(/¯◡ ‿ ◡)/¯ ~ ┻━┻

hi im maddie~ | she/they | pansexual | 18 yo | currently in thai dramas & figure skating fandoms but also: yuri on ice, given, bnha, bds, hamilton, be more chill, dear evan hansen, tdp, vld, banana fish, danganronpa, obey me, mystic messenger, ddlc, free! and many more~ // MY DASH IS FULL OF THAI DRAMAS SORRY NOT SORRY

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maddieyanchan·7 hours agoText




Is this about anxiety or love


sometimes the heart’s like !!!!!!!! and there’s nothing you can do about it

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maddieyanchan·8 hours agoText

Tag game!

I was tagged by @ohbabycupcakes thank u💖

RULES: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things then tag 10 people + leave comments on all of them

This is gonna be hard, where do I even start?

1) Keith (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Okay I’m- trying not to laugh too hard because oh boy, this show was a complete mess. BUT Keith still stays as one of my favorite characters ever just because no matter how badly I was hurt by vld he’ll always be precious to me 💖 He’s hotheaded, cool and a lone wolf, but needs affection more than anyone else on the team. He’s easy for me to relate to as I am more likely to push someone away than to keep them close just to avoid being hurt as well. His development is amazing tho and I love love him so much 😭 also it might be just that I have a soft spot for emo characters lmao

2) Todoroki Shoto (Boku no Hero Academia)

This just reinforces my statement earlier since Todoroki is pretty emo too :’) But in a different way than Keith. If you are a part of bnha fandom you know he’s generally a little bit overrated, but I couldn’t help falling in love with him at first sight anyway lol His backstory is tragic but he keeps pursuing his dream and damn is he good at it. Also the combo of fire and ice is aesthetic goals. However, what I admire the most about Shoto is probably his loyalty to his friends, his will to fight and sometimes his goofy attitude (even if he probably isn’t aware that he’s being goofy lol) In conclusion: I love him, let’s move on.

3) Uenoyama Ritsuka (Given)

Can I just stop to say how much I love given for a moment? Like I’ve never seen a bl anime/manga that would portray gay characters so respectfully 😭❤️ Ue is basically me gay panicking, I feel the boy so much :’) OH also what’s up with gays & guitars bc first given, then why r u and now also 2gether :’) (I might be falling in love with this trope help) okay so: Ue is panicking when he starts liking Mafuyu but he handles it so well in a way? He doesn’t deny his crush even if he is slow to notice it lol He’s straightforward and sometimes a little bit rough around the edges, but even if he’s supposed to be “the cool guy” we see him in the most hilarious settings and that just makes me love him all the more 💖 he respects Mafuyu and his boundaries and I want more of that in bl anime please

4) Eiji & Ash (Banana Fish)

Uhhhh this anime,,, I CANNOT choose between Ash and Eiji, I’m gonna forever see them as a pair and that’s simply it. Ash is another emo one I would like to say that but he’s actually not. He’s backstory is heartbreaking and the life he has to live is dangerous and scary. He gets used to this reality where he has no one to rely on and no one to trust but then Eiji appears tearing his walls down and making him finally be able to show his soft and sensitive side to someone. Eiji is like a salve for his wounds and yes, I’m still emotional about it bc their relationship is one of the best developped I’ve ever seen. Their bond is so strong it’s beautiful, they would literally die for each other. It’s so apparent that they love each other and care for each other so much (don’t mind me crying in the corner)

5) Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson & the Olympians)

PJ technically got me into fantasy/sci-fi in elementary school and it stays at the top of my favorite book series list ever (big props to Uncle Rick 👏) The whole series is funny and I would say pretty light-hearted even tho you know,,, Percy saves the world several times, lol, usual demigod things™. He’s lovable. Son of Poseidon so he has seaweeds instead of a brain (or so you thought, he is brilliant at strategic planning and has a charisma to be a great leader), has a very good sense of humor, is loyal and would risk everything for his friends. Also he loves his girlfriend very much and I was crying while reading the House of Hades but no one needed to know that oh well. I’m also gonna mention Nico de Angelo here, since he fell in love with Percy (didn’t we all tho) and was the first gay character I saw portrayed in the book and oh do I love him 😭💖

