa · 4 years
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lynnnessa · 4 years
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Teresa never felt this before in that moment she realized she wasn’t afraid to love anymore, she crossed a deep ocean of loneliness just to find David. She was the happiest her she has ever been. David showed her in such little time that it is okay to be her true self and every single part of her would be accepted and it was. This helped Teresa in so many ways, she felt those insecure feelings go right out the window. When she woke up she looked in the mirror and loved every part of the person that was looking back at her. For so many years it was hard for Teresa to believe she was beautiful and even though she had imperfections those made her who she was and that was what made her beautiful in her own way. David took her hand and showed her what he saw when he layed eyes on her. He always reminded her that she was the most beautiful girl in the room. When she was with him, it was nothing but positive. If she walked out of the house in sweats and hair in a bun David still made sure to put a smile on her face by letting her know that she Ben on her worst days she still was exactly what he wanted and he couldn’t be happier walking around with her. Not only did he remind her, he reminded the world. He would scream “everybody look at my sexy wife”. They were everything you could imagine when you think of love.
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