sup I'm J ~ she/her ~ bi ~ 16

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madlymercury·8 hours agoText

gayarsonist:

gayarsonist:

gayarsonist:

i dont think im the protagonist. im the antagonist.

not in an edgy “ooh ahh im evil im a villain” way. i just create problems and obstacles for anyone who encounters me.

people meet me and are inevitably worse off for it

I’m the side character who calls at really inconvenient moments

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madlymercury·9 hours agoAnswer
Did u grow up without a positive male influence

didnt everyone

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madlymercury·9 hours agoText

Personally I think the Italians were right, I could use some pasta right now

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madlymercury·11 hours agoPhoto

monpetitcabbage:

rainfallinhell:

creppysponge:

blackgirlsparadise:

How….?

STEVEN RUSSELL WAS A FUCKING GENIUS. 

  • Originally arrested for Insurance Fraud, he met the love of his life Phillip Morris in prison
  • He got out before Phillip, so he proceeded to GET PHILLIP OUT OF PRISON
  • He wanted to give Phillip a glamourous life, so he got a big-name job, and then started embezzling funds
  • he was arrested and then broke out TWICE MORE and kept busting out
  • then he was arrested again, and the above happened
  • while he was on the run from this, he was determined to get Phillip (who was in trouble for harboring him) out of prison so he pretended to be a lawyer and hit up Phillip’s jail 24/7. He tried to get Phillip moved to a prison closer to where he was hiding so he couLD VISIT HIM
  • AND THEN he made a fake identity and tried to get a 75k loan, and was arrested AGAIN, but he FAKED A HEART ATTACK AND LEFT BEFORE HE WAS EVEN PLACED IN PRISON AGAIN
  • There’s a movie about his life called “I love you, phillip morris” Starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor

Seriously go watch I Love You Philip Morris, it’s literally just a “be gay do crime” rom com there’s no killing your gays or angsty plot messes, the comedy is amazing and it’s sweet and I’d die for it

guess what’s going on my to watch list now

madlymercury
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madlymercury·18 hours agoPhoto

mysteryskulllistener-blog:

tropicalfucko:

bruddabois:

thotzekage:

What the fuck

This comes around every thanksgiving for like 3 years running now and it activates my fight or flight response

The only thing I trust is the cake but there’s a huge cursed vibe like a god of chaos and disorder decided to have a photoshoot and this is the result

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madlymercury·a day agoText

faslaidir:

Why must we respond to two classmates? Why? Is it not enough that I typed 250 words of my own own bland fucking bullshit without having to say some more bland fumkin bullshumk to a classmate’s equally blund fuhnki bumshulk? “Hi Diane, Love that you and your faceless icon turned up today. I also agree that plagues in history were awful. That’s a really good point Diane thank you.” I’m gonna throw my laptop jesus crisp

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madlymercury·a day agoText

kristina100000:

next time i go to a party post quarantine im accepting every drug they offer me

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madlymercury·2 days agoText

rosecolouredheart:

Maybe my life wouldn’t be better if I had magic powers but I’d at least have different, sexier problems.

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madlymercury·2 days agoPhoto

6qubed:

sexhaver:

two sick horses evaluating an orb

“it floats”

“don’t like that”

madlymercury
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