mailfull - Tumblr blog

mailfull · 2 years

Text

want you here

pairing: wakatoshi ushijima + female!reader

content: wakatoshi's never sent nudes before and he hopes he's doing it right

author's notes: SOBSOBCRYCRYSCREAMING screaming crying throwing up,,, fellow wakatoshi stans, if you wanna be friends, hit me up bc FDSJFASJK i am S U F F E R I NG writing for this MAN.

continuation found here

MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT!! please be respectful and do not interact!!

A lot of men send dick pics… A lot of men send videos…

Not Wakatoshi though.

He’s never felt the need to.

Or that’s what he tells himself.

Because he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know how he would even go about doing it.

Because what does he even do exactly? Does he just send you a picture of his cock? Does he have to do it at a certain angle? Does he have something next to it to compare it to?

Even though you’ve been dating for a couple years, is he even allowed to send you a picture or send you a video? He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable – but this trip for sponsors is making him miss you terribly.

He knows he’ll get to come home to you again in just a couple days, but he misses you. He misses your little adorable smiles and giggles. He misses the way you squeak when he lifts you up off the ground and spins you around when he’s won a match and you run out to him on the court. He misses the way he hugs your waist from behind in the kitchen and you have him be your test subject and you spoon feed him new recipes you’re trying.

He misses the way your soft, supple body feels against him when you’re under him. He misses the way you whine and whimper when he teases you (but he always gives in before too long – you tend to make him cave so quickly). He groans lowly as he remembers what happened before he had left for this trip – you riding him in the back of the car before the flight – the pitch black windows concealing what was happening from passers-by. You had sniffled and sobbed about how much you’d miss him and he tried to calm you by kissing your tears away and reminding you it would only be a week, but it had escalated into him having to run through the airport at the end, because he couldn’t just leave his poor, sweet beautiful baby without filling her up.

Wakatoshi’s heart swells while he tells his teammates goodnight before they go to their separate hotel rooms, because he knows what will come next. Wakatoshi has been calling you every night to talk to you, even though you two are texting each other throughout the day every day so far. You talk so much more than he ever has, but he loves that about you. Your voice has a calming quality to it as you go about telling him about your day and he has you on speakerphone as he undresses.

You make him laugh as you tell him a funny story about what you and your best friend did today, and he’s putting his dirty clothes in that all too tiny laundry bag the hotels offer. He brings his phone into the bathroom with him when he takes a shower, your voice over the phone making him feel like you’re really there. You have a bad habit of running in and out of the bathroom at home while he’s showering after practice sometimes, but in your defense, your shitty reality shows has you bouncing with details you can’t wait to tell him. He finds it adorable though.

Because of his build, clothes are uncomfortable to him sometimes, so he likes to sleep without any. He smiles to himself when he untucks the comforter and top sheet from the bed, because you’re talking to the cat that you had adopted about a year before you met him, which by association was now his as well since he moved in a year ago. You’re telling her that ‘I JUST fed you’ and ‘No, Daddy isn’t here to feed you whatever you want’ and ‘Do you wanna talk to Daddy?’.

Wakatoshi chuckles when he hears little ‘mrrps’ and ‘reows’ on the other end of the phone.

“She wants you to come home.” You tell him, putting her back down on the floor.

“Oh?” He says, “And you don’t?”

“We both want you to come home…” You correct yourself, falling back onto the bed and throwing your hand over your eyes.

His laugh makes your whole body shimmer with need.

An hour has passed and he knows he should be going to sleep because he has to be up asininely early, but he likes to stay on the phone with you until you’ve drifted off to sleep – your cute lil’ snores being his lullaby as he himself becomes too tired to stay awake any longer.

You let out a yawn after you finish telling him about your day, and your voice has taken on a different quality now – Wakatoshi can’t exactly put his finger on it, but there’s something about it when you’re a little more tired that gives it a more sultry quality.

He rubs his hand up and down over his chiseled stomach, watching his cock stir to life. He tries to ignore it, but it only grows and throbs more the more you talk in that obliviously sensual way. He pictures how you probably are right now. You like to sleep in his clothes when he’s away so you probably are swimming in one of his t-shirts, nothing underneath it.

“I miss you…” He murmurs, tucking his phone between his shoulder and ear.

His thumb circles the head of his cock as precum dribbles out, and he unhurriedly spreads it around.

“I miss you too…” You whisper back into the phone.

And Wakatoshi doesn’t know what overcomes him, but he wants you to see him like this right now. He wants you to see how he’s under your spell so easily and how much he needs you right now.

“May I send you a video?”

You move your arm away from your face and blink up at the ceiling.

“Of what?”

You sit up, reaching for your soda on the nightstand. He’s taking a moment to answer you, so you’re wondering just exactly he’s up to. You hear a grunt over the phone as you twist the cap off your soda and bring it your lips.

“My naked body.” He’s breathless.

You spill your soda all over yourself, hoping Wakatoshi didn’t hear, but your sudden swearing gives it away. Because you definitely shouldn’t be having it this late when you’ve got work in the morning, but he isn’t here and so he can’t stop you, can he? Will you regret it later when you can’t sleep!? Probably! Are you still gonna do it?? Of course.