6) 707 (Mystic Messenger)

Was I losing sleep over this game? I was. Do I regret anything? Absolutely not. I think my choices are pretty boring tho, since Seven is literally everyone’s favorite but oh boy there’s a reason for that. Apart from being a talented hacker who knows too much (and I think is cautious of us the most at the start) he has a lovely happy-go-lucky personality composed of all the lame jokes, questions “have you eaten already” and anxiety (another emo one). He’s that type of a character who will always try to make you laugh but you never know what’s going on inside his head. He’s mysterious and we don’t get to know him well till his route so pretty much till the end of the game lol. Also he loves his brother, phd pepper, honey buddha chips and Elizabeth 3rd the most in this entire world and I love him for that

7) Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen)

ANOTHER EMO ONE okay but hear me out Evan has social anxiety and its portrayal is almost too real for me. He makes a big oopsie which at the start seems like a little innocent lie but then snowballs to enormous sizes. He gains everything in this bargain, a best (dead) friend, a caring mother, a father, a girlfriend even - and then everything falls apart since it all is built on one fat lie. He makes a lot of mistakes and then some more but you get it and you feel for him, and you cry with him and you’re happy for him. And when all of this is over you’re glad that he’s still there trying his best, taking it one day at a time. And sidenote: Ben Platt’s voice is angelic and I love him as Evan 💖💖💖

8) Isak (SKAM)

Another gay panicking one. I’m starting to realize there’s a set of traits that I particularly like in fictional characters lol But ye, when I was watching skam ofc it was the third season which gripped me the most and kept me on the edge, bc yet again Isak taking an “are you gay” test was way too real for me. He makes a lot of mistakes along the way of figuring out his sexuality and sometimes stuff with Evan becomes really messy (for both of them) but he stays with him nevertheless ❤️ Skam is literally so good in its portrayal of the characters :’) Anyways: alt er love 💖

9) Viktor & Yuuri (Yuri on Ice)

Em, another one that I absolutely can’t break up to just one bc how could I? Yuri on ice got me into skating ❤️ I went to an ice rink for the first time bc of this anime and I almost died but now look at me actually finishing my first three months of ice skating training and watching real life figure skating competitions :’) Little did I know then. But they’re not only my favourites bc of that, I genuinely love the development of their relationship from fan - idol through skater - couch to lovers and history makers in the end. I love how Yuuri is a ball of insecurities and how Viktor manages to reassure him. I love how Viktor fell in love with drunk Yuuri clinging to him. I love how at first Yuuri wasn’t able to get too close to Viktor without getting flustered and it changes so drastically to them basically always holding onto each other. I love how Viktor was stuck with no inspiration but then Yuuri came and turned his world upside down. I love how they support and respect each other. I could probably go on into eternity like that and Yuri on ice isn’t even the best anime I’ve ever seen but it’s certainly my favourite one ❤️

10) Tutor (WHY R U)

I can’t believe I’m so obsessed with thai dramas rn and I’m only gonna include Tor on this list smh He’s mental attitude inspires me. He’s able to hold so much and appears totally unfazed even if he’s barely holding on inside. He’s hardworking and doesn’t want others to pity him since he can manage it all just fine. He has a kind heart, he’s a wonderful friend (especially to Hwa, he always listens to her, gives her pieces of advise, supports her and tries to cheer her up). He never forgets to say thank you when he genuinely feels grateful. But as we’ve seen he also is passionate and when he loves he LOVES. Also he’s the biggest tease to Fighter and I love him for that :’) I am so satisfied just by seeing him happy, please do not change that whyru gods 🙏

As it appears I’m done .-. I have no idea what have just happened and if my rambling even makes sense but not that I care at this point. If you read this far, please drink some water now, that was a lot of reading to go through ❤️

Tagging: @wir-ro, @saecookie and any other 8 people who might want to ksks (im too tired to tag lmao)

Don’t be like me and go to bed at reasonable hours despite this whole quarantine thing .-. thank again Doreen for tagging since it was really fun 🥺❤️

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maddieyanchan·8 hours agoText

Another quarantine tag game!

