I am nothing more than myself
And maybe that's what I hate the most about myself
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And I go to sleep to avoid missing you
But every night it lies down under the covers with me
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Your absence makes me want to drink alcohol
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And sometimes I wonder
If you would come to my funeral
If you'd pretend to love me for just one more day
As if you had ever loved me
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And maybe I never wanted to write about you
Because whenever I write about someone it means I have to say goodbye
And I don't want to say goodbye to you
But I don't really have the right to decide that anymore, right?
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And whenever someone speaks of love, my mind goes straight to you
As if you were my synonym for love
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A girl at the clinic has exactly the same tattoo as you
As if the world doesn't want me to forget you
As if I could ever forget you
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What if I don't want it to stop hurting
Because the pain of missing you is the only thing that gives me certainty that there really was love between us
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Do you know the feeling
When you're trying to gasp for air like a fish in the sand and nothing can reach you
You're suffocating while your lungs are working
You're slowly dying while your heart keeps beating
You know that feeling when everything inside you breaks so quietly you think you're going deaf
It's like taking a breath under the surface of the water
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And when you said you loved my manic self
something broke inside me
Cause you know everybody loves my manic me
But that's not me
I am melancholic, anxious, sad, shy, much too quiet & much too loud, impulsive, too serious
or maybe just me
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Who am I?
Like please tell me who I am
Because lately I feel like I'm just a copy of all the people I meet.
Like I'm just a shapeless mass that conforms to the templates that all these fleeting encounters put on me.
I feel like I've been copied.
So please tell me
Who am I?
Because honestly I can't feel myself lately
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Latley I am so afraid of my demons
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The deep sadness that has filled me in the last few days has no name
At least none that I know
Yet it is familiar to me like an old friend I would welcome & ask to stay a while
If only I knew her name
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Everything you do
is art my Love
So do yourself more often
Honey 💋
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Don't worry Honey
I am never alone
My demons never leave me
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