Wakatoshi worries he’s upset you – he knew this was a possibility that you wouldn’t want to be sent a picture of a video, but he can’t lie, his heart hurts a little bit.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his hand stilling.

“Yeah!” You’re a little agitated because you’ve spilled soda all over your favorite Toshi sleep shirt – the one that still has traces of your favorite cologne on him.

You slip the shirt over your head and toss it into the hamper, and then fling yourself down on the bed on his side, inhaling deeply and trying to take in his natural scent through his pillow. Two more days… Just two more days without him.

“Do… Do you not… Do you not want a video?” He asks when you haven’t said anything else.

You completely forgot why you spilled soda all over on you in the first place.

“Of course I do. Why would you think you couldn’t?”

“I heard women don’t like receiving things like that. I want your permission first.”

“Baby, we’ve been together for two years and we’ve fucked hundreds of times… Yes, of course you have my permission.” You roll over onto your back.

“Okay,” He says, “I’ll call you back in a little bit.”

What? Why doesn’t he just FaceTime?? And then you remember how adorably and horribly inept your sweet big boyfriend is to electronics, so you sit there and patiently wait.

About fifteen minutes have passed and you’re scrolling through Instagram when you get a notification that Wakatoshi has sent you a video.

The thumbnail makes you want to throw your phone across the room.

When Wakatoshi hangs up, he can’t lie, he panics because now he doesn’t know what he should do. Here he is, his cock in his hand and he’s looking around the room wondering where he should actually do this for you. He looks in front of him and the large mirror with nothing in front of it that shows his image back to him of him reclining on the bed gives him an idea.

He scoots himself to the edge of the bed, his feet planting firmly on the plush carpet below. He spreads his legs wide enough that he’s comfortable and opens up the camera on his phone, his leaky wet cock head filling the screen immediately. He’s wondering why his camera lens is so zoomed in, but he remembers he had taken a picture of a cute dress in a local shop that he wanted to buy for you before he left.

He zooms out, adjusting the angle and praying to god that he’s doing this right. The way he’s holding his phone, it looks like you can see what he’s doing from his point of view but also you can see everything in the mirror.

He moans low when he remembers how much you like it when he fucks you with just the tip, his hand returning to his cock now. Your little pussy grips it so well as the head of his cock just goes back and forth, sucking him in and trying to make him stay in when he pulls back out, and you’re trembling as your fingers shakily play with your clit and he’s holding on to your ankles, bending your legs and keeping you there, the ache delicious as he holds you there and only fucks you with his fat head.

He loves the squelching noises that happen every time he pulls out, his thick cock head shiny and wet as you beg him to quit teasing you, your cunt puffy and shiny with slick as it makes it’s way down between your ass cheeks and onto the sheets below. He loves when he spreads your legs apart, still holding you up, and he moves his huge cock between your little folds, the entire length of his cock giving you constant stimulation to your clit and you’re making his balls sticky with your slick as he continues to move.

And you’re crying and sobbing and shaking when he teases you like this, and he loves that he has this control over you because he’s not even properly fucking you. But at the same time he hates it because he’s the one who’s under your spell. It takes all his self control to not grab at you and thrust into you so deep that you take it all in one movement, your tears staining your face and you sobbing into his cheek as you tell him it’s so big but you’re still begging him to keep going.

Two more days… Just two more days away from you.

You stare wide-eyed at the thumbnail below you, still not clicking on it. That bastard man. That big tiddied tall bastard man having the audacity to send the spiciest fucking nude you’ve ever been sent and you can’t see him for another two whole days.

You press play and immediately stop breathing when a particularly loud groan blasts from your phone speaker, you quickly turning your volume down and hoping the neighbors didn’t hear it. You continue to watch as Wakatoshi’s strong hand moves up and down his fat cock, tight strokes happening as his hips cant upwards.

Your fingers tremble as you turn up the volume a little bit more, and Wakatoshi’s heavy breathing fills the air.

“W-want you here…” He moans.

You don’t know where to look because while you want to watch his body in the mirror, you can’t stop staring at his forearm moving at the side of the screen. The veins in his arms bulge and he groans a little louder as he’s got his cock in a vice grip now, slow and steady strokes. There’s something so wildly intimate about seeing him like this from two different points of view.

You want to scream because you glance up at this reflection in the mirror and see there’s more than enough space for you to be between his legs, and you’re desperately wishing it was you there instead of his hand. You loved it when he slapped his cock against your face lightly, his masculine natural scent surrounding you and you becoming drunk on it as your nails dug into his thighs. You loved when while you were deepthroating him, his large hands would gently sweep your hair away from your face, holding it up for you and making it into a makeshift ponytail, your little mewls making his body feel like it was on fire as you tried to fit all of him in your mouth. You would end up gagging on it, of course, he was just so big, but you still tried your best.

Your cheeks burn as Wakatoshi continues to talk over the video, his hand focusing on the head of his cock now, moaning about how your little mouth feels so good when you’re stroking him with your hand and his balls are in your mouth, he says he loves it too when he’s watching you struggle to take all of him and he loves the little faces you make.

“F-fuck…” His posture changes, as he tries to sit up more, “Cu- I’m cu--.”