Thank you @saecookie dear for tagging 💖💕

Rules: the last photo of a celebrity that you saved to your phone is your current quarantine buddy and then tag people.

Ooookay so let’s see

*drumroll please*




So it is Saint and why am I not surprised :’)

Tbh what would I give to be quarantined with Saint :’))))) *cries in fangirl*

Tagging @ohbabycupcakes, @tharntypesupportclub, @tao-taylor, @izzy-jellybaby, @thehuns-bubble-tea, @wir-ro, @nakyngs, @zeejade88, @ipurple-k-bldramas, @creepywitchy, @onstoryladders and anyone else who wants to ❤️

Stay safe and hydrated, folks, as always 💖

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maddieyanchan·8 hours agoText

Tag game: top 5 (bl) kisses

Thank you @tharntypesupportclub, @ipurple-k–bldramas and @ohbabycupcakes for tagging me! ❤️ (y'all really want me to do the impossible huh) OKAY HERE WE GO


  • list your personal top 5 bl kisses and tag some friends~
  • no honourable mentions :P (thank you tay for making this even harder for me :’))))

All gifs are mine since I spent unnecessary long time to make them all specially for this lol oh also, they are in no particular order bc choosing was hard enough, I can’t rank them .-.

1) Fighter & Tutor - “You make me yearn for it”

What can I say, I’m weak for seductive Tutor ._. This whole scene was an emotional rollercoaster for me, I knew I wasn’t ready for it and I really wasn’t :’) I’m not getting over it anytime soon so I needed to include one of the kisses and lmao this one won. Props to Saint and Zee making this scene so memorable with their acting ❤️

2) Tharn & Type - “Not until you hug me”

I was obsessed with tharntype so I knew I needed to feature one of their kisses here, but which one? Tbh all of them are amazing but I thought of this one first. Maybe because it was the scene when Type already knew about Llong and had his plan figured out and he just,,, wanted a hug from Tharn,,, *cries in a corner*

3) Pete & Kao - “Happy anniversary”

Dark Blue Kiss was my first drama and I was crazy about petekao lol So when they finally kissed I was squealing and rolling over my bed like a little child :’) It was just so soft okay and the whole setting of this scene? I am so soft for all that cheesy anniversary stuff Kao did uh T_T This kiss just made it even more perfect ❤️

4) Pharm & Dean - “I understand that we love each other”

THIS SCENE. I WAS CRYING. I STILL AM. We were literally waiting for this moment the whole time because we knew there’s something going on and when this finally happened I was so happy T_T I love how shy Pharm gets in this scene uwu But the whole aesthetic is also *chef’s kiss*

5) Ae & Pete - “We both are jealous of each other”

I miss lbc ._. And I miss aepete ;;; Each of their kisses is so soft, even their “steamy” scenes are somewhat soft to me T_T And I love their communication - they just had a full talk to clear any misunderstandings between them and do I stan them for that? I definitely do. This kiss was one of many soft and respectful ones and I love it so much❤️

Uhhhh it’s not a honorable mention because it’s technically not a kiss (right? xd) but

I felt shivers when I was watching this scene. The fact that Fighter never had anyone that would care for him or just be simply kind to him so he values Tutor for all those little gestures he does? Broke my heart, that’s why I needed to include it here as well 💖

Aaaand that would be about it. I took too much time for this I have no idea why (It was so difficult to choose 😭😭) I’m tagging @wir-ro only because I think everyone else I could tag got tagged already and also I’m gonna pester her about it the most lololol (be ready dear you must suffer with me xpp)

Thank again for tagging me uwu ❤️❤️❤️ Stay hydrated and have a good one 💖

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maddieyanchan·a day agoText


April fools is tomorrow but 2020 is a joke anyway so what’s the point

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maddieyanchan·a day agoText


Happy trans day of visibility to everyone celebrating, i hope you all have a great day today even in the hard times we are going through right now. You deserve to be celebrated and recognize and be the light that burns through out the darkness, and make sure to be good to yourself

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