one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
also somwtimes when you dont understand a piece of art it's not bc ur dumb it's bc you havent had the very particular emotional experience that it's trying to invoke in you and you just cant relate. which is also why sometimes you will hear a mountain goats song and say Meh and then you go through some shit and you listen to it again and lose your fucking mind at how real and raw it is. art is how we communicate with each other about experiences that cannot be adequately represented straightforwardly with language. sometimes you have to abstract your representation of the experience in order to truly communicate how big and insane it felt
y’all better learn how to stop saying “kill yourself” to each other and “i’m gonna kill myself” to yourself and start enjoying the garden of life or i’m going to rip you apart and then i will plant you in the earth and you will become a tree. what will you do with these cruel urges then, hm? when you are a walnut tree. you’ll be making walnuts
you see this is why I can't be around fictional cult leaders because I WILL be manipulated by them and next thing you know I'm gonna put my friends on a witch trial /j