You hold your breath as Wakatoshi’s hand moves faster now and he chokes on a grunt when cum paints his abdomen, his stomach muscles tensing as he has his cock in a death grip. He groans and you watch more cum fly out, and you involuntarily moan when you hear a squish as some of it lands higher on his torso, his phone amplifying the sound.

You’re speechless as you watch his reflection breathing heavily in the mirror before he throws himself back onto the bed and you see the ceiling of his room before the video ends.

You close the video and see the text he had sent right after he sent the video.

You don’t have to, but I would like it very much if you sent one back.

You shout when your phone falls down and onto your face.

#BRO I AM SCREAMING!!#fic had me blushing #i havent had to put my habd over my mouth when reading a fic in years #screaming crying on the floor #ushijima smut #ushijima wakatoshi smut #wakatoshi smut #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima

3K notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

A Mailfull Masterlist

Haikyuu

Bokuto Kotaro:

Runaway Bride

Yandere! Bokuto x Fem! Reader

4.6k

Years can go by, but he'll never forget

TW/CW: Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Forced Marriage, Stalking, Yandere, Implied Non Con

You're not His Biggest Fan HCs:

Haikyuu Boys x GN! Reader

You love your boyfriend to death, but even you are a fan of other people

Yandere HCs:

TW/CW: Yandere, Stalking, Mentions of Masturbation (.m), violence, dub con

Kurou Tetsuro:

A Drunk Man's Actions

Kuroo Testuro x Fem! Reader

1.9k

Kuroo trying to convince Kenma's Fiance to sleep with him, if only for one night

TW/CW: Cheating, Angst

Osamu Miya:

Food is a Love Language

Osamu Miya x Fem! Reader

2.5k

Osamu attempting to woo the manager of the Black Jackals with Onigiri.

JJK

Nanami Kento

For the Right Price

Submissive! Sugar Daddy! Nanami x Femdom! Reader

5.3k

He wants something from you, and anything can be done for the right price.

TW/CW: Femdom, BDSM, Sugaring, Oral (f. receiving), chest/nipple play (m. receiving), Unprotected Sex, Creampies

MHA

Bakugo Katsuki

Lovely Delusions

Kirishima Eijiro x Fem! Reader x Yandere! Bakugo Katsuki

3.9k

Fiction and reality have a tendency to merge.

Warnings: Yandere, Stalking, Bullying, Extreme Violence, Injury, Mentions of Blood and Bruises

6 notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

Ngl, I just had the greatest idea, it's gonna be a full fic, I just had to put it out there:

Yandere! Kirishima x Reader x Yandere! Bakugo

They're both madly in love with you and your best friends, but you don't seem to notice their attraction to you. Rather, you've got your heart set on another boy.

The pro hero Suneater, Tamaki, who you've been crushing on since highschool. Bakugo and Kirishima were at each other's throats before you mentioned finally asking him on a date, but now they'd rather have you together, instead of letting him take you.

On your date with him, things are going well, until a random girl comes up and kisses him on the lips, claiming to be his girlfriend that he's been hiding. The deceit leaves you distraught, forcing you back into the arms of your two best friends, who will always welcome you.

#short letters #yandere x reader #yandere my hero academia #Yandere my hero #yandere mha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere bakugo x reader #yandere Kirishima x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader

92 notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

To those people who like almost all my works, then reblog them, then follow me: I fucking love you <33333

#my letters #got me kicking my feet #twirling my hair #i see yall

0 notes

mailfull · 2 years

Note

kiri and bakugo would be so cool for your idea about yanderes going from competing to working together!! :)

I was genuinely thinking the same thing! But I already have like two other Kirishima stories in my wips and I didn't want you guys to feel like you were getting overloaded with him!!

#anon letter #im probably still gonna write it #i might do all of them because i have different ideas for each character

1 note · View note

mailfull · 2 years

Text

I had this idea for two Yanderes competing for their darling before deciding to band together for their love. So like, it goes from love triangle to polyamory, but I can't decide who between:

Bokuto and Akaashi

Kirishima and Bakugo

Todoroki and Midoriya

Kenma and Kuroo

Kageyama and Hinata

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #yandere haikyuu #yandere bnha

8 notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

headcanon: osamu pierced his nipples in high school to prove atsumu he’s not a pussy

#as a pierced nipple osamu fan this is the best thing I've ever seej in my entire life #i am literally screaming #GOOD GOD #Osamu miya #haikyuu osamu #i am so in love rn

540 notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

Talking About All of My Fics!

This is literally just me mentioning things about my fic that I couldn't work into the fic or that I just wanted to talk about, mostly because I have so much shit to say about these fics

Order: goes from oldest to newest, full fics to head cannons

Full Fics:

A Drunk Man's Actions

This one went through a lot of work. It initially was just going to be what the synopsis said, a little flirting, a little sex, maybe a little regret afterwards, but after I wrote that first line: A woman as gorgeous as you deserves to be worshipped, I knew I could do something different.

I came up with the ending for Kuroo faking drunk literally at the last minute, technically speaking, I came up with the reader even saying no at the last minute, because I'd started to write steamy stuff before asking myself: "How can I make this hurt more?" Because I changed the story literally at the end, I had to go back and change any mentions of Kuroo drinking more, or of the reader being completely interested as well. A lot changed in the story, but it turned out super super good as a result and I actually love it more than if it was just smut.

Tease Me

I actually wrote Tease Me for a collab on my old account, but it didn't work out. The collab ended up falling apart before I could finish, and I was stuck with this half done fic in my wips. I always said I was gonna finish it, but never got around to it until recently.

As far as I can tell, the story never delved or changed from what I originally had planned, but it is a pretty simple story, and by the time I'd started completing it, I'd basically already had most of it finished.

For the Right Price

I've been writing and rewriting this same story for almost a year and I still can't say it's what I wanted it to be. I can't fault the story though, I'm just indecisive.

I had a lot of different ways the story was going to start, with the reader working at a gas station or a convenience store, I still kinda don't know where the reader works tbh. I do know that the reader in the story was heavily based on me and my experiences though, not the hot guy coming in and begging to be dominated for money though, my life isn't that great.

But I am very much a fem dom, and I have a tendency to yell. I'm hoping that will get me somewhere someday.

I feel like Nanami calling the reader madam might seem strange too, it was originally going to be ma'am before I changed it. I felt that madam was a bit more sophisticated.

Also it got mentioned in the fic, but I couldn't figure out how to work it in, so I'll just put it here: the line about Nanami liking heels wasn't just a one off thing, I believe that this version of Nanami genuinely likes heels in a sexual way. I'd planned to do more with it, but I couldn't get it in in a way that felt more natural.

Food is a Love Language

I guess I've always kinda been thinking about this story in the back of my head because of my love for Osamu, because I am a bitch that loves a man that likes food. I guess the reason I even wrote that short little thirst was because I was testing the waters to see if anyone would like the idea as much as I did, and much to my surprise, people did.

The fic went through a lot of changes. For the first rendition, the manager was a bit shyer and on the quiet side, I wrote that she and Osamu knew each other, but they didn't talk much, mostly because Osamu barely noticed her. But in the fic the whole team goes to his restaurant and he sees her eat for the first time and falls in love with the face she makes when she's enjoying food. A cute idea, but I couldn't get behind it completely. I wanted it to be more of a love at first sight thing, not him suddenly falling in love with her after knowing her for probably months.

The second idea I wrote was just a bit too creepy. Same idea as the fic I wrote, except the manager wasn't into it. I had to take a step back and realize that that's weird and she kinda has to like it for it to work. It could've gone down the yandere path real quick.

Finally we get to the story we have today. Atsumu being added in was perfect, because the story ended up being about familial love and romantic love as well. I especially like the part where Atsumu is shit talking Osamu, but he still looks excited to see him. Also, the idea for Atsumu being the one hiding the onigiri was a last minute change that felt necessary. I had a moment where I asked myself, "How the fuck would Osamu get in the gym every morning to hide an onigiri?" Before I just decided to have his brother be the middleman.

Lovely Delusions

Would you believe me if I said that the first half of Lovely Delusions was written two years ago?

I literally just started writing it out of the blue one day, but once I hit a part where I didn't know where to go, I kinda gave up and said I'd come back later. I never came back.

I had a lot of ideas, as I do for most stories, but for this one, I'll say, the core never changed. Bakugo in love with the reader, reader in love with Kirishima.

I had a lot of ways that I was going to have Bakugo keep the reader away from Kirishima, one of them included him actually pretending to be his friend, which of course would've made him happy, but then I just kinda settled in him beating the ever living shit out of Kirishima, it felt more in character.

There was also a scene that I couldn't work into the story, that I will write later, where Kirishima and the reader go one a date to an aquarium. It's supposed to be cute, but Katsuki is watching the whole time, messing everything up when they're trying to get closer.

Also also, fun fact: the reader's "concussion" was based on a concussion that I'd had. I'm not sure if that's 100% what they feel like, but I do remember hitting my head really hard once and my vision going white and my ears ringing.

Runaway Bride

THIS STORY! BRO!

I've been writing this story in my head for fucking years. Just the idea of being stalked across the country is actually batshit insane to me and I knew I had to write something for it.

One of the biggest changes in the story actually came from my brother, of all people. The reader working in a fancy hotel came from the idea of my brother working in a fancy hotel. She was initially going to work in a shitty restaurant, but that felt so cliche and I couldn't figure out what else to do.

The idea to have her work in a hotel literally just came from the fact that we were pulling into his job and it hit me!

I told my brother I was writing a stalker story based on a person writing in a hotel and he actually gave me the climax of the story.

"You should have him be hiding in the closet. That actually happened up here once, it was super fucking weird." He told me that shit and everything clicked into place!!

Nothing big really changed. The girl that Bokuto was with was a very last minute addition, I just felt like it added something to the story. Hinata was also a last minute addition, I wanted him to be a warning sign that the reader doesn't notice. If she could've realized where she knew him from earlier, I think she would've escaped.

Short Fic:

Yandere HC:

Bokuto: no change, my boy is an attention whore!

Hinata: in terms of Yanderes, he was the hardest to write. But I always had this idea about him itching in the back of my head, mostly because I think Hinata is fucking adorable, so I asked myself: "How could he use that to his advantage?"

Kyoutani: also no change! Out of all of my favs, he's the most aggressive and I wanted to show it. I just love having to give him a kiss everyday!

Kenma: A fucking creep and I love him. Honestly, I think this was one of the first ones that I'd had a sure fire idea of what was going to happen. I kinda knew that Kenma was going to be the stalker of the bunch. The thing with the clothes was actually my first idea for him, but I thought that sneaking into your bedroom was a bit much.

Oikawa: I wanted him to feel the least yandere if that makes sense. He's still a fucking creep, but I wanted him to feel as normal as possible from the outside looking in.

You're not His Biggest Fan:

Bokuto: I had a lot of ideas of who was going to be Bokuto's character foil. It was going to be Hinata at first, but I was already writing a section for Hinata so it felt weird. Atsumu was a good choice though, because the ending line of the reader only liking him for his play style makes more sense with him.

Hinata: his original rival was going to be Kageyama, but I wanted to use Kageyama for Oikawa. Ushijima was a good second choice and I just love his entire hatred for the poster.

Oikawa: There was originally going to be a whole Tobio shrine before I toned it down to just a keychain. Be grateful.

Kenma: he's not actually in this one, but I did have this whole idea for him that I thought was better as a full fic. He was going to see that you were a fan of another streamer and get super jealous, but not know how to voice it. Super cute idea, I just knew that if I started writing it, I wouldn't stop.

#my mail #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut #yandere haikyu x reader #yandere haikyuu #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere my hero academia

5 notes · View notes

mailfull · 2 years

Text

Runaway Bride

Yandere! Bokuto Kotaro x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Synopsis: Years can go by, but he'll never forget

TW: Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Forced Marriage, Stalking, Yandere, Implied Non Con

You remembered what his face looked like the night you left, it was hard not to remember. He was knocked out cold, drool sliding down his lips and loud snores escaping from his mouth. The room was black, pitch black even, the only light coming in from the moon that was shining down on his face and a thin strip of unnatural light coming from the door that was cracked. It was silent other than his snores, so quiet that you were sure he would hear you, but you knew that wouldn’t happen.

The pills you snuck into his drink had long since taken effect. He was so drowsy after a couple sips, holding his head and blaming it on the new liquor that he was trying.

“This stuff might be stronger than I thought,” He slurred, a hand on his forehead trying to stop the spinning.

“Yeah, maybe,” You said, trying not to have the excitement show in your voice. You took the glass from his hand, sitting it down on the table in front of him, all the while, your heart was beating out of your chest. You hoped he wouldn’t feel the way your heart was thumping as you wrapped his arm around your shoulder and guided him to the bed. After all he’d done, after everything that happened, you were still so surprised by the fact that you cared enough to put him to bed. Leaving him there was a better option, letting him fall asleep with his head back against the couch. It would’ve saved you time, but you still put him to bed.

Mentally you cursed, fighting with yourself about whether or not you could go through with this. Why couldn’t you go through with this? You knew who he was and what he’d done, and yet this guilty feeling was still forming over your heart, beckoning you to just climb back into the bed with him and pretend the escape attempt never happened. You’d wake up in the morning and cook him breakfast, probably even get him some pain killers, a headache was a side effect of the pills. Then you’d be his loving housewife.

Smile when he wanted. Kiss him when he wants. Cheer for him when he needed it. Clean for him. Cook for him. Service him with your body whenever he requires it. You were to be Bokuto’s loving housewife, but you hated it. You thought you hated it. You remembered hating it.

Shaking the thought from your head before you had the chance to let it simmer, you stood from the bed. Every creak of the floorboard towards the bedroom door sounded like an explosion in your ears. The light from the hall felt like your saving grace, something in you told you, that when you got to the light, you'd be away, you'd be free.

You took one final glance at his sleeping face. The way his chest rose and fell, the way he snored. Your heart was beating so hard you could feel it in your fingertips, but you still flipped the light switch, finally basking the apartment into darkness.

Two years. That's how long you and Bokuto had been "together". You say together with quotation marks because you didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

It started sweet, as most things do. He matched with you on a dating site and the two of you flirted on the phone for hours. That first night was magical, the way you texted while kicking your feet, holding your phone as you waited for his next flirty message. It was almost two in the morning before the both of you finally decided that it was time for bed. You were adults after all, not highschoolers with their first crush.

You were sure you were being catfished. The guy in the picture was far too attractive to be on a dating app. His pictures, they were out of this world. Especially the ones he took shirtless, fresh out of the shower or right after an intense workout. His body was so large and firm, thick arms and a big chest. His toned stomach drew your eyes lower and lower until you reached the v that was just before the bulge you were seeing beneath the fabric.

But his face. You smiled when you saw it. He had the face of an angel. A gentle, childish smile with big wide eyes that seemed obsessed with the world around him. The way they sparkled with such whimsicality, you felt them peering into your soul, beckoning you closer. He looked so sweet and gentle, even if his body looked as if it was built to kill.

The first date he took you one was hell, but in the best way. In the way that you’d tell someone about it jokingly and they wouldn’t understand why it made you so happy. It rained so hard that the rooftop restaurant he wanted to take you to was forced to close, throwing his intial plans down the drain. One of the fancy heels you'd bought just for that date had broken. Pain shot through your ankle as the rain drenched your clothes. You dropped to the ground, not prepared for your foot to feel like it was pulled beneath you, embarrassment and rain on your face.

You looked up at him. He was getting equally as soaked. His hair that he usually kept gelled up, had fallen and was sticking to his forehead. You thought that this would be the end of it. The super hot guy you'd met was going to be nothing more than a story to tell your friends, a story where you'd tell them how it didn't work. But Bokuto was full of surprises, the way he laughed at you on the ground told you that much.

"Here you go, babe," he chuckled, taking his jacket off and placing it over your head, protecting you from the rain. He crouched down in front of you, his back towards you and his arms behind himself to hold you, "Hop on, I'm sure there's something we can do. A little rain never killed anyone.”

Hesitant didn't even begin to describe how you felt as you crawled into his back, your legs wrapping around his waist. He didn't rush you though. Even though the rain was soaking through his button down shirt and making it transparent, he didn't care. He waited for you and when you were secure, he hopped up bouncing you slightly on him.

The world felt different from that high up. The sky felt closer. Rain was pattering against your cheeks and your ankle was throbbing, but all you could see was how beautiful the world was. How beautiful he was. His eyes still had that sparkle in them. It wasn't fake. It wasn’t something just for the pictures. You kissed his cheek and watched him look at you in surprise, then flush with a childish embarrassment.

It was the worst date of your life. And you loved every second of it.

Two years. Two whole years you spent with him. Two years, that from the outside, looked like heaven. He was a provider, a kind, sweet, and honest boyfriend who bought you whatever you wanted and loved you just as much as he did since the beginning. People dreamed of a relationship like the one you had. But no one saw you slowly losing more and more freedom over those years, until you eventually lost yourself.

It started with him scrolling through your phone. It was cute at first. Bokuto's large hands holding your phone, you'd see him when you were coming out of the shower and you assumed he was just taking pictures, he had a tendency to do that. You’d scroll through your gallery and suddenly come upon a myriad of pictures of a certain gray haired boy, one’s you were sure you didn’t take. Until numbers started going missing. And people were becoming upset with you, saying that you'd said something rude to them. Something rude you couldn't even imagine yourself saying. But then you saw the screenshots from their end.

"It's just a joke! Stop overthinking it!" He'd say, pulling you onto the bed with him in a tight bear hug. And then the conversation would be forgotten as the two of you wrestled and the wrestling became something more intimate. With his large hands roaming your body, you’d forget what the problem even was.

But then the way you dressed was a problem. The short skirts that he told you he adored, that he'd kiss your thighs in, suddenly, they were too short. The friends that he said he loved, he got upset when you saw them. The job that he was excited that you got, it was taking too much of your time and attention away from him. Why don't you quit? With the volleyball team, he made enough for the both of you, after all. Your working wasn’t doing anything, but making you even more tired.

It suddenly hit you one day. Just what this relationship was. The word toxic always rested in the back of your mind, but you never understood it until you felt it seething off of him one day. He came back home all smiles. The two of you got into an argument that morning, something that was happening more and more often as of late, and while you were forced to stay at home, he went out with his friends. Friends. You don't have any anymore. The world can easily move on without you, especially when all you ever did was make excuses. They didn't have to waste the energy to keep asking when all you did was say no. He came home full smiles and all you felt was hate.

The first time you tried to break up with him was a nightmare. Not the good kind, like your first date, but the kind that made you genuinely question yourself. Your bags were already packed. The taxi was on the way. You didn't know where you'd go or what you'd do, but in the moment, you wanted to be gone. It would all make sense in the future.

But he stepped through the door, that same whimsical smile forming when he saw you. Until he saw what was in your hand. A suitcase and there was another bag on your back. He knew you were trying to leave, even though there were no words spoken.

"Wh-what's all this?" He questioned. His eyes were going from your face, to the bags, back and forth in disbelief.

"Kotaro…" you began. You didn't even have enough time to finish your thought before the waterworks were falling. Tears, they were staining his cheeks. Much like the rain droplets that dripped down his face on the night of your first date. You hated that that was what you were thinking about how, how tears looked like rain as he sobbed his way over to you.

"Don't leave!" He was holding your shoulders firmly, placing sloppy kisses on your face as you attempted to look away. Everything was telling you to look away. Every bone in your body, every hair on your head, every drop of sweat that was on your forehead. But you did anyway. You glanced into his eyes once and you felt yourself crumble. And he knew it too.

He saw you falter and he pounced. His hands were holding your face before you even knew what was happening, "I love you. I know we’re not doing good right now, but I love you. I’ll do better," he spoke those words quickly while looking into your eyes. Another kiss was pressed against your lips and the bag just slipped from your hands. It was like your body was solidifying it. You were stuck here.

Everytime you tried to leave after that was similar. He had so many new tactics, so many new tools to use against you on the off chance that the last one didn't work. When the tears didn't work, it was the affection. He picked you up, took you to the bedroom and slowly undressed you. His lips found any part of your body they could kiss, finding new ways and places he could touch you all through the night.

Violence was another. He never once hurt you. But that didn't keep him from implying that he would. Breaking glasses and slamming doors. He would stand over today, huffing in anger and all you could look at was his arms. Those big, strong arms that you'd fallen in love with on his profile, they were horrifying when they looked like they could snap your neck at any moment.

The last one and probably the one that worked best, was the offer of marriage, something the two of you had never even spoken of before. You were sure of it this time, sure you would leave and that nothing that he would say or do would convince you otherwise. This time you’d planned ahead, arrangements had been made. All that was left was for you to walk out that door. Past his crying, past his anger, past his affection. None of it was working on you and you felt a sense of pride in your chest as your hand gripped the door knob, one turn of the wrist and it would all be over.

“Marry me!” he shouted from across the room. Even you, the you who was so proud of yourself, froze at those words.

You spared him a glance just once, and sure enough, he was on one knee. Sweat was coating his forehead and he was panting from the argument, but he was still holding a little black velvet box in front of him. Even from a distance, you could see the way the diamond on the ring sparkled. It glimmered against the harsh fluorescent lights and as he held it out, destined for you to not turn away, you saw him again. Not the Bokuto that was angry, or jealous, or toxic, but the one who shyly asked you to be his girlfriend two years ago. Your heart sank at the sight of him. The way you still felt love for the him that was presenting himself in front of you right now, it was a weakness.

“I was planning on asking you in a different way,” he shook his head before repeating it differently, “I will ask you in a better way. It’ll be perfect, just like you. Just say yes now, and don’t leave me.”

You weren’t even sure you said anything in response to that question that night. You were far too dumbfounded to speak, but he must’ve taken your silence as a yes, standing from his knee, walking across the room and pulling you into a tight embrace. The ring was slipped onto your finger while he was hugging you and you didn’t even look at it. You felt it though. It felt cold. Wrong.

You twisted that ring on your digit just a few more times before slipping it off your finger and sitting it on the kitchen counter. He was still snoring, he was still sleeping, you could still leave, and there would be nothing to stop you. Even you felt that drugging him was a bit much, but you questioned whether or not you actually had a choice. Finally opening the door to the apartment, feeling how light the air outside was, it gave you an answer. Without the ring, your hand felt free, without him to stop you, you felt free.

This time, there wasn’t a plan. You didn’t have anything ready, you’d only left with the clothes on your back and the little bit of money that you had saved. It was the best you could do on such short notice, but it felt better than when he was showering you with gifts, when you were being suffocated in a place that you were trying to call home.

Two years. That’s how long you’d been away from Kotaro. Two whole years. The morning after you left, your phone was bombarded with texts, missed calls, and voicemails. Not just from him, but from his friends and teammates too. Their numbers were all quickly blocked and you attempted to forget about him.

The job you got wasn’t lavish, it wasn’t extravagant, it wasn’t even all that nice, but it was yours, and you claimed it. It was a pretty fancy hotel that ended up letting you work there, they were short staffed and even though your resume showed a gap in your work history, they trusted you to do your job well. And you did. You worked your ass off the whole two years.

You’d moved practically as far across the country as you could, getting new friends in the process and even finding a new apartment. You’d done everything short of changing your name at this point. You felt free.

“Excuse me!” you turned towards a voice that had called you, your head being full of thoughts that you didn’t even notice a customer. He was peeking his head out of his room door, his orange hair dripping down his face and you could tell that he was shirtless, probably naked on the other side. You didn’t know this man. You didn’t think you did, but something about him just felt so familiar.

“I’m sorry, sir! What can I do for you?”

“Just some more towels, please,” He said with a bit of a chuckle, his face obviously flushed. A simple request and one you did fairly quickly, but for some reason, the boy never left your mind.

The whole day at work you thought about him, how did you know him, but not know him at the same time? Was he a friend from school, a celebrity? None of those things felt right, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Not until he walked through the main entrance of the hotel. That same gray hair, those big yellow eyes. In the two years since you’d seen him, very little about him had changed. You felt vomit rising up your throat as you looked at him. He was wearing his jersey, standing with a group of other men, his teammates. And one of them was the boy with the orange hair. That’s how you knew him. You cursed yourself for not realizing it sooner.

There was a girl at his side, one that was practically throwing herself onto him. His arm, which was wrapped around her waist, slid down and grabbed her ass, squeezing it tightly in his hand. He did this and she let out a laugh, playfully hitting his chest and leaning up to whisper something in his ear. He seemed to not even care about what she was saying though, all while she rubbed across his chest and twirled her finger in her hair, he was looking at you.

There was nothing you could do, no where you could go. He was staring dead at you. There was a smile on his face, but it wasn’t reaching his eyes. Recognition was flying through the team’s as they all realized who you were. Your hands were trembling and you looked down at them, praying that some god would take you and make you disappear before they could speak to you. Before he could speak to you.

But to you delight, he walked straight past you, the girl he was with still on his arm. Even though he didn’t speak, you could feel him looking at you the entire time, until the elevator doors closed and you were left alone in the lobby once more.

You released a shaky breath. There was absolutely no way in hell this wasn’t coming back to bite you in the ass. You looked at the clock, hoping that maybe your shift would be over soon, but of course the time showed that you had at least another three hours. Three hours and rooms to clean. All by yourself. When he could be around any corner.

A part of you wondered why you were even scared of him. Even though you did what you did, two years had already passed, and he’d obviously moved on, the girl at his side told you as much. He’d probably taken multiple girls up to his hotel room in the years, probably even dated some for a while. You tried to make yourself believe that he’d moved on, but there was something telling you that that wasn’t the case. The way he stared at you, the way his eyes seemed locked on and focused on just you, nothing else, it said enough.

The Bokuto you knew was persistent, he was loyal. He was the type of guy to hang off of your leg when you tried to leave. Two years was a long time, but was it long enough to make him forget?

Thoughts were racing through your mind as you smoothed out the sheets of the bed. This was your last room to clean of the night and as you smoothed out the sheets, all you could do was breathe a sigh of relief. The clock on the nightstand told you that you had twenty minutes left before your shift was over, but you knew you’d finish the room before then and be able to leave early.

You noticed how dark the sky looked as you drew the curtains. It was already late, but there was also a possibility for rain, you could smell it in the air. The last thing you did was turn off the television, it was the only thing that could keep you company as you cleaned the rooms alone.

As you tossed the remote on the bed, you heard it. It was so faint, that you wouldn’t have noticed it, had you not already been on edge. It was a quiet sound, there and gone just as quickly as it was there. The sound of rustling, ever so slightly.

The logical part of your brain was telling you that it’d come from the next room over, it was a hotel after all, other guests were bound to make noise, but the paranoid side was telling you that something, or someone was there. From the closet, the one in the far corner of the room, the one that you’d neglected to clean, the one that was right in front of the room door, the only exit. A lump was caught in your throat and you tried to push the thought away. But for some reason, you couldn’t get yourself to walk past the closet door.

It was open, just a tiny bit. The light in the closet wasn’t on so all you could see was darkness, but for just a moment, you thought you could see movement, hear breathing, feel something staring at you, waiting for you to try and leave.

You felt stupid, dumb, you felt like an actual idiot, but you still did it regardless, because despite what you wanted to believe, you knew who was there, “Kotaro?” your voice was quivering as you spoke to what you hoped was nothing, and for a moment, you were sure it was going to be.

Everything was still, quiet, nothing was moving, not even you. You were sure that you’d gone crazy, even happy at the probability. Anything was better than him actually being in there.

But then the door creaked open. Slowly. And when light flooded into the closest, you saw him. A chill ran down your spine as you thought everything over. You’d been cleaning this room for almost thirty minutes. No one was in this room before you came into it. How long had he been there, watching you?

Words were caught in your throat and your mouth went completely dry. He stepped out and made sure that he was positioned right in front of the room door. No escape. Not unless you wanted to take your chances with the window. You gave it a backwards glance. Sixth floor and no fire escape, jumping would be the end of you, but staying here would be too.

“Didn’t think you’d catch me in there,” he was smiling. Despite everything that was happening, despite the fact that he was obviously keeping you here against your will, he was smiling. A friendly smile like the two of you were meeting on your own terms as acquaintances.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” That was the first thought that came to your head and you spoke it. Truth be told, you didn’t really want an answer, you didn’t even want to speak to him any longer.

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Just missed you is all,” he began digging around in his pocket as he spoke, “Don’t get the wrong idea or anything, I promise I didn’t know you worked here. We’ve got a game with the local team is all.”

“That doesn’t answer my question!”

Bokuto finally pulled out what he was looking for in his pocket, holding it up to the light and letting you see the familiar glimmer. Your wedding band. The one you’d left on the counter two years ago. He couldn’t be serious, but his face read nothing but it. He’d finally gotten you back.

“The girl I came in with is nobody,” he was taking slow, deliberate steps towards you as he spoke, forcing you to step backwards to keep the distance, “After I saw you, I didn’t even have the urge to fuck her anymore. She was just a placeholder till I got you back, they all were.”

“You have to leave,” you tried to speak aggressively, but your voice was shaking. Even you weren’t intimated by yourself.

“Not without you,” He was directly in front of you at this point, so close you could feel the warmth coming off his body. Your legs were shaking so much, you couldn’t take another step. You couldn’t even rush past him, there was no way you were faster than him, the trained athlete.

He took your left hand into his, pulling it up to his lips and kissing it. His lips were cold. All you could think about while he kissed a trail up your forearm, his eyes boring holes into your skull, was that his lips were cold. All you could feel was the cold. The cold of his lips, of his stare, of the ring being slid back onto your finger.

“I forgive you for what you did,” he spoke with a smile, pressing a kiss against your lips, “But we’ve gotta make up for lost time. Two years without you, doll,” his hand was cupping your cheek, “Two years is a really long time.”

You were tossed back onto the bed. You sank into the soft mattress and the pillows, eyes already filling with tears as you watched him step towards you. One of his hands was already rubbing the bulge that was forming in his pants, the other spread your knees that had locked up tight, forcing his body between them before you could shut them again.

“Pl-please-” you could barely even beg as you struggled to form words. It felt like all the air had left your chest and you were suffocating. But that was just the fear. Not just fear of what he’d do to you in this moment, but fear for the rest of your life. He had you now. That escape plan of yours, only would work once, now you were truly stuck with him forever.

He reached down and wiped a tear from your eye with his thumb, “Don’t look at me like that,” he reassured, “Look at me like you used to. Like you love me.”

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyu x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere bokuto #yandere bokuto Kotaro #haikyuu headcanons #bokuto x reader #bokuto headcanons #bokuto koutarou #tw dubcon #tw abuse #tw noncon #tw toxic relationship #love letters

392 notes · View